Do You Find Me Boring

Do You Find Me Boring?

Ducky Mallard had taken his cloak off and placed it in his locker. He shook his head; no one had ever taken an interest in his fount of knowledge. He sighed as he slammed the door only to find Abby standing there frowning at him.

“What’s up, Ducky?” she asked. This English man fascinated her and he knew an awful lot about almost every dark historical era possible.

“Nothing, Abby. I’m fine.”

“No you’re not,” Abby had been observing Ducky for most of the afternoon, and he seemed a little upset. He had even looked morose. She wasn’t going to go home until she had put a smile on the Duck Man’s face. “C’mon, Ducky, you can tell me.”

Ducky stared into the shiny surface of the locker and hung his head. “It’s all right, Abby, you go home.”

“I’m not leaving until I get a smile on the Duck Man’s face, now, tell me, what’s going on?”

He turned his head slowly to look at the bright young woman. “All right, Abby, but only because I want you to get a decent night’s rest.”

“Yeah. It’s important I guess.” Abby laughed. “Gibbs certainly ain’t cutting any of us some slack on this one!”

“Each and every case is important, Abby, Gibbs seems to be taking this one personally.”

Abby shrugged her shoulders. “I think he’s just too obsessive at times. The reason that his previous marriages failed I reckon!”

“I think so,” Ducky’s lips twisted wryly as he thought about Abby’s observation of their boss. “Okay, Abby, I smiled you can go home!”

“Not so fast, Duck Man!” Abby exclaimed. “I want a proper smile! That barely covered it.”

Ducky sighed. He was going to have to ask her the question that he had asked everyone and get the same response that he had been receiving throughout the day.

“Abby, do you find me boring?”

Abby’s mouth hung wide open. Is that what was bothering the Duck Man? She couldn’t believe it!

“What brought this on?” she asked leaning against her locker, her arms folded.

“Gerald was wearing a CD player, and Gibbs keeps cutting me off every time I begin a story on other cases or connections to do with what we’re dealing with. If he listened then maybe the case could be solved a lot easier and a lot quicker.”

Abby shook her head in disbelief. Of all the things to be troubled by! “No, you’re not boring in the least.”

“You really think so, Abby?”

“I really think so, Ducky. In fact I find you quite interesting. I could listen to your stories all day. Some of them are quite gruesome. I like them.”

Ducky smiled at this assurance that not everyone in this world found him boring. He opened his wallet and sighed. He had just enough for a Chinese take out. He didn’t feel like cooking and his mother would be asleep about now.

“Well, thank you, Abby. I must away to bed.”

“Want to come to my place?”

Ducky hesitated a little. He looked at the young woman before him and couldn’t deny that he was interested in her. She was just as eccentric as him albeit in differing ways.

“No, I must go home.”

“C’mon,” she said taking his hand. “I won’t take no for an answer.”

She dragged him out of the lab and held onto him tightly whilst she locked up. “You got to relax occasionally. Besides, I live on my own.”

Ducky shook his head. He was sixty-two years old; he was a little to out of it for relationships and women now. It would be nice, however, to have a good friend.

“Abby, you can let go. I’ll come meekly and mildly to your place.”

She tilted her head to one side. “Okay,” she released him from her grip. “You know what I’ve always fancied?”

“No go on?”

“A true British dish,” she said licking her lips. He blushed catching the inference. Her eyes widened and he shuffled from foot to foot. “I was thinking maybe this fish and chips I’ve heard so much about. British style? I’ve always wanted to have a British chip.”

Ducky coughed. “All right then,” he said. “Let’s buy some cod and potatoes. I’ll cook you a true British Fish and chips.”

“Excellent,” Abby said.

She walked up to her motorbike and picked up her helmet. She opened the lid and took out the spare helmet.

“A Harley Davidson?” Ducky asked.

“Yeah!”

“I used to have one of these.”

Abby couldn’t believe it. “You were a biker?”

“You’re forgetting, Abby, that I grew up when the biker culture started. I had long hair too.”

Abby swung her legs over the seat and revved the engine up, and Ducky got on behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned in closer to her. He took in her scent. Those bottles of perfume were obviously being used.

“Hold tight, Duck Man!”

“I haven’t sped along on a Harley for a while.”

Abby drove out of the parking lot and took a left turn to where she lived.

Tony and Kate had driven in at the moment that Abby rode out.

“Did I see Mallard on Abby’s bike?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, that man is so cool!”

“You think so? He’s a bit boring for my taste.”

“That’s because he has a few brain cells, DiNozzio, things you probably could only dream of having!”

Tony went to punch Kate on the arm playfully but she was faster than him and she got out of the car.

“I will get you one day,” DiNozzio said.

Kate smiled mysteriously and was about to walk up to her car when Gibbs took her by the arm. “Do you think that anyone’s watching?” he whispered.

She pointed to Tony and Gibbs frowned. “Tomorrow, Kate!”

Kate shrugged her shoulders and stepped into her car. “Was that Ducky on Abby’s Harley?”

“Yep,” Kate answered.

“That man never ceases to amaze me,” Gibbs replied. “Something up with his car then?”

“I don’t know, Gibbs, I can’t read minds!”

“Really? Well, you learn something new everyday.”

“What is this? Let’s pick on the former Air Force One flyer day?”

“No, but we could mark that in the calendar if you want!”


***

Abby drove into her driveway and parked the bike. She took her helmet off and swung her legs off the bike. An elderly lady with a terrier dog walked by, and Abby nodded to her.

“Hello, young Abby, and who is this?”

“This is Ducky,” Abby said. “He’s my friend from work.”

“Oh, the one you go on about!”

Abby shrugged her shoulders. Ducky blushed. She’s been talking about him? He took out the bag of potatoes and fish.

“He’s cool,” Abby said. “Ducky, this is Mrs Steinbeck.”

They shook hands. “Pleased to make your acquaintance Mrs Steinbeck.”

“You’re British?”

“Yes I am,” he said.

“I remember Abby telling me she liked British men,” the elderly woman said.

Abby smiled and when her door was opened she stepped into the hallway, and Ducky quickly hurried in. He looked at the black metal skeleton in her hallway, he saw her hang her coat on the shoulders; he followed suit.

“Where is your kitchen, Abby?”

“In there,” she pointed to the kitchen. As Ducky had expected the surfaces were black, and the floor was covered in blood red tiles.

“I’ll get whatever you need!”

“All right,” he said. “I like your kitchen Abby.”

“Thanks,” she said. “What do you need?”

“A bowl, some flour, milk, and a deep fat fryer!”

“This is going to pile on the pounds then?”

“No more so than a cream cake,” Ducky said.

She laughed. “I don’t mind. It’s not healthy to be too thin anyway.”

“Excellent,” Ducky replied. “Do you have any CD’s?”

“Yeah, what do you want to listen to?”

“Got any Pink Floyd?”

“Which album?”

“Any one will do,” Ducky replied. “I do love Comfortably Numb.”

“That’s my favourite!”

“I thought it might be.”

She walked into her sitting room and brought the CD in. She placed it in her player that looked a little like Darth Vader’s helmet. She pressed play and sat down on one of her chairs.

“I haven’t had a man cook me dinner in a long while,” she sighed.

“Well I had to learn to cook,” Ducky said. “Particularly as I look after my mother.”

“That must be tough,” she said.

“It’s not that hard. She understands more than most.”

“I think we’re both lonely aren’t we?”

Ducky stopped measuring and looked at the young woman before him. “You don’t seem the type to be lonely, Abby.”

“C’mon, Ducky, I have a skeleton in the hall and a coffin in the sitting room. I get men interested and bring ‘em home, and then they look around and think: Geez, this one’s a weirdo! And make their excuses to leave.”

“I have never thought of you as weird, Abby, just eccentric.”

“Same thing!”

He walked around the counter and tilted her chin up. “You’re one of the most fascinating creatures I’ve ever met, Abby Sciuto.”

He ran the pad of his thumb across her lower lip, smudging her lipstick slightly. He apologised and was about to get a piece of tissue to tidy it up but she grabbed his wrist and stood up. Her heart pounded in her chest. This was all kinds of wrong. Gibbs would have them both in a work tribunal before you can say ‘cutthroat’. She took hold of his blue shirt and tiptoed up and tentatively placed her lips on his.

He was shocked at first. He was about to jump back but she stroked up his chest and curled her arms around his neck continuing to kiss this man, he relaxed his mouth and she slipped her tongue inside his mouth. He was going to push her away but his treacherous arms curved around her waist and he held her tightly to him. He joined in the kissing. She broke the kiss when his hands started to inch towards her butt.

“Wow, Duck Man!” she exclaimed.

“What?”

“How is it that you’re not married?”

Ducky blushed. “Never found the right woman.”

She looked down on the floor. “I think that we’d best get dinner.”

“That would be a good idea!”

***

“Wow,” Abby said when she’d finished her dinner. “That was great. Maybe I’ll have to start eating chips instead of fries.”

“They are actually better for you; the fatter the potato the less fat.”

“Is that so?” Abby asked. “Is there anything you don’t know?”

“I don’t know what you look like naked!” Ducky said out loud, once he realised what he said he looked down on the floor. “Sorry, I wasn’t meant to say that for you to hear.”

He didn’t see Abby place a CD on and as soon as the song started Ducky looked up; he saw her swaying her hips to the song, she unbuttoned her blouse and swung it in the air. “Hold tight, Ducky, this is one night you’re not gonna forget.”

“What are you doing?”

“Makin’ sure the Duck Man gets to know everything.”

She threw the blouse and unclasped her bra. She had beautiful, pale skin. Her nipples were like two ripened cherry’s sitting on a mountain of meringue and cream. They bounced along with her swaying hips. She unzipped her black leather boots. She stepped out of them in time with the song. She was wearing fishnet tights with the pattern of skull and crossbones. She placed her foot on his thigh and rolled them down. She revealed skimpy red silk underwear with ties on the hips. He blushed. She picked up his hands; they were warm, and large. She placed them on her breasts and rubbed them up and down with the tune. She dragged them down to her panties and spread them on her hip. She sat on his lap and snuggled close to him, she smelt his aftershave and squirmed on his lap; he couldn’t deny that he was very much aroused by the young woman.

“Are you getting excited by what I’m doing, Ducky?” she whispered in his ear as she sucked it. She kissed the tender spot below his ear, she slipped down so that she could access more of his flesh to tease and tingle. He sighed as she continued trailing a path of hot, sultry kisses down to his throat. “I’ve always wanted to know what it was like with a nice guy like you.”

“I am not always nice, Abby,” he moaned, he began to feel very hot and slightly uncomfortable.

“I know, I heard you threaten people if they’re not doin’ their job properly. I love that about you; you’re like an extinct volcano … sitting waiting to erupt.”

“Abby, what is this song we’re listening to?”

“Alice Cooper, Poison, it’s my favourite track.”

She slipped her hands into the waistband of his trousers and felt his arousal; she smirked as she kissed his throat. “How about we take this to the bedroom?”

Ducky looked up and she moved so that she could look into his deep blue eyes. “I don’t think we should, Abby.”

“C’mon, Ducky. Please? You and I both need this!”

He looked into her eyes; either dark from the make up or colour he couldn’t tell. She pouted as she began to fiddle with his bow tie. “Both our heads could be on the block for this.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell ‘em it was all my idea.”

“No, Abby,” he sighed. “If we both do this, we both take the blame; it takes two after all.”

“You’re so nice,” she said. She slipped off his lap and stood up. She then took his hand and he followed her. “I wonder why you ain’t taken you know.”
Ducky shrugged his shoulders. “I just didn’t have the time when I was a young man, now I feel too old.”

“Nonsense,” Abby said. “Wasn’t Cary Grant 60 when he became a father for the first time? If it still works, you shouldn’t give up.”

“Maybe,” he said.

“C’mon,” she purred. “Follow me to my lair.”

“Mother warned me about women like you!”

“Really, well I guess I am a bad girl indeed.”

He swept his gaze down her curvaceous body. She led him up the stairs; he noticed that she had some fake spider’s webs in between the banisters. She opened the door to her room; he wasn’t surprised by the fact that it was designed like a church crypt. She was one very eccentric girl but she was nice.

She turned around and looked him up and down. Her lust filled gaze and her tongue sweeping across her mouth made him hotter than before. He took all his clothes off in a hurry. Her mouth hung wide open.

“Wow, Duck Man!” She walked up to him; and her pupils dilated as she tiptoed up. “I won’t bite … much!”

She took his hand again and led him to the bed, she sank down on the mattress and sprawled her body in a rather sexy position. His arousal was beginning to give him pain. He followed her down and separated her legs he smelt her sex and growled.

“Abby, you realise that we’ll never be able to see each other in the same way again?”

“I don’t care, Ducky, just make me feel special please?”

“As you’ve asked so nicely.”

He placed his hand behind her head and supported her as he placed his lips on hers and began kissing and devouring her mouth. Her legs wrapped around his waist and they clung onto each other kissing.

“Ducky!” she sighed. “I could let you do this to me forever.”

“You’ve never been more beautiful than you are at the moment, Abby Sciuto.”

She blushed. She reached down between them to grab his penis. She stroked it gently for a while before guiding him to her. He slipped inside of her folds with ease and comfort. She sighed heavily as his girth slid into her body. She scratched his back causing him to hiss.

“Now, Ducky, make me yours!” she murmured hungrily in his ear.

He looked at her and smirked. “Be patient.”

He grazed his fingernails against her sensitised flesh of her thighs; he dipped his head down and took her nipple in his teeth. She arched her hips forward and caused him to bite her.

“That’s better,” she said.

“Playing it like that are you, my dear little panther?”

“I like that,” she said.

“Fine!” He moved gently causing her body to quiver, and her sensuous mouth to sigh, her eyes rolled in the back of her head as he surprised her and slammed against her clit!

“Ducky!” she screamed digging her nails further into his flesh. Little rivulets of blood escaped. He enjoyed the slight sting of pain.

“Abby!” he grunted.

“Again, Ducky!”

He rode her again. Taking her by surprise each and every time.

“Abby! ABBY!”

“DUCKY!” she screamed. “WOW! Harder! FASTER!”

He acquiesced to her demands; and rode her harder and faster; sweat began to drench the sheets below. The screams echoed in the dark, cavernous bedroom. He squeezed and moulded her soft, snow white flesh in his hands. Kissing every available part of her body that he could.

“Come, Abby, come!”

“I am! I am!”

“Your bloody great, ABBY!!!”

“DUC – KY!”

He slammed into her one last time before slipping out of her and collapsing on top of her. Her name lingered on his lips and his still echoed in the air.

“Ducky!” she panted. “That was the best sex I ever had.”

Ducky smiled. “You were to.”

She smiled shyly. “So, what are we going to do now?”

“Sleep, perhaps?”

“I’d like to wake up to you.”

She placed her head against his beating heart and sighed playing about with the greying hairs on his chest, she sighed and kissed his chest.

They had just settled into each other’s embrace when the phone rang. They looked at each other and sighed.

“I can’t think who that might be, probably Tristan.”

“Tristan?”

“Yeah, he’s this guy that thinks we stand a chance just because he has a tattoo.” Ducky grinned, he rolled over onto his side and Abby noticed that, on the back of his hip, he had a little tattoo of a sea horse. “Wow, that’s sweet!” she exclaimed.

“Like it?” he asked. She nodded and scrabbled up the bed to answer the phone. Her heart sank in her chest when she heard who it was. Ducky watched her and she sighed. “Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”

She placed the phone down on the receiver. “It’s who?” Ducky asked.

“Gibbs!” Abby sighed. “Oh well, looks like I won’t get that English breakfast!”

***

Gibbs sat back in his chair. He could practically hear the guilt in her voice. She had done more than ride Ducky Mallard home; she had given him an oiling and tyre change to. He frowned slightly as he steepled his fingers wondering how he should cope with this, he knew he was not innocent of inter colleague relationships. But this was different; Abby was like a daughter to him and he was protective of her.

Oh well… what will be, will be! At least Ducky’s mind could be put to rest on the score of whether anybody found him boring. Abby Sciuto most certainly didn’t!

A/N - My first NCIS fic, I've only watched eight or nine episodes, so if they seem slightly OOC then I'm truly apologetic. I hope you liked this oneshot at any rate.