Love' Pain and Joy

The Day starts

Jack O Neill sat on the edge of his bed, he had woken from his dream, it was a bitter sweet dream. In his nocturnal slumbers he had what he had so long desired and the reality of waking to find it was all just an illusion was more than he could take. He found himself sobbing and moaning like a child. Over and Over he keened rocking, panting and crying his tears soaking his face and his big heart tearing in two. Jack was in the depths of despair and that despair was caused unwittingly by his best friend. He knew that it was not the fault of his friend but this love he bore for him hurt so much that the effort of breathing sometimes was more than he could stand,

He called his name in the vain hope that this would somehow make it better.

“Danny, Danny I need you” he sobbed and whispered until he was spent of emotion for the time being.

Jack got up and went to perform his morning hygiene, this completed he grabbed a cup of instant coffee, drank the bitter liquid, rinsed his mug and grabbed his car keys. Outside his house Jack and put on his public face and prepared to drive himself to The Mountain where another day would pass and he once again would be in the private heaven and hell that he always felt when he worked and played with one very beautiful, sexy and distracting but most defiantly straight Daniel Jackson. A man of intellect a scientist, a linguist, a renowned scholar, and just simply the man whom Jack O Neill loved with all of his heart and soul. A man whom Jack could never tell this to, he valued his friendship way too much.

In Cheyenne mountain complex Dr Daniel Jackson had just returned from his study and was in his quarters on base. He walked over to his bedside locker and lingered over the photograph that was sat on top. It displayed a couple of soldiers laughing and eating an unknown fruit. Major Samantha Carter had taken the still because bright yellow juice had been dripping down the chin of both men and she recorded the moment for prosperity. Daniel picked the image up and sat on his bed. He stared at the older man’s face long and hard. The greying hair, the headgear slipped at a jaunty angle, the laughing chocolate brown eyes that made you want to lose your soul within them. This complex man, this soldier, this philosopher, (although he did not know it), This was the man Daniel Jackson loved to utter and complete distraction. Daniel knew he would never know his kiss or his touch. Colonel Jack O Neill of the USAF would be uncomfortable to say the least. Jack was not his and never would be

“Get over it Danny boy,” He muttered out loud in his mind would not want or accept this type of love.

“You know he is a ladies man and they do not come much straighter than him. “ Daniel sighed and wiped away the tears that once more threatened to overtake him.

“I will always love you Jack even if you don’t know and don’t want to know nothing can ever change that”