My Serenity

~River’s Perspective~
I can’t remember if I was ever afraid of the dark. I crawl into small spaces in dark places and view the people around me, as if experiencing life through them. The simple pleasures of lips against lips, flesh against flesh, and hearts against hearts. Some parts of me have always been jealous of seeing others in love, while the only way I can experience it is through others. Few things are more frustrating than being in a place full of people who love you, but wanting a different kind of love.

I step silently through Serenity, and she seems to respect my need for privacy, because each footstep is unheard and no noises occur that might wake the currently sleeping occupants. I place my hand softly against the wall to give thanks, before continuing on my trek through Serenity’s interior. I do this all the time lately, the peace that is Serenity causing even my sometimes chaotic mind to be at ease.

As I approach the Captain’s room, I place my hand silently on the door and his dreams flow into my mind. Dreams are always difficult to grasp, because they are usually full of so many images flashing from one to the other often you can’t tell where it begins or ends. Mal’s dream is very vivid though. Shifting bodies in brightly colored sheets, lips against bare, intimate skin, and names bursting out of them between words of worship and pleasure.

He’s dreaming of Inara of course, which isn’t too unusual as he did often, but nonetheless my cheeks color a little, and I break the connection, allowing the old soldier his privacy. Curious, I proceed on to Inara’s shuttle/room and take a peek into her dreams as well. Unlike Mal, these dreams were a bit harder to follow. Flashes of body heat, a surge of electricity between lips, and images of the Companion training house.

I can also detect frustration, because every person Inara saw in her mind has an uncanny resemblance to the Captain. A small alarm went off in Inara’s mind, and I quickly break the connection. Inara is too intelligent, too aware, for even I to step into her mind without the Companion feeling it. I can feel her awaken, but by the time she opens the door to her room to peer out into the hall I’m already gone, silent as the wind. Thank you Serenity.

As I approach Zoe’s room, I don’t have to make a connection to feel the sorrow radiating from her like the Sun. It has been four months since her husband’s death, and understandably she still suffers. She buries her pain by keeping herself busy, she buries it so well in fact that no one besides Inara and myself know she is barely keeping herself together. Zoe is a very strong woman, but pains of the heart can bring the strongest to their knees.

I lightly kiss the door to her room and ask Serenity to watch over her then make my way to Jayne’s room. Even before I make the connection I know what to expect, but when I do it still makes me giggle. Images flash through my mind of Jayne fighting a one man war against the Alliance, and all the riches and women such an impossible event would earn him. In each image Vera is his weapon of choice, and the song that those people made for him plays in the background like a theme song.

I smile and break the connection then move on to Kaylee. As I reach the engine room I feel two distinct minds, one from Kaylee and one from my brother, Simon. Those two have been having sex just about every day for the last four months, and due to that Simon is noticeably more relaxed. I connect to Kaylee and images flash through my mind of the ship having brand new parts. Serenity has always been her baby, and replacing all the old stuff with brand new parts is kind of like a mother buying her child an expensive outfit.

Simon walks up and kisses Kaylee just before I break the connection, and it brings a smile to my face. Finally, I connect with my brother, and as always his dreams are absolutely clear. Images roll through my mind like a movie, showing him marrying Kaylee and settling down. He imagines starting a family and seeing me happily married myself some day. He dreams of a perfect life, one that even my naive brother doubts will happen.

I focus on the image of my wedding, my heart getting heavy as I realize just how impossible such a dream would be. I’ve always wanted to find love, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. Such things were the product of a little girl’s wild imagination. I’ve been quite well over the last four months, but that doesn’t change the fact that I was tortured, turned into a living weapon, and became borderline crazy for some time.

Even if the Alliance is finally done with me, I’m damaged goods. Who could possibly want to be with a girl that can open them up and literally read them like a book with no effort at all? Not many, I imagine. I sigh and break the connection, then finally walk to my room. As I enter, I close the door behind me and sit down in front of the door, then criss cross my legs and lean back. For a moment I look at my bed and consider sleep, but I know that even while I rest on my mind is still active and feeling everyone. Oddly, it’s easier to sleep when everyone else is awake.

My mind wanders to what I had seen and felt in Mal’s dream and a shiver runs along my body. Featherlike touches begin to tickle my skin in a most delicious way, and I curse my mind for making me feel aroused. Even so, the touches increase and I close my eyes and lean my head back slightly, a victim of my own mind. The gown I’m wearing brushes against my rapidly hardening nipple and a gasp of pleasure is torn from my throat.

I shakily stand up and then lay down on my bed, deciding that just like every day, I will give in to the sensations. People have said they possess overactive imaginations, but mine really is overactive. Against my own will, my mind remembers every sensation I’ve ever felt, whether they are my own past feelings or someone else's. I feel a hand cup my right breast through the gown, and I moan as the fire shoots through me. I look down to discover it’s my own hand.

Even though I know everything there is to know about sex, the pleasure of arousal still surprises me. No one has ever touched me intimately before, although when the Alliance had me captive, I went through frequent tests and examinations, and I was naked during all of them. The examiners were all professionals, so none of them ever looked at or touched me inappropriately.

Sometimes a younger examiner’s eyes would linger on my body, but nothing beyond that. My mind forcefully tore me from my distracting thoughts by giving me the image and feeling of one of the examiners bending down and taking one of my nipples between his lips. The feeling shot fire through my body, and I whimper, pinching that very nipple gently between my fingers. My gown suddenly feels too good on my sensitive skin, so I sit up and remove it in one pull, making my long hair fall down over my exposed breasts.

Since I was alone when wandering around inside Serenity, I hadn’t bothered to put on any panties either, so I’m suddenly bare for all....no one to see. Feeling anxious to continue, I push my hair away and finally grasp my bared breasts in both hands. I lightly pinch my left nipple while also squeezing my right breast, alternating between the two as my mind sought to drive me crazy with sensations.

I moan softly, my voice full of desire, and lay on my back again, resting my head on the soft pillow. I close my eyes and give in to the tidal wave of feelings crashing down on my shaking body. In my mind I saw the examiner slowly kiss down my body, sending shivers coursing through me with each touch of his lips. I was too caught up in my imagination to notice my hand leave my breast and follow the path of imaginary kisses down my body.

When the examiner finally reaches his target, he spreads my legs and looks intensely at a part of me I wouldn’t show to just anyone. His eyes travel up and down my body, memorizing every inch of me with such a hungry look on his face it makes me blush. He finally bends down and just before I can feel embarrassed, his tongue presses between my legs. Unbeknownst to me, my fingers reach between my legs at the exact moment and the twin demons of fire and cold shooting through me makes me moan and arch my back a little, desperately seeking more of the feeling.

My fingers rub my clit just like the examiner was licking it and my body moves against both, gasps and moans now flowing out of me without hesitation. I can see the arousal in the examiner’s eyes, and it looks like it is taking so much effort not to bury himself inside of me. To do something about his rising lust, he licks his tongue against me a few times and then positions his tongue at my entrance.

He stares at me to make sure I’m watching and then pushes his tongue inside of me, and I mimic what I see by pushing two fingers inside of me. I clinch so tight around my fingers and try to push in as much as possible, struggling to keep my moans of pleasure at a manageable level. My hips slightly at the incredible feeling of having something inside of me, and I ignore the examiner in my mind entirely.

I could feel it boiling up inside of me, the impending orgasm robbing me of all my freewill and causing me to push hard against my fingers. Oh God, my thumb presses hard against my clit and I barely hold back the urge to scream out my orgasm before it bursts. I desperately thrust my fingers in and out of my tight hole, fluids flow around my fingers and soak my hand while my back arches in pleasure.

I clinch my teeth to prevent myself from moaning too loud and waking everyone up, but not even I can stop all of it from getting out as my small frame lightly shakes the bed from the force of my thrusts. Slowly, my the feeling stops raging through my body, my hips twitch against my fingers in the final throes of my explosive orgasm. Like I thought before, how something could feel so powerful was beyond even my understanding.

I finally settle back on my bed and slowly pull my fingers out of me, taking a few moments to enjoy the afterglow of what I just felt. My body feels so relaxed, so sexy, and suddenly oh so tired. I clean off my fingers and without a single care or thought in the world, I slide beneath my covers and rest against my pillow. Within seconds my eyes close and I fall into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of having someone to kiss goodnight.

~Author's Note~
I wrote this on a whim, although if people like it I have started planning out an actual storyline that will go into greater detail about River finding someone and definitely more detail in the sex scenes between some of the other characters. Writing something like this has been on my mind for a while. An Original Character will come into play and I have a lot of cool stuff planned out IF people like it so far. Give a review and/or rate to show me if you want more. You will NOT see anything silly like Jayne/Inara or Jayne/Kaylee. Thanks for reading!