Whose baby is it?

Niki was sitting in her kitchen, and she recalled an event she thought she had long forgotten; the real birth circumstances of Micah.

It was a warm sunny day down at the farm, a pleasant day for a surgery. Gregory House was preparing for quite a dangerous task.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" He looked serious, but it could have just been all the wrinkles in his face making him look more tired.

Niki nodded. "It's strange, I know, but the only way to guarantee my son will grow up healthy. Please do this for me."

House nodded and knocked her unconscious with a palm strike to the chin. It worked just as well as it did in every ninja movie he had ever seen.

Now the farmer who owned the place was getting out the tools. It would be a long day of manhandling genitalia, and the two men sat down to prepare.

First, they had to extract the fertilized egg from Niki's womb. She was surprisingly loose, which was good for House who feared excessive blood loss.

Secondly, they sedated Arcee. She was a beautiful creature, despite being a cow. And she was going to carry Niki's child to term. Niki's body was unable to carry it after years of violent internet webcam sessions.

This part was more strenuous than he had imagined. He strapped his entire arm into a black latex glove. The smell of the cow's uterus was sickening. House watched a snail crawl by and was suddenly disgusted for no particular reason. The farmer nearly puked, but made a dutiful assistant.

Finally it was over with. For the next nine months Niki came to visit Arcee constantly, feeding her grass and keeping her healthy. And then came the magical day when the cow birthed her son into a soft pile of hay.

Niki sipped her coffee once more. It wasn't so bad an experience after all.