Three Weeks

AN: Another post-LD fic. I was a little unsure about the tone of the story. I wanted the emotion to be frenetic and I hope I succeeded instead of just making it seem terribly schizophrenic. As always, reviews are welcome and appreciated.

Three Weeks


He treated her like she was fragile. She knew she wasn’t, she was strong. After all, she’d survived, hadn’t she? But sometimes when she looked at him, she wondered if he had realized it. That she's strong.

Her pain medicine and antibiotics were laid out in a pill container that had spaces for every day of the week. He’d picked it up along with her prescriptions, wanting to make everything easier for her. She knew he was trying to be helpful, but wondered when he would let her do things for herself again. She reminded herself it hadn’t been that long since she’d been in the hospital.

When she showered, she knew he was right outside the door. She was pretty sure she could get his earprint if she tried. As soon as the water turned off, he was in the room, appearing like a ghost in the steam. He handed her a towel and pretty much just watched her dry herself, quickly offering his help if he saw her wince. Before Natalie (or ‘BN’ and ‘AN’ as Sara had begun to think of her time with Grissom) he would occasionally watch her dry off after her shower but it was usually because he had either been in the shower with her or was moments away from wrapping his arms around her and taking her to bed. Now it was because he was watching her for signs of danger, making sure nothing happened to her while she was vulnerable. He thought she was always vulnerable.

She didn’t know how to broach the subject. When he brought her breakfast in bed, she joked about having her own butler. He only smiled gently and asked what kind of jam she wanted. When he always jumped up, ready to go with her when she walked the dog, she would tell him she knew he was tired and she could walk the dog herself. He would say he needed the exercise and go get the leash, whistling out to attract the dog’s attention.

She hated that it frustrated her because she knew everything he did was because he loved her. The first night after Natalie, or 1 AN, when she had been unable to really speak or move because of the pain medications she was receiving by an IV, he had sat next to her bed and whispered to her. He never mentioned the conversation and Sara had reason to believe he had thought she was asleep. He had told her how frightened he was and how he would protect her from now on and make sure she was always ok. He had held her hand against his lips and whispered over and over again how sorry he was. She tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault and not to berate himself, but could only make a small noise before falling back to sleep. She didn’t know if she should talk to him about what she heard. Even though he had been talking to her, it seemed private, an invasion of the privacy he valued.

* * *

It continued, one week AN, two weeks AN, and nothing was changing. He refused to discuss her returning to work, insisting they both had so much vacation time built up she shouldn’t even worry about the job. She didn’t tell him she wanted to go back, wanted the normalcy.

She would kiss him. Sitting on the couch, she would loop an arm around his neck and pull him in. He would respond and then it was as if she could track the changes in his thinking. His kiss would gradually lessen and then he would pull back, smile, and give her a non-sexual hug or kiss. The first moments of the kiss took him by surprise and his mind was full of thoughts of Sara as she used to be before Natalie. Then he would start to remember and his kiss became chaste. Sara worried that maybe he was no longer attracted to her. But then she caught sight of his face in the bathroom mirror. He hadn’t realized she could see him and she saw the way he was looking at her body, the obvious hunger in his eyes, and felt relief that it wasn’t a matter of lack of attraction. It gave her hope that she could fix things.

* * *

Three weeks AN. She was feeling pretty good. Her soreness had largely disappeared and at her last doctor’s appointment, her doctor had actually grinned when he heard about her progress. She wasn’t 100%, but if she had to put a number on herself, it would be at least 90.

She told him about the doctor while they were getting ready for bed. “That’s great. Really great. When’s your next appointment?” he said after rinsing the toothpaste out of his mouth.

“Two weeks. Pretty sure he’ll clear me to get back to work.”

She noticed the subtle change in his smile. “There’s no rush. I’m rather enjoying being away from the office. I like it.”

“I don’t,” she murmured.

He came up and wrapped his arms around her. “We’ll see what the doctor says in two weeks,” he said quietly, ending the discussion, and then kissed her hair. He released her and turned to walk to the bedroom.

She looked at herself in the mirror and took a deep breath. “It’s the right time,” she told her reflection. She gave herself a nod and turned to walk confidently into their bedroom.

Grissom was just climbing into bed, the room lit by the lamps on each nightstand. He sighed and pushed his pillows around, making himself comfortable. He looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes, waiting for Sara.

She watched him for just a moment and then walked silently to the side of the bed. With one more deep breath, she grabbed hold of the bedding and flipped it off of Grissom, leaving him open to her gaze, wearing only his boxer shorts.

His eyes opened wide. “Sara? I didn’t even hear you come in.”

She climbed onto the bed and straddled his hips, looking down at the surprised look on his face. She bent and kissed him hard, then sat up and raised an eyebrow.

“What are you doing?” Grissom asked and Sara didn’t miss the note of fear in his voice.

“You’ve forgotten already?” Sara smirked, bending again to kiss his shoulder and then chest.

“Sara,” Grissom began, realizing her intentions and he began to try to move, clearly uncomfortable.

“Shut up,” she snapped before she had time to think. “Let me do this. I want this. Please. I want you Gil. Please.”

He shook his head and opened his mouth but no words came out. He lifted his head when her weight suddenly left him and he saw her lifting herself, making it possible for her to grab his shorts and push them down. She scooted back, straddling his shins.

“No, you can’t,” he said in a strangled voice, ashamed of the swiftness and intensity of his erection, the head of his cock already weeping fluid.

“Yes, I can. Let me. Just let me,” she replied, her voice tight with excitement. It pained her, the sound of his voice protesting an action she knew he loved. She pushed the questions out of her mind and lowered her head.

The taste of his cock, the heat and heaviness of it, always thrilled her. She’d never really been fond of the act, probably because it made her feel vulnerable, somehow ‘less than,’ but he had changed that. With him she felt in control, powerful, and most of all, loved. She knew it was strange that she felt oddly beloved when she had him in her mouth, but she’d learned to accept it. She’d realized it was different with him, with who she was when she was with him, with who he was when they were together. She’d asked him once if he felt it, the same kind of love and happiness, when he was between her thighs, pressing his tongue into her. He’d paused and looked up at her. “It’s perfect. Everything,” he’d said and then returned to his pleasure. “Perfect,” she had repeated to herself and then he did something that caused her to forget what she’d asked him in the first place.

He was moving his hips now, a desperate attempt to get away and continue at the same time. She sucked hard, pushing her lips down as far as she could, wishing she could go farther.

“Sara, no, oh god yes there, no, please more,” he babbled.

She pulled off of him for just a moment, using her hand to replace her mouth and steeling herself. “Do you want me to stop?” she demanded. He looked at her, helpless to answer. “Because I’m not going to. I’m not going to stop until you come. ‘Til I make you.”

With that pronouncement, she took him in her mouth again, wrapping her lips firmly around the head and suckling, using her fist to pump his shaft ruthlessly. She heard her name being repeated, the tone a mixture of arousal, fear, and warning.

And then he tensed. His hips paused, he inhaled a sharp breath, and a moment later he was pouring into Sara’s mouth. There were thick pulses and Sara swallowed quickly, aware of his body trembling and the deep growls emanating from his throat. When she was sure he was through she released him.

He was looking up at the ceiling, not at her, and she took the time to clean him. Her tongue licked along his length and she finished by swirling it around the head, causing an involuntary thrust and another groan from him. Finally, hoping she had given him enough time, she placed loving kisses along the shaft and then rose up, moving herself back up his body to straddle his hips.

Her smile was triumphant and smug, but it disappeared when she saw Grissom’s face. “Gil?” she whispered.

His eyes opened and she saw that they were shiny with unshed tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said.

She immediately put her hands on each side of his face, draping her body over his. “What’s wrong? You have nothing to be sorry about.”

His tears fell and Sara felt her own emotions beginning to swell just looking at him. “I’m sorry, Sara. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,” he repeated.

“For what?” she asked, using her thumbs to wipe away his tears.

He just shook his head and kept his eyes on hers. “I’m sorry,” he managed to choke out again before releasing a shuddery sob.

Sara felt her own tears fall and started to place kisses on his forehead and cheeks and one hand continued to wipe away his tears while the other found its way into his hair, smoothing back the damp curls. “Gil, talk to me. Please. It’s ok, it’s ok.”

He shook his head again and started to try to turn away, but Sara put her hands firmly on each side of his face. “Talk to me,” she said forcefully.

“I’m sorry. I should have known. I could have stopped it. When she sent it directly to me, I should have known, but I wasn’t thinking. I was intrigued by the puzzle, I wasn’t thinking. I put you in danger.”

“No, no. You couldn’t have known,” Sara said, pressing a kiss against his temple.

“I should have. After Nick, after Jim, I should have been more aware. And I shouldn’t have left. If I’d stayed I’d have been able to work on that mini. Maybe I would’ve found something. If I’d taken the time to think I would have realized…”

“And done what? Our jobs have risks and we know that going in. We…”

“Our jobs have the risk of us being hurt at a scene, not deliberately targeted. We’re not in the public eye. We don’t have to accept those risks. I don’t accept that.”

Sara paused, trying to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind that could soothe him.

He swallowed hard and began to speak in a low, calm voice. “When you told me about your father, I promised myself that I would always protect you. Not coddle you, but just protect you. And then, when I let myself…let myself show you my feelings that night and we…I watched you sleep and you looked so beautiful, like always, and it just made my heart hurt to think of you being scared or hurt and I felt relieved that now I could be with you and you could take care of me and I could take care of you.”

“You do take care of me,” she protested.

“No. No, if it weren’t for me you would’ve been safe. It’s because of me you were taken and nearly died! If I just hadn’t let myself…” he said, pausing then.

“Let yourself what? Love me? Do you regret that?” Sara said, pulling away from him.

“No!” he said, putting his hands on her back, preventing her from moving. “I don’t regret anything about our relationship Sara and if you had…if something had happened and I hadn’t told you I loved you, well, I just can’t even imagine that. It would devastate me.”

“I know you love me. And I love you. And I’m here, Griss. I’m here and I’m healthy, but I don’t think you realize that.”

“But you had to go through that because of me. Because I love you. My love hurt you and…”

She cut him off with a hard kiss, tightly closing her eyes, but not able to stop the tears from leaking.

“Listen to me. Listen!” she said when he turned his face away. He reluctantly looked up at her and she saw his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “Your love didn’t hurt me. It kept me alive. Gil, I thought about you the whole time and knew I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. And I knew that if there was anything, God or a spirit or, or anything at all, I knew they wouldn’t let me die because I still needed you. And I wouldn’t let myself die because I needed you and I still do. It’s because of you I’m still here. I promise you that your love has never hurt me.”

She kissed his cheek and nose, moving on to his lips where they shared reassuring kisses, trying to calm the fear in each of them. “I love you and I’m still here. I’m real.”

He returned her kisses and held her tightly against him. They rolled to their sides so they could face each other and twine their legs. Sara stroked the side of his face, continuing to kiss him to let him know she was there. She was safe.

“I thought you must be so scared, not knowing where you were or if we would find you,” he said in a husky voice.

“I knew you would find me,” she quickly replied.

“Alive?”

She swallowed hard. “I only went there for a minute. Then I told myself that everyone on the team is so good at what they do…and I knew I had a genius looking for me. He’d be able to figure it out,” she said this with a small smile that faded away.

“I don’t know how you can act so…so nonchalant about the whole thing. I worry that maybe you’re blocking things now and then in a few months you’ll realize what happened and I’ll lose you again.”

“I know. I actually worry about that too. I think, ‘shouldn’t I be having a breakdown or something?’ but I don’t know. I don’t feel it. I feel happy most of the time. Relieved, maybe. But I got the name of a counselor. I’m going to go. But you’ll never lose me. I promise.”

“You didn’t tell me about the counselor,” he said.

“I know. I didn’t decide I was going to go until just now. A part of me wants to move on and forget about it, but I know I can’t. I need to talk about it.”

“You can talk to me.”

She smiled. “I need a professional, someone impartial. I need to talk to…hmm, to someone I don’t enjoy seeing naked.”

He chuckled at that and she felt some relief.

“Speaking of which,” he said and motioned towards her. She was still wearing her panties and a form-fitting tank-top, her usual sleepwear.

She felt a warmth in her chest at his soft words. His tone was sweetly playful, a tone she hadn’t heard for three weeks.

“Well, I suppose it’s only fair,” she said and moved out of his arms to sit up. She quickly pulled off her top and then laid back down to shimmy out of her panties. “Better?”

“Better,” he agreed and his hand came up to rest on her cheek. His thumb brushed along her cheekbone. “You’re here.”

She put her hand on top of his. “I’m here,” she whispered.

His fingertips moved down to her collarbone. Sara had always loved the feeling of his light touch on her skin. “You’re safe,” he said.

“I’m safe,” she agreed.

His touch moved down her arm, then dipped down to her stomach. She inhaled a bit, not wanting to laugh even though he was touching her most ticklish spot.

“And you love me,” he said, watching his hand.

“And I love you. So much.”

“Too much?” he teased, but with the smallest touch of fear in his voice.

“It can never be too much,” and with that declaration she caught his hand and held it to her chest, nestled between her breasts.

“When I thought about you out there and what would happen to me if you weren’t alive…I wondered if I love you too much. If maybe it’s wrong to love someone like that, so completely that you don’t want to live if they’re not with you.”

She squeezed his hand. “What did you decide?”

“That I need to stop overanalyzing things,” he smiled and met her eyes, “and that I can’t change how I feel even if it scares me some times.”

She smiled back, pleased at his honesty. She’d had similar thoughts, waking up next to him and seeing his sleeping face created such an intense feeling of love in her that it almost frightened her. Almost.

He broke into her thoughts. “I love you Sara. More than anything and I want you to know that, to really know it. I’m not saying it as a reflex or because I think you want to hear it. I really mean it. I’ve never meant anything more.”

She kissed him then and cut off his words. “Show me then,” she said, moving his hand to her breast. “I want to feel it.”

He hesitated for just a moment, but then his thumb brushed against her nipple and Sara knew she had him. A quiet moan of encouragement left her and he responded my moving his lips to her neck.

“How should I show you?” he asked, pausing just long enough to ask the questions. Sara squeezed her thighs together as soon as she heard the growl in his voice. One night, not long after they had started sleeping together, Sara had growled a combination of requests and demands using words she rarely spoke. Grissom had paused, buried deep within her, and looked at her with fire in his eyes. He’d responded with words of his own and Sara had one of the best orgasms of her life. Both of them had realized that to hear the other vocalize how things felt and tasted was an immense turn-on.

“That’s up to you,” she said with a soft laugh.

He moved up to capture her lips with his own and she put her hands on his neck. They kissed for a long while, both glad to have this aspect of their relationship back. The conversation, though brief, had eased a part of Grissom’s mind.

When he went to kiss her neck again, she kept her hands on his neck so he would look at her. “I missed you. This,” she said.

“So did I, but I never knew what to do. You’re still healing,” he said softly and kissed her throat. Then he moved back to her lips.

“Believe me, this helps me heal,” she grinned. He smiled back and then she felt his hand stealing down her body, down to her hip. “What did you miss most about me?”

He smirked then, a knowing look in his eye as he let his hand lightly hover over the apex of her thighs. “Well, I missed this little spot behind your ear,” he said, pecking it. “And this little hollow of your throat…And your sweet, sweet pussy.”

Sara shuddered at his words and closed her eyes. “Do you want me to kiss it Sara? Would that feel good, my lips on you?”

“God yes. I’m already so wet,” she confessed.

Grissom growled a little and attempted to maintain his cool. “Are you?” he asked in a voice that belied the calm hand still hovering between her legs.

She bit her lip, hiding her smile, and placed her hand on top of his. She pushed down so his palm was firmly against her. “I always get wet when I suck your cock. Didn’t you know that? It turns me on having that big dick in my mouth.”

“Jesus,” Grissom said under his breath and kissed her hard. Then he moved quickly down her body, kissing her chest, stomach, and hip. Before he could settle between her legs, Sara pushed herself up and made use of the many pillows on the bed. She quickly put them behind her so that she was propped up a bit, at a better angle to watch the proceedings. Grissom laid between her legs and Sara brought them up so that they were over his shoulders. His hands were now able to hold on to her hips, which was necessary to keep her in place, a lesson he had learned long ago.

“You weren’t exaggerating,” he said and then closed his eyes and ran his tongue up through her cleft.

She groaned, a needy and demanding sound. “Don’t tease me. Not now,” she said, putting a hand in his hair, tugging a bit so he would look at her. He looked at her for a moment, a challenge in his eyes, but when he saw the seriousness of her expression, he dipped his chin.

“No teasing,” he agreed. He softly kissed her before gently spreading her with his tongue. Sara closed her eyes, stroking his hair and wondered why she felt like crying at this moment. She felt his tongue lightly exploring and when she opened her eyes again she looked down, only to find him looking back up at her, his mouth still on her, caring only about her pleasure, and there was such a look in his eyes. A look she’d never seen before, a combination of lust and love and before she knew it, tears were spilling out of her eyes again. Grissom didn’t stop. Somehow he knew that they weren’t tears of sadness and he simply closed his eyes and sought out her clit. It was swollen and he flicked his tongue against it before suckling it between his lips.

Sara cried out, the tears still coming, flowing down her cheeks even as her mouth opened to scream, but no sound came out. Her breathing was ragged and she was trying to gather herself, get control, and then…

Then she was no longer there. No longer in a place where Natalie or the car had ever existed. There was no longer that look of fear and concern in Grissom’s eyes she had become all too familiar with over the past three weeks. There was only her and him. His happiness and hers because they were together and they could love and laugh whenever they pleased. And then she heard her voice telling him over and over that he was hers and she was his and they would always be together and would never be broken. The tears still fell, but they were a reaffirmation of life, the feel of their hot wetness on her face a relief, an acknowledgement that she was here with him.

Her body hadn’t stopped trembling, but Grissom didn’t care. He heard her words and he had to kiss the lips that had spoken them. He covered her mouth, his face still wet from her excitement that now mingled with her tears and his. She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck, wanting to keep him that close forever. He kept kissing her, even as he reached down to take hold of himself, to finally bring their bodies together once again.

He moved his face so that it was tucked against her neck and slid into her, his hands coming back up to rest on her back, their bodies pressed together from head to hip. She grunted a little at the intrusion of him, but when he started to rock against her, she could only get out, “More, more.”

He knew this would be fast even though he’d had an earlier release. He felt the emotion of her and it made his heart hurt, but in a way that made him happy.

“You’re here,” he said in her ear, his hands briefly leaving her shoulders to stroke over the sides of her breasts, he could feel her nipples pressing against his chest.

“I’m here, I’m here, I’m here,” she groaned with each thrust of his hips.

“And you’re mine…forever,” he could feel the pressure building, the tightening of his body.

“Forever,” she repeated, “and I love you forever and I…oh god, just ohhh, god yes…I just want you to love me and I’ll love you forever…and we can fuck and I’ll love you forever, your mind and your cock, I’ll love, oh fuckfuckfuck, I’m gonna come, you’re gonna make me…”

He felt her tighten around him, her body tremble, and he had a sudden flash of when he had been sitting beside her in the ambulance and she had been trembling with cold. How she had looked up at him, pleading with her eyes for him to make it better and he had covered her hand with his and told her to imagine they were in a jungle together, a hot, hot jungle, with the sun beating down on them. “Looking for bugs?” she had managed, smiled, and then fallen asleep due to the painkillers, her body stilled.

He laughed then, thinking of her dopey smile and “looking for bugs?” as she trembled with pleasure beneath him. When she was aware of her surroundings again, she laughed too, just because he was laughing. He heard her and lifted his head to look at her smiling face and he came. Just like that he was letting himself go over the edge, watching her laugh and seeing the love and happiness in her eyes. He was surprised by the force of it all, the deep pulses inside her creating a warmth within.

He kissed her, managing a few more lazy thrusts, and then he felt boneless. She welcomed the weight of him and stroked his hair. His breathing was rapid and he noticed how he rose and fell with the speed of her own breathing. “I love you,” she managed to get out.

“I love you too,” he answered, his head nestled against her, feeling a safety he hadn’t known in a long time. “We’ll be ok.”

She smiled, his breath against her skin a bit ticklish. “Yes, we will.”


The End.