Fragile Balance Series

I don’t own these characters, no copyright infringement is intended and no profit is involved in the writing of these stories.

Part One is rated R. Strong warnings for part three.

Fragile Balance Series

Between the Scenes

Janet is certain this boy is Jack... uh, Colonel O'Neill. It's just so hard for me to think of him as the Colonel, when he's looking at me with those big brown eyes. General Hammond sent me down to the commissary with him, to give him something to do. So, I thought: Jello! And afterward, I'll hook up that Playstation.

He'll love it. He'll eat it up. What 15 year old by wouldn't? Of course, I have to keep reminding myself this isn't an average 15 year old. He's 54 year old Colonel Jack O'Neill, career military, leader of SG1, black ops trained. He's been imprisoned, tortured, seduced, married, had a child. No, this is not a real boy, sitting across from me, giving me the eye.

For one thing, he's grumpy and sarcastic, defensive and aggressive, all those O'Neill traits we've come to know and ... accept. But I can't help myself. When he scrubs his hand across his scalp and leaves his hair all messed up ... I don't know. It just makes me want to pull him into my arms and hug him.

* * * *

Sam's looking at me that way again. Damn it! I'm stuck in this boy's body, but I'm still me. And my 2IC is giving me this goo-goo look, like she wants to pat my head. Her idea of keeping me occupied is getting Jello. I can think of lotsa things I'd rather do, not the least of which is getting some better fitting clothes!

Of course, then I'd have a small problem, wouldn't I? Well, not small, exactly. Rather large, in fact, if I do say so myself. Every time Carter gives me one of those looks, my hard-on just gets harder

I remember what ninth grade was like... Constant stiffy. Always hiding behind my notebook, hoping no one noticed. Going home after school, jerking off, jerking off again. If it hadn't been for the college girl the neighbors hired to babysit for their kids, I'd have gone out of my mind.

She was tall, leggy, blond. ROTC, unusual back then. Fit, and unafraid. She caught me watching and took ... uh, matters, into her own hands. Sasha. Nice girl. Wonder where she is now?

There's that look again. Sam, you're killing me. I gotta get outta here.

* * * *

“Sir!” Sam watched, perplexed, as young O'Neill (what else could she call him?), stood up from the commissary table in an obvious huff. He tugged on his too-big pants to hold them up and turned on her.

“Carter, for crying out loud! Do something!” It was obvious to her that young Jack was upset, but she just couldn't figure out what to say to him.

“Sir, let's go back to VIP quarters and get your Playstation set up. Then you won't be so bored, waiting until Janet can figure this out.” She stood and smiled at him, putting her hand on his shoulder encouragingly.

Jack looked up at her. God, she's beautiful, he thought. And that smile, it could light the darkest parts of my soul if I just let her. Her lips were perfect. What he wouldn't give to see them stretched around his dick, while he pumped her mouth. Shit! Where'd that come from! This 15 year old body was awash in hormones. If he wasn't more careful he'd be up on charges in no time.

He lowered his eyes and nodded, hoping she didn't recognize that flash of lust. He resolved to be more accommodating, before he got in real trouble, but as Carter walked with him out of the commissary, down the corridor, her arm draped across his shoulders, his face mere inches from her breast, he had to practice deep breathing and recite hockey statistics to keep himself in check.

* * * *

I've gotten his Playstation hooked up. And he's been incredibly good, considering. He almost lost it in the commissary, but since then he's been pretty quiet, almost lethargic. I hope he's okay.

Young Jack seems depressed. I completely understood his frustration earlier, but now he seems to have just given up. Mood swings are part of the whole teen thing, but I'm worried about him.

He just lies there stretched out on the bed, his hands behind his head, feet crossed at the ankles. He watched me for a while. It was a little unnerving to see Jack O'Neill's intensity in the eyes of a boy, but now his eyes are closed. I wonder if he's asleep.

* * * *

I can smell her. It's taking all my self-control to keep still here, because if I let my hormonally-charged, teenage body dictate my actions, I'd have her bent over that console so fast. Yeah, that would be good. Strip off her BDUs and fuck her on the Playstation.

I am so FUBAR here. On the one hand, I have all the feelings I've always had for Major Samantha Carter. I trust her with my life. I love her. I want her. On the other hand, I have a sex-obsessed 15 year old body, which would do almost anything to get Sam to pop my cherry, so to speak.

And then there are those regs. Do they even apply here?

* * * *

“It's ready to go, sir,” Sam said, turning to him. “Wanna give it a go?” She offered him the joystick.

Young Jack sat up, opening his eyes. When he looked at her, she took a sharp breath. “Sir?” His intensity, his look of sheer misery made her come over to him, sit down next to him on the bed. She put her arm around his thin shoulders. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

His head hung down between his shoulder blades. He heaved a huge sigh. “Carter, I'm so miserable.” His voice hitched slightly.

Without a second thought, Sam put her other arm around him and gathered him to her chest. She pulled him tight against her and strengthened her arms around him, enclosing him. He turned his face to the side, resting his cheek on her breasts, breathing in her scent. Her hand stroked his back, cupping the back of his neck and holding his head gently.

“It's okay,” she said, stroking the hair on the back of his head. He snuggled against her breasts, rubbing his nose in her cleavage, his arms circling her waist and drawing himself even closer.

Sam's arms dropped suddenly, slipping away from him. She went to pull her body back too, but he was holding her fast. When she moved back, he went with her, over-balancing them both and falling on top of her.

“Sir!” she hissed. Sprawled on top of her was a scrawny teenager with, what she now recognized as a huge hard-on. “Jack! Get off!” Sam squirmed under him, loath to push him off, fearful of hurting him. Her movements seemed to inflame him. His hands rose to touch her breasts and his teeth closed over her nipple.

For a brief moment, Sam succumbed to the sensation he evoked in her, tugging on her nipple, sending ripples of pleasure through her body, but the absurd unreality of it quickly reasserted itself and she shoved him off her. “No Jack! Not like this,” she said, as she moved to stand.

On his feet in front of her, he breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling rapidly. His fists were clenched. She recognized the danger of his mood. If this had been her Colonel, she would have been in trouble. She knew she'd have no difficulty taking this kid, if she had to, but she also realized that he was in a fragile state of mind, balancing between the man he was when he went to bed last night, and the child he had become once he awakened.

“Jack... it's okay.” She moved toward him, to touch his shoulder. He shied away, stepping back.

“Stay away from me, Carter. I'm not safe.” He turned his back on her, head down, shoulders slumped.

Sam recognized the body language of shame. She didn't wish that on anyone. She'd felt her share of that emotion as a girl, too smart to be popular, to pretty to be ignored. The older guys hit on her. The ones her age were scared of her. When she finally allowed herself to love someone, he turned out to be crazy.

She reached out and touched young Jack's shoulder. He flinched. She moved to put her hand on his other shoulder. She slipped her arms around him from behind, holding him gently. “It really is okay, Jack. I'm not mad. In fact, I understand what's going on here, better than you know.”

He turned to face her. Her arms dropped to her sides. “Do you?” he shouted in her face. “Well, why don't you let me in on it, then.” Defeated, he sat down heavily on the bed, head in his hands.

“You're 15 years old and you feel everything a teenage boy does, all the feelings and urges.” Sam rolled her eyes a little. Then she continued. ”You're also the leader of SG1, with all the responsibilities of his team, Jack O'Neill, my friend.” He looked up at her. Her eyes shimmered and he thought he saw tears collecting in her bottom lashes. Instead, she smiled at him.

“Too damn smart, Samantha,” he said. He gave her a slight smile. She moved to sit down next to him, but thought better of it. She pulled over a chair and sat down, leaning forward, elbows on her knees.

“Look, sir,” she said, emphasizing his rank, “Janet will figure this out, and you'll be fine, but until then, you gotta relax and try not to get so down.”

“Will you stay with me, Sam?” he asked, his voice hopeful. She nodded.

“As long as I can.” He patted the bed next to him, inviting her to return to his side. “You gotta promise me, Jack, that there will be no more of that...” she gestured with her hands wildly. He nodded and sat back on the pillows, stretching his legs out in front of him. She went around to the other side of the bed and sat down next to him, sliding her legs next to his.

“Of all the ways I imagined getting you in bed with me, Sam,” he said, “I never thought it would be like this.”

“Me neither,” she said, taking his hand and squeezing it.

* * * *

The Asgard scientist Loki explained what he'd done to young Jack... uh, the Colonel's clone, and Thor corrected the problem. We have our Colonel back and the boy's decided to leave the mountain, and try to have a new life as Jonathan O'Neill.

It's hard for me to fathom why Jack O'Neill might want to go back to high school, but he came by my lab earlier and tried to explain it to me before he left. He was very sweet and very excited about the possibilities of his new life. I guess I've never considered what it might be like to be able to start over, knowing what I already know, able, perhaps, to avoid the same mistakes I made the first time.

He was optimistic. It was strange to see that emotion on his face, but I liked it. It was as if he was letting go of all the old, bad stuff and hoping for the future to be better. The pain of losing Charlie and Sara, the deaths he'd seen and been responsible for, the torture, the injuries, he was letting it all go.

In front of him he saw high school. It wasn't the Stargate, but it was a challenge, and he didn't want to mess it up. He was embracing the best of his 15 year old self, secure in the knowledge brought by a lifetime of experience. He was really psyched.

* * * *

Thank you, Thor! My little grey buddy came through for me, saved me. I met my “original”. Not the nicest of guys, but — hey! — I'm not him. Not anymore.

The military gave me a number of options, but this one, going back to high school, trying to have a real life, seemed the best opportunity. I know I would have been good at teaching at the Academy, but I'm 15! Give me a break!

This time, I'm going to enjoy myself. I don't have to worry about passing my classes. No sweat. I won't be intimidated by the teachers or principal, because I recognize them for what they are: mealy-mouthed wannabees who don't really know their asses from their elbows. And the honeys! This time, I'm going to know what I'm doing. Yep, I'll be the most popular boy in ninth grade.

My serious regret is giving up SG1. I'm gonna miss Daniel and Teal'c. They said they'd check up on me from time to time, and I'm sure they will. I'll miss the Stargate and the missions. But it's Carter, I'm not sure about. When I left, I told her all the things I knew she wanted to hear, most of which I truly believe, but...

I didn't tell her I love her, and now I won't get the chance. I gave her a hug before I left, but what I really wanted to do was kiss her, taste her, know her before I had to give her up maybe forever. That's my biggest regret. Sam will never know that she is the great love of my life. I only hope that asshole I left behind, my “original”, tells her, because if he doesn't, I'm coming back in ten years to claim her.