Denial

Denial

Word Count: 2513

A/N Written for ladycat777, who wanted bad, dirty porn. I hope this suits!

Summary: John hated this. He hated that he wanted it, and he hated that he needed it, and sometimes, he hated Rodney for being willing to give it to him. But when he was tied up, Rodney's hands on him, he forgot all that.

John hated this. He hated that he wanted it, and he hated that he needed it, and sometimes, he hated Rodney for being willing to give it to him. But when he was tied up, Rodney's hands on him, he forgot all that.

Today was no different. John's voice had cracked in the meeting as he had described the carnage that they'd found on the planet, leftover from the Wraith attack, and Rodney's gaze had sharpened, eyes locked on him, mouth tightening. Rodney hadn't been with them, thank god, and had been able to listen to the report fairly dispassionately up to that point. John knew that as soon as they were alone, Rodney would be able to help him.

He just wished he didn't want it so much.

As soon as Elizabeth dismissed them, John was off like a shot, fleeing to his room. He needed a shower more than anything else, and he knew that Rodney would take his time in appearing, giving John a chance to refuse without words. Once they were together, it would be too late for no.

He took a long, hot shower, letting the water wash away all he'd seen and smelled while they'd been gone, but even in Atlantis, the water eventually ran cold, and he forced himself out. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he stepped out of the bathroom, only to stop short at Rodney sitting on his bed, face cold.

For a long moment, he stood there, staring. Rodney didn't say anything, still giving him the out. If he ignored Rodney, went and got dressed, Rodney would leave, and this wouldn't happen. It was tempting, and he almost took that step towards the dresser. But his hands acted on their own, undoing the towel and letting it slip to the floor.

Standing there naked, shivering, he cast his eyes down, waiting for Rodney to make the next move. It wasn't long in coming. "Kneel."

John dropped to his knees, wincing as a bruised kneecap made itself known. His eyes were locked on the floor, and he held himself still, trying to be patient.

Rodney was a big man, but he could move almost silently in the confines of Atlantis, so the first that John realized that he'd moved was when he saw his feet move into his line of sight. Rodney circled him, not touching, examining. John could feel his heated gaze like a laser on tender skin.

The first touch was a hand in his hair, clenching painfully tight, wrenching his head back. "You aren't hard."

He winced, knowing that that was the first rule broken. He started to reach for his cock, only to abort the move before he got there, knowing that that would only make things worse. "No, sir. Sorry, sir."

Rodney's mouth was a hard line, and John swallowed painfully. He had known from the moment that he'd seen Rodney that he'd be punished. He craved it, even as he hated himself for it, and he'd just handed a reason to do it to Rodney.

The release of his hair was almost painful in its relief, which was short lived. Rodney turned and walked away, sitting down on the edge of his bed again. "What are you waiting for? Get over here."

Swallowing down the response that he'd been waiting for orders, John started to scramble to his feet, only to freeze in place at Rodney's cleared throat. Looking over, he was shocked when Rodney said, "Crawl."

For a moment he hesitated. Crawling? Logically, his brain knew that it wasn't far, just a few feet, but the distance looked immense when he contemplated doing it on his knees.

He remained frozen for a long moment as his mind spun like a hamster on its wheel. He couldn't do it, he just couldn't, it was too far, Rodney'd gone too far. Then Rodney made a sound of disgust and John started to move.

It seemed to take forever, the metal plating under his hands cold, as he slowly crawled across the floor to where Rodney sat. Even as he crawled, there was part of him that was screaming at him, telling him that no man would crawl when he could walk, and John firmly told that part to shut the fuck up. If Rodney wanted him to crawl, he'd crawl.

Finally, he was kneeling at Rodney's feet, eyes on the carpet, and Rodney's hand was back in his hair, petting him gently. "I know it's hard, John, but you need this. Just let me turn off your brain for you." Breath hitching painfully in his chest, he nodded. "I see you're hard now, but you still need to be punished, don't you?"

John whimpered and ducked his head to rub his face against Rodney's uniform pants. "I asked you a question, John. Now answer it."

He had to clear his throat to get any sound out, but he managed to say, "Yes, sir."

Rodney released his hair again, patting his lap. "Come up here, then. You know the position." John swallowed painfully, and slowly climbed to his feet. Bending, he managed to put his ass in Rodney's lap, with his hands and feet on the floor. The position was awkward, and left John feeling exposed and helpless, which is why Rodney liked it so much, he knew.

There was never any doubt that he was being punished when this happened, and from the first slap, that was the case this time. Rodney wasn't as strong as Ronon or Teyla, or even John himself, but he was still powerfully built, with serious muscle mass, and the spanking hurt.

Even knowing that Rodney would continue until John reacted, he couldn't fight the impulse that kept sound behind his teeth. His ass already burned and felt swollen, and John knew that if he looked, it would be bright red, but Rodney's hand kept falling, implacable.

At the first blow to his thigh, John finally cried out. It stung even more than the blows to his ass had, and he couldn't pull back the sound. But Rodney wasn't done yet. "Spread your legs, John."

"No, no, please, sir." John begged, only to have a harder blow land where ass met leg.

"I'm not going to tell you again. Now spread them."

Whimpering, John did as he'd been ordered, only to have Rodney start spanking his inner thighs. They were sensitive, and even though Rodney couldn't get up as much force there, he didn't need to. Each slap brought a fresh set of whimpers, until the noise was continuous and John's face was wet.

When it finally ended, he lay there, dazed. His ass and thighs were on fire, pain throbbing in time to his heartbeat, and he knew that Rodney wasn't done yet. That had just been the punishment for not being hard, which was no longer a problem - his cock was trying to drill a hole through Rodney's cloth covered thigh.

"Off." Rodney gave him a slight push, and John slid off his lap to land on his knees on the floor. He couldn't pull his legs together because of the pain in his inner thighs, and for a long moment he knelt there, panting. "Fetch the rope, John."

This time, it didn't even occur to John that he could stand, and he crawled to the trunk that served as a chest of drawers, whimpers being forced out of him every time his thighs brushed. He brought out the rope, and then hesitated before reaching back in and getting out the rags that served as gag and blindfold. Bundling them all together, he crawled awkwardly back to Rodney and held them all out for him to take.

Rodney shook out one of the pieces of rope, and moved behind him, yanking his arms together behind his back hard enough to make him sway dizzily on his knees. "You said no to me. That's not allowed, you know that." John shivered at the sensation of the scratchy rope being wound around his wrists.

When Rodney released them, John couldn't help the reflexive pull that tested the rope's strength. When it held, he whined softly and dropped his head. He could hear the soft sounds of Rodney climbing back to his feet, and then moving around him, followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. He stared at Rodney's boots until he took his hair in one clenching fist and pulled, yanking John up on his knees.

His mouth opened without thought, even as his eyes closed, and Rodney's cock slid into him. With his hands tied, he was dependent on the hand in his hair for his balance, even as Rodney started to fuck his mouth with short, hard strokes that tickled the back of his throat.

It was too fast and John was too off-balance to allow him to do anything to make the blowjob is good. All he could do was kneel there and take it, moaning. Rodney's other hand landed on his cheek, encouraging him to tip his head back, and suddenly Rodney was sliding in much deeper, cutting off his air.

He should have panicked. He should have tried to get away. Instead, he stayed there, chest growing tight with the need for air, letting Rodney use him for his own pleasure. When he finally pulled back, the breath that John took was almost painful. Rodney let him get a few more breaths, and then slid back again.

With every deep stroke of Rodney's dick, John could feel more and more of himself slipping away. All that he existed for was Rodney's pleasure, and if Rodney's pleasure meant that John couldn't breathe, that was all right.

He could taste the slightly bitter taste of Rodney's precome, and that made him suck even more eagerly, wanting Rodney to spill down his throat, but with a harsh chuckle, Rodney pulled back and away, tightening his hand even more in John's hair when he tried to follow.

When Rodney released his hair, he swayed drunkenly in place. But Rodney had turned back to the bed, picking up the two small pieces of cloth. First came the blindfold, blocking out everything, plunging the room into darkness. Without being told, he opened his mouth, letting the gag be slipped into his mouth. Blind and mute, he knelt there, waiting for Rodney's next order.

He was surprised when Rodney's arm hooked through his, pulling him up to his feet, but then he was shoved forward and down, so that he was kneeling on the bed, his shoulders flat, his ass sticking up obscenely.

He couldn't help it, he started to tense. Rodney didn't usually fuck him, and John still wasn't used to it. But a slick finger slipped between his cheeks, tracing a trail from his tailbone to his balls. "I'm going to fuck you hard. I'm going to use you, I'm going to come in you, and if you're very, very good, I might let you come as well." Even as Rodney said the words, that slick finger slid into John's entrance, pushing past the resistance that tried to keep him out.

John whined, high in his chest, scared and turned on beyond belief. That's what he wanted, to be used for Rodney's pleasure, taken hard. That finger moved in and out a few times, spreading the slick around. It disappeared and then Rodney was pressed up behind him.

Rodney was still dressed; the material of his pants scratchy against John's over sensitive skin, and there was the sound of wet skin on skin. John tensed as he felt the smooth, blunt head of Rodney's cock pressed up against his hole. Pressure, and then he could almost hear it pop through the ring of muscle.

He gave him no time to adjust, simply pushing till he was all the way in. John gasped and twisted as far as his bonds would allow, as the feeling of being invaded burned through him. Rodney's hands felt like brands on his hips as he pulled John further back on his knees.

Each long, slow stroke passed over John's prostate, making him cry out behind the gag, and when the first slap landed on his hip, he shook. "If you come, John, I'll have to punish you again. You can only come when I'm done, and then only if I say."

Even though it was what John wanted, he could have cried. He was already close, and he didn't know how much more he could take. Even as he thought it, though, his body was tightening down, fighting his oncoming orgasm.

He clenched his hole, making Rodney gasp, and then he started to speed up, till he was slamming into John with every stroke, jack hammering into him. "Fuck... I'm close. You ready for me to come in you?"

John nodded, unable to do anything but try to brace himself against the onslaught. Rodney grunted, forcing himself even deeper into John's ass, and then with one last hard stroke, he froze, and John could feel the increase of heat that meant that Rodney had come.

He pressed back into Rodney, trying to get him to say he could come, but instead he just pulled out, leaning on John's back heavily as he panted. John whined, his cock painfully hard, and Rodney gave a dirty little chuckle. "You want to come, John? Do you think you've earned it?"

John whined again, and nodded. Rodney tugged on his hip, turning him over, so that he was lying on his bound hands. He couldn't complain, though, because Rodney had slid three fingers into his ass and was slowly pumping in and out. It wasn't enough, and he pushed back into Rodney's hand.

But Rodney just laughed again. When John felt a soft tongue run along the underside of his cock, he screamed, and when it pulled away he was almost sobbing. "Have you earned my mouth, John? You were bad earlier, I should leave you hanging like this."

With the gag in place, he couldn't beg, and he didn't know what to do. He frantically shoved his ass down, trying to take Rodney's fingers deeper, and nodded, hoping that it was enough. When Rodney's mouth descended on his cock again, this time taking most of it in a deep swallow, he cried out.

And then he was coming, hard enough that his vision whited out.

By the time he was sensate again, the gag was gone and he'd been turned on his side so that his weight was off his bound hands. Rodney was curled around him, murmuring quietly. "It's okay, John. It's time to come back now."

John swallowed thickly and said, "Don't wanna. I like it here."

Rodney gave another filthy chuckle and said, "You can visit any time you like, but for now it's time to come back."

As Rodney untied his wrists and undid the blindfold, John realized that he was feeling much better. Yes, he might hate this.

But thank god that Rodney didn't.

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