Something to Remember

“Just do it already Sam!”
“What if I cut too deep?”
“Sam, he’s as good as dead either way, at least with that thing broken I’ve got a chance to help him.”

The wet, gurgling sound of Dean’s breathing cemented Sam’s decision, nodding once and popping his pocketknife open, taking a deep breath to steady himself before slicing quickly across the center of the tattoo on his brother’s chest.

“Catch me.” Was all Ruby said before letting go of the blonde to pour into Dean. Sam was relieved when she didn’t bounce off, dropping the knife and turning to catch the blonde as she fell, laying the body out gently on the gravel of the parking lot.

“No need to be that gentle with it Sam,” came Dean’s voice from beside him, “You know what that body’s been through, and old age would have killed her years ago.”
Sam turned back then, wincing just slightly at the fact that Dean’s eyes were demon eyes, that soulless black void, “Can I talk to him?”
There was a head-shake and Ruby said: “Not just yet, better if he stays under for now, at least until the healing sets in.”
Sam nodded, glancing back at the body, “I’ll, I’ll take care of the cleanup. Just, just wait here, I’ll be back.”
He picked up the blonde then, trying to ignore how light she was, little more than a husk.

He returned once the building was in flames, finding Dean lounging in the passenger seat of the Impala, “You’re not driving?” His eyes flickered open, still ink-black, causing Sam to recoil instinctively, “Right, guess not.”
“I don’t actually know how to drive, never needed to.” Ruby said with a shrug.
Sam just nodded, sliding almost nervously into the driver’s seat, starting the quiet, entirely too-tense ride back to the motel.

“Get some sleep Sam.” Ruby said, quietly, “Been a long day.” Sam, finally starting to feel the exhaustion creeping in, just nodded, toeing off his shoes and stretching out on one of the lumpy beds, only to turn over on his side a moment later, half-curling, defensive, really.

When Sam woke the next morning, things almost seemed normal. For one thing Dean was singing along with the radio alarm as he got dressed. Sam smiled, relieved, maybe it had all been another nightmare. Though he knew it hadn’t been, he was still wearing the clothes he’d had on the night before, still covered in dirt and spattered with blood.

“I'm going to take a shower.” He said, quietly, only to be greeted with a wholly Dean response, “Just don’t take forever Sammy, time to get some breakfast and hit the road. Want to get the hell out of here.”
Sam nodded, searching for any sign of anything other than Dean in his brother’s movements, his presence, “Yeah. Just have to get the dirt off.”

Dean smiled at that, “Yes you do, I'm not letting you back in my car looking like you fell in a swamp. Go on, shower, I’ll get everything packed up.”
Sam nodded again, dragging clean clothes out of his bag before slipping off to the bathroom.

He emerged not long after, rubbing his hair dry with a hand towel. Dean was making one last sweep of the room, “You ready to go Sammy?”
Sam nodded, slinging the towel back into the bathroom, “Yeah, let’s go, I'm ready to put this place behind us.”
Dean grinned, bumping the door open, “Then let’s go.”

This was how things were supposed to be, and Sam could almost forget that he was talking to Ruby and not Dean.
Aside from Led Zeppelin blaring at full volume, the ride to the next town was made in silence, with Sam casting sideways glances at Dean the entire way.
Finally Dean snapped, “What? Why do you keep looking at me like I grew another head or something?”
Sam’s brow furrowed, shaking his head, “Nothing, I guess.”

Breakfast was just as weird, because aside from how he relished the country potatoes, he still ate like Dean. Sam resigned himself to just pretending nothing was wrong and hoping he’d get an answer later. He didn’t have to wait long, Dean decided to catch some sleep, claiming he was still exhausted from the night before, sliding over into the passenger seat and letting Sam drive.

“He doesn’t know, he can’t.” It was Dean’s voice, but Ruby was using it, “He’d deny it if he knew, fight it. He’s not strong enough to kick me out, but he could do some damage, reopen the wounds I'm keeping closed until they heal. If he knew I was here, he could die, it’s that simple Sam.”
Sam just nodded, looking grim. That was all he’d needed to know, really.

It got easier to pretend as the weeks wore on, pretend he didn’t know, even though he did, there was a darkness to Dean’s eyes now, they were never wholly ink-black like they had been that first night, in fact, they were just as green as ever, but sometimes there was a darkness behind them, making them look depthless.
He knew how bad his brother’s wounds had been, he knew approximately how long it would take them to heal.

If Dean ever noticed the clean slice right across his tattoo, he never mentioned it, and Sam had a feeling that Ruby wasn’t letting him see it. No sense making him suspicious. That was the other thing Sam knew, that Ruby was there, all the time, but it got easier to ignore her too, since she stayed quiet.

Weeks wore on into months, and those dwindled until there were only a scant few days before Dean’s deal came due. There was nothing left to research, no avenues they hadn’t tried two or three times over, and finally Dean just pulled into their usual rat-trap sort of motel, shaking his head, “This is it Sammy. End of the line.” Sam shook his head, jaw set, “I'm going with you Dean.”
Dean’s brow arched: “And what? Shoot her again? Put us on a hit list for hellhounds? No, Sam, you’re staying here. You’re sleeping. And tomorrow morning you’re leaving. Go… follow up on that thing you found in Richmond, I don’t care, just get out of here.”

Sam shook his head again, turning away, willing the tears down, though he was surprised a moment later by Dean’s fingers against his jaw, nudging his head back around to meet his brother’s eyes before leaning in and pressing a sudden kiss to Sam’s mouth, murmuring, “Need something good to remember.” Before resuming it more insistently.

Sam flailed, mostly inwardly for a moment before practically melting into the kiss, one hand settling against Dean’s shoulder, fingers resting against the side of his throat, feeling Dean’s pulse against his fingers, thudding away, hearing his own rushing in his ears, finally managing to push Dean to arm’s length, “Can we at least get a room first?”

Dean, nodded, tongue darting out across his lower lip, “Yeah. Yeah, good idea. Wait here.” And he slipped away, bumping the door shut behind him. He was back within a few minutes, swinging a key around his finger and nodding to their door. Sam unfolded from the Impala, following Dean inside. He gasped in surprise as he was pressed back against the door, feeling it snick shut against his back, Dean’s hand pressed flat against his chest.

Sam’s heartbeat kicked up as Dean’s mouth covered his own, half-desperate and searching, demanding in a way that was wholly Dean. It rocked him to the core, rattling a low moan from his chest, eyes slipping closed as his fingers curled in the front of Dean’s shirt, not about to let him up, fully intent on making sure they both remembered this.

There was another low sound as one of Dean’s work-roughened hands tugged at his shirt, finally meeting skin, sliding up Sam’s side, trailing heat, causing his breath to catch, head thumping back against the door, having to break the kiss just so that he could breathe. Dean growled faintly, latching onto the pulse point fluttering at the base of his brother’s throat, just gnawing at it a moment. He pulled away after that, brow creasing as he attempted to haul Sam’s shirt off over his head, met with some particularly frustrating resistance.

Sam shook his head, pushing Dean away a moment so that he could peel out of his shirt, tossing it aside before pressing himself forward, resuming the kiss just long enough to slide his hands up over Dean’s chest and down his arms, shedding him out of his jacket, nipping at his brother’s lower lip as he leaned back again, tugging at the hem of Dean’s shirt, “Off.” He was only capable of single words, it seemed, but since it got his point across, he wasn’t going to try for more.

It was only moments before they collided again, already pawing at each other, neither really trying to gain the upper hand, just feeling each other out, finding limits, boundaries, and then in typical Winchester fashion, breezing right past them and pressing on. Finally Sam pulled away again, shaking his head, swallowing thickly, breathing gone shallow, ragged, “More?”

“Yes.” Was the only response, and there was something in the timbre of Dean’s voice that set prickles of almost-cold across Sam’s skin, unsure for a moment just who it was that was talking. He shook his head to clear it, then nodded, swallowing hard, “Okay.” The kiss that followed was just as hungry as the last had been, and more searching, not even sure what he was trying to find, one hand slid down Dean’s side, fingertips catching against the waist of his pants before sliding around to the front, managing to get his belt loose without looking, having to pull away from the kiss, panting, to get the button and the zip to work, forehead pressed against the line of Dean’s jaw.

Dean groaned faintly, mirroring the action, fingers fumbling only a moment, excitement and need making him twitchy, practically vibrating. Finally he pushed Sam back against the bed, “Stay there.” Sam finished kicking his way out of his jeans as he flopped back on the bed, eyes closing a moment so he could catch his breath. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped when Dean returned, stretching out alongside him, nudging at his hip and his shoulder, turning Sam over on his stomach, dragging down a pillow to prop him up with.

Sam settled himself into position, still panting, making breathless, needy little noises in the back of his throat as Dean prepared him, it seemed that they both knew what they were doing, even if they’d never been in this particular position before. When Dean had finally finished preparing him and slid firmly home, Sam was glad he couldn’t see his brother’s face, not sure he’d like what he saw just at the moment. Though a moment later, when Dean pressed a kiss against the back of his neck before nibbling along the slope of his shoulder, Sam decided that it didn’t matter whether it was Dean or Ruby in charge at the moment, because he knew Dean was going to remember it either way, and that was really all that mattered.

His jaw quavered a moment before he clenched his teeth, rocking back against Dean, trying to spur him into movement, knowing that movement would be better than just holding still, locked together as they were, his legs bracketing his brother’s.
Dean made a soft, half-desperate sound at that, drawing back only to rock forward again, teeth sinking more firmly against Sam’s shoulder, it was going to bruise, they both knew it, but that was alright. Sam wanted the reminder.

It wasn’t long before they’d fallen into an easy, grinding rhythm. This was just one more thing they did together without having to think about where the other one was going to be, falling almost perfectly into synch within a matter of moments. Sam bit back a mewl when his brother’s fingers curled against his aching arousal, stroking once experimentally before just adding another movement to the rhythm they’d already built, leaving Sam panting, whimpering faintly with each breath, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to last much longer.

Sam felt his brother grin against his shoulder before nibbling at the side of his throat again, and then the shell of his ear, Dean’s hips moving more firmly, movement starting to go erratic, he was already on edge as well, and the soft, pleading noises Sam kept making were just making it worse. Finally Dean’s fingers tightened for a moment, thumb making a slow sweep across the head of his brother’s cock, which was really all it took to wring his climax from him, Sam attempting to muffle his whimper in the pillow beneath him, shuddering, almost jerking as he came.

Dean groaned low and hot against the arch of Sam’s neck, his brother’s climax serving to heighten the sensation of his own as it hit a moment later, half-collapsing across Sam’s back, sliding down against his side as he tried to remember how to breathe, tried to will his heartbeat down to something resembling normal.

Once Dean had recovered enough to actually stand upright he went to get a washcloth, cleaning them both off gently, pressing a kiss to Sam’s jaw, “Get some sleep Sammy. You need the rest. Don’t worry about me.” His voice was little more than a murmur as he stretched out along his brother’s back, relaxing. He had time, not a lot now, but enough to make sure that Sam did drift off to sleep.
Dean waited until Sam fell asleep completely before slipping away, just like Sam had expected.

He walked to the nearest crossroad, his brother was going to need the car now, after all, and he waited. He was surprisingly relaxed for a man who was about to be damned, but it was like he’d said to Sam at the start: he was tired, and even though it was hellfire making the light at the end of the tunnel, it was still a light it was the end, and it was a relief.

He didn’t have to wait long before she arrived. It wasn’t the same demon who he’d made the deal with in the first place, Sam had shot that one months ago.
“Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” She said, one hand on her hip, looking altogether too pleased with herself, “You Winchesters really are alike.”

Dean sighed, shaking his head, “Can we just get this over with without all the gloating, please?”
She purred, shaking her head and padding forward, reaching up to scratch against his chest, “Are you really that eager to come downstairs and play Dean?” Dean’s jaw just tightened, staring her down.

He hissed in pain as her nails dug in suddenly, fairly sure she’d drawn blood. He didn’t have time to register that there was no further pain, only barely had a chance to see her expression shift to one of confusion before he was gagging, feeling as if he was being turned inside out. His eyes screwed shut, feeling the cloud of smoke as it poured out of him.

It was over so suddenly that he felt his ears pop, falling to his knees, trying to catch his breath. It took him a moment to register the hand petting gently over his head, batting it aside with a glower, “Don’t touch me.”
Ruby laughed, just once, “I save your ass, again, and you don’t even thank me.” She shook her head, giving him a nudge, “Get out of here Dean, your deal’s been fulfilled, you’re free.” A shrug, “People aren’t going to be happy, you’ll still be followed, but at least you don’t have this hanging over you any more. If you hurry, Sam’ll still be waiting, I told him if you weren’t back in an hour, it hadn’t worked.”

Dean shook his head, still looking as confused as ever, “But… when the hell did you have time to…?” Ruby cut him off, “It doesn’t matter Dean. What matters is that your deal’s been filled and not broken, Sam’s not going to keel over, and you’re not going to hell. Not today. Now get out of here before somebody comes looking. Get a head start.”
He nodded then, slowly, still looking confused, but he unfolded stiffly all the same, dusting himself off, “Ruby?” He said, glancing at her sideways, “Thanks.”