The Forgotten

Title: The Forgotten
Author: Angel Jade
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: slash, sex, language, mild angst
Spoilers: 4x09 at the most
Pairings: Nathan/Tim, Nathan/Haley (vaguely)
Summary: Tim starts to feel like he doesn’t exist anymore, that Tree Hill is moving on without him, barely noticing his absence.
Setting: Pre-4x10
Distribution: If you’ve had my permission before, you have it now. Anyone else, ask first please.
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own the characters in the fic, nor do I make money from borrowing them.
Author’s Note: I realise Haley is a tad heartless, but I swear I’m not Haley-bashing…the fic is from Tim’s perspective, though it’s still third person (I think). Confused? Me too. Just go with it. And no, this is not a love story. This is about being used and abandoned but still loving the person anyway. Admittedly, this story started out as a ‘why the hell has Tim been sent away?!’ fic. Dunno what happened, lol.



It’s in the past. He has a wife and a baby on the way, his life is finally on track and Nathan can almost believe things are going to be okay after all.

For Tim, things aren’t as simple. He’s been sent away, barely given enough time to say goodbye to his best friend and even then, his parents watched them like hawks, just waiting for an excuse to chase Nathan off their property with a gun. Tim tried to tell Nathan that their secret is still safe, that his parents would do just about anything to keep this from coming out, but the damage had been done. He could see it in Nathan’s eyes as they awkwardly hugged. It was over. Even if Tim hadn’t been forced to leave Tree Hill, it would still have been over and Tim would still be facing abandonment from the one person he’d do anything for. It hurt. And it never stops hurting.

Nathan never calls him. Tim starts to feel like he doesn’t exist anymore, that Tree Hill is moving on without him, barely noticing his absence. It’s then the pain turns to anger. He lies awake at night wondering if Nathan is happy, living his dream life, while Tim has been taken away from everything and everyone he knows. He isn’t a genius, but then it doesn’t take one to realise the outcome isn’t fair; that he’s being punished while Nathan can carry on like nothing has happened. So Tim packs his stuff and leaves, not willing to be forgotten any longer.

*~*~*~*

Tim steps off the bus and grips his bag tightly. Being home doesn’t give him the warm, safe feeling he thought it would. It’s like a slap in the face; a painful reminder that life goes on without him. He feels so much older than when he left, almost as if he’s been away years rather than months. He leaves the station, barely enough money left to hail a cab to take him where he needs to go. Not home. He doesn’t have one anymore. He recites Nathan’s address mechanically and sits back, staring out the window solemnly, trying to picture Haley’s face as she discovers what her husband has been doing behind her back all these years. It almost makes him smile.

The cab pulls up outside and Tim hastily passes over the last of his crumpled up notes without a word. He gets out and stands there, his heart pounding. It’s almost enough to make him turn back. He doesn’t. That first step is the hardest to make, but each one follows like clockwork, until he’s faced with his next obstacle. The door. Just a few taps and the truth will finally be out there. He barely gets his hand to the door before it opens, leaving him standing there like an idiot.

“Tim?” Nathan is shocked to see him there. There’s a mix of emotion crossing his face, including, much to Tim’s dismay, fear. Nathan obviously isn’t all that happy to see him. “What are you…? When did you get back?”

Thrown by the question and more so by the sudden door opening, Tim has to kick start his brain to get it to work again. “Uh…now. Just now.”

Nathan looks back into the apartment, worry crossing his face. Tim realises he’s thinking of Haley, another blow to his already fragile heart. “Uh…come in! Haley’s just getting ready to go out. I mean, we both are. So, you can stay if you want? We can catch up tomorrow or something.”

Tim looks Nathan in the eyes, his jaw clenched shut.

Nathan drops his gaze and turns to walk into the kitchen, leaving the door open as a silent invitation. “So, how come you’re home? You didn’t get kicked out, did you?” He jokes, uncomfortably.

Tim drops his bag just inside the front door and shuts it behind him. “Didn’t get caught fucking any guys if that’s what you’re asking.”

Nathan’s awkwardness quickly turns to anger. “Haley’s in the bedroom.”

“That’s why I’m here.” Tim tells him, smugly. He’s always been so in awe of his best friend; always ready to do anything he was asked to do. Now he just wants him to hurt like he does.

Nathan walks over to him, grabbing him by the arm. “Tim, this isn’t a fucking joke, man.”

“I know.” He states, refusing to back down. “I’m not laughing.”

Seeing the cold determination in his best friend’s eyes, Nathan relents. “Can we talk about this? Just you and me?”

Tim hesitates. He can take anger and just about anything else from Nathan, but when he uses that tone of voice…Tim can’t help himself. “Fine. But there’s nothing you can say to make this better. You’re a…” He breaks off quickly as Haley walks in. Both boys back away from each other out of habit.

“Oh, hey Tim.” Haley smiles, barely acknowledging him before turning to Nathan. “We’re gonna be late.”

Tim wonders if Haley even knows he’s been sent away, or if she even cares. Not that it matters. Only one person has ever mattered to him.

Nathan casts a look at Tim, before giving Haley an apologetic look. “I can’t go. Tim just travelled all this way, I should really hang out for a while.”

Haley looks a little surprised, but finally shrugs. “Um, okay. Sure. I’ll call Lucas, see if he’s free.”

“Thanks Hales.” Nathan kisses her forehead affectionately.

Tim resists the urge to gag.

Nathan returns his attention to Tim, exchanging an awkward look with him. They wait for Haley to make the call and leave before finally sitting down, not quite facing each other. “Okay, I know you’re mad at me…”

“Shut up.” Tim interrupts, irritably. “I spent my whole life listening to you and look where it got me. I can deal with my parents hating me and being sent away as some kind of punishment, but you never bothered to call me. Did you even care I was gone?”

“Of course.”

“Right, because you look so upset about it.” Tim snaps, sarcastically. “You knew how much I loved you and you used me!”

Not used to seeing Tim argue back, or even see him upset, Nathan looks away. “I know. I’m sorry.”

This isn’t what Tim wants to hear. Part of him actually believed Nathan would be as heartbroken as he is. “Did you even miss me?”

“Yeah, I did…I do. You’re my best friend, man. But Haley…she’s my wife. And we’re having a baby…” Nathan tries to explain but the words just won’t come.

Tim understands and he nods, sadly. “I don’t even know why I’m here. Making your life as miserable as mine isn’t gonna make me feel any better.”

“Look, what happened between us…it was just you and me. You were there for me no matter what and I loved you for it.” Nathan adds, genuinely. “But I never told you it was anything more than sex. I thought you knew that.”

Tim looks down at his hand bitterly. “If my mom hadn’t walked in that day…would we still be doing it?”

“Probably not.” Nathan admits. “I tried so hard to stop so many times but you just looked at me in that way that you do and…” He smiles. “You’re hard to give up.”

Tim smiles back at him, for the first time in a long time.

“Yeah, just like that.” Nathan grins, pointing at him. “Makes me remember the first time we kissed.”

“Kissed? Groped, you mean! You were so horny I thought you were gonna fuck me right there.” Tim points out, laughing.

“Says the guy who gave me my first blow job while my dad was in the next room.” Nathan retorts.

“Which was your idea.” Tim reminds him.

“Yeah, it probably was.” Nathan admits. “But you enjoyed it.”

Tim can’t argue with that. “Can I stay here tonight? My bus doesn’t leave ‘til tomorrow morning.”

Nathan smiles and pats the couch. “All yours, man.”

“All mine? No sharing?” Tim can’t help himself. He really doesn’t want to get knocked back by Nathan, not now…but there’s such a large part of him that just wants things to be the way they were.

Nathan looks tempted, but finally stands up and drags his palm over his face helplessly. “It’s only going to make it harder.”

Tim shrugs. “We never got to say goodbye properly, thanks to my psycho parents.”

Nathan smiles and looks over at the front door, lost in thought. “I have missed you. More than you think. I just couldn’t risk calling you, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to let you go.”

“Thanks.” Tim says, softly. It means the world to know that, even if it isn’t the best answer he could have hoped for. “Forget I said anything. I was just horny.” He jokes, letting Nathan off the hook.

“You’re always horny.” Nathan answers back. “And hungry.”

“Now that you mention it…” He grabs Nathan’s phone. “Want some pizza?”

“You got money?”

He replaces the phone, dejectedly. “Being an orphan sucks.”

Nathan shakes his head amusedly. “I’d take your parents over mine any day, trust me!”

“So…” Tim taps his fingers on the couch, not sure what else there is other than sex and food. “Wanna play the Playstation?”

*~*~*~*

Nathan looks at his clock anxiously, counting down the minutes until Haley is due back. His resolve is slipping and he knows he isn’t going to last. Having Tim back in his life, even just for an evening, has brought up too many memories he’d tried so hard to forget. All he can think about is Tim’s offer of a ‘last goodbye’ and it’s killing him to sit in his bed alone, while Tim channel surfs on the couch in the living room.

“Nathan?” Tim’s voice calls from the other room.

Eager for the distraction, Nathan jumps out of bed and walks back in there, not particularly bothered he’s only wearing boxers. No doubt Tim is too. “What?”

Tim looks up at him from where he’s lying on the couch, a blanket barely covering his knees, let alone the rest of him. “Can I order porn?”

Thrown not only by the question, but by the sight of Tim lying there, semi-clad…he has to force himself to concentrate. “No, Tim, you can’t order porn.”

“Oh.” Tim puts the remote down and sighs. “Guess I should sleep then.”

“Yeah. Guess so.” Nathan hovers by the couch, not wanting to move. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Tim smiles at him. “I think so.”

Trying to walk away, Nathan only takes one step, before he turns and strides over to the front door, locking it from the inside. “This is the last time, right? Just to say goodbye.”

Tim sits up and looks unbelievingly at Nathan. “Huh?”

Nathan rests his knees against the arm of the couch, the look in his eyes saying it all.

“You don’t have to if you don’t…”

“Shut up, Tim.” Nathan interrupts, affectionately. He climbs over the arm and crawls over the other boy, pushing him onto his back, before leaning down for a kiss. “We gotta be quick, Haley’s due back in twenty minutes.”

“Heard that before.” Tim teases, looking up at Nathan lovingly.

“Get these off.” Nathan orders, snapping the waistband of Tim’s boxers. “We better hope I still have lube.” He climbs off and disappears, leaving Tim to eagerly drop his underwear.

A minute later, Nathan reappears with lube and a condom. Tim doesn’t like to ask why all of a sudden Nathan’s so bothered about STDs, the important thing is that this is actually happening and Nathan’s not too impatient to forgo the lubrication. Previous experiences have taught Tim that those instances are not the most enjoyable for him.

Nathan rips open the packet and hastily rolls the rubber over his erection, dumping lube onto his fingers haphazardly. He leans over Tim as he slips two fingers deep into Tim’s ass without warning. “We’ve got to be quick, just tell me if I’m hurting you, okay?”

Tim nods, biting back a yelp of pain. It all comes flooding back, the sensation of having Nathan frantically trying to prepare him while he simultaneously jacks himself off isn’t something Tim thinks he’ll ever forget. But that feeling is nothing compared to what comes next.

Nathan can’t restrain himself any longer. He pulls his fingers out and quickly replaces them with his cock, driving deep inside the other boy with one solid thrust. He pauses as Tim arches his back in pain, a strangled cry escaping from his lips. “You okay?”

Tim nods, tears in his eyes. “Haven’t done this in a while, remember?”

Nathan bites his lip, he needs this more than he realised, but he doesn’t want to hurt his friend. “I’ll try and take it slower.”

“No!” Tim begs. “Want it to be like before.”

Nathan begins to fuck him, slowly at first, but as Tim begins to moan in pleasure, he starts adding more speed. Soon, he’s thrusting his cock deep into the other boy’s ass, smiling as he hits Tim’s prostate and the younger boy cries out. “You like it when I do that?” He does it again, knowing the answer and enjoying watching his best friend lose control under the barrage of sweet torment.

“Fuck, Nate, can’t take much more!” Tim begs, his nerves alight with burning pleasure. “Need to come…”

“Go on, come for me…wanna see what I do to you.” Nathan urges as Tim’s hand wraps around his own erection, pumping his dick until he explodes and short spurts of cum shoot across his chest. “You’re so fucking beautiful when you come. I’ve missed this so much.”

Tim bites his lips as Nathan continues to sink into his willing body, extending his orgasm past all endurance. The tears in his eyes are no longer from pain, but he does everything in his power to keep them from falling. He refuses to embarrass himself like that, not when everything is so perfect.

Nathan’s grip on his hips tightens, a sign that Nathan’s own orgasm is about to hit. Tim clenches his muscles around the other boy’s cock, smiling as Nathan cries out his name as he comes.

“Fuck, I haven’t come that hard since…” Nathan breaks off and pulls away from Tim, looking down at his cum-smeared friend. “I’m glad we did this one last time.”

“Doesn’t have to be the last time.” Tim suggests, propping himself up on his elbows. “You don’t even have to tell Haley. I’ll get my own place and we can do this whenever we want!”

“Tim, stop it…” Nathan sighs, hopelessly. “It can’t happen, okay? This was a goodbye. You said it yourself.”

Suddenly everything isn’t so perfect. Tim has known the score all along, but somehow it never seems to sink in. He’s always letting himself believe things will work out the way he wants them to.

“I knew this was a bad idea.” Nathan climbs off the couch and retrieves his boxers.

“No.” Tim states. “It’s not. I’m okay. I was just being stupid. You never have to hear from me again if that’s what you want.”

“That’s not what I want.” Nathan explains. “We just have to stay friends.”

Tim nods and goes to fetch his own boxers, pulling them on and sitting back down. “I’m gonna take a shower and get some sleep. Suppose I should get back to school tomorrow. I’m gonna to be in a load of trouble for doing this. But it was worth it.”

Nathan nods, hesitantly. “You sure you’re okay?”

Tim forces a smile. “I’ll get over it.” He heads into the bathroom and leaves Nathan alone with his thoughts.

Shortly after Tim finishes his shower and Nathan heads in to grab one himself, Haley walks in. Tim smiles at her guiltily before settling down to sleep.

“You better not have ordered porn again.” Haley mutters as she picks up the remote control off the floor. She heads into her bedroom, wondering why the hell Nathan is taking a shower so late at night.

*~*~*~*

Tim leaves early the next morning, avoiding having to say goodbye to Nathan while Haley is near by. He doesn’t feel as heartbroken as he thought he would. It still hurts, but there’s no more anger. Tim thinks that maybe it’s finally sunk in that it’s over between them. It’s a strange feeling, but liberating in a way.

He walks to the station and waits an hour for his bus, watching numbly as people come and go around him, none of them remembering him. Tim wonders if he’ll ever return to Tree Hill. Doesn’t seem like there’s anything to come back for. His mind wonders until he starts thinking about a guy at his new school. Tall, dark, handsome…and the captain of their basketball team. He smiles to himself as the bus pulls up. At least there’s a reason to go back to school.

End.