Consequences

Brian's POV

The sound of the door to the loft opening, causes me to wake up. I roll over in bed, reaching for Justin. The only thing is, Justin is not the person who is lying next to me. Suddenly I bolt out of my bed, as the events of last night come back to me.

"Oh shit." The words come out softly, as I remember that I slept with Michael last night. I look up to see Justin standing in the doorway. He doesn't say anything, only looks at me. His blue eyes are sad, and I feel like a shit for making him sad.

But then I think, 'I'm Brian fucking Kinney' and I don't care about anyone but myself. Then I make the mistake of looking into his eyes again. As he speaks, my heart hurts. "I know you don't love me, but do you have to trick all the time?"

I remain silent, as he looks at the bed and then back at me. After a moment, Justin does a double-take. Then he nods his head, almost as if silently accepting something. A moment later, Justin speaks. "Oh, fuck it. I can't... I don't know what to say to this!"

I don't know what to say either. But as I stand here trying to think of what to say, Justin silently walks over to the closet. He begins to take all of his things out, and then sets them down on the floor. He's going to have a lot of laundry to do.

Without really knowing why, I walk over to the blonde. Grabbing his arm, I ask, "What the fuck are you doing?" Justin gives me a 'you're shitting me' type of look. Then he says, "I'm tired of this shit, Brian. I'm tired of not being able to be enough for you."

My heart hammers in my chest at his words, and I want to tell Justin that he is more than enough for me, but I can't. The words come out before I can stop them. "So you're just gonna leave again." I watch Justin as he lets out a harsh huff of disbelief.

He looks at me and then says, "I'm tired, Brian. I'm tired of all of this. I'm tired of never being enough for you. I'm tired of all the games, and all the fucking around. I love you, and I want to be with you. But I know that will never happen, so it's best if I leave, and I am."

For some reason, his words make me freeze. "What do you mean by that?" My question comes out more panicked than I wanted it to. Justin turns back to me, after he finishes packing up the few things that he had in the loft. "I can't do this, so I'm leaving town."

As I try to grasp what Justin has just said, he finishes packing his bag. As I finally snap out of my thoughts, I go to stop Justin from leaving. "Brian, get out of my way." His words slam through me, and nothing else matters, but making sure that Justin stays.

"No, I'm not moving." My reply is firm, and so I'm surprised when Justin pushes me out of his way. I stumble for a few moments in shock, and then I catch myself before I would have fallen. I look at Justin, and say, "Why?" Justin laughs, but it's a bitter and hurt laugh.

"I was always afraid that I would lose you to one of your tricks. I thought that what we had was special. That no one else would ever have what we had. That your tricks would remain just that, tricks. That Michael would just remain your friend. But no, you just had to fuck him!"

Seeing the pain in his blue eyes is killing me to know, that once again, I'm the reason for it. I take a few steps toward Justin, who quickly reaches the door to the loft. Pulling it open, my blonde says, "You really fucked up this time, Brian. You slept with Michael. Your actions hurt me, and I can't forgive that."

Justin looks like he's about to cry, as he continues. "So now you have to deal with the consequences of those actions. I hope it was worth it, because I'm out of here. Bye Brian, don't ever contact me again." After those words, Justin walks out the loft, and out of my life.

I stand frozen to the spot, unable to believe that I lost the second most important person in my life, Gus being the first. It feels like someone punched me in the stomach, or someone sucked all of the air out of the room. I can't breathe, and now I think I'm going to be sick.

I kick Michael out of the loft, and then bolt for the bathroom. The contents of my stomach come up, and a tear slips down my cheek, since I know that I fucked up huge this time. Justin is leaving me for good, and I feel like my heart is breaking into a million shattered pieces.

The End.