A Dish Best Served Red Hot

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Jayne digs through the foot locker he stows under his bed, on the hunt for one of his favorite shirts that has gone missing. “Where’n the ‘verse is it?” he mutters, heaving aside carefully pressed counterfeit stock and stacks of girly magazines in his search before bellowing over his shoulder. “Kaylee? You seen my shirt?”

“Told ya a million times, wenshen. Ya probably jus’ put it out with the trash, accidental-like,” Kaylee chirps back from where she’s brushing her teeth in front of the chipped mirror carefully balanced on the back of the sink.

Out with the trash? Jayne frowns at this implication of negligence on his part. He’s had too little in his life to even think about spacing so much as a single thread of his belongings. “Naw, that ain’t possible.”

“If’n it were an accident, it could be possible,” she continues. “Shepherd says miracles happen all th’ time.”

Jayne’s starting to get a pretty good idea where that shirt is, and he doesn’t like the notion at all. “So, you’re sayin’ my shirt just miracled itself right on out into the Black?”

“Might have,” Kaylee says airily.

He presses his lips together and nearly suffers an aneurysm trying not to bellow at her. “An’ was this miraclin’ helped along by someone who looked a li’l like your own self?”

“Don’ know why you’re so het up ‘bout it, ai ren. That shirt weren’t good for nothin’ but wipin’ the captain’s-”

“Gorram it, Kaylee! That was my shirt ya just tossed out without even askin’ if’n such a thing were kosherized,” Jayne gasps, still trying his hardest not to yell. The last time he did, she locked him out of the bunk for a week and out of her panties for another five days after that.

She just shrugs at him and turns back to the sink.

Defeated, Jayne goes up the ladder and out to the cargo bay to work off his temper on his weight bench. It seems as if Kaylee’s becoming too comfortable around him and it’s not as if he even minds that, but her attitude has been bordering on outright disrespect lately. Jayne loves a woman with some sass to her, but too much really is too much. This is only the latest incident; he’s caught her rearranging the food lockers and tossing out cans of things he’s been saving for special occasions…and then there was the time when Kaylee used one of his guns to brace open the engine housing when she knew she should have asked first. The fact that he’d have still told her ‘no’ isn’t even important. The main thing that angers him the most about it was that she never even seems to think that it actually matters to him, as if he’d go along with whatever she wanted with no questions asked.

He shoves the heavy weights up and down, hoping the burn in his arms will somehow cool the fire of his anger. His mother always told him to be respectful and not to ‘kick up a fuss’ when he found a woman he loved – and he does indeed love her. There can never be any mistake about that… but Jayne just doesn’t understand why he has to sit there and take it.

It ain’t right, he thinks. Up, down. Oughtta teach that girl a lesson she won’t never forget to the end of her days in the ‘verse. Up, down. Can’t even tell her how ruttin’ mad it makes me, ‘cause then she’ll say I ain’t allowed to sex her up ‘til she says so. Up, down. I bet no one’s ever said she can’t get nothin’ if she ain’t actin’ right. Up....

The weights fall back into their cradle with a loud crash, and he’s up and moving purposefully towards the bunk he shares with Serenity’s mechanic. It’s almost disappointing to find that she’s left already, but that’s just as well… Jayne wants this to go just right, now that he’s thought of something to cut her back down to size. Finding several of the items he needs, he stashes them in a place easily accessible from atop the mattress and goes off in search for the other articles he’ll need. “Oh, little girl…you don’t know jus’ who you’re messin’ with,” he tells the misshapen stuffed bear that’s been given pride of place on the shelf right above their pillows.

A quick side-trip into Inara’s shuttle while the Companion is trailing after Mal to harass him into landing on the nearest transfer point makes his pockets a bit heavier, and a final trip into the galley secures the rest of the essential items that he needs for revenge. Back in the bunk, Jayne is busily stowing his newest acquisitions and suffering a mild attack of remorse. Maybe we jus’ need to talk it out – she might not get too pissed this time. No need to… Jayne’s thoughts trail off as he catches sight of his pinup collection; if he were in a Cortex cartoon program, his eyes would pop right out of his head. Each of the girls he’s carefully selected from his favorite magazines and pasted above his bunk – beautiful, buxom women with no thoughts of sass anywhere in their pretty little heads – now have panties and bras drawn over their nudity. His mouth drops open slowly as he scans the newly-clothed women, searching in vain for one that might have escaped the censorious black marker that only Kaylee would have used, and Jayne squints at one suddenly. “Gorrammit to hell’n’back, Nancy’s got a ruttin’ moustache?” He gives voice to several obscenities, pacing back and forth in the small space like a panther in a cage. Any remaining uncertainty over the plan has been swept away as surely as if it had been positioned right behind Serenity’s turbines with Wash going for full burn. Oh, she’ll pay ten times over.

Dinner seems to take forever, and even having River stare across the table at him doesn’t dissuade him from his plan. Gorram moonbrain. When Kaylee leans against his arm, Jayne nearly gives in but the image of Nancy with that curly moustache stiffens his resolve. Nope, ain’t givin’ in. She’s gonna pay an’ it’ll be the sweetest haul I ever got. “You’re pretty quiet, wenshen. Somethin’ on your mind?”

“Don’t worry too much ‘bout it,” he assures her. “Show ya later.”

“You mean, tell me later?”

Jayne smirks. “That, too.”

“Sexual revenge is a dish best served red hot,” intones River, and the rest of them stop to look at her.

“Speakin’ of dishes, ain’t it your turn to clean up, Crazy?” Jayne demands. This is meant to be a surprise, and he doesn’t need her blabbing it out to everyone aboard. Simon glares at him like he always does at the merest hint of rudeness to his sister but River just smiles at him before rising from her seat to glide into the kitchen. Eerie ass girl don’t know when to keep her mouth shut.

As he waits for Kaylee to finally announce that it’s time to turn in, Jayne has to force himself to be patient and not give her any clue of what he has planned for her down in their bunk. Soon enough he’s following her tiny form down the corridor and insists upon being first down the ladder, giving her the excuse that he’s left some ammo on the floor and wouldn’t want her to trip over it. As soon as his boots hit the bunk floor, Jayne waits just long enough for her legs to appear and snatches her from the ladder while she yelps in surprise. “Jayne, what’re you doin’?”

Jayne slams the bunk hatch and locks it, then carries his squirming armful over to the bed and drops her onto it. “I’m doin’ what I oughtta a ways back, that’s what I’m doin’.” Kaylee gives him a sultry smile and leans back, obviously thinking he’s initiating lovemaking. Her gasp of surprise makes him grin when he slides a hand under the pillows and brings out three of the silk scarves he’s filched from Inara’s shuttle, then wraps one hand around both her wrists as he ties her up.

“What the- Jayne! Jayne Austin Cobb, you untie me right this minute! You hear me, Jayne? Jayne!” Kaylee shrieks, kicking out hard as he goes for her ankles.

His eyes narrow as he binds her ankles apart. “There’s things you need to learn, li’l Kaylee… and we got all night for you to learn ‘em.” Settling himself between her spread legs, Jayne reaches for Binky and watches her eyes widen. “Now, you know I ain’t gonna hurt you, girl – couldn’t even if’n I wanted to. But you been mighty headstrong lately an’ it’s time you learned who’s boss.”

The mechanic wriggles against her bonds, her face pink with anger and frustration at not being able to get loose. “You better get ready to pack up an’ head across the hall ‘cause that’s where you’ll be sleepin’ for a year, Jayne Cobb!”

Jayne leans forward with the knife and slides the tip of it between the buttons of her coverall. “Now, see? That’s just one a’ the things you gotta learn about. It ain’t too nice to threaten to leave a man high an’ dry like you been doin’. I’m thinkin’ it’s time for you to learn how that feels, dong ma?” With small flicks of his wrist, the buttons begin to pop off and Kaylee draws breath for more threats that are quelled by one of his glares. “You’ve had all the time in the ‘verse to talk at me, Kaywinnit Lee – now you’re gonna listen to what I got to say…” Binky is laid down and he leans forward to pull another scarf from hiding. “Think you’ll listen best if’n I just stop that pretty li’l mouth of your’n from talkin’ all together.”

Her brown eyes glare hurt and betrayal at him as he gags her, but Jayne does it as gently as he can – he wouldn’t hurt her for anything. “Mmmph,” Kaylee scolds him, eyebrows scrunched up as her body strains to test her bonds.

Those eyes go wider than dinner plates when Jayne resumes opening her coverall and instead of easing it from her limbs, simply starts slicing the fabric as if he’s peeling an apple. “Now, if’n I just come out an’ say my piece it’ll go in one pretty li’l ear an’ right straight out t’other…which is why you an’ me is gonna have to have this out in another way all together.” Jayne sets Binky aside and reaches to trail the callused pads of his fingers down her neck, past the pink flowered bra to trace along the soft skin of her belly right above the flimsy excuse for panties that she’s wearing.

Kaylee begins to pant around her gag and twists against her bonds. “Naw, said you was gonna listen first,” Jayne purrs, slipping a finger under the silk to brush teasingly against her curls. “Ain’t right, the way you been actin’. Now, Tien knows I love a woman with some fire in her but you’re thinkin’ you can just treat me any old way. That’s gonna change right now, dong ma?”

His tone changes as he settles himself over her, blue eyes studying the sheen of perspiration on her face. “I liked that shirt. Wonder what you’d say if’n I took a blade to that fancy shindig dress of your’n. You wouldn’t like it, now would ya?”

She shakes her head back and forth frantically. “Mmmph-mmm!”

“Maybe the girls need some new rags t’ get cleaned with,” Jayne isn’t above resorting to threats, and it’s just as well Kaylee’s not in the mood to really think about things calmly because she’d realize that he’d never do such a thing because he knows exactly how much that dress means to her.

“Mmmmmmph!”

The fright in her eyes nearly makes him relent and take her into his arms. Gorrammit, she’s turned me softer’n that stuffed bear she’s got over there. Kaylee shifts once more, breathing hard around the silk gag, and Jayne has to admit that the sight of her trussed up and nearly nude form is a rather inspiring one. One thing sure ain’t soft, though, he thinks lewdly and stops from touching her for just a little while longer to prolong the anticipation that makes his cock swell. Moving back enough so that she can see the state he’s in puts any fright over the fate of her party dress right out of the petite mechanic’s mind. Jayne drops from the mattress, down to the bunk floor as he unlaces his boots and strips his shirt off. He keeps his cargo pants on and moves back to crouch between Kaylee’s widely spread ankles.

Kaylee begins to pant harder as Jayne reaches a hand down to palm his crotch, kneading and pulling at the generous bulge that presses firmly against the zipper. “You want this?” he growls softly, leisurely working at the opening of his pants and easing his shaft free so that it strains towards her. Maybe when she’s learned her lesson he can remove the gag so Jayne can feel that sweet, hot little mouth on his diao. He starts breathing faster and rubs one of his hands over his stomach, then up through the salt and pepper hair that covers his broad, powerful chest. Oh, I’m’a have me a time tonight.

He balances with practiced ease on one arm and strips off his pants, reaching for Binky once more. Kaylee wriggles as Jayne slides the knife carefully between her breasts to slice through the fabric of her bra before moving the flat of the blade to rub against her left nipple. The cool metal makes it pebble instantly, and he leans over her to blow a puff of hot air to counterbalance warmth with the cold steel of the knife. Transferring the blade to her other breast, Jayne repeats the process and wedges Binky down by Kaylee’s hip while he leans forward to draw a nipple into his mouth and suck slowly, closing his teeth around the sensitive flesh in just the way she likes.

Jayne grins at the sound of Kaylee’s muffled cries and moves up her body to place his knees on either side of her waist, lowering himself just enough to rub his jiba over her sweat-slickened skin and shoving a hand down to hold his cock up against his body, sliding his palm so that it thumps on her belly. “Oh, you gotta wait still, bao bei. School ain’t out yet.” He stares down, enjoying the sight and feel of his John Thomas rubbing against her, and moves up slightly to palm her breasts and press them together so he can thrust into the warm hollow between them.

A rumble of pleasure starts in his chest as he watches his erect length slide between her breasts and Jayne dips the fingertips of his right hand into the hollow at the base of Kaylee’s throat to gather the sweat pooled there, rubbing the moisture into the crown of his cock.

He figures it’s time to really get down to business, and moves back between her legs to grab up Binky and the fifth scarf he stole from Inara. “That shirt was near enough to make me turn you over my knee, girl… you mighta got off the hook if’n it were just that.” Jayne ties a knot in the middle of the elegant crimson gauze and makes a show of holding Binky up where Kaylee can’t help but see, tapping a finger on the flat edge. “But you had ta get all artistic with that ruttin’ pen you said was for labelin’ stuff in the engine room. Toldja time an’ again that they was here afore you even came down here the first time but point is, t’ain’t your’n to be messin’ with.”

Her panties are sliced off next, and the flat edge of the knife is pressed against the hard kernel of her clitoris as Kaylee begins to make more noise from behind the sodden silk of her gag. Jayne likes to hear her because she’s so vocal in her enjoyment of him, and he wonders if he should remove it. Maybe later – gotta make her holler for a while yet. Bending down, Jayne runs his tongue over her folds before spitting to lube her up enough for the knife to do its job. He rubs the metal against her most sensitive parts carefully, his hand closed over the serrated edge so that if anyone gets cut accidentally, it certainly won’t be her. When Kaylee’s hips are pumping up frantically and her shrieks are heralding her approaching orgasm, Jayne takes the knife away and sits back on his heels to stroke himself while she cools off.

Kaylee’s eyes are fixed on him pleadingly as he licks the blade clean, and he can’t help the slightly mean grin that snakes its way across his face. “Now’s when we get ta the part where you been tellin’ me I can’t get sexed for weeks if’n you’re mad.”

Her head flops back on the pillows and a muted scream of utter frustration from behind the silk scarf makes him laugh aloud.

After she’s had ample time to calm down, Jayne begins to stroke her back into her previous state of abandon and picks up the knotted scarf. He’ll have to buy Inara new scarves after this…unless there’s a chance she won’t notice that they’re gone. No need spendin’ coin if’n I don’t hafta. Stuffing a pillow beneath Kaylee’s bottom - and giving said bottom an affectionate spank – Jayne holds one end of the scarf down by the pillow and stretches it over her ni yin, holding the other end up by her quivering belly.

With another rude grin at the mechanic’s whimpers, Jayne begins sliding the scarf back and forth so that the hard knot rubs over her with just enough friction to turn the rhythmic whines into full-fledged howls as he works her into a frenzy. “Oh, almost forgot somethin’.” Jayne lifts the sodden scarf from between her legs, passing it beneath his nose so he can inhale the sweet scent of his Kaylee. “That food you was throwin’ out…”

Kaylee’s irate gargle nearly makes him start laughing again as he palms his balls to soothe the ache in them that getting her all riled up has produced.

“I take that gag off, you gonna get mouthy?”

She shakes her head from side to side vigorously, tears spilling out of those chocolate brown eyes. “Nnnnnn-mmmph,” Kaylee promises.

Jayne moves back up over her, minded to have a last bit of fun before he quits punishing the girl for things he already knows she’s sorry for. “Zhi shi xing, ai ren,” he murmurs as he removes her gag, stroking a gentle thumb over the tracks of her tears. “Chuo wuo, bao bei.” He reaches back to slide a finger inside her, and Kaylee twists beneath him with an open-mouthed moan before she raises her head to take him past her lips.

He groans at the exquisite feel of her mouth on him, suckling him frantically as he pumps his finger in and out of her swollen entrance. Jesu, but this is the only gag my sweet li’l Kaylee ever ruttin’ needs. “Chuo ta, shi…!”

Jayne pulls out to kneel between her legs quickly to lap at her honey-sweet ji bai, holding her firmly to his mouth as he rasps his tongue over her swollen nub. “Jayne,” Kaylee screams, plainly thinking he’ll leave her unsatisfied again.

“Come for me, xin gan,” Jayne growls – for as soon as she does, he’s planning on getting his. Kaylee’s ear-piercing shriek can most likely be heard in all parts of the ship as he brings her off with his mouth, holding her bucking form down against the pillow as he draws several more shudders from her before he figures that it’s his turn. Jayne’s up on his knees in seconds, grunting as he buries his cock inside her in one powerful thrust. It only takes five more before he spills into her, bellowing out his release in a final shove that causes the scarves holding Kaylee’s ankles apart to rip into useless rags.

He gasps out her name, feeling her legs sliding around his hips right about the same time as it registers somewhere in his brain that she’s crying again and he shifts off of her immediately, cutting through the scarf that binds her wrists.

“Aw, Kaylee honey, I didn’t mean…”

Kaylee looks up at him through tear-bright brown eyes, sniffling as she sits up. “I guess I been a real brat to ya, Jayne.” Her sentence ends in a sob, and her entire body quivers with the effort of keeping a second one locked inside.

“Didn’t mean to hurt ya.” Jayne bites his lip, not really knowing what to say now. “I’s just powerful mad, is all.” Handing her a rag that’s none too clean due to the grease smeared on one edge, he watches as she blows her nose loudly and wipes her eyes. He’d just meant to teach her a lesson, not to make her cry like this. “You gonna…you gonna leave me ‘cause I was mean?” Jayne blurts out.

The little mechanic stops mid-sniffle to stare at him. “I thought you was gonna send me back to my bunk for good.”

“Why in the ‘verse would I do that?” He’s genuinely puzzled. “Just wanted to get ya to listen to me…got a bit carried away though.”

The tearful smile that breaks across her face is like Mal telling him he can bring as many grenades as he wants. Not that it’s ever happened, but a merc can hope. Kaylee flings herself into his arms, burrowing close. “’M sorry, ai ren,” she snuffles against his chest.

Jayne holds her tightly, stroking her sweat-drenched hair. “I know y’are, baby. I won’t never tie you up like that again.”

Kaylee pulls back with the most shocked expression he’s ever seen on another person’s face. “What, never?”


~fin~
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