It's Stuck

It’s Stuck

By Katherine Gibbons

     Clark
had a problem.  A very serious
problem.  It was not the kind of problem
he could bring himself to seek out his parents about.style='mso-spacerun:yes'>  It was certainly not the kind of thing he
could phone Chloe or Lana over.  And
there was no way in hell Pete would ever let him live it down if he were to
know of it.

     There was one
person, only one person Clark could call in
this time of crisis.

     “Lex, I have a
problem.”

     style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>“What kind of problem?”style='mso-spacerun:yes'>  Lex questioned, genuinely concerned.

     “I was horny and I
wanted to experiment with…you know.  So I
got a cucumber…and…well…”

     There was silence
on the other line, a sure sign that Lex knew exactly what was going on but the
teenager filled in the blank anyway.

     “It’s style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>stuck!” 
Clark wailed plaintively.

     More silence and
then, “You couldn’t think of a better use
for your mother’s produce?”

     “Lex!”

     “style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>I’m sorry. 
I’m sorry.”  He sounded like
he was trying hard to suppress his laughter.

     Clark
detected the sound of car keys over the phone.

     style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>“Don’t move. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’m on my way.”

     Lex arrived at the
Kent farm about ten minutes
later and headed for the loft to find Clark lying
on his side on the couch, his lower half covered with a blue and white plaid
blanket.

     “It broke in half
and I can’t get a hold of it…”  w:st="on">Clark said by way of greeting, looking positively
mortified.

     Any humor Lex felt
towards the situation immediately dissipated at the look on the boy’s
face.  Walking over to the couch Lex
brushed a hand through Clark’s hair with
fraternal concern.  “Does it hurt?”

     “No.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'>  Clark
replied- embarrassed, frustrated, and on the brink of tears. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “It’s just stuck.”

     “Let’s have a
look.”  Lex said, trying to keep his tone
reassuring.

     The teenager took
up position on his hands and knees, letting the blanket fall away.

     If the situation
was different the young Luthor might have stopped and admired the view.

     “I’m really hoping
your father doesn’t walk up here and think I’m molesting his darling boy.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'>  Lex said as he moved up behind w:st="on">Clark and took stock of the situation.

     The cucumber
wasn’t in particularly deep but it was slick with whatever Clark
had used to lube it and the angle certainly didn’t lend the teenager any advantage
in retrieval.

     “Don’t even joke
about that Lex.”  The boy said as Lex
rested his right hand against his lower back and worked to get his fingers
around the cucumber with his left.

     “I think I’ve got
it.”

     The feeling of Lex
slipping the cucumber out of him was a truly queer sensation.

     “No more cucumbers
Clark.” 
Lex said, dropping the violated vegetable into a nearby trashcan as the
boy did up his pants.  “If you really
want to experiment with this kind of thing I’ll buy you a proper plug.style='mso-spacerun:yes'>  ‘Kay?”

     “Okay.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'>  Clark said
ducking his head and- if at all possible- seeming to blush an even darker shade
of red.

     “Come on, let’s go
wash up.”

     Still blushing
furiously Clark led the way from the loft to
the house.

     “Oh, hi Lex.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'>  Martha greeted as Lex followed his young
friend into the kitchen.  She set a
handful of vegetables down on the counter. 
“Can you stay for lunch?”

     Lex patted w:st="on">Clark on the back in bonhomie as the boy once again
turned a blinding shade of crimson.

     “That’s
funny.”  Martha said as she stared at the
two cucumbers sitting on her counter.  “I
could have sworn I picked three.”