Defenders/Conquerors

1997

They bonded over their love of Supreme Domination and their combined hatred for do-gooders with messy hair, after Voldemort tried to kill him that is.

“Avada Kedavra!” said Voldemort.

“That tickles a bit,” said the Master, who fortunately never became too bothered when people tried to off him.

“I don’t understand!” Voldemort hissed. “Why isn’t this working? What magic do you possess?”

“I’m a Time Lord,” the Master laughed.

He was actually impressed. So there were humans who were able to channel psychic energy through sticks?

Voldemort wanted to take over the world and the Master wanted to help

He placed his hand on Voldemort’s shoulder, turning him to face the window. "You’ll take over the Earth, and then we’ll conquer the stars.” The Master smiled. “It’s going to be so good.”

Post Doomsday –pre Smith and Jones

The morning before Christmas was cold and windy. Harry Potter stood with his hands in his pockets in front of a holiday decorated shop window, eyeing a prominently displayed diamond ring.

It glittered at him. His ears and nose were stinging from the cold yet he couldn’t make himself go inside. A loud pop of gun fire split the air and Harry turned, his hand instinctively reaching for his wand.

A tall lanky man was running toward him, well not toward him, so much as away from strange men in Santa costumes. They raised their trombones at the man and –Harry, knowing without really knowing, shouted “Expulso!” just as the man knocked into him and the Santas exploded into metallic pieces.

“Every Christmas,” the man complained, still lying on top of a bewildered Harry and not paying attention to the people gawking at them and the smoldering bits of robots just a few feet away.

“You all right?” Harry asked, pushing the man off his body.

“Oh yes, fine.” the Doctor assured him, rising to his feet and extending his hand toward Harry. “I’m the Doctor by the way. Who are you?”

“Harry,” said Harry, trying to pull his hand out of the Doctor’s.

“Well Harry.” The Doctor squared his shoulders as the wind swept through his hair. It made him look rather heroic, Harry thought. “I suggest we run.”

“I have a better idea,” answered Harry, giving up on releasing his hand from the ridiculously tight hold the Doctor had on it. Obviously, this man wasn’t an ordinary muggle, so he Apparated them to somewhere safer and warmer where they could talk.

1997

The Master couldn’t remember dating someone who was so much fun. First there were the Muggle death raids, second there were the unfair and heinous trials of wizards who were not pure bloods, and third there were all the long conversations with Voldemort.

They were sitting in the near dark, listening to the soothing sounds of tortured screams from the basement. “The boy is hiding.” Voldemort explained to the Master as he watched him drain his sixth wine bottle.

“What do you think he’s planning?” asked the Master.

Voldermort lifted a large white hand and stroked Nagini. “I’m not sure, but knowing that Dumboldore was his mentor, I believe he thinks he can defeat me with love.”

The Master looked up from uncorking another wine bottle. Voldermort thought he saw concern flint across the Master’s handsome features, and then the Master started laughing a long evil laugh that Voldermort couldn’t help but join in.


****

“Yes I get it.” Harry remarked blandly. “Bigger on the inside.” The Doctor was not happy with how unimpressed Potter was with his magnificent ship. No one was ever unimpressed with his magnificent ship. Still he wouldn’t get offended and overreact to Potter’s blasé attitude.

“My friend Hermione has a purse that dose the same thing.”

“Does it travel in time and space?” yelled the Doctor who wasn’t overreacting at all.

Harry had Apparated them to Diagon Alley and sat them down in a booth at a café, where the Doctor explained his somewhat unbelievable story.

“Soooo,” Harry said. “Let me get this straight. “You’re an alien and those robots are sort of minions for a more powerful alien entity trying to take over the Earth?”

“You’re looking at me as if you don’t believe me.” The Doctor observed. “As if I just told you magic doesn’t just exist in fairytales.” The Doctor laughed, Harry scowled and waved for the bill.

“Maybe you could show me your ship?” Harry asked and then swiftly retracted his hand off the table when the Doctor reached for it again.


1997

Of course they fought over who would top, they were both megalomaniacs. It looked like it was going Voldemort’s way.

“Let me go this instant.” The Master warned in an unconvincing threat. “Or-

“Or you’ll do what exactly?” Voldemort purred seductively against his neck. The Master’s hands were tied behind his back in black silky ropes; his knees were bent in a wide stance on the bed.

“I oh-” The Master sighed as Voldemort slipped a slick finger inside him.

“I’ll think of something later.”

****

Just when it seemed like they were out of hope and they were sure to die and the Earth was hanging on a thread of impending doom, the Doctor and Harry both had mutual epiphanies that saved the planet-later that same evening they had more than just mutual epiphanies.

“You’re very good at this,” the Doctor said, nuzzling Harry’s hair. Harry was on his side and the Doctor was spooning him from behind.

“Which part?” Harry asked.

Harry’s bum felt warm and squishy and he wondered how long the appropriate amount of time for post coital alien cuddling was.


“All of it. Why don’t you stay with me and I’ll show you the Universe and we can save other planets, not just Earth and-“

Well, that answered that question. Harry jumped out of bed and immediately began to look for his trousers.

“Listen, Doctor.” Harry soothed when he saw the hurt look on the Doctor’s face.

“You’re a great bloke really, but I’ve just had enough excitement for one life time.” He pulled his jumper and jacket on quickly. “Come by and visit sometime.” He smiled and was gone with a loud pop.


Slightly bereft, the Doctor rolled onto his back and breathed a deep sigh. Too much too soon, the Doctor thought to himself. Next time he wanted someone to come with him he would use reverse psychology, tell them he was only bringing them along for one trip, absolutely ignore any sexual interest they might have in him. Ohhh, and make them feel second best to Rose, yes, definitely the best course of action to take with the next companion.

1997

The Master was not confused about how much time to spend post coital alien snuggling; however he was too sore to move off the bed. He was going to have to kill Voldemort although-maybe tearing out what was left of his shattered soul would be better.

He sensed Voldemort’s feelings of fondness growing for him. All he would really need to do to exploit that weakness was leave him; the only problem was where would he go?

He had escaped the Doctor by stopping his hearts and playing dead, using his vortex manipulator when the smoke from the funeral pyre could hide his escape. The only problem was that he landed in 1997, smashing it beyond the repair of his laser screwdriver and leaving him stuck with this snake man.

“Something wrong, darling?” Voldemort asked with a smug undertone.

The thought of peeling off Voldemort’s skin layer by layer danced in his head.

He kissed the Master’s neck, and the Master groaned despite himself, turning his head when lips became teeth, and then the most miraculous thing caught The Master’s eye. A long golden chain with an hour glass hanging from the end was draped over a lamp; the light caught in the grains of sand and winked at him. Could it be what he thought? How could he have missed it before?

Excitement fluttered in the Master’s chest. He put a firm hand behind Voldemort’s neck and guided him into a deep kiss. He let Voldemort dominate his mouth while his other hand relieved the chain from its post.

“You please Lord Voldemort.”

The Master wanted to hit him repeatedly, but instead he smiled and said “Of course I do.”

He swung his legs off the bed recovering his trousers from the floor. Once his jumper was on he sat back on the edge of the bed.

“What’s this?” he asked letting the chain slip down just a bit. The Master kept his voice casual as if the necklace in his hand was just a passing curiosity and not a means to escape.

The Master would have been disappointed if Voldemort didn’t react as fast as he did. Red jets of light and black ropes exploded from the tip of the wizard’s wand, but the Master was already slipping into the space-time continuum.

“No” Voldemort screamed with venomous anger, and the Master laughed, hoping that Voldemort would never be able to trust again.

Happy Holidays