Report Day

Report Day

Word count: 1435

Summary: No, instead John was required to read all of these reports, most of which boiled down to "Nothing happened on patrol" and summarize them in a monthly report.

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: John/Rodney

Slouching back in his chair, John threw his pen straight up and then caught it, over and over again. It was boring, but it was still more exciting than the reports he was expected to write.

John didn't mind the reports on the various planets that he and his team visited, even if some of them were marvels of fiction. But the military expected a report for every patrol, every action. Platoon leaders were responsible for those, and if that was all there was to them, John wouldn't care. But that was too simple for the military.

No, instead John was required to read all of these reports, most of which boiled down to "Nothing happened on patrol" and summarize them in a monthly report. And somehow, he had to stretch it out so that it covered all twelve pages of the report format.

He'd tried passing them off to Lorne, but these were one set of reports that his higher ups actually expected him to do. Lorne had actually been ordered not to do them for him. So here he was, a beautiful day outside when he could be practicing his swing, wading through stacks of paperwork. It wasn't fair.

Snatching the pen out of the air, he bent forward again, biting his lip and turning his attention to page five of the report he was working on. Five down, seven to go. He managed to get himself into the groove of report writing, to the point that when his office door slid open, he barely noticed. It was the sound of someone clearing their throat that attracted his attention.

He looked up, only to see Rodney leaning against the door frame. "Busy?" And oh, this really wasn't fair - that was Rodney's bedroom voice, the one he used when he wanted to get laid. It had been a long few days since the last time they'd had a chance to do anything, but if he didn't get these reports done now, there wouldn't be time to get them before the next time they opened the gate.

"Unfortunately, yes," he said, mildly amused by how put out Rodney looked. "I have to get these reports finished."

"I'm sure they'll be titillating reading for someone back at SGC," Rodney said, coming further into the room and letting the door hiss shut behind him. John couldn't help it - his cock sprung to attention at the petulant tone of Rodney's voice, and John had to lean back in his chair to give it room to breathe.

When Rodney came and perched on the corner of John's desk, he couldn't help but notice the way that his pants bulged. Rodney was half hard, and all John wanted to do was bury his face in his groin and suck him off till Rodney couldn't remember his own name. No. Reports. Reports had to be finished.

He turned a determined face back to the computer monitor, ignoring the fact that he could practically smell Rodney. His mouth watered.

"So, I guess you wouldn't welcome a distraction," Rodney said, more to himself than to John. John was ready to agree when Rodney slid off the desk and then pulled his chair back, opening up space in front of him. Before he had a chance to disagree, Rodney had dropped to his knees and was already unbuttoning his BDUs and pulling him out.

John bit back the gasp and tried to assemble enough brain cells to remember why this was a bad idea. Just then, there was a chime from the door, and he freaked. He couldn't not open the door, but he was too hard to tuck himself away. Rodney solved the problem handily, shifting into the knee hole of the desk and tugging at the chair until John got the idea, rolling forward. "Come in?"

It was Bates and Lorne, and for a minute John forgot about Rodney, trying to figure out what was the latest issue between the two men. Most of the problem was in a difference in priorities - Lorne had his own offworld team, and his priority was the safety of that team. Bates' priority was the security of the city, and to be honest, John didn't think he'd ever forgiven John for bringing back the Athosians.

"Sir, I need - "

"Sir, we can't do - "

As John tried to sort it out, he realized that he felt sneaky fingers where there shouldn't be any. It was Rodney, slowly sliding his hand up his inner thigh. John ignored him, only to have Rodney move even further up, light dancing fingers giving only the lightest possible touch. Bates and Lorne continued to argue, and John just listened as Rodney started to touch his cock.

Dropping his hand, he tried to push Rodney's fingers away from his groin, but they were stubborn, and unless he wanted to give the game away, he couldn't fight that strenuously. The sounds of the two men washed over him as he tried to keep control. Finally, he snapped. "Look, the two of you sort it out and leave me out of it. You're both grown ups - act like it!"

Bates looked like he'd been slapped, and Lorne looked like he'd swallowed a lemon. "Sir - "

"I said deal with it, major. That's an order. Find a compromise, or I'll find one for you." Lorne nodded sharply, and the two of them left the room. As soon as the door had slid shut behind them, he rolled backwards. "I'm going to kill you," he said to Rodney.

Rodney just smiled. "No, you're not, because you want me to follow through on what I was doing."

All at once, John let the fight drain out of him, slouching back in the chair. "Damn straight you're going to finish what you started." Rodney grinned, but when he would have said something, John threaded his hands into his hair and tugged until he bowed his head, licking a hot, wet path up the side of his cock.

He didn't take any time for finesse or teasing, just opening his mouth and swallowing John whole. John's body tensed, and it was all he could do not to yell as he was sucked into that warm mouth. Rodney gave the best blow jobs of anyone that he'd slept with - that big mouth being really, really good at giving head - and this was one of the best ones that Rodney had ever given him.

Within moments, he was gasping, riding the fine edge of losing control. Rodney seemed to know, and slowed down, teasing him slowly with his tongue and teeth, until John was practically sobbing with need. Without meaning to, his hands tightened in Rodney's hair, pulling him down his cock, and Rodney made a soft sound that vibrated down John's dick and right up his spine. "Please, oh, please, Rodney," he moaned.

Rodney took him deep again, swallowing around the head of his cock, and John let go, the orgasm rolling through him and leaving him limp and sated in his chair. Rodney grinned and used a hand on John's thigh to push himself to his feet.

His erection tented the front of his pants obscenely, and John reached out to open his pants to return the favor, only to have his hands smacked away. "It'll wait," Rodney said.

Startled, John looked up at Rodney's face. "But - " he started to say, only to shut up when Rodney bent down and kissed him deeply. He could taste himself on Rodney's tongue, and the dirty hotness of that made him moan. Unfortunately, Rodney pulled away just as things were getting really interesting.

"Okay, okay," Rodney said, tugging his jacket down. "I want you to finish your reports. When you're done, radio me, and I'll meet you in your room."

"Are you sure I can't help you with that?" John asked, pointing at Rodney's hard dick.

Rodney gave him a half smile. "You will be. Once you're done, I'm going to fuck you."

John's eyes fluttered shut and he moaned again, just at the thought of being pinned under Rodney as he moved in his body. He would never have admitted that he liked being fucked, but with Rodney, he loved it.

By the time he could open his eyes and force them to focus, Rodney was halfway to the door. "I'll see you soon, John." And with that, he was gone.

John took a few deep breaths, and then returned his attention to the computer screen. He still needed to finish those reports.

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