Denial

"There's only two left..."

"Should we save them?"

"For another night." I closed the bright green box. I suppose people would think that Sean and I were close friends.... And he'd really always been there for me when I need him... But as of late, I've been seeing him less and less.... I'm not really sure what's been going on with him, but I wasn't one to ask either, since I often disappeared for weeks at a time. I glared at a man across the street who was looking over at us. What? It was just a guy and his friend, hangin' out, around the graveyard, in the middle of the night.... There was nothing odd about that to us, we'd never really cared what other people thought about us. Some people even thought that we were gay, but.... I knew better than that, Sean wasn't gay, and I sure as hell wasn't. We sometimes acted a little gay, but we weren't. We were both extremely masochistic, and found that nobody else on Earth really understood the intensity of our dirty pleasure.

"Hey, you wanna hang out tomorrow? Like, at the club?" I looked over at him and gave him my goofy little grin and nodded.

"Duh! We haven't gone there in weeks!" I was already exicted by the idea, "I'll pick you up around six."

He nodded to me and we both luaghed hard. "Yeah, are you gunna bring the 'Stang this time Andy?"

I pondered his question and then nodded, "Yeah, this time I'm bringin' the 'Stang!" Yeah, I had a blue Mustang, it was pretty awesome... I had the windows tinted to 20%, so they were almost blacked out. Sean and I had been working on the 'stang for almost two years, and we had finally finished it a week ago, and we were ready to show off our baby. I looked down at the bright container on the grass beside me, "I'll bring those too," I nodded and stood up, brushing off my pants. It was time to get out of this place. I had to be home by eleven, and well, Sean had to be back at his place by three. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Hey, wait a sec!" I had started running for my old Neon, but skidded to a stop when Sean called, I turned on my heels and waited for him to catch up with me. He pulled me over and bit down on my collar bone, I gasped slightly but bit my lip. "Tomorrow," he nodded and let me go. I stumbled back and continued for my car.

With a wave I slid into the front seat and turned on the car, the radio was already blasting as I took off down the street. It only took me a few minutes to get home. I ran in the door and imediately headed up the huge spiral staircase that lead to my room. I was stopped midway up the stairs. Fuck. Mom was home. "Andrew, get down here. NOW!" Oh god. She was mad.... What had I done? It was only ten... I walked slowly back down the stairs and headed for the living room.

"I didn't break cerfue mum, why are you yelling at me?" I acted innocent, she'd undoubtably gone through my stuff and found the drugs I'd been stashing... Well... At least it wasn't a whole lot of drugs, just a couple of pills.... I looked carefully over her, reading her expression, she'd not found anything, that much was obvious.... But what?

"No, no, hunny, I'm not mad at you. I have good news for you!" She was to excited. I took another glance around the room... There were newspapers everywhere, magazines, and on everything were houses. Shit. Why hadn't I noticed this earlier... She was planning on moving out of here, but, I liked it here... I'd lived here since I was little, I had friends here... I was NOT starting over!

"You want to move?!" My voice cracked, I was going to cry if she did this to me. I forced back tears as she continued to ruin my life.

"Yes, we're moving! I've already got a house and everything!! You're going to love it in Washington!!" She grinned and held up a photo of the huge house she'd just spent money on.

I choked and then gasped and stopped holding back the tears. "I'M NOT MOVING! You're NOT taking me to Washington to live like some spoiled rich FUCK!" I ran up to my room and slammed the door. I was NOT moving. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed in the first number that popped into my mind, Sean's. I was almost hystarical when he picked up.

"Hello," Sean's voice wasn't questioning, he knew it was me. I was coughing and trying hard to breath. "Andy, what's wrong, dude, are you okay??!" he sounded worried.

I gasped and began spitting out words that blended together at parts, "Thatbitch is goingtomake me FUCKING MOVE!!!"

"What?! Move?!" Sean was nolonger worried, he was pissed. I gasped and nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me.

"She wants to move to Washington!" I whimpered into the phone, not really hystarical anymore, just freaking out.

"Talk to me in the morning, my mum is bitchin' at me, Andy," Sean sighed and hung up.

I cried myself to sleep that night, unable to wrap my brain around the fact that I was going to have to leave my bestfriend of sixteen years, and my home of fifteen years. I loved it in Tennessee, even if I did live in some little fucked up town, I loved it here.

When I woke up in the morning, it was around five, so mom wasn't up. I shoved on a pair of jeans with a rip in the knee, pulled on a tight black t-shirt, and slipped on my Etnies. I was going to Sean's, I didn't care that it was still dark outside, I had to see him. I slid into my mustang and drove away from my home.

It took me atleast half an hour to get to Sean's place. I parked my car at the corner of the street and ran to the side of the house, grabbed a small rock, and tossed it up at his window. He almost imediatly opened his window, I knew he'd be up. "Dude, it's almost six in the morning, what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you Sean," I whimpered and he nodded. He climbed down the ladder that was always beside his window. When he got to the ground I clung to him. "I don't want to move Sean..." The tears started up again and Sean held me there, in a comforting manor. I whimpered several more times before he let me go.

"Andy, what did we agree on, when we met?" he asked me softly. I thought about it for a moment... I remembered...

"That no matter what, we'd always be best friends.... Right?" I second guessed myself, but he nodded. How did we remember that, we made that promise when we were in the second grade.... We hadn't even been friends until the second grade, I'd lived here since I was two... He was eight when he met Sean, and they'd been instant friends, they were both seventeen now, but they were still friends.

"Exactly, Andy, we were eight, we're seventeen now, you'll be eighteen in two days, why don't you just get a place of your own so that you won't have to move, you know it won't be the same here with out you, but you also know that we'll be friends to the end. Even if we're a thousand miles apart."

I tried to understand what he was saying, but my mind wasn't really comprehending it. I gasped when I felt his lips hit my neck, but the gasp was elevated as I felt the familar peircing pain of his teeth biting down on my flesh. "Shit, Sean, warn me every now and then," I was breathless. That bite had been unexpected, not like the previous one in the graveyard.

"Why, it's always more fun to take you by surprise," he luaghed and I luaghed too. We really were an odd pair of friends, he was tall and lanky, I was short and pretty twiggy. He had long blond hair that fell just past his chin, and I had shorter black hair that hardly fell past my nose. His eyes were an amazing blue, almost a sea color, and my eyes were an almost stormy gray. He had a permant tan, and I was pale. We looked nothing alike, but we acted alike.

"You have issues Sean," I smirked and he nodded.

"You have the same issues Andy," he luaghed softly, "Let's go, let's go to the beach, watch the sun come up, like we did when we were little."

I looked up and him and then nodded, "Yeah, perhaps it'll be fun, we can remind ourselves why we love it here," I pulled him off to my car, which was still running. We both got in at the same time and took off down the road, swirving through the empty streets, like a couple of drunk fucks. I skidded the car to a stop at the beach and got out, Sean was close behind me.

"Wow, it looks the same as it did fifteen years ago," I looked over at Sean when he said it. My mind was screaming at me, but... They were words that I didn't understand, not even words really, emotions....

"To bad we don't look the same, we're not the same people we were that long ago..." I muttered under my breath and took off my shoes, I hadn't even bothered to put on socks, so I walked slowly to the edge of the water, letting it splash over my bare feet. "Everything is different now..... We've changed, our town has changed, our families.... Our--" He cut me off from what I was going to say.

"Our feelings have changed..." He was next to me, and I hadn't realized it. He pulled me over to him, pressing his chest to my back. "Everything is different now Andy..."

I was lost, what was he talking about? I was even further gone when I realized that his arms were folded around my stomach. Wait. What? I was so confused... "Sean..... What are you talking about?" I asked him, but my mind and body froze when I felt him bite my earlobe.

"I'm sorry," he spoke softly, and my mind kicked into gear. He was gay. He never told me. He was gay. Fuck. What was I supposed to say?! I stumbled for words in my head, but nothing came to me.

"Sean... I..." I couldn't think.... He turned me around, pulled me up by the shirt and pressed his lips hard to mine. I would have gasped, but, he was keeping me from really doing anything. My heart began to pound heavily, shit, what was I going to do?

"You're not moving," he let me go and I stumbled backwards. I was stunned by the sudden turn of events. I fell back onto the sand, my clothes were suddenly soaking wet. Shit. I scrambled back to my feet and opened my mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. I gasped sudden, trying to grasp something real, something remotely intelligent to say... But... Nothing. My mind was screaming at me, in a hystarical confusion I fell against him. He wrapped his arms around me, and suddenly I understood....

"I've been lying to myself..... Sean..." I whimpered, I finally realized what my mind had been screaming to me since I was thirteen, I'm gay, and I fucking love him. I gasped again, grasping my own sanity, hoping that this was all a dream, like none of this had ever happened. I just wish this day would disappear forever.