Open Arms

Lying beside you here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat with mine, mine
Softly you whisper
You're so sincere
How could our love be so blind

She lay next to him, their bodies like two spoons in a drawer, her bottom resting against his groin. One of his arms lay across her bare belly, his fingers drawing lazy circles in her skin as he slept, his other arm resting underneath her neck, holding her neck as if it was made of porcelain. Her hands held onto the fingers of the hand under her neck, clasping them tightly.

She could feel the strong but slow pulse of his heartbeat through his fingers. Letting one of her hands drop to her chest, she felt her own heartbeat and timed it to his.

Sara wasn’t actually asleep; she couldn’t, not when Grissom was holding her as if she was going to break any minute. And maybe partly because she was trying to convince herself this was real, that he was real. But the slow rising and falling of his chest against her back and the gentle embrace he held her in reminded her that he was real.

But even now, after an amazing evening, she still wasn’t quite sure what he felt about her. Sure, his actions spoke volumes, but she wanted to hear him say it. She wanted to tear down any barriers that he surrounded himself with. He could trust her; her heart laid completely in Grissom’s hands now. He just needed to figure out what to do with it.

“Grissom?” she called softly.

He heard him mumble against her skin, the vibrations causing her to shiver. He used his arm around her belly to pull her closer, planting a soft kiss on the back of her neck. She could feel the roughness of his beard against her skin as he nuzzled into her neck.

“I love you,” her voice no more than a whisper.

We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side
So now I come to you with open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms

Grissom wasn’t sleeping anymore. He felt his body go rigid and he was sure Sara could feel the response his body gave to her terms of endearment. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hear those words, especially from her, but that he didn’t know how to respond. It seemed so simple to just say, ‘I love you’ but responding left too much of him exposed; too much of himself to be analyzed, broken down and understood.

He didn’t want to be analyzed, especially by Sara. Because he knew she would work him, breaking him down to bare essentials and exposing him fully with no way to cover himself.

Maybe he needed that; maybe he needed her to analyze him. God knew that even with her strong tolerance around him, she desperately wanted to fully understand him. At the end of it all, she would find exposed Grissom, the one whose feelings for her went much farther than just a friendship; more than coworkers working together.

But being analyzed and understood terrified him. Even more so if Sara was the one to finally understand him. And it wasn’t that he didn’t care for her; he cared for her a great deal. Probably more than he could ever express to her. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be laying here, in his bed, with her flush against his naked body.

She had told him once she wished she was like him; unfeeling. The comment had stunned him. It wasn’t that he wasn’t unfeeling, he just hid his feelings well. He figured he always felt something for Sara that went beyond a friendship. And that realization scared the shit out of him.

Living without you
Living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you
Wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

His lack of response stunned her. Well, verbal response. She had felt his physical response- his entire body went ridged and tense. She could feel nearly every muscle in his body tighten.
Rolling away from his stiff embrace, she turned to face him. His eyes were fixed on some point at the edge of the bed, unmoving. She wasn’t even sure he if was aware she had moved away from him- his body hadn’t moved.

“Grissom?” she prodded again, this time her voice wavering.

His eyes snapped to focus on hers. They were searching, gazing over hers for an unseen answer. His hand reached out for hers, but she pulled back quickly, his hand hitting the cold sheets. Sighing, he drew his back and shifted his gaze towards the ceiling.

Sara didn’t know what to do. The moment she thought the shared before had shattered by Grissom’s inability to express his feelings. She desperately wanted him to just reveal himself; she had put herself out there for him several times, only to be shot down. She would never hurt him, she knew that; she hoped Grissom knew that.

Getting up, Sara crossed the room, throwing on her robe that had been haphazardly thrown against a chair. Tying the belt around her waist, she crossed her arms over her chest trying not to shake. She sat down, unable to stand any more and watched as Grissom sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. Sighing, he buried his face in his hands, just staring at the floor.

The floor seemed safer than looking her in the eye and seeing the emotion written on her face. He’d been careless with her emotions before, he knew it, but she intimidated him like no other woman had. He didn’t want to ruin things more than they already were by looking at her and losing the courage to finally explain himself.

She opened her mouth to speak, but quickly shut her mouth when Grissom shifted his focus back to her. He could see the disappointment on her face, shadowed by the moonlight streaming through the windows. His brow furrowed in frustration as the thought of the right words to say.

What do you say to the one person you want to have forever?

But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay

“Sara,” his voice was almost softer than Sara’s had been, “I’m terrified.”

Well, that wasn’t exactly what he had in mind, but he noticed her features soften, the disappointment on her face slowing easing away.

“Gil…”

He cut her off, “No, just listen.”

Pausing, he continued to stare at her, the gears in his head in overdrive, thinking of the words to say, “I’ve always felt something for you Sara. From the very first moment we met. And that scared-scares the shit out of me. I feel exceptionally inadequate around you, like you could find someone better than me. So I held that mentality and kept my distance. But you were always there in the back of my mind.”

His confession was refreshing. Suddenly six years of awkward side-ways glances, unrestrained smirks and uncomfortable conversations finally made sense. They had both tiptoed around their relationship as if it was a sleeping beast; one slight movement and someone got hurt. Finally the beast didn’t exist.

“Gil, I wouldn’t have chased you if I thought there was someone better. You know me, I go for what I want,” she replied, giving a small smile.

A smile formed on his face that matched hers. Sara got up and knelt in front of him, her eyes never leaving his. His gaze broke from hers, just for a moment, and then darted back to her.
“I, uh,” he cleared his throat nervously, “I love you.”

A large smiled formed on her face as she tilted her head up to capture his lips. He kissed back eagerly, his tongue darting out, tracing the seam of her lips. She opened up without hesitation, allowing him full access to her mouth, their tongues caressing and exploring.

His fingertips lightly grazed the sides of her face, lovingly tracing her jawbone, the shells of her ears and the long curvature of her silky smooth neck. Her own hands hungrily ravaged his already naked body, her fingers playing with the broad muscles on his back. He moaned into her mouth as he hands continued lower and rested right above the swell of his ass.

Pulling her up, he quickly removed the only barrier between them and tossed it aside. She stood before him, her naked body glowing before him. His hands found her body again, tracing the slight jutting out of her collarbones before leaning down and placing tender kisses on her flesh.

“I’m not going to break, Gil,” she breathed, her hands now in his hair, running her nails over his scalp.

He didn’t respond, simply dragged his thumbs down the front of her torso, feeling her muscle lurch under his touch. He let one circle around her bellybutton before continuing lower, both of them coming to rest on her pubic bone, feeling the heat ebb from her core. She gasped out as one thumb slid into her folds, rubbing her clit with soft circles.

She braced herself on Grissom’s broad shoulders as his fingers worked meticulously between her legs, moaning softly in his ear. His hot breath brushed against her cheek as he planted a kiss on the angle of her jawbone. Her legs tightened together, anticipating her release.

He smirked as she finally came, grunting his name into his ear. She glared at him with a lusty stare, pushing his body back into the bed. The force of her push sent her tumbling with him, landing on his belly, the length of his erection pushing into her thigh.

She caught his lips again as he flipped them over, positioning himself between her legs. His hands ran under the curvature of her back, resting at her hips. She bucked her hips at his, needing that sweet connection.

In one fluid thrust, he entered her, sending shivers down her body. She hissed at him as he began to thrust, the friction between their bodies deliciously electrifying. He tried to go slow, savor the moment, but he was unable to resist the slickness of her body and his own libido.

Taking one of Sara’s legs, he threw it over his shoulder, deepening the angle of penetration. Sara gasped out at the sudden change, each thrust nearly slamming into her cervix. As her hands traveled over his well-defined muscles, Grissom’s lips ran down her neck, over her shoulders, biting down softly as she grunted in his ear.

His hands moved in from his grasp on her hips towards their junction, pressing his finger against her already sensitized bundle of flesh. The pressure was enough for Sara to arc her back, crushing their chests together, the waves of her orgasm pulsing over his cock, her walls grasping tight.

He continued to thrust into her, dangerously close to his own orgasm, mumbling incoherently into her ear. Sara’s hands wandered farther down, pulling his ass to her, the after shock of her orgasm still pulsing through her body. She kissed his cheek, his beard rubbing against her lips. Bucking wildly, Grissom came hard, a throaty groan escaping his lips.

He collapsed, his full weight crushing Sara’s frame under his, his head in the crook of her neck. She didn’t mind; his hands found hers, entwining them. Smiling, she looked down at Grissom’s spent body, finding his eyes locked with hers.

“I love you, too.”

So now I come to you with open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms