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Another Chance
folder
M through R › One Tree Hill
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
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4,813
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
M through R › One Tree Hill
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
Views:
4,813
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own One Tree Hill, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Another Chance
Title: Another Chance
Author: Angel Jade
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: slash, incest, angst, language, sex
Spoilers: S1
Pairings: Lucas/Nathan, Nathan/Tim, Lucas/Jake
Summary: Is it better to force yourself to trust someone you love or force yourself to love someone you trust?
Setting: S1
Distribution: If you’ve had my permission before, you have it now. Anyone else, ask first please.
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own the characters in the fic, nor do I make money from borrowing them.
Author’s note: Ah how I love a world where four guys on the same basketball team just happen to be gay and okay with it. Fiction is a blessing. Comments about how unrealistic it is? You’d only be stating the obvious.
Dedication: Thank you CJ for your inspiration! You rock my world.
Nathan’s a mess since Lucas ended their relationship. Knowing he only has himself to blame and no one he can talk to about it makes everything a million times harder. Being in love with your half-brother has its setbacks.
But while Nathan is heartbroken and more than anything, angry, over the way things have turned out, Lucas shows no such emotions. It’s yet another knife in the heart for Nathan, who can only watch from afar as Lucas and Jake mess around on the court after practice. Nathan can see Jake flirting from a mile off, the boy isn’t exactly subtle about it, but that Lucas would not only encourage the attention but enjoy it…? It hurts more than Nathan will ever admit. He’s jealous and it only succeeds in making him angrier. Without thinking, he storms into the gym, interrupting their little one-on-one.
“Luke, Whitey wants you. Now,” Nathan states, coldly, his eyes locked on Jake.
Lucas looks guilty, as if he’s been caught doing something wrong, when logically he knows he hasn’t. Still, he smiles at Jake and heads off to the locker room, ignoring Nathan as he passes.
Jake is oblivious to Nathan’s glare, too busy watching Lucas leave to notice. “I’ll see you later!” He finally turns his attention to Nathan, sighing. “Guess I better get back to Jenny, see ya round Nathan.”
Nathan watches Jake grab his bag and leave, giving Nathan exactly what he wants. Time alone with Lucas to make him understand.
The locker room is as Nathan left it, silent and empty. Except, of course, Lucas, who is looking around for the coach that he doesn’t realise left several minutes ago. He frowns and turns around, only to find Nathan behind him. He steps back and tries to pretend this doesn’t bother him. “Where is he?”
“He left,” Nathan admits, closing the gap only to have Lucas move away. “I’m not going to hurt you!” He snaps, hurt by Lucas’ determination to stay away from him.
“I know, I’m just...” He looks around once more. “Someone might walk in.”
“Never bothered you before.” Nathan smiles wistfully.
His heart sinking, Lucas sighs. “Firstly, it did bother me and secondly, don’t bring that up.”
“Why?” Nathan asks him, stepping closer, pleased when Lucas doesn’t back off.
“It’s over, Nathan, we agreed it was a mistake!” Lucas hisses at him.
Nathan shakes his head. “No, you agreed! I love you, Luke, nothing you can say is going to change that. We’re meant to be together!”
“Will you listen to yourself?” Lucas asks him. “You made it quite clear how much you love me when you cheated on me. It was a stupid idea in the first place, it’s not like we could have lasted. You did us both a favour. Now you’re free to continue seeing Tim…”
“I’m not seeing him!” Nathan interrupts.
“…And I can find somebody I can actually take home and introduce to my mom!” Lucas finishes, sternly.
“Your mom already knows me, problem solved,” Nathan quips, pointlessly.
Lucas sighs, sure he’s not going to get anywhere, at least not while Nathan’s being an ass. “We’ll talk about this later, I’ve gotta go.”
Nathan grabs Lucas by the arm as he tries to leave, holding him back. “Are you going to meet him?”
“Nathan, back off!” Lucas warns. “You’re acting like a psycho.”
Nathan immediately drops his hand, letting Lucas go. “I just…” He doesn’t know what else to say. “Lucas, please, just stay so we can fix this.”
Turning away so Nathan doesn’t see the conflict in his eyes, Lucas forces out his words. “I can’t.” He walks out, wincing as the sound of a fist slamming into a locker echoes from behind him.
Nathan shakes the pain from his fingers and watches the door close behind Lucas. He wants so badly to follow him and make him listen, but realises this approach isn’t going to get him anywhere. So, he sits down on the bench and stares hopelessly into the empty room, going over the scene again and again, trying to do things differently…as if he could.
*~*~*~*
Tim submits far too easily to Nathan’s demands, especially when they involve sex. It might be painfully obvious to everyone that Nathan isn’t in love with him, but for Tim it’s better than nothing. So when Nathan suggested he drop to his knees and use his mouth for something useful for once, Tim was happy to oblige.
Nathan doesn’t know why he lets himself get into these situations. But as he dragged the rough material of Tim’s jeans down over the pale hips and down to his ankles, he forgot to care.
It happened right around the time Nathan could feel his orgasm about to hit. He remembers sinking his cock balls-deep into Tim’s ass as the door opened and Lucas walked in on them. More than anything about that day, Nathan remembers the look on Lucas’ face that just about tore Nathan apart. He’d never felt guilt this powerful before that moment. Now it’s all he feels.
*~*~*~*
Lucas is determined to forget the past. He’s proud of how strong he’s being, despite how easily Nathan had torn his heart from his chest. But Lucas isn’t naïve enough to believe everything is going to turn out the way he wants it to. In an ideal world, Nathan would become the brother he’s always wanted and Lucas would find true love and live happily ever after. But even that’s a lie. In an ideal world, Nathan never would have done this to him. They’d still be together.
He isn’t surprised to get a knock on his bedroom door at eleven o’clock that night, he’d suspected Nathan wouldn’t give in that easily. And while he’d prefer to ignore it, the knocks will only get more frequent and louder until they wake his mom and it just isn’t worth the hassle. So, he opens the door halfway, blocking it as best he can to point out just how unwelcome Nathan is in his bedroom these days.
“I’m not here to beg,” Nathan promises, leaning against the doorframe, his perfected ‘feel sorry for me’ wide-eyed expression preventing Lucas from slamming the door in his face.
Choosing to believe Nathan against his better judgment, Lucas raises his eyebrows and waits for Nathan to explain why he’s there.
“Never did say sorry for what happened. I mean, yeah, I said sorry, but I guess it didn’t mean anything with my pants around my ankles,” Nathan jokes half-heartedly.
Lucas isn’t amused. “Not really.”
“So, I’m officially the worlds most pathetic human being,” Nathan tells him. “I didn’t deserve you. I loved you with everything I had and it just wasn’t enough.”
Lucas frowns. “It was enough. You screwed up, not me.”
“No! I know!” Nathan quickly explains. “I just meant that…I was scared. I loved you too much and it scared the shit out of me. I never meant to hurt you.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain, I know why you did it,” Lucas says. “But you have to know that there’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind. It just proved it was never meant to happen.”
“You don’t mean that,” Nathan argues.
“Nathan, come on. We’re brothers.” Lucas’ voice quietens. “We knew it was wrong from the moment we kissed and it was only a matter of time before something happened to prove that.”
“Lucas, I’ve never felt more right about anything in my life and I know you haven’t either.” Nathan continues to protest. “Tell me its over if you want, but don’t pretend like it didn’t mean anything.”
Lucas relents, nodding passively. “You’re right. It meant more to me than I wish it had. But if I’m going to get through this, I need to believe it’s for the best.”
Nathan finds a small glimmer of hope in Lucas’ words. One he’s quick to lock in on. “You think if you tell yourself our relationship was wrong that it won’t hurt? You need me, Lucas, I know you! Can you really imagine living without me for the rest of your life? I know I can’t!”
“I thought you weren’t here to beg.” Lucas struggles to remain strong, especially in the face of someone who knows him inside and out and is currently pushing all the right buttons to get what he wants.
“This is killing me, Luke.” Nathan doesn’t care, he’ll beg, plead, get down on his fucking knees if it will make things better. Lucas is weakening; Nathan can see it in those tormented eyes.
“Please, don’t do this,” Lucas can barely get the words out; he’s so torn up about this. And he’d been so strong up until now. “I loved you so much and you broke my heart. I can’t let you do it again.”
“I won’t, I swear I’ll never hurt you again.” Nathan tries to reach out for the confused teen but Lucas just turns away from him. “I love you. Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll leave you alone.”
Lucas can’t and they both know it. “How am I supposed to know you won’t do it again?”
“Because…because I swear to you I won’t. I need you, nobody else. You leaving me made me realise that. I hate myself so much for putting you through this,” Nathan tells him, slipping inside the room as Lucas is swimming with confusion. “I love you,” He whispers, closing the door behind him.
“Nathan, don’t!” Lucas warns, his chest tightening in a mixture of fear and hope as his brother corners him. “Don’t,” He repeats, softly, his voice shaking.
“You still want me,” Nathan tells him, looking every bit as shaken up as Lucas. “Don’t tell me you don’t.”
“I don’t think I can do this,” Lucas whispers as Nathan closes in, their bodies touching as Lucas realises he had no room left to back up. He’s trapped. “Nathan…”
“Shhh!” Nathan urges, leaning down to kiss him. “Not gonna hurt you.”
Lucas closes his eyes, torn between wishing he could just disappear and wishing he could just forget everything and give in. He’s never wanted something so badly and been so afraid to take it. But when Nathan’s lips finally meet his own, protests seem so pointless. More than anything, they lose their power and he’s defenceless against the attack. He surrenders, kissing back with growing enthusiasm until the kiss begins to feel like he’s being claimed from the inside out.
Nathan breaks the kiss once he feels Lucas give in, smiling as the older boy seems disappointed it’s ended so soon. “Forgive me.”
“I don’t know,” Lucas whispers, desperately afraid to make a decision where both options are potentially as bad as each other. But when Nathan leans in and kisses him gently once again, Lucas makes his choice. He pulls back and looks Nathan in the eye. “I don’t want you to see him anymore.”
Nathan frowns in confusion. “What? Who?”
“Tim!” Lucas snaps. “Swear to me you’ll never see him, just at practice or if we’re out as a team. You’ll never be alone with him, you’ll never even call him.”
Nathan is far too relieved to give a damn what’s being asked of him. He grins as he pulls Lucas into an embrace and kisses him. A kiss that Lucas soon breaks once again.
“Promise me.”
“I promise, Luke. I’m all yours.” Nathan swears, unable to stop the huge grin on his face.
The knot in Lucas’ chest lessens, but he can still feel the pain of betrayal. Even having Nathan back in his arms can’t erase that. He wonders whether anything ever will.
*~*~*~*
Author: Angel Jade
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: slash, incest, angst, language, sex
Spoilers: S1
Pairings: Lucas/Nathan, Nathan/Tim, Lucas/Jake
Summary: Is it better to force yourself to trust someone you love or force yourself to love someone you trust?
Setting: S1
Distribution: If you’ve had my permission before, you have it now. Anyone else, ask first please.
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own the characters in the fic, nor do I make money from borrowing them.
Author’s note: Ah how I love a world where four guys on the same basketball team just happen to be gay and okay with it. Fiction is a blessing. Comments about how unrealistic it is? You’d only be stating the obvious.
Dedication: Thank you CJ for your inspiration! You rock my world.
Nathan’s a mess since Lucas ended their relationship. Knowing he only has himself to blame and no one he can talk to about it makes everything a million times harder. Being in love with your half-brother has its setbacks.
But while Nathan is heartbroken and more than anything, angry, over the way things have turned out, Lucas shows no such emotions. It’s yet another knife in the heart for Nathan, who can only watch from afar as Lucas and Jake mess around on the court after practice. Nathan can see Jake flirting from a mile off, the boy isn’t exactly subtle about it, but that Lucas would not only encourage the attention but enjoy it…? It hurts more than Nathan will ever admit. He’s jealous and it only succeeds in making him angrier. Without thinking, he storms into the gym, interrupting their little one-on-one.
“Luke, Whitey wants you. Now,” Nathan states, coldly, his eyes locked on Jake.
Lucas looks guilty, as if he’s been caught doing something wrong, when logically he knows he hasn’t. Still, he smiles at Jake and heads off to the locker room, ignoring Nathan as he passes.
Jake is oblivious to Nathan’s glare, too busy watching Lucas leave to notice. “I’ll see you later!” He finally turns his attention to Nathan, sighing. “Guess I better get back to Jenny, see ya round Nathan.”
Nathan watches Jake grab his bag and leave, giving Nathan exactly what he wants. Time alone with Lucas to make him understand.
The locker room is as Nathan left it, silent and empty. Except, of course, Lucas, who is looking around for the coach that he doesn’t realise left several minutes ago. He frowns and turns around, only to find Nathan behind him. He steps back and tries to pretend this doesn’t bother him. “Where is he?”
“He left,” Nathan admits, closing the gap only to have Lucas move away. “I’m not going to hurt you!” He snaps, hurt by Lucas’ determination to stay away from him.
“I know, I’m just...” He looks around once more. “Someone might walk in.”
“Never bothered you before.” Nathan smiles wistfully.
His heart sinking, Lucas sighs. “Firstly, it did bother me and secondly, don’t bring that up.”
“Why?” Nathan asks him, stepping closer, pleased when Lucas doesn’t back off.
“It’s over, Nathan, we agreed it was a mistake!” Lucas hisses at him.
Nathan shakes his head. “No, you agreed! I love you, Luke, nothing you can say is going to change that. We’re meant to be together!”
“Will you listen to yourself?” Lucas asks him. “You made it quite clear how much you love me when you cheated on me. It was a stupid idea in the first place, it’s not like we could have lasted. You did us both a favour. Now you’re free to continue seeing Tim…”
“I’m not seeing him!” Nathan interrupts.
“…And I can find somebody I can actually take home and introduce to my mom!” Lucas finishes, sternly.
“Your mom already knows me, problem solved,” Nathan quips, pointlessly.
Lucas sighs, sure he’s not going to get anywhere, at least not while Nathan’s being an ass. “We’ll talk about this later, I’ve gotta go.”
Nathan grabs Lucas by the arm as he tries to leave, holding him back. “Are you going to meet him?”
“Nathan, back off!” Lucas warns. “You’re acting like a psycho.”
Nathan immediately drops his hand, letting Lucas go. “I just…” He doesn’t know what else to say. “Lucas, please, just stay so we can fix this.”
Turning away so Nathan doesn’t see the conflict in his eyes, Lucas forces out his words. “I can’t.” He walks out, wincing as the sound of a fist slamming into a locker echoes from behind him.
Nathan shakes the pain from his fingers and watches the door close behind Lucas. He wants so badly to follow him and make him listen, but realises this approach isn’t going to get him anywhere. So, he sits down on the bench and stares hopelessly into the empty room, going over the scene again and again, trying to do things differently…as if he could.
*~*~*~*
Tim submits far too easily to Nathan’s demands, especially when they involve sex. It might be painfully obvious to everyone that Nathan isn’t in love with him, but for Tim it’s better than nothing. So when Nathan suggested he drop to his knees and use his mouth for something useful for once, Tim was happy to oblige.
Nathan doesn’t know why he lets himself get into these situations. But as he dragged the rough material of Tim’s jeans down over the pale hips and down to his ankles, he forgot to care.
It happened right around the time Nathan could feel his orgasm about to hit. He remembers sinking his cock balls-deep into Tim’s ass as the door opened and Lucas walked in on them. More than anything about that day, Nathan remembers the look on Lucas’ face that just about tore Nathan apart. He’d never felt guilt this powerful before that moment. Now it’s all he feels.
*~*~*~*
Lucas is determined to forget the past. He’s proud of how strong he’s being, despite how easily Nathan had torn his heart from his chest. But Lucas isn’t naïve enough to believe everything is going to turn out the way he wants it to. In an ideal world, Nathan would become the brother he’s always wanted and Lucas would find true love and live happily ever after. But even that’s a lie. In an ideal world, Nathan never would have done this to him. They’d still be together.
He isn’t surprised to get a knock on his bedroom door at eleven o’clock that night, he’d suspected Nathan wouldn’t give in that easily. And while he’d prefer to ignore it, the knocks will only get more frequent and louder until they wake his mom and it just isn’t worth the hassle. So, he opens the door halfway, blocking it as best he can to point out just how unwelcome Nathan is in his bedroom these days.
“I’m not here to beg,” Nathan promises, leaning against the doorframe, his perfected ‘feel sorry for me’ wide-eyed expression preventing Lucas from slamming the door in his face.
Choosing to believe Nathan against his better judgment, Lucas raises his eyebrows and waits for Nathan to explain why he’s there.
“Never did say sorry for what happened. I mean, yeah, I said sorry, but I guess it didn’t mean anything with my pants around my ankles,” Nathan jokes half-heartedly.
Lucas isn’t amused. “Not really.”
“So, I’m officially the worlds most pathetic human being,” Nathan tells him. “I didn’t deserve you. I loved you with everything I had and it just wasn’t enough.”
Lucas frowns. “It was enough. You screwed up, not me.”
“No! I know!” Nathan quickly explains. “I just meant that…I was scared. I loved you too much and it scared the shit out of me. I never meant to hurt you.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain, I know why you did it,” Lucas says. “But you have to know that there’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind. It just proved it was never meant to happen.”
“You don’t mean that,” Nathan argues.
“Nathan, come on. We’re brothers.” Lucas’ voice quietens. “We knew it was wrong from the moment we kissed and it was only a matter of time before something happened to prove that.”
“Lucas, I’ve never felt more right about anything in my life and I know you haven’t either.” Nathan continues to protest. “Tell me its over if you want, but don’t pretend like it didn’t mean anything.”
Lucas relents, nodding passively. “You’re right. It meant more to me than I wish it had. But if I’m going to get through this, I need to believe it’s for the best.”
Nathan finds a small glimmer of hope in Lucas’ words. One he’s quick to lock in on. “You think if you tell yourself our relationship was wrong that it won’t hurt? You need me, Lucas, I know you! Can you really imagine living without me for the rest of your life? I know I can’t!”
“I thought you weren’t here to beg.” Lucas struggles to remain strong, especially in the face of someone who knows him inside and out and is currently pushing all the right buttons to get what he wants.
“This is killing me, Luke.” Nathan doesn’t care, he’ll beg, plead, get down on his fucking knees if it will make things better. Lucas is weakening; Nathan can see it in those tormented eyes.
“Please, don’t do this,” Lucas can barely get the words out; he’s so torn up about this. And he’d been so strong up until now. “I loved you so much and you broke my heart. I can’t let you do it again.”
“I won’t, I swear I’ll never hurt you again.” Nathan tries to reach out for the confused teen but Lucas just turns away from him. “I love you. Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll leave you alone.”
Lucas can’t and they both know it. “How am I supposed to know you won’t do it again?”
“Because…because I swear to you I won’t. I need you, nobody else. You leaving me made me realise that. I hate myself so much for putting you through this,” Nathan tells him, slipping inside the room as Lucas is swimming with confusion. “I love you,” He whispers, closing the door behind him.
“Nathan, don’t!” Lucas warns, his chest tightening in a mixture of fear and hope as his brother corners him. “Don’t,” He repeats, softly, his voice shaking.
“You still want me,” Nathan tells him, looking every bit as shaken up as Lucas. “Don’t tell me you don’t.”
“I don’t think I can do this,” Lucas whispers as Nathan closes in, their bodies touching as Lucas realises he had no room left to back up. He’s trapped. “Nathan…”
“Shhh!” Nathan urges, leaning down to kiss him. “Not gonna hurt you.”
Lucas closes his eyes, torn between wishing he could just disappear and wishing he could just forget everything and give in. He’s never wanted something so badly and been so afraid to take it. But when Nathan’s lips finally meet his own, protests seem so pointless. More than anything, they lose their power and he’s defenceless against the attack. He surrenders, kissing back with growing enthusiasm until the kiss begins to feel like he’s being claimed from the inside out.
Nathan breaks the kiss once he feels Lucas give in, smiling as the older boy seems disappointed it’s ended so soon. “Forgive me.”
“I don’t know,” Lucas whispers, desperately afraid to make a decision where both options are potentially as bad as each other. But when Nathan leans in and kisses him gently once again, Lucas makes his choice. He pulls back and looks Nathan in the eye. “I don’t want you to see him anymore.”
Nathan frowns in confusion. “What? Who?”
“Tim!” Lucas snaps. “Swear to me you’ll never see him, just at practice or if we’re out as a team. You’ll never be alone with him, you’ll never even call him.”
Nathan is far too relieved to give a damn what’s being asked of him. He grins as he pulls Lucas into an embrace and kisses him. A kiss that Lucas soon breaks once again.
“Promise me.”
“I promise, Luke. I’m all yours.” Nathan swears, unable to stop the huge grin on his face.
The knot in Lucas’ chest lessens, but he can still feel the pain of betrayal. Even having Nathan back in his arms can’t erase that. He wonders whether anything ever will.
*~*~*~*