Didn't Have To Be

"GODDAMNIT! Get off of him! Get off! Son of a- GET OFF!" Lex's face was aflame, wet and livid. "Everybody, get OUT!" His entire body was shaking was rage.

Even as people moved back, quick and jerky, away from the body laying bare on the table, Lex continued to scream. Louder and more angry with every second that passed until everyone had left the room, and the metal door had slid shut with a soft hiss.

"AAAAAAAAHHH!" Lex's roar filled the small room, echoed off the walls.

He stalked over to the table, stood over it, looking down at angelically beautiful eyes. Eyes full of anger, fear, confusion, and hope.

"-Lex..."

"Don't! Do NOT talk to me. This is inconceivable." Lex spat, steeling himself against plush, pink lips that tried desperately to form words. "You have lied to me OVER and OVER again. You have NEVER trusted me. NEVER!"

Clark Kent coughed weakly, pressed his lips together, running his tongue over them. "I can't imagine why, Lex."

Lex spun around, hands fisted in the air above his head. And he forcibly calmed himself, immediately, lowering his hands to lay flat on either side of Clark's head.

"Oh, Clark. Surely you can't imagine that statements like that will do anything for you right now, other than waste your breath."

Brilliant green eyes shone wetly, and Clark sighed. "Lex, please, don't do this."

"Don't do what, Clark? We need to be prepared for what could come. Humans need to be prepared. And you, certainly, are anything but human." He smiled thinly, and leaned down, his face mere inches from Clark's. "It isn't torture, Clark. We're making necessary discoveries, in the name of protecting mankind. There are things inside you that could stop disease, heal people. You're not so selfish, are you, Clark, as to hold that back from the world?" He fought to believe that it was CLARK he was attempting to convince.

"Lex-" Clark shut his eyes at the smirk that lifted into stormy blue-gray eyes. "I don't want to die like this."

Lex stumbled away from the table, fighting the emotion rising in the back of his throat like bile. "Oh, come on, Clark, we both know you won't DIE."

He couldn't stand it. Being in the room with him. With HIM. Those fucking green eyes in that sweet face. That perfect mouth he'd wanted to invade for years. Fucking goddamnit. He'd won. He'd finally won! He moved, determined, over to the door and knocked twice.

The doctors, assistants, came back into the room. At the set nod from their boss, they picked up green tinged instruments and began the procedure. Cut a precise line down the golden torso. Quickly began taking their samples.

The screams were ragged. Within minutes, blood was trickling from his lips, and across his face; the force of his screams slicing his throat to shreds.

Lex refused to look, bit hard into his lip. He felt the tear in his mouth and sucked hard; he told himself it was that pain that was causing his eyes to fill. And then, the screams changed. Deepened. He felt his eyes pull towards the man; he saw Clark's face and felt his soul break.

God. He hadn't thought he'd had one, not anymore.

A rolling groan was dripping from Clark's mouth along with the heavy drops of bright red blood. And he heard that horribly torn voice.

"...Mom."

Lex's eyes slid shut. Too much. It was too much, and-

He pulled out a small, silver gun. Looked around the room, face blank, at wary, fearful faces, and shrugged. Shots, one right after the other, quick and efficient.

Every person in the room fell, dead or writhing in their own blood. Never mind that they had been working on his orders. He couldn't stand to have them continue living.

Stepping over two bodies, he moved to the table, and moved everything green and glowing into a large, lead box. Shut the lid, and began putting Clark back together, as best he could. Transparent drops slid down his face, off his jaw, and he did not notice. Couldn't feel anything but the horror beneath his hands.

He opened the opaque skylight, letting sunshine flood the room, and watched in awe as Clark's body healed itself.

Watched, as slick eyelashes parted, and anguished eyes focused on him. Lex forced himself to stand still as Clark sat up, a large hand covering his stomach, where just moments ago there had been a gaping wound.

"Clark-"

Stunningly beautiful. Clark Kent's face was astonishing in it sheer perfection, even with the obvious disgust emanating from the young man.

"How could you do that to me?"

Lex knew Clark's throat had healed, and the still-raw state of his voice stripped him of his last, thin veneer of impartiality.

"I stopped...I made them stop. Clark, I didn't-"

"You let them cut me open." Clark's voice was shaking, harsh and raw. "Like I was NOTHING. Like I was nothing to YOU. You became everything you never wanted to be. Why? Why, Lex? Make me understand. Tell me ANYTHING I can possibly believe."

"I can't explain it." Turning sideways, and walking to a silver operating table, Lex laid the small, still-warm gun upon it. He lifted his eyes to meet a jury of anguished sea-green eyes. Unable to turn away, he merely closed his eyes. "This isn't how I wanted things to end with us, Clark."

He felt Clark move up to him, and felt a soft finger turn his chin upwards. Forced his eyes open, and felt his knees buckle. His arms throbbed under the too-tight hands that clenched around his upper arms.

"This isn't the end, Lex." Clark's face was wet with tears, twisted in pain. "I know what you can do to someone you cared about. I can't conceive of what you will do to those you don't even give a passing thought to. It can never be the end with us, because I will always be ready to do what it takes to stop you. Always."

Lex felt a bitter smile twist his lips. "It was always going to be this way, Clark."

He hadn't thought it was possible for Clark's eyes to be any more pained, sad...and when they were, his entire body shuddered.

Clark sighed, shook his head. "It didn't have to be."

"Didn't it?"

"No." Clark's face was resolute as he lowered his face to Lex's. Brushed his mouth against Lex's softly. Reached up to wipe away a smear of blood. A flutter of air, small and subtle, brushed his wrist. Pressed something into his hand. "I loved you. I loved who you could have been."

Lex felt the air shift around him as he saw Clark disappear in front of him. It wasn't until hours later that he realized he was on his knees, sobbing, holding his mother's watch.