Stillness

Title: Stillness
Rating: NC-17
Summary: This is a Degrassi slash fic. It is centered on Marco and Dylan and takes place directly after the shooting episode Time Stands Still from Season 4 of Degrassi.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Don't own the song lyrics either. I'm such uh mooch!
A/N: This story is a little darker than I'm use to writing. I admit that I love fluff, but I thought it was time to try something knew and I hope that the readers enjoy it. The bits and pieces of lyrics featured in the fic are from the song Weapon by Mathew Good band.

These mindless games I've played with the fragile hearts of others are starting to make my heart feel stale. How many sorrys’ can one man say before they fall on deaf ears and become meaningless? I look back on all the scrawny boys I called faggot before I was graced with the nick name myself. Beating them down to build myself up and attempting to escape my own insecurities in my cruelty towards them.

Marco sits and stares out the window of my car. He says he doesn't want to get out of the car. He's been sitting, staring out the damn window for nearly thirty minutes now and I have no idea what to say, what to do. He asks questions I can't answer like, "Why Jimmy?" and "How could we let things go this far with Rick?” I can tell he feels guilty and maybe he should. Maybe they all should.

After a while I'm starting to get the feeling that my hand squeezing his and my obedient silence isn't helping. I try prompting him. "It's alright if you don't know what to say. In fact it is a rule in this sort of situation, not knowing what to say. Just the fact that you are there for him will show him how much you care. He needs that now, more than we can know."

"Okay Dylan," Marco agrees. He takes in some air and pulls his hand away from mine. "I'm ready."

Jimmy looks better than the last time I saw him when I brought Paige to the hospital. I wait out side of his room this time. It is far too crowded with emotion for me as Marco, Craig, and Ashley linger over Jimmy's bed side giving him hearty words of hope. My heart nearly tore in half for him when we discovered that he'd lost the ability to walk, although, it could have been much worse.

I wait and wait for him. The minutes stretch into over an hour until the lot of them is shooed away by a nurse that claims Jimmy needs his rest. "Weird that Hazel wasn't here today," Marco notes, as he takes his favored place with my arm wrapped around his shoulders. He snuggles close to me in the hospital elevator and I can sense the warmth that has been born within him thanks to the visit.

"Hopefully she's finally gotten some sleep. This whole ordeal has really drained her. Paige is crazy-worried about her," I explain.

"I can't imagine how I'd react if something like this ever happened to you," Marco admits.

I nod, but can't manage to bring my thoughts to my lips. When my mom had first called me- frantic about the news that came on TV right after the shooting- all I could think about was my sister and boyfriend. Luckily, I was able to reach Marco on his cell phone and my mother got a hold of Paige as well. The overwhelming fear that had entered my heart subsided quickly, but I never want to even imagine what could have followed that already horrible pain in my heart if something had happened to Marco.

The first time I held him after the shooting it was so precious- like it was the first embrace I'd ever received. I don't think I've been more thankful for any one moment in my life. It is one of the stillest memories in my head, like a snap shot. Nothing compares to it- except for maybe the face Marco made when I first entered his body. Both moments are un-forgettable.

"Dylan?" Marco asks, causing my thoughts to fall away.

"Yeah baby?"

"Can we go somewhere tonight, just the two of us?"

I'm taken back a bit by this question. When Marco and I are together it is mostly just the two of us, unless one of us states other wise, so it is rarely a phrase we use with each other. Unless, we are asking for something you don't usually just ask for out loud; at least not when you are in a relationship with the extremely bashful Marco Del Rossi.

"I didn't think you'd be in the mood for... "Alone time" this week end," I reason.

Marco shrugs. "I didn't either, but thoughts of alone time keep creeping up in my head. Is it wrong that through this whole situation I haven't been able to get you-know-what out of my head?"

"Not at all," I assure Marco. "Part of me has been longing to feel your skin against mine so badly..."

Marco blushes at my bluntness. "So, you think you can get the van tonight? We could go to that spot near the beach that you like."

"I thought you didn't like se- I mean "alone time" out doors," I question. "Last time you were all paranoid about on lookers."

Marco shakes his head. "What can I say? I'm in an out doorsie mood."

I smile. "I guess even prudes like you have to live a little fun now and then."

"Hey!" Marco exclaims and elbows me in the gut.

~~~

Here by my side an angel
here by my side the devil
never turn your back on me
never turn your back on me again
here by my side it's heaven

Later that night, beneath the stars and the roof of my parents van, I lay a top Marco. He moans and arches his back as I take his right nipple in my mouth. He shivers when I nibble on it just the way he likes it. I'm not very patient tonight, trailing my tongue down his torso in record time.

here by my side you are destruction
here by my side a knew color to paint the world
ooh
never turn your back on it
never turn your back on it again
here by my side it's heaven

I find Marco's cock hard and oozing on his belly when I reach my destination. I trail a finger up the side of his cock and dirty the tip of my finger with his pre-come. I put it in my mouth and lick it clean. Marco squirms just the way I like him too. I can tell from the wideness of his eyes that he is desperately imagining my mouth licking something else clean and who am I to deprive him?

Be careful, be careful
careful, be careful

I grip his cock at the base with one hand and I take the head in my mouth. I give it a good suck and I'm rewarded with Marco's gasp of pleasure. I try to take more of it in my mouth but he grips my shoulders and raises me from my position- signaling that he isn't in the mood for four play any more.

And you breathe in and you breathe out
for it
and you show it
how it makes you a weapon

I make my way back up his figure and press my body against his, causing us both to moan. He surprises me by wrapping his legs around me and turning us over. He places his hands on either side of my head and presses his lips very close to my ear. "Dylan- I want you to fuck me tonight. I don't want our sex to be slow and sweet and timid. I want it to be rough. I need it to be rough. I want you to make me hurt."

and you give in and you give out
for it
and you show it
how it makes you a weapon

I freeze, un-sure of how to react to this darkly intimate request; especially when it is coming from my Marco's lips. It is so un-likely of a thing for him to want. It is a little frightening- what he is asking of me. However, I have to admit, that it is also quite the turn on.

never turn your back on it
never turn your back on it
again

I don't have time to deny or accept his request before he's already un-wrapped the condom. He sits back on the upper part of my legs so that he can maneuver putting the condom on me and then applying a generous amount of lube to my condom covered cock. Shortly after this he scoots up and slowly allows me to fill him. I grip his hips and let out a ragged breath. It's just as tight and hot inside Marco as it was the first time we made love. I practically have to imagine Spinner Mason doing incredibly naughty things to my mother to keep myself from coming the minute I fill him.

Marco makes a bunch of those little noises that turn me on so much as he starts to rock his hips. My fingers are digging into his hips when he reaches for my wrist. He has me place my hands on the small of his back. I'm not sure of what he is asking of me until he moans out to me, "Scratch." I dutifully oblige, trailing my hands up his back, digging my nails into it just below his shoulders, and then I scratch my way back down to the bottom.

I'm so lost in the feeling of my movements inside of my boyfriend that I can hardly comprehend how brutally he wishes me to treat him. First, he tells me, "Deeper,” referring to my scratching. Then, he has us change positions again. He insists upon me thrusting in and out of him faster and harder. Faster and harder, until I feel like I am stabbing into him- cutting into his body; leaving tears within him that say in some kind of sexual, primal way that he has been marked as mine.

He comes quickly after I spiral into orgasm myself and in the wake of our exceedingly rough love making I am left feeling oddly guilty. I knew Marco had to be hurting. Why had I let myself get so swept up in our "rough" sex? I wasn't really so turned on by this... was I?

Marco lies stiffly next to me, hugging him self. "I'm sorry I got so carried away," he says in barely a whisper. "I just needed to feel something. I've been so numb- I just wanted to- you know?"

I stay silent because I'm not sure that I do know. Silence fills the car and I am overwhelmed by the emotions inside of me that follow. I can feel this moment taking hold inside of me- it is one that I will not be able to escape; another moment to add to the still snap shots inside my head.