Small Things That Matters
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Adult +
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Category:
S through Z › Skins
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
2,432
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Skins, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Small Things That Matters
I tried my best to keep them both in character, although I don't think Cassie smokes. Either way, here's to hoping it's not too bad/OOC. Con-crit welcomed. Oh, and this doesn't take place in any particular episode/timeline.
Small Things That Matters
"It doesn't matter, you know, it doesn't matter." She spoke quickly, like she was stressed, like she was in a hurry, lighting up her fourth cigarette in less than an hour. "It doesn't matter, because no one, and I mean no one, fucking cares, you know."
A small break to take a drag on the cigarette, and to blow out a cloud of smoke. "My parents... Hah! They're so busy with themselves, with their own lives, you know. They're so passionate! About each other about, about my dad's art, about everything in their lives, and they just don't... see me, you know. I mean, they look at me, they talk to me, but they don't see me, not really. They believe every lie I tell them. They believe me when I say I've eaten, when I say I've gained weight. They never check, because they trust me, you know. But they shouldn't, 'cause I'm a fucking liar."
Another break in her frantic talking, and he could see that her hand was shaking desperately. She didn't seem to notice it herself, though. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes, one of them finding their way down her cheek and he wanted to reach out and wipe it away, but he couldn't bring himself to move, or to say anything.
"Many times I ask myself, why don't I just end it, you know? No one would fucking care anyway, everyone's always too busy to care about strange Cassie who never eats. And there is no reason to try and get better, either, 'cause even if I started eating normally, even if I gained what they call a 'normal' weight, it wouldn't matter, 'cause people would still remember me as that strange anorexic girl who talks too much and too quickly and never really had any friends. I will always be strange Cassie, no matter what I fucking do. And they say I should try to get better for my own sake... Hah!" She snorted loudly and scornfully. "Yeah, right, the thing is that I don't even care about myself, you know. And it's not so easy to just 'get better, get normal'. It's not so bloody easy as they try to make it out to be. So, why don't I end it? Why don't I?"
She had now turned to look at him, but she didn't seem to be really looking at him, and he realised the question wasn't aimed at him, but at herself. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she made no move to wipe them away and the cigarette between her fingers was shaking violently, dropping ash all over her skirt. She didn't seem to notice that, either.
He had never seen her like this before, and he felt ashamed for all the times he had done just like everyone else, laughed at and teased her behind her back. He wanted to make it up to her, but he wasn't sure how. He bit his lip and reached over to take the cigarette from her as she was just seconds from dropping it. She looked curiously at him, before blinking and seeming to snap out of whatever trance had made her open up to him like that all of sudden.
"Wow," she said, that dreamy tone she always spoke in back in her voice, "I'm sorry."
He didn't say anything, just put out the cigarette for her and then turned to face her again and before he knew what he was doing he reached out to place a light kiss to her lips. When he pulled away she was smiling, her sad eyes seeming to have lit up a bit with a new kind of light he had never seen before.
"I care, you know," he murmured in that slightly awkward way of his. "I'm... bad at showing it, but I do care."
"I like you, Sid," she said, words he had heard her say before, but never paid attention to, because he had been too busy fawning over Michelle.
Michelle, the girl of his dreams, the girl he deep inside knew he would never get. 'I love you Sid, like a brother.' He had heard those words all too many times, but Cassie, she liked him and not just like a brother. He'd been so blind, dreaming over someone he could never have instead of looking at what was right in front of him.
"I like you too, Cassie," he said, and this time he meant it. Truly meant it.
She smiled again, and he could soon feel her hand sneak into his, holding tightly. "Then there are these small things, small, but important things that makes it all worthwhile, you know. That makes all the pain and demons and sleepless nights worth it."
Her smile widened as she looked at him again. "You know?"
And he returned the smile with a nod. "Yeah, I know."
END
Small Things That Matters
"It doesn't matter, you know, it doesn't matter." She spoke quickly, like she was stressed, like she was in a hurry, lighting up her fourth cigarette in less than an hour. "It doesn't matter, because no one, and I mean no one, fucking cares, you know."
A small break to take a drag on the cigarette, and to blow out a cloud of smoke. "My parents... Hah! They're so busy with themselves, with their own lives, you know. They're so passionate! About each other about, about my dad's art, about everything in their lives, and they just don't... see me, you know. I mean, they look at me, they talk to me, but they don't see me, not really. They believe every lie I tell them. They believe me when I say I've eaten, when I say I've gained weight. They never check, because they trust me, you know. But they shouldn't, 'cause I'm a fucking liar."
Another break in her frantic talking, and he could see that her hand was shaking desperately. She didn't seem to notice it herself, though. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes, one of them finding their way down her cheek and he wanted to reach out and wipe it away, but he couldn't bring himself to move, or to say anything.
"Many times I ask myself, why don't I just end it, you know? No one would fucking care anyway, everyone's always too busy to care about strange Cassie who never eats. And there is no reason to try and get better, either, 'cause even if I started eating normally, even if I gained what they call a 'normal' weight, it wouldn't matter, 'cause people would still remember me as that strange anorexic girl who talks too much and too quickly and never really had any friends. I will always be strange Cassie, no matter what I fucking do. And they say I should try to get better for my own sake... Hah!" She snorted loudly and scornfully. "Yeah, right, the thing is that I don't even care about myself, you know. And it's not so easy to just 'get better, get normal'. It's not so bloody easy as they try to make it out to be. So, why don't I end it? Why don't I?"
She had now turned to look at him, but she didn't seem to be really looking at him, and he realised the question wasn't aimed at him, but at herself. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she made no move to wipe them away and the cigarette between her fingers was shaking violently, dropping ash all over her skirt. She didn't seem to notice that, either.
He had never seen her like this before, and he felt ashamed for all the times he had done just like everyone else, laughed at and teased her behind her back. He wanted to make it up to her, but he wasn't sure how. He bit his lip and reached over to take the cigarette from her as she was just seconds from dropping it. She looked curiously at him, before blinking and seeming to snap out of whatever trance had made her open up to him like that all of sudden.
"Wow," she said, that dreamy tone she always spoke in back in her voice, "I'm sorry."
He didn't say anything, just put out the cigarette for her and then turned to face her again and before he knew what he was doing he reached out to place a light kiss to her lips. When he pulled away she was smiling, her sad eyes seeming to have lit up a bit with a new kind of light he had never seen before.
"I care, you know," he murmured in that slightly awkward way of his. "I'm... bad at showing it, but I do care."
"I like you, Sid," she said, words he had heard her say before, but never paid attention to, because he had been too busy fawning over Michelle.
Michelle, the girl of his dreams, the girl he deep inside knew he would never get. 'I love you Sid, like a brother.' He had heard those words all too many times, but Cassie, she liked him and not just like a brother. He'd been so blind, dreaming over someone he could never have instead of looking at what was right in front of him.
"I like you too, Cassie," he said, and this time he meant it. Truly meant it.
She smiled again, and he could soon feel her hand sneak into his, holding tightly. "Then there are these small things, small, but important things that makes it all worthwhile, you know. That makes all the pain and demons and sleepless nights worth it."
Her smile widened as she looked at him again. "You know?"
And he returned the smile with a nod. "Yeah, I know."
END