Tell Me What Matters

"C'mon, Smallville. Even YOU can pull this off."

Clark Kent turned his head towards his partner, wary green eyes flashing in a warning. "Wow. Even me, huh? I don't know how I manage to get through a day without your encouragement, Lo-Lo."

Lois poked a finger firmly against a solid wall of muscle. "Say that again. I dare you."

Grinning widely, Clark moved away from the brightly tipped finger nudging his chest. He shrugged and reached up to rub against the unbruised area Lois had been pushing against.

"Aww, Lo'...don't be that way." He teased.

As Lois hissed angrily and turned away to stalk out of the store, Clark bit his tongue to hold back the chuckles fighting to break free. The door slamming at the front of the store freed the bright laughter from his lips, and the sound echoed throughout the small shop.

Twisting around to look in the mirror, Clark had to admit Lois was right. The suit fit him well, showing off his body in a loving cut.

Sighing, he moved to the fitting room to remove the jacket and pants.

A knock on the door startled him, and he fell against the wall, wincing as he heard the mirror crack against his arm.

"Is everything all right in there, sir?"

"Um...yeah. Everything’s great, thanks. Could I just get this suit in a larger size, please? No...make that two sizes up?" Clark asked, wrinkling his nose.

There was a pause before the woman answered, her voice confused. "Sir? Are you sure? That suit seemed to fit you quite nicely. I can't help but think that anything larger would look a little...well, a little baggy."

Clark pushed off of the mirror carefully, turning to look sheepishly at his reflection in the cracked surface. "Yes," he muttered quietly, "I know."

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Pushing his glasses up his nose, Clark took a surreptitious glance around the room. The large ballroom was full of all of the 'beautiful' people of Metropolis. Lois had abandoned him immediately upon entrance, sniffing disdainfully at his overlarge, rumpled suit before slinking away.

She, of course, was lovely in a deep red, raw silk dress that clung to her curves before falling gracefully away from her body just below her hips. Truly, she looked stunning, and it was with a wry grin that Clark observed the many appreciative glances thrown her way as she maneuvered her way towards the front of the room.

Lois would eat any one of them alive, and smile as she stood over their battered souls while she wrote an amazing story on the party, and the power behind it.

She was amazing.

Too bad he wasn't in love with her.

The thought erased the small smile from his face, and his eyes turned instinctively towards the table that his partner had just reached.

The Luthors.

Lex.

Clark glanced to the head of the table, and looked directly into Lex Luthor's amused gray eyes. One pale eyebrow was arched on an elegant forehead, and he saw the barely detectable nod directed his way.

Sucking in a breath, he forced a toothy smile in return, and turned away, walking swiftly towards a door. Any door. He tried to convince himself that he wasn't running.

As he stepped out onto the terrace, and heard the door shut behind him, he reached out and laid his hands across the stone ledge. Leaned into it, and sucked in a deep breath. A strong, cool breeze washed over him and lifted his hair from his neck. He smiled into the wind, loving the smell of the air and the city. Let it calm him, soothe him.

He felt himself relax the tiniest bit, and sighed as his shoulders fell from their tense hold.

Lex Luthor.

Too bad he WAS in love with him.

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Lex watched Clark walk into the room, and he smirked. The awful suit did nothing to emphasize Clark's amazing body.

Which, naturally, was the point.

Clark was always hiding. He always had been. Behind the horrible suits, the glasses, the flannel, the girl...behind the cape that now covered Metropolis with a balm of safety.

Clark's partner was attractive enough. Lois Lane. Lex likely would have found her appealing had she not been submerged under the long, unattainable shadow of Clark Kent.

Lex saw through the many layers, the guises. He saw the pristine beauty that so many looked past. The glasses fascinated him. So many people...fooled by a simple pair of glasses, when all they had to do was look through them and see that completely unique set of stunning blue-green eyes. Stunning. Beautiful. Debilitating in their honesty.

And the lips. How did they not see those lips? They were smiling right now, and the fullness of them made him want to stand up and cross the room. Run a finger across the plushness of them, and pull them apart.

Not for the first time, Lex wondered if one of Clark's many powers wasn't the ability to blind people with his beauty.

He enjoyed watching him. His eyebrow rose as he watched Clark watch Ms. Lane walk away. Clark's gaze was one of a man who saw the loveliness before him, and saw only a friend. There was respect there, and he obviously cared for the woman. It was obvious. The thing missing was lust, passion, and he shook his head, wondering if there was anything that could put passion in Clark Kent's pretty eyes.

And, then Clark looked at him. His eyes had seemed to be searching for someone, and when they had settled, it had been on him. On Lex.

Those eyes darkened; Lex could see the shift from across the room. He nodded carefully, and watched as the look rushed across the golden face. The look. The one he had been wondering about.

There was need in that magnificent face. Want. And, it was directed at him.

It was gone so fast; Lex had to wonder if he'd brought it to life from one of his fantasies. Replaced with a bright smile, Lex was left needy and trembling as Clark twisted in place and took off at nearly a run towards the terrace.

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"Hey, what are you doing out here?"

"What is it, Lois?" Clark's voice was low and thick, and Lois stepped forward, her brow furrowed.

"You okay, Smallville?" Lois asked, laying a firm hand against Clark's back. She smoothed down the wrinkles in his sleeve, and looked at Clark's profile.

He seemed so sad, she thought.

Walking away from the Luthors had been tearing, and she'd gritted her teeth as she'd stepped outside to where she'd seen Clark disappear.

Ready to smack him a good one for forcing her to feel concern, and leave a story, she taken one look at his slumped shoulders and bowed head, and had felt her heart twist. For all his goofy, cheesy, small-town crap, Clark was a great guy and an amazing friend.

And, she loved him. Who wouldn't? Who could stop themselves from loving someone like Clark?

"What's going on?" Her words were fast and choppy, but she saw Clark smile softly, and knew he heard the worry underneath the snap.

"It's nothing, Lois. I just needed a little air. You know how these things are." He turned his face slightly, lifting the side of his mouth in a charming grin. "I'm not used to all of this big city stuff."

"Oh, can it, Smallville." She muttered, rolling her eyes. "I'm not buying that." Leaning in closer, she laid a hand over his. "Come on. Something made you bolt out of there like you were on fire. What's wrong?"

She watched his throat as he swallowed. Something was twisting him. Ripping his heart up, and she watched him squeeze his eyes shut, hard.

He reached up and pinched the bridge of his noise, hiding his eyes from her.

Lifting her hands, she moved his hand aside and held onto his face. "Talk to me."

Clark met her eyes, and she felt the world fall away for a moment. So beautiful. Such a good man.

He breathed out a shaky breath and frowned. "I couldn't stay in there. The problem is, Lois, that I've been in love with someone since I was fifteen. And, I can't even look at them anymore without feeling like I'm going to break apart."

Frowning, Lois shook her head. "Lana isn't even here, Clark."

Clark smiled, the expression a mockery compared to the sunshine brightness that usually occupied his face.

"Oh," she whispered, "...who?"

He shook his head, and moved back, away from her hands. Turning, he leaned back over the stone shelf, and looked up into the night. The moonlight shone down on his face and made his hair shine brightly as it moved with the currents that washed across them.

"It doesn't matter." He whispered.

"It does. It matters to you." She clasped her empty hands into fists at her sides, and moved towards the door. "You don't have to tell me, Smallville, but you should tell someone. This is hurting you, and much as I hate to admit it...you're too good of a guy to keep doing this to yourself. You deserve to be happy; you really do."

She saw his head bob down in a nod, and she sighed and walked back into the room. Turning towards the table she had abandoned to see to her partner, she noticed her story subject had disappeared.

Rolling her eyes with an exaggerated exhalation of breath, and nearly stomping her foot, she moved towards the nearest waiter and grabbed a flute of champagne.

She'd find him. Darned slippery billionaires.

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Lex watched them from the dark corner. Frowned as Lois Lane put her hands on Clark's face.

The woman loved him, that much was obvious, and he found it difficult to blame her.

He had certainly been unable to contain himself from falling to the same emotion, where it concerned Clark Kent.

The words had been a shock to him. Clark, in love. In love? With someone he'd known for so long. Someone here tonight. Instantly, he'd tightened his arms around himself, and knew the look he'd seen tonight had been a lot more than lust.

Lex was no fool. He heard the unsaid, and watched as Lois left the terrace, and Clark looked out at the stars. Reaching up and pulling off his glasses, Clark let his head fall back. Exposed his face fully to the sky, and smiled into it. Opened his lips and laughed into the night.

"You think I don't know you're here?"

Lex's spine stiffened, as he stepped out into the light of the moon. "How long have you known I was here?"

Clark shut his eyes, smiled wider. "Since you first came out. I know your heartbeat better than I know my own, Lex." He twisted his face to the side, and opened his eyes. Looked into his surprised face. "I'd know you anywhere on this earth, Lex."

"Clark..."

"I know you know. I know it. I wish I could have been the one to tell you. I wish that I could have trusted enough, to be the one. I didn't want you to find out on your own. I didn't want you to hate me." His voice sounded painful, lonely.

Lex stepped forward. "I don't hate you, Clark."

Soft, pretty lips curled up gently. "Maybe. It doesn't matter, though, does it? Nothing will ever be the way it could have been."

Sighing, Lex shrugged, "What are you asking me, Clark?"

Clark look lost. "If I had told you...If I hadn't held back, every things would be so different, Lex. I should have told you, Lex." He turned fully, bowing his head, and looking through the fringe of messy black hair into Lex's eyes. "I should have told you I was-"

"There was a reason." Lex interrupted. Even as he cursed himself for his stupidity, he stopped Clark. "You had a reason for not telling me your secrets."

Those eyes were so dark in a pale gold face, and Lex had to look away for a moment to catch his breath.

"Fear." Clark spat out. "I was afraid." He sounded disgusted, and Lex felt a shiver rage down his spine.

"You thought I would hurt you."

Clark stepped into him sharply, grasped his arms and shook him gently. Forced him to look up. "I was afraid of losing you."

Unable to look into the face that he'd loved for over a decade, Lex shut his eyes. "You lost me anyway."

The hands were gone, and the chill left was horrible. Horrifying in it's fierceness.

Lex opened his eyes to see total devastation.

"Yes. I lost the person I loved the most. That's my destiny, Lex. To be alone. It's the only way something like me can do what it needs to do."

Lex watched him sit on the ledge. He watched him swing his legs over the side, and push off. He didn't even realize he had leapt forward, his arms reached out to grab, before he was standing on the edge of the shelf, screaming over the side.

And, he watched, in disbelief that belied that knowledge he had, as Clark Kent landed on his feet gracefully and looked up. Walked away.

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Clark replaced the phone's receiver on the base and rolled his head around on his neck, trying unsuccessfully to relieve some of the tension knotted up at the top of his spine.

Lois was furious with him for 'ditching the damn shin-dig without as much as a see-ya-later, you inconsiderate, overgrown jerk'. He sighed loudly. He was going to be hearing about this for weeks.

Walking towards his room, he lifting heavy fingers to begin unbuttoning a soaked shirt. After leaving Lex on the terrace, he had run. Ocean to ocean, he had run until he hadn't felt able to stand. Not tired, physically, just ravaged. Ravaged by pain and anger and sheer loneliness.

Looking up at the ledge, he'd seen the look on Lex's face. It was one he'd seen before, a million times in his dreams, and once right before he'd watched Lex inject himself with an untested cure for a deadly virus. It had been terror, for him. Worry, and love. He'd seen it, felt it. It had washed over him like a wave of sheer feeling, and he'd had to run.

Had to get away.

He'd felt unable to stand there, in the face of that love, and not be able to touch what was so damned close.

His hands were tangled in the delicate fabric, and he dropped his hands, furious. He couldn't even take off his shirt right now without destroying it.

He couldn't touch it. Couldn't touch ANYTHING! Nothing could be touched. He could destroy everything and anything, and all he wanted to do was touch. Something. Anything. Someone.

He heard his knees cracking on the floor as he fell to his knees. His hands were hot against his face, and he was sobbing into them, and he didn't even know how he'd gotten to this place.

So tired of being alone, and scared of himself.

The footsteps were a surprise. His hearing notwithstanding, he lived alone, and when the perfectly shined shoes were in front of his knees, nudging gently, he shook his head and buried his face in his too-hot hands. Felt his heaving breaths fly back against his skin, and shook with the anguish of it.

Not now.

He couldn't do it now. Couldn't turn away. Couldn't not touch.

Couldn't touch. Should NEVER touch.

Gentle hands were cautious on his shirt, deftly undoing buttons with the ease of years of experience.

"Lex." His voice broke on the name, and he felt those precious hands pulling his hands away from his face. He felt lips soft on his, pushing, and sucking with the barest pressure.

His lips were being tasted, caressed. Lex's mouth was pushing into his, and he held his hands away and clung to his thighs. Moved his mouth in, and opened in welcome.

He gasped into wetness, and sighed gratefully.

"You left me again, Clark." Lex whispered against his tongue.

"I'm so sorry."

"I lied to you." Lex said, pulling back and looking into his eyes. "I said you'd lost me. You could never lose me, Clark. We belong to each other."

Clark skidded back on the floor, pushing himself against a wall. He was shaking so hard, the wall was vibrating, and falling plaster was sprinkling in the black of his hair. "I can't have you, Lex." Wistful sorrow was dripping down the back of his throat, and he swallowed reflexively.

Lex came closer, and placed his hands against Clark's chest, feeling the hard thump of his heart. "You can. I want you to tell me now, Clark."

Clark closed his eyes. "You know."

Lips that felt like silk and smelled of expensive scotch kissed his eyelids gently. "I want you to tell me." He moved back. Waited.

Looking into soft gray eyes that had bled into blue, he smiled. "I'm not human. I'm not from this planet, Lex. I'm-"

Fingers against his lips cut off his words, and he frowned, confused. Pulling back, he murmured, "I thought-"

"Not that." Lex whispered. "Tell me your truth. Tell me what matters, Clark."

Clark's eyes filled, and spilled over his cheeks in hot lines. "I love you." He said, his voice hoarse. Barely there.

Lex leaned forward, and licked away the tears. Sat back on his heels, and tasted the wetness left on his lips. "I love you, Clark. I've always loved you." His eyes slid shut in a slow blink as he trembled, his hands still against Clark's chest. "Everything in my mind is screaming at me to be furious at you, for not trusting me. For not having faith. Everything Luthor inside of my soul wants me to lash out, and destroy you, and everything that makes you happy." He shook his head, the pale light in the room turning his skin alabaster. "Everything else. Everything 'Lex' tells me to never let you run away again. I want to hold you, Clark. I want to prove to you that we're right together. I want to show you that I know you could never hurt me. I want to show you that I KNOW that you love me."

Clark's hands were so gentle, so careful as they closed around Lex's waist and pulled him in.

"I don't want to be without you, Lex." He licked his lips, and leaned in, kissing the side of Lex's scarred mouth softly. "I don't feel anything the same way without you. You make me real. You make me belong."

Lex's quiet chuckle made them both smile. "You're stealing my lines, love."

Clark kissed him again, sealing their mouths together, and swallowing the sound of Lex's laugh. Inhaled it into his body, and stored it in his soul. His mouth opened wider as Lex took him in, sucking his tongue into himself, and drinking him down.

They kiss went on forever, mouths sliding against one another, wet and loud in the silence.

Lex broke away, panting, "You can't run again, Clark. I won't win this fight again. I can feel it. I need you. You keep me strong."

Clark nodded, his hair tangling as it rubbed against Lex's smooth forehead. "No more running."

"You're mine." Lex whispered.

"Yours."

Hands slid down his chest to dig into his waist. Held him tight. "I won't let go."

"I don't want you to." Clark breathed out. "Never want you to let go."

Lex stood slowly, moving his hand up, never letting his fingers lose contact with Clark's skin. "Come on. I want you, Clark. Come with me."

Clark stood, shivering, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." Lex said, his voice a fierce whisper. "You wouldn't. You couldn't. I know you. I know you, Clark. Make love with me." He ran his fingers down Clark's arm, and pulled on his hand, tugging him down the hall to Clark's bedroom. "Come on, let me show you."

He followed. He couldn't have turned away for anything, in that moment.

He watched at Lex stood in front of his bed, and slowly pulled him forward. Hands were slow and soft on his waist, pulling his pants apart and tugging them down his legs. A soft noise escaped his lips as Lex pushed him down on the covers. Pushed him down with pale, long fingers. His eyes burned beneath his lids as he felt Lex's hands on his ankles, removing his shoes.

"You don't ever have to tell me you're sorry again, after tonight, Clark," Lex murmured, "because tonight you're going to make every moment we were apart worth it. We're going to love each other tonight. And, after tonight is over, Clark, my sweet, beautiful love, we're going to love each other for the rest of eternity. I'm going to prove it to you." Soft kisses brushed over Clark's stomach, and he felt Lex's smooth body slide up his as the bed dipped beneath him. "I'm going to show you that there's nothing we can't do, together. There's nothing we can't be, together. I'm going to show you this. And, I'm going to show you that you are a man, in every sense of the word. You are a man, Clark, not a 'thing'. You're the man I love. We're going to earn each other, Clark, for the rest of our lives. It's going to be so incredible."

Clark's legs fell apart as Lex moved between them. His hands shook as Lex took each one and twined their fingers together.

Lex moved, and their skin glided together. He could feel Lex, hard against his thigh, and he thrust into the hardness. Cried out as he felt the silky skin of Lex's stomach brush against him.

Lips met in a frantic crush, breaths heavy against chins and cheeks. Clark moved his mouth across a throat, and felt the moan that rumbled out with his tongue. Tasted the sweetness there, and absorbed it.

He felt the heat pool down his back, drawing up hard in his groin, and he jerked hard against the impulse to surge. He whined, low in his throat, and threw his head back into the pillow.

Lex didn't stop. He moved harder, more forcefully, rubbing against Clark as his mouth dropped down onto Clark's chest. He brought Clark's hand up to his mouth, and traced his tongue over tensed fingers.

"Let go, love. It's okay. I've got you. Let go. Trust me. Love me enough to let go with me."

Clark felt his teeth sink into his lip as he released. Warmth and electricity that was nothing like lightning seared through him, and he pooled hot and sticky on his chest. He was laughing and gasping as Lex leaned down, lapping at his lips, at his chest, and sighing with pleasure.

"Yes. Yes, just like that, Clark." And then his head was flaring back, caught in a rolling thrust, and he gasped hard. "Hold me."

Clark's hands pulled Lex's arms forward and held him close. Legs moved up around Lex's slim waist to move him through the rocking movements, holding him through the storm as he came in heated bursts on Clark's wildly sensitive skin.

Lex collapsed on Clark's chest, and Clark could feel the grin on his cooling flesh.

"Thank you." Clark managed, his voice cracking on a laugh.

"Stealing my lines again?"

Clark could hear the smile in his voice, and he closed his eyes. He felt safe.

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"Nice of you to show up for work, Smallville."

Clark grinned, wide and happy. "Yeah, it is, isn't it?"

Lois raised perfectly groomed eyebrows high over curious brown eyes. She bit her tongue, holding back the smile that wanted to take over her face. "Well, aren't you perky?"

The sunshine was out today, and it was brilliant in the drab newsroom office.

"I guess so." Clark said, walking over to his desk and sitting down in his chair. He looked out the window, towards the Metropolis skyline and smiled brightly.

The phone ran, and Clark reached for it; Lois jumped. Picked up the phone, and purred into it.

"Daily Planet."

"Isn't this Clark Kent's line?" Oh, the voice was smooth, and rich, and....

Lois dropped the phone.

Clark fumbled, picking up the receiver off of the floor, yanking it up to his ear. "Hello? ...Lex? Yeah, hi...just Lois. Yeah...you know how she is...mm hmm...Really?" Oh god.

Clark Kent giggled.

Lois pretended to retch in the nearby trashcan.

Clark waved her away, pointing fiercely at the door as he continued to whisper into the phone.

He was still smiling as she shut the door, and when Lois turned away from the door, and moved down the hall, she was smiling too.

"It's about damn time." She muttered with a smirk.


~~~Thank you very much for reading. I hope you enjoyed the story. Please, let me know what you think.
~Morgan