No Regrets

Song used: I'm Movin' On by Rascal Flatts


The business of getting to Stanford, claiming his award package for financial aid, meeting his roommate and trying to explain why he had only a duffle bag instead of the boxes upon boxes every other student was bringing took up most of Sam's time.

Reggie, his new roommate, was kind enough to insist he tag along with him and his family during the orientation day events.

But now he had his first time alone since he'd left on that rocky old bus. He sat outside under one of the large trees and observed everyone saying goodbye.

Sam watched as mothers hugged their children and fathers tried to look strong.

There were children running around acting wild and a few students who were glad to be getting away from the family, at least until Christmas.

Sam wondered what his dad would have done if he had been there. And Dean...

Sam smiled as he let the sadness overwhelm him for a moment. Dean would be salting all the windows of his dorm room.

No, he wouldn't think of them now. This was his moment. It was the beginning of the life he'd always wanted. He wouldn't feel guilty. Whether Dean knew it or not, this was the life he'd pushed Sam to want with all of his heart. He wasn't going to back down now.

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

Sam thought about all of the people in his life who had helped him discover a life outside of the hunt. They'd cared more than his father ever seemed to.

He knew he'd always be the baby whose mom died in his nursery, though. It wasn't a legacy he wanted to follow him for the rest of his life. He wanted ordinary. He wanted to be known as the guy who toilet papered the grounds of school on homecoming, not the guy who shoved a stake through the heart of a prom queen because she was really a vampire.

Sam cringed at the memory. It had determined he wouldn't graduate from that high school and they'd moved again. He didn't even like the prom king. He thought back and wondered if he should have just let the bitch snack on that stupid jock.

He sighed, knowing that wasn't something to be thinking about. It didn't matter anymore.

But now he was faced with this new feeling. He was known there as Sam Winchester, orphan. Nobody knew about his family and he was here as just Sam. Not John Winchester's son. Not Dean Winchester's brother.

He choked back his tears as that last thought hit him right in the heart.

He was used to being with them. With Dean. Now he was an outsider. He was the person who left. That wouldn't be forgiven.

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

He smiled as a girl walked past him and winked. She was pretty and certainly out of his league. She seemed to be more of Dean's type, but Dean wasn't there.

Sam stood as she dropped a lipstick out of one of her boxes she'd taken from her mother before the older woman had left.

He grabbed it and ran up to her. "Miss...Miss!"

The girl stopped and turned, gracing him with a smile that was nearly as bright as Dean's. Her blonde hair was a halo around her and Sam could only stare at her. "Um..." He held out the lipstick. "You dropped this."

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there’s no guarantee, but I'm not alone

She grinned. "I guess I did. You may have just saved me from having pale lips on the first day of class, Mr..." She let one eyebrow creep up, waiting for him to confess his name.

"Winchester. Um...Sam."

"Well hello Um...Sam."

And Sam laughed. He almost surprised himself with the sound.

There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

The girl bit her lip and Sam knew he was lost.

"So..."

She grinned. "So. I'm guessing you're new here, too?"

"Yeah, I am. I guess I'll see you around."

"Maybe, but....if you wanted to make sure....Uh...you could maybe be..." She stopped and giggled. "I feel like I'm in high school."

"Well, to be fair, you were only three months ago."

She nodded. "Good point."

"Anyway, I think you were about to ask me out."

She smiled. "You think so, do you?"

"Yeah...Yeah, I do." He knew he couldn't hide the blush.

"Tonight, meet me under the tree you were sitting by. 7 o'clock?"

He nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

He watched her walk away and then called out to her again. "Hey! What's your name?"

She turned briefly. "Jessica..."

She disappeared into one of the buildings and Sam wanted to jump like a kid. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and then stopped, his happiness replaced by a longing he didn't quite understand.

This would be the part where he'd tell Dean and the older brother would ruffle his hair and elbow him in the side and call him a 'dog'.

Instead, he just sat down again and wondered if learning to get used to not talking to Dean would break his heart before he could make it a habit.

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on