This Is Not My Home

Title: This Is Not My Home
Rating: NC17, slash
Author: Chissy_Rose
Pairing: Jack & Sawyer
Setting: After Season 2 Finale
Spoilers: Plenty for Season 2 and the Finale, so if you don’t want to know, don’t read this yet.
Summary: Speculation on what happens next. Jack and Sawyer locked in a room together with nowhere to go find they are what each other is looking for.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Lost or these characters and do not profit from this. They’re not mine but I like to play with them. No infringement intended.


Jack woke up slowly and tried not to move around. He wasn’t sure where he was and he didn’t want to alert anyone to the fact he was conscious now. His head ached slightly and he was having trouble focusing initially. His hands were still bound behind him. Thank God he didn’t have that damn gag in his mouth now. Both sides of his mouth hurt. He didn’t hear anyone else moving or making any noise. He tried to remember what had happened to him prior to waking up here. The last events he could remember was being tied up, gagged and captive on his knees with Sawyer and Kate at a place his captors called Pala Ferry. His knees were still aching from being forced to kneel on them on the dock. He angrily remembered Michael getting on board a small boat with Walt and leaving them there as prisoners. He also remembered that an “Other” woman named Bea had let Hurley go telling him to warn the other survivors not to come there seeking them. He remembered the men with the guns pointed at them and the man they had known as Henry Gale seeming to be in charge. It gave Jack a sick feeling in his stomach. Henry Gale had said that he, Kate and Sawyer were “coming home with them.” Jack remembered the last thing he saw was Kate and Sawyer as they had slipped a rough burlap bag over his head, but the very last thing he remembered was the smell of chloroform being pressed into his face through the bag. There was no way to know how long he’d been out or how far they had carried them from Pala Ferry. He guessed they didn’t want to give them any clues as to their whereabouts now. He heard a low quiet groan behind him and recognized it was Sawyer. Jack rolled over onto his other side so he could see Sawyer. He was about a foot away from him now. He whispered Sawyer’s name, but got no response. Jack glanced around the room trying to see what was in the room with them. There wasn’t much. There looked to be a few plastic bottles of water, some rolls of toilet paper and a couple of large gross looking buckets that he guessed were their toilets. Jack said Sawyer’s name a little louder this time and got no response. Jack had so many things running through his mind and most of them scared him. He should have known that the “Others” would capture them in spite of their awareness they were in danger. Ana Lucia had said that they had taken three people on one occasion and nine others right out of their camp at night and they’d been unable to stop them. He should have realized sooner that Michael wasn’t leading them back to where he’d said. These “Others” seemed to have a lot of things at their disposal despite how they looked. Tranquilizer darts were a fairly sophisticated thing to have and they had only one purpose, to bring a man or animal down rapidly. Jack took his left leg and put it over the top of Sawyer and began to shake him with it while he called his name again.

Sawyer groaned loudly this time, opened his eyes but seemed unfocused. “What the hell happened?” he muttered as he licked the raw sides of his lips and grimaced. Jack smiled, he was really glad that Sawyer was conscious now. He worried about where Kate was and what they might be doing to her.

“Hey,” Jack said quietly, “how are you feeling? Does anything feel broken?”

“My head hurts like a son-of-gun and my guts feel real sore. Musta been that damn guy kneeing me on the docks. My vision’s not too good at the moment either. I feel bruised up a lota places I don’t remember getting hurt. How’re you doing Jack? Where’s Kate?”

“I’m basically ok, but I’m bruised up too. They chloroformed us after they put the bags over our heads. I don’t remember anything happening after that until I woke up in this room. I haven’t seen or heard Kate. There’s no telling how far away they took us, we weren’t conscious so we don’t know how long we traveled. We might not even be on the island any more. What in the hell do they want with us? Why us three?” Jack asked.

“I don’t know. But I’m with you. These people are crazy SOBs. I feel like a damn prisoner of war.”

“I think that’s exactly what they want us to feel like. We’re at their mercy now.” Jack said quietly.

They heard voices approaching outside the door and they both turned so they could see the doorway better. The door opened and four men with guns came into the room. The men came over and rolled Jack back onto his stomach. He felt a handcuff snap into place on one wrist, “What are you doing?” he asked alarmed. “Shut up and do as you’re told or you’ll be sorry,” one of the men spit out as he cut the rope between Jack’s wrist, spun him onto his back and snapped the handcuff into place on his other wrist. Now both his hands were in handcuffs linked with a two foot chain, but they were in front of him now. He rubbed his arms trying to take some of the pain out of them. “Back up against the wall and stay there, be cooperative, don’t move and don’t talk if you want to get anything to eat today.” Jack frowned but scooted back against the adobe wall. One of the men put his foot down on Sawyer’s back. They were obviously expecting him to cause trouble. They snapped the first handcuff on one wrist and Sawyer attempted to roll over and away. He really didn’t want the handcuffs on him; he knew from past experience what they were like. Another of the men stepped down on his arm trying to hold him flat against the floor. Jack cringed and gasped “Oh no!” He saw it coming before it happened. One of the men standing at Sawyer’s feet pulled back and kicked him in the balls hard. Sawyer’s scream was blood-curdling. He was shaking and he curled up in a fetal position, with his hands still tied behind him, gasping for air, tears streaming out of his eyes. Jack yelled his name, and one of the men racked a round into his gun and pointed it at Jack telling him to stay there. Two of the men took Sawyer by his wrists and they cut the rope and forced his hands in front of him and handcuffed the second hand. “You’d better learn real quick boy to mind us or we’ll make your life a living hell.” “Yeah,” the man who’d kicked him chimed in, “We might decide to visit you every night for a little southern ass. Look at this room good boys. It’s easy to restrain someone here. And the boss won’t care if we have our way with you.” They all snickered as they backed out and locked the door. “You don’t get any food tonight. Maybe you’ll mind better tomorrow if you get hungry enough.” Jack was looking around in the room in earnest now. He hadn’t noticed before that the room was full of eye-bolts, on the walls, in the ceiling, and even in the floor. They weren’t kidding; the room was set up for restraint. Jack was on his feet as the door was closing and he went and kneeled down next to Sawyer. Sawyer was almost not breathing and was crying. Jack knew he was in a lot of pain, but there wasn’t much he could do right now except empathize. He reached down and brushed the hair out of Sawyer’s face. “I’m so sorry…I’ve been accidentally kicked hard in the balls like that before and I passed out. They’re bastards for kicking you in the balls.” Sawyer was moaning like he was dying. Jack sat down next to him and put Sawyer’s head on his leg and rubbed his back lightly with his hand. He knew the pain was probably getting worse now after the initial shock had passed. He ran his hand into his hair and stroked his head, trying to soothe him. “Oh fuck!” Sawyer whimpered, “Shit!” Jack could feel him still shaking from the pain. Jack stroked his hair and thought about how silky it felt. He didn’t say anything to Sawyer for a long time, but continued to caress his head or back to soothe him. Finally Sawyer got up on his hands and knees and just stayed like that for a while. Jack got up and went over and got some water for both of them and came back and handed one to Sawyer. Sawyer asked for a hand up and Jack helped him up. Sawyer walked slowly over to the wall, leaned up against it gingerly and drank some of the water. Jack went over to the door to inspect it better. It was a solid wood door with a peep hole and a hole cut in the bottom of the door about four inches high and less than two feet across. That was probably how they were going to get their meals and water to them if they didn’t want contact with them. There was no door knob on the inside just a groove to pull against if the door was unlocked. He’d heard the deadbolt click over when they’d left. There was no way to pick a lock; there wasn’t one on this side. The walls appeared to be very thick, maybe one foot thick. There were three tiny 1x1 foot windows spread out over the outer wall but they were so high all you could see was sky. It was dismal and depressing all around. Sawyer watched Jack walk around the room trying to figure out if there was any way they could get out of this room. “There ain’t no way outa here except by that door is there? And we gotta wait for them to open it.” Sawyer spoke quietly.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. We’d have a much better chance of getting away from here if we weren’t in a room like this. There’s nothing to work with.” Jack sat down against the wall near Sawyer. “This is awful. We don’t even have mattresses to sleep on or a decent bathroom.”

“They’re trying to break us down and make us submissive to do whatever they want us to.” Sawyer thought things looked pretty bad too. “I got issues with two of them now and I’m gonna equalize the tables if I get the chance.”

“You’ve got bad short term memory Sawyer. You don’t remember what they said after they kicked you in the balls? They said they’d basically come back at night and rape you if you didn’t cooperate. They still might kill us. You better be thinking about survival first and revenge later. Don’t be talking crap like that around them.” Jack was concerned Sawyer was going to get them both in worse trouble. He figured they needed to play the game some and not fight them. They could bide their time until they got an opportunity to escape. The room was getting darker now as the sun was setting. There was a little light coming in from the hallway through the hole in the door, but they barely had enough light to see where the buckets they’d be using for bathrooms were.

“This is awful.” Jack mused. “At least we fed Henry Gale and he had a mattress to sleep on.”

“At least we still got each other for company. That’s something. Kate’s probably somewhere by herself wondering what the hell they’ve done to us. She’s gotta be real lonesome and scared by now.” Sawyer’s stomach growled from hunger. He wished now he hadn’t made a show of resisting. It had cost him and Jack both their dinner. He took another big drink of the water hoping he’d have some sensation of being full.

Jack reached down and put his hand flat on the floor, “This floor is cold and damp. We’re going to be cold sleeping on this and feel like hell when we get up in the morning. Damn, I wish they’d at least given us mattresses or a blanket.”

“Well maybe we could sleep back to back; at least we’d share some body heat. I don’t know about you, but I don’t sleep worth a damn sitting up.” Sawyer suggested, thinking he probably wasn’t going to get much sleep anyway in these conditions. Jack nodded yes, thinking it might help some. Jack had on his sleeveless t-shirt which he regretted now. At least Sawyer had on long sleeves. They sat down against the outer wall and talked for a while about Hurley and wondered if he’d gotten back to their campsite yet and whether anyone would come looking for them. They thought probably Sayid, Locke and Jen might look for them, maybe one or two more, but they both agreed it was possible they weren’t even on the same island any more. Finally Sawyer said he was going to lie down and see if he could sleep some. The room only had the dimmest light coming from the hallway and it was dark now. Sawyer stretched out on the floor and turned on his side, resting his head on his right arm. Jack lay down next to Sawyer pressing his back up against Sawyer’s. He already felt cold on the floor. Having Jack pressed up against his back made Sawyer more awake, he liked it, but was having trouble getting his mind to switch off so he could drift off to sleep. He’d fantasized about sleeping with Jack before but not under circumstances like this. After about a half hour he had almost drifted off to sleep when he became aware than Jack was shivering. Jack was a runner. He was lean and muscular but had little body fat, which would have been helpful in a situation like this. Jack rolled over and put his left arm over Sawyer’s body and his left leg over Sawyer’s right. It took Sawyer by surprise and his breathing hitched.

“I’m freezing, ‘s alright?” Jack whispered. “It’s okay,” Sawyer breathed back. He could feel how cold Jack’s arm was, he didn’t even have long sleeves like he did. Sawyer grabbed Jack’s arm and put it underneath his left arm. He pulled Jack’s hand around to his chest, wrapping his hand around it, trying to warm him up. Jack clung to him gratefully. After a while Sawyer could feel Jack stop shivering and could tell from his breathing he was finally asleep. Sawyer let out a little groan of frustration. He was uncomfortable but didn’t think he could do anything about it without waking up Jack. When Jack had rolled over and wrapped his arm around him, he’d gotten a hard-on that was pressing up against his zipper teeth now. “That’s what I get for going commando,” he thought.

Sawyer sighed and thought about his feelings for Jack. He’d told him back at the hatch that he was the closest thing he had to a friend on the island, but he hadn’t had the nerve to tell him everything he felt. They’d had a stormy relationship on and off since they’d crashed on the island. They were opposites in many ways, but maybe there was some truth to the phrase that “opposites attract”. He doubted Jack was aware of the strong sexual attraction he felt towards him now. At first he’d felt animosity and jealousy both. Jack had become the leader and organizer almost immediately, taking charge at the crash scene when others didn’t even have their wits about them. He’d tried to organize them and to keep them all healthy and safe. Sawyer was jealous of all the attention Kate had shown Jack too, and how she looked up to him but thought herself unworthy of his attentions. He’d chased after Kate mostly because he’d seen how Jack watched her and smiled at her. He was jealous of the attention Jack had paid to her. He had used every opportunity to really stir Jack up, calling him nicknames like ‘Jack-Ass, Hero, St. Jack, Cowboy, Dr. DoRight’ and others. He’d disagreed and been argumentative. He’d even goaded Jack to hit him on a couple of occasions and then purposefully not hit him back. He’d known that would really get under Jack’s skin. Sawyer had felt his feelings change over time. He was painfully aware of every single time Jack had physically touched him whether it had been a stinging blow or a comforting light touch.

Sun and Kate both had told him of how Jack had stayed by his bedside when Eko had brought him back slung over his shoulder, more dead than alive burning up with fever. Jack stayed with him the first 24 hours straight, bathing him in cool water, getting the antibiotics in him, not letting any of the others take over. Even when he did let Sun or Kate watch him, he didn’t go far, usually just collapsing on the couch in the common area of the hatch to sleep a few hours. He remembered vaguely Jack washing him and his cool soothing strokes. Sawyer sighed again. He thought he’d stirred once when Jack was washing his genitals and his cock had gotten hard in Jack’s hands, that he’d spoken and looked at Jack but had fallen unconscious again. He wished he knew for sure if it had happened or not. Sun had told him she’d only seen people as devoted as Jack had been to him that were family or lovers. He’d mulled that thought over and over in his head as he’d recovered. Everybody seemed closer to him after his recovery, until Jack pissed him off by going through his tent looking for the meds he’d taken back. Come to think of it, Jack was pretty good at pissing him off and pushing his buttons too. Sawyer had thought up the scheme to get Locke to move all the hatch guns so he could get his hands on them, but then after he’d announced he had all the guns, he got very little attention from anyone. They all just treated him the same – they were not impressed he had the guns. He hadn’t gotten the reaction he’d wanted. After a couple of days they’d even had a friendly game of poker on the beach. Sawyer had felt like he’d visually copulated with Jack during that poker game. The way Jack looked at him and smiled at him drove him crazy. He’d tried to be seductive with Jack. Surely Jack had felt it. If they’d been the only people on the island then, he’d have fucked Jack one way or another even if he’d had to beg him to fuck him. But they weren’t alone and Jack had won back the meds. When he’d asked him why he didn’t play for the guns, Jack had irritated him by saying that when the time came he’d get the guns back. Then the whole fiasco started with Ana Lucia. She’d wanted a gun bad enough that she’d jumped him and come on to him and they’d ended up fucking like bunnies in the jungle. She’d picked up his gun as she’d picked up her clothes and gotten dressed. He hadn’t thought about his gun until Jack, Locke and Kate had come looking for the guns to go and help Michael find his son Walt. Then he’d known she’d gotten his gun when they’d had sex. They all went back to the hatch and made the horrendous discovery of Henry Gale missing, Michael shot in the shoulder, Ana Lucia shot dead on the couch and Libby mortally wounded on the floor. Jack had demanded the heroin (for Libby) that Sawyer had stashed along with the guns. He’d sent Kate with him to see where the guns were. Jack had given Libby heroin to relieve her pain and Libby had ended up dying also. As he and Jack had been loading the guns to go with Michael the next day, he’d confided in Jack that he’d had sex with Ana Lucia and that was how she’d gotten his gun. Jack asked him why he had told him that and Sawyer said he was the closest thing he had to a friend on the island, and because she was gone. He felt bad, he hadn’t even known her last name. Both she and Libby had been surprised and killed with “his” gun. He had hoped that Jack would say a few words at her funeral and Jack did. Then the next morning he, Jack, Kate and Hurley had been foolish enough to follow Michael right into the “Others” territory and were surprised by tranquilizer darts and were captured.

Now he was laying in the dark on a cold damp floor with Jack asleep clinging to him for warmth, and he had a raging hard-on that he couldn’t do anything about. He cursed himself for having this reaction. Jack would probably knock the hell outa him if he knew that this hard-on was for him. All those times he was trying to rile up Jack or act seductive, he was succeeding in stirring up his own strong emotions towards Jack. This was probably all one-sided and wishful thinking on his part. Jack had never appeared to be anything other than straight around anybody. Sawyer sighed again softly. He had to stop thinking about Jack and try to get some sleep. He’d probably need all his strength in the days to come. He finally drifted off to sleep.

When Sawyer woke the next morning he was surprised the position he woke up in. He and Jack had both rolled over during the night and he was plastered around Jack now, his right leg between Jack’s legs and his right arm wrapped around Jack holding him close to him. They were in a spooning position. What surprised him the most though was the fact that he’d laid his head down against Jack’s. “How in the hell am I gonna extricate myself from Jack without waking him up?” he thought. About that time a door nearby slammed shut and they both sat up startled, blinking in the morning sun. Sawyer hoped that Jack didn’t realize what position they’d both been in. Jack didn’t say anything about it, but he was aware that he had awakened with Sawyer clinging to him. He sat up and rubbed his eyes and head trying to wake up better. Sawyer got up and went over and got them both some water, he drank about half of his bottle. Jack stood up too. Sawyer turned around to see Jack drink some of his water but he could see Jack’s expression. He was holding up his hands looking at the handcuffs and chains on them. It hurt Sawyer to see Jack’s face. Jack’s emotions registered so readily on his face, Sawyer thought he probably doesn’t even know that he’s so readable. They heard voices and footsteps coming down the hallway. They backed against the far wall as the door opened and four men with various weapons came in. This time the man that Sawyer had nicknamed “Zeke” but who they’d heard was named Tom was among them. Tom had been the man who’d shot him on the raft and almost cost him his life. Jack could feel Sawyer bristle beside him. He put his hand on Sawyer’s arm and whispered for him to back down.

“Well good morning James and Jack. Hope you two slept well your first night here. You’re gonna be here with us for a long while, so we thought we’d explain the ground rules to you guys so you’d know what’s expected of you.” Tom looked them over. “First off, you did the right thing in backing away from the door when we came in. We’re not going to open the door if you’re too close to it, so you’re starting off right this morning. Second, you’ll get along better here if you respond to our directions the first time and don’t fight us in any way. You cause problems for me; I’ll cause big problems for you.” Jack tightened his grip on Sawyer’s arm to warn him to keep quiet right now. Tom continued, “Third, you do what we want, you get rewards for being cooperative. You’ve got to earn stuff. Fourth, you try to escape; you lose your rewards and get punished. Big time – we hurt you. I hope you are beginning to get the picture now. Fifth, if Mr. Gale or Bea is talking to you, you don’t interrupt them. They’ll give you a chance to talk, but you need to be respectful. Otherwise, once again, you’ll be sorry.” One of the men exchanged the buckets they’d left in the room for fresh ones while Tom was talking and they left several Dharma bottles of water. Tom looked at Sawyer and then Jack. “You got something you want to ask Jack?”

Jack was pensive looking. “What are you planning on doing with us and Kate?” he asked.

Tom smiled, “I don’t know rightly what Mr. Gale has in mind. He tells us when he wants something done and not usually before. I just know you may be here a long time.” Jack grimaced.

“Where’s Kate and is she okay?” Jack asked.

“She’s in another part of the camp. She’s not close by, but she’s doing better than you too. She’s being cooperative and she’s already got a mattress and had dinner last night. You two should learn from her.” Tom smirked. Sawyer bristled and growled. Jack was starving. He knew Sawyer was going to say something that would cost them another meal. He turned around to Sawyer, pushed him against the wall with his body and put his hand over Sawyer’s mouth. “Don’t say it!” Sawyer gave Jack a look that would kill but nodded okay and Jack took his hand away. Sawyer moved away from him and sat down against the wall with his knees up. He was obviously upset.

“You’re getting the hang of this I think boys. Keep it up and we might feed you soon.”

“When are we going to get some kind of bed, mattress, pillows, blanket or something? Prisoners get better than this.” Jack wanted some basic human necessities.

“You have to earn it Jack. If you boys are good all the way to tonight, then we’ll see about getting you something to lay on tonight. Although you boys sure look cute curled up together trying to keep warm in here.” They both frowned at Tom but neither spoke. Tom laughed but kept facing towards them as the men backed out of the room. After they’d locked the door Sawyer let out an oath, “Son-of-a-bitch. I want to kill him.”

“I know,” Jack said, “but don’t say shit like that to his face Sawyer. I want to eat and sleep on a damn mattress. Basic stuff. You heard what he said. You act out and apparently I get punished too. So you think about everything you do and say first because you’re affecting my life too.”

Sawyer ran his hands through his hair, “Shit I wish I had my damn gun.”

“Well I do too, but we’ve got to do what we can to stay alive so we can get out of here at some point. If its stuff we can do, then we need to go along and not fight them.”

Sawyer stood up and took Jack by the arm and looked him in his face, “And what about when they start asking us to do things we don’t want do like hurting or killing other people?”

“I hope it doesn’t come to that. Then we decide at that point what we have to do. I can’t tell you how to respond to everything. Just think about what we need to do to keep alive and have some basic necessities. We’ll just take things one at a time.” Jack went over and sat down in a sunny spot from one of the tiny windows as though he was trying to warm himself. Sawyer didn’t know what else to do so he went and sat down so his back was in the sun. It did feel good.

They sat in silence for about half an hour when they heard the outer doors and foot steps again. This time two trays with food were slid through the opening at the base of the door and a woman’s voice spoke, “When you’re finished eating you slide the trays back out into the hall. You don’t get the next meal unless the trays are returned when you finish.”

“Thank you for the food,” Jack called out. The only eating utensils they gave them were plastic spoons.

“They really trust us huh?” Sawyer said as he looked over his food and sniffed it.

Jack smiled, “Well, I think it’s mutual. Hopefully there’s nothing in the food but food. We have to eat at some point. If they were planning on killing us, we’d probably be dead already. They don’t seem to hesitate when they kill people according to Ana.” Sawyer nodded. They were both so hungry they both started eating at the same time. Jack remembered they hadn’t eaten since breakfast yesterday, and that hadn’t been much. They finished quickly and pushed the trays back out into the hall. Someone came shortly and took them away.

Jack looked over at Sawyer. “Please don’t piss them off today. I want a bed and another meal.”

Sawyer rolled his eyes and sighed. This was going to be harder than he’d thought. “I get it Jack, so lay off. I’ll do what I can, but I ain’t makin’ any promises.” Sawyer went over and sat down against the wall, pulled his knees up and rested his arms on his knees and his head on his arms. He wanted some space from Jack. Jack was so damned intense and anal sometimes. He was wired too tight Sawyer thought. He needed somebody to take care of him, make him lighten up and just let go. Plus Jack had no freaking idea what he’d done to him earlier pushing him up against the wall with his body and putting his hand over his mouth. Sawyer had thought Jack might have even felt his cock getting hard before he broke away and sat down. “Shit,” he thought, “he keeps doing crap like that to me, and he’s gonna bring it on himself. I just did get away from him. He’s gonna find out what he does to me if he shoves me up against the wall with his body again. I ain’t gonna be able to hide it. It’s making me crazy being in the same room with him. I can’t get away from him and the lust and desire is killing me.” Sawyer sighed and bounced his head against his arms like a person would pound against a wall.

“You okay?” Jack asked tentatively. “I’m sorry I’m being controlling. I don’t feel like I have any control over anything right now and I know I’m a control freak. Surgeons are bad about it. We get used to giving people directions and commands; it’s hard to break out of sometimes in regular life.” Sawyer raised his eyes and looked at Jack and held his head in his hands.

“It ain’t just you Jack, it’s me too. We’ve been in here less than 24 hours. God, what if they leave us locked in here together for weeks or months with nothing to do? There’s no telling what we may do. I just hope we don’t kill each other.”

“Well, for Pete’s sake, tell me if I make you crazy so maybe I can cool it before I drive you to kill me.” Jack had a smile on his face, but Sawyer knew the comment was serious.

“Okay, but you’ve got to promise the same thing. And we both better be quick to forgive each other cause we only got each other to depend on.” Jack nodded in agreement.

The room was getting warm now. Sawyer unbuttoned his shirt and rolled up his shirt sleeves. He was hot, but couldn’t take his shirt off because of the long handcuffs they’d left on them overnight. Jack sat and watched him. He found it distracting watching Sawyer. He liked Sawyer’s abs. He’d always tried to be careful about watching Sawyer when he was walking around without a shirt or swimming. He felt a strong physical attraction to Sawyer, but he’d usually just ignored it, except for times when he was alone and had masturbated while thinking about him. Sawyer was a good old boy from Tennessee and he’d made it clear he was interested in Kate’s panties and he’d actually screwed Ana Lucia. He’d never given any indication that he was anything other than one hundred percent heterosexual, though Jack had caught him watching him numerous times. He chalked it up to Sawyer trying to figure him out. They sat and talked for a while about the island and Sawyer talked some about his trek back across the island with the tail section survivors. It wasn’t long before two more trays appeared at the door and they ate their lunch in silence, much slower this time since they weren’t starving. After lunch Sawyer lay down for a while and slept some. Jack stayed awake and watched him sleep. Sawyer looked so peaceful when he slept, all the hostility, bullshit and emotion drained away from him, he looked almost innocent. He wondered how many women had seen him like that and thought they’d be able to keep him. He had a feeling that Sawyer had moved around a lot and broke a lot of hearts. Jack wished he could possess him. Sawyer was always acting seductive and his raw sexual energy drove Jack to distraction sometimes. He really wanted to fuck his brains out. Sawyer stirred and opened his eyes and caught Jack looking at him. Jack looked away and Sawyer could have sworn that Jack blushed, but he was probably imagining it. Wishful thinking.

Late in the afternoon, a man they’d heard called Pickett came in with three other men. He ordered them to back against the wall. He told them that he needed their cooperation. He showed them a stun gun and pointed out a dart gun that one of the men had. He reminded them that cooperation would be rewarded and trouble would be punished immediately. He asked them both if they would cooperate. Jack nodded first and Sawyer nodded reluctantly. Pickett took Sawyer’s handcuffs and fastened his handcuffs to an eye bolt with a lock. Then he went over and did the same to Jack. He went back out and came in with two needles, rubber tubing, alcohol wipes, band-aids and a stethoscope. He was going to draw blood from them. Jack was the one squirming now. He asked why they needed their blood and what were they testing for. Pickett said he didn’t know. His job was just to draw it. Jack asked if they were testing Kate’s blood too but Pickett didn’t respond. Jack asked what they were doing here on this island, why did they have a lab? Pickett surprised Jack by grabbing him by the throat and just holding him. Jack realized suddenly that he couldn’t even reach his own throat now and froze.

Pickett looked at him, “You ask too many questions. Shut up.” Jack nodded and he released his grasp. He wrapped a tube around Sawyers arm, listened with his stethoscope and then wiped his arm with a wipe. “Hold still, or this could hurt,” he ordered. Sawyer didn’t move. He wasn’t worried about them taking blood out. He was going to be real afraid if they started giving them injections though. He got Sawyer’s blood easily enough and put a band-aid on his arm. He turned towards Jack and looked at the expression on his face. “Are you going to let me do this the easy way Jack or am I going to have to stun you and take it out of you by force?” Jack didn’t like the alternative so he stuck his left arm out towards him. He got his blood sample from Jack too. “I appreciate your cooperation boys. I’ll see if we can get you a reward, but don’t count on it. I’ll just see. We’re going to leave you like this for a little while.” They changed out their buckets and put out some bottles of water for them, taking the empties away with them and locked the door behind them.

Jack looked at Sawyer. “I’m worried,” he whispered, “What kind of an operation is they running here that they take blood samples?” Jack’s expression of alarm was scaring Sawyer. “They’ve got some kind of lab here and this whole set-up is really starting to scare me now.”

Sawyer shrugged, he wasn’t very happy either. “Shit, this is a hell of a note. We do what they want and they leave us chained to the wall. If we sit down, our hands will be over our heads.”

“Maybe they won’t be that long. Let’s hope anyway.”

It wasn’t but about half an hour when Pickett came back with two different men. “Well, since you boys were so cooperative, you’re getting a mattress, pillows and a blanket tonight gentlemen. If you act out, fight me or are uncooperative, I’ll take it away from you. Good behavior for me gets you a bed.” The men dragged in a mattress that looked to be a double bed, cotton stuffed affair, two pillows and a large blanket and threw them on the floor. Pickett stood over by the door and cautioned them not to move as one of the men removed the handcuffs. They both were surprised and rubbed their wrists. The men backed out of the door and locked it behind them. Jack and Sawyer were relieved that they’d gotten a mattress, but they knew they’d still be sleeping right up next to each other on a double bed. Jack went over to lay down on it.

“Wait a minute.” Sawyer ordered. Jack looked at him quizzically. Sawyer went over and dragged the mattress over to the far corner of the interior wall. “I don’t want those SOBs watching me while I’m sleeping,” he explained. Jack just nodded. He wasn’t wild about the idea of being under surveillance either. Sawyer lay down on the side closest to the door and seemed to settle in. Jack looked at him. “I usually slept on that side when I was married.” “Well Doc, I ain’t married to you, and I’m sleeping on this side of the bed.” Jack shrugged and picked up the other pillow and tried the mattress out too. It wasn’t great but was a tremendous improvement over the cold damp floor. In a little while their dinner slid under the door and they both got up and ate. After their meal they went and sat back down on the mattress and leaned back on their pillows against the wall. It was nice to have somewhere soft to sit for a chance. The sun was already going down and the shadows in the room had grown longer. Jack got to thinking about what Sawyer had said about Ana Lucia back in the hatch and decided to bring it up.

“So you and Ana Lucia got together in the end.”

“Yeah, she just did it cause she wanted the gun though Jack. She really liked you. She started stalking me, I guess trying to find my stash. I’d turned her down once. The second time she threw me on the ground, kissed me aggressively and really shocked me. She had always acted like she hated me. Shoot, she kept trying to leave me for dead coming back in the jungle. I hadn’t had sex in three months and I’ve never been one to turn down sex when it’s handed to me on a platter… It was fast and furious. First thing that came outa her mouth afterwards was that if I told people we’d screwed, she’d kill me. It was just one of those things.”

“Yeah I thought she’d liked me too. She’d tried to pick me up in the bar in Sydney before take-off. I tried to be her friend. I felt sorry for her; nobody wanted much to do with her after she accidentally shot Shannon. But I wasn’t interested in being her boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I guess Kate’s more your type huh?”

“No, I think she’s more your type. You know you said you loved her when you were sick in the hatch.” Jack figured he’d find out what his feelings for Kate really were.

Sawyer looked incredulous. “What do you mean Jack? I care a lot for Kate, but I’ve never been in love with her. She’s like unattainable, and she’s a cock tease. She makes me want to screw her but I don’t wanna be her boyfriend.”

“Well you sure clearly said “I love her.” You didn’t say who, I just assumed you were talking about Kate.”

“I was still running a high temp then right? No telling what was going through my mind. Did I say anything else?”

“Yes, you were in and out of consciousness and would talk some. I think you were dreaming at times cause it didn’t always make sense.”

“I feel like I’m at a disadvantage here Jack. You’ve heard me talking outa my head and delirious and I don’t know what I said. What could you make out?”

“Well, at different times you called a woman’s name Cassidy, Kate’s name, Boone’s name, and my name sometimes. I guess you were worried about getting back so I could doctor you. You just about died you know. I had to bathe you in cool water on and off the first 24 hours. You were burning up.”

Sawyer got real still, he was almost not breathing as he listened to Jack. “What was I saying that didn’t make sense?”

“I think you were delirious. I’m embarrassed to tell you.” Jack looked away.

“Just tell me Jack, it’s no big deal if I was talking outa my head. What’d I say?” Sawyer ran his hands through his hair; he was dying to know what he’d said in front of Jack.

Jack looked over at him trying to judge how to tell him. “Well, at one point you were talking like you were having sex with another man.” Jack paused. Sawyer didn’t verbally react but Jack was watching his face carefully. “It was clear it was sex with another guy from what you were saying. I didn’t mean to be listening, I was bathing you at the time and um…you got a hard-on. It was just a physical reaction to the washing, probably even caused the dream.”

Sawyer sat real still and ran his tongue to the side of his mouth as if carefully weighing what he was going to say next. He turned to face Jack and looked him in the eyes. “I need to tell you something Jack that I don’t want spread around. It don’t have to change anything about us being friends, and I hope it won’t.” He paused. “… I’m bisexual. Always have been ever since I started having sex as a teenager. It’s usually been business or just casual sex when I’ve screwed women. I really prefer sex with men; it’s more physical and exciting. My serious relationships have usually been with other men. What you thought was a dream was probably me talking about something that I’ve actually done.” Sawyer waited for Jack’s reaction, he worried that this was going to tear their new friendship apart. Jack would probably treat him like a leper now. He studied Jack’s face carefully, waiting anxiously.

Jack did look surprised but he seemed to be taking the news calmly. He was trying to decide about telling Sawyer his secret. It took him a long time before he said anything.

“Well, I didn’t see that coming. But that explains a lot of things.”

“Like what?”

“What you were saying when I was washing you.”

“For Christ’s sake what did I say Jack?”

Jack clearly blushed this time. “You were talking about wanting to fuck me. You were very clear about what you wanted us to do and what you wanted to do to me. I gave you a hard-on and on some level you knew it was me.”

“Shit, I don’t know what to say Jack. I’m sorry…I” Jack put his index finger on Sawyer’s lips and stopped him. It was getting dark in the room but he could still see Sawyer’s face.

“Hush a minute and listen to me.” Jack paused thinking. “Since you’ve been so open, I’ve got something I need to tell you too. I’m not bisexual.” Sawyer’s heart fell in his chest.

“I’m not heterosexual either. I’m gay Sawyer. That’s why I haven’t gotten together with any of the women. It took my failed marriage and divorce from Sara for me to know for sure.” Sawyer looked in shock. Jack had done a damn good job of concealing he was gay. Sawyer hadn’t even suspected. He knew he was real attracted to Jack, but he’d been attracted to straight men before and had even fucked straight men. He hadn’t thought there was a chance in hell that he could get together with Jack.

Jack continued, “And I think with you being bi and me being gay, it explains a lot about what our relationship has been like since we crashed here. We’ve been attracted to each other but frustrated thinking each other was straight. All these strong emotions have been us trying to come to terms with each other. Wanting to be together and stirring each other up cause we couldn’t be.”

Sawyer could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He licked his lips out of nervousness. “I need to tell you how I feel Jack. I’m really attracted to you. I just didn’t know how to tell you that I wanted to be with you. I want you so damn bad it hurts, but I wanna know if this is something you’re interested in too. Tell me what you want Jack.”

Jack ran one hand through Sawyer’s hair and his other hand to the back of his neck and pulled him to within inches of his face, “I want you. Now. No more waiting.” He pulled Sawyer to him, and they kissed each other as though they could consume one another. Jack held him tightly, licked Sawyer’s lips and sucked his lower lip into his mouth pulling gently on it with his teeth. He pushed his tongue into Sawyer’s mouth and Sawyer yielded to his probing. He tasted both sweet and salty. He kissed him harder and slipped his tongue out and Sawyer’s tongue followed him back into his mouth. They’d kissed each other wantonly several times when Jack broke away and whispered, “Slow down, we’ve got time. I’ve wanted to do this with you for ages.” He began running kisses down the side of Sawyer’s face to his collarbone. Sawyer whispered “Oh God, Jack” and let out a low moan. Jack started pushing Sawyer’s shirt down over his shoulders and back, feeling him as he was removing the shirt. Jack pushed him down on the bed. Sawyer squeezed Jack hard on his ass and pushed his hard-on against Jack’s thigh.

Jack ran his hands across Sawyer’s breasts squeezing them and down his bare chest and abdomen, “You’ve driven me crazy walking around the beach camp without a shirt and low-slung pants.” Now he was able to really touch him. He had Sawyer moaning quietly again. Sawyer started trying to remove Jack’s shirt and get it off him. When he succeeded, he ran his hand through Jack’s hairy chest and down low over his abdomen. Sawyer wanted Jack’s cock in his hands desperately. He rubbed Jack’s hard cock through his jeans. He whispered, “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do this.” Jack was trying to keep things slower but he could feel Sawyer’s raw sexual energy and drive trying to take him over. Jack undid Sawyer’s jeans and pulled the zipper down slowly, teasingly. Sawyer was so excited he almost pushed his hands out of the way. Jack reached into Sawyer’s jeans, pulled his hard cock out and tugged his jeans the rest of the way off. Sawyer was naked and was definitely excited. Jack bent down and made sure he was keeping eye contact with Sawyer to watch his reactions. He held Sawyer’s cock in his hand, the head was large and flushed in appearance and pre-cum glistened at the top. Jack lightly stroked his balls and flicked his tongue across the top tasting the pre-cum. Sawyer made a noise that was a cross between pleasure and frustration. He’d made Sawyer physically shake with his light touch. Jack took his tongue and swirled it around the head before he pushed his mouth down on it and sucked it up and down seven or eight times. “Wait Jack please or you’re gonna make me come right now! I’m too excited. Let me work on you - I want your pants off.” Sawyer unzipped Jack’s pants quickly and tried to push Jack’s pants off him. Jack’s cock sprang out into view. He was just as well endowed as Sawyer was. Jack got his jeans off and positioned himself so he was rubbing against Sawyer’s cock. Sawyer tilted his head back and was pushing his pelvis up against Jack. He couldn’t believe he was doing this with Jack. He’d fantasized about this for weeks. Jack lay down on him further and held his head in his hands, kissing him harder, eagerly now while Sawyer’s hand was holding their cocks together, stroking them both slowly. Sawyer marveled at what a good kisser Jack was. Most men never were really good at it, but Jack really was. Jack ran kisses across his jaw again and over behind his ear. He could feel Sawyer responding to being kissed like this. Sawyer felt as though Jack possessed him, like he was surrendering to Jack.

“What do ya want Jack? Tell me – I’ll do whatever you want me to do.” Sawyer whispered. Jack moved back slightly so he could look in Sawyer’s eyes and stroke the side of his face.

“Will you let me fuck you first? I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone as much as I do you right now.” Jack whispered back and smiled when Sawyer nodded yes. He kissed Sawyer again and pushed his legs further apart with his own. He put two of his fingers in Sawyer’s mouth and Sawyer sucked on them while wetting them well. Jack pulled them out and gently stroked Sawyer’s balls, then under them and then at his opening, pressing in slightly and drawing a small circle. He could see the anticipation written all over Sawyer’s face. He gently pushed in his index finger and felt Sawyer tighten around it and then slowly relax. He moved the finger in and out a few times before adding his middle finger and waiting again for Sawyer to relax again. Sawyer was breathing deep and hard now. Jack moved them in and out a few times before he found his prostrate and began to massage it with his finger tips. Sawyer reached down and held himself by the balls and cock, holding his breath and then breathing out. It felt like his whole body constricted and shuddered. Jack felt him tighten around his hand in waves. Sawyer moaned “Oh God” very slowly and panted. Jack knew he’d come but he hadn’t ejaculated.

“Did you have an orgasm just then?” Jack whispered. Sawyer nodded yes and Jack could tell from his face he had. “Are you multi-orgasmic Sawyer?”

Sawyer nodded again. “Yeah, I can be with the right stimulation and a patient lover.”

“Damn, only about 15% of guys can do that. You want more?” Sawyer nodded yes again. Jack stroked across his prostrate again while running his other hand across Sawyer’s abdomen and groin. Sawyer came again hard, “Oh jeez – fuck!” Jack loved it and thought this could be addictive making Sawyer sound and look like that. Sawyer was panting heavily but controlling his breathing. Jack put his lips down over his cock again and swirled around the head for a while, looked him in the eyes again and stroked over his prostrate repeatedly again, drawing in and out. Sawyer came again closing his eyes, straining against Jack with a high pitched moan this time. He relaxed slightly and panted.

“Go ahead and fuck me Jack, I’m gonna shoot off the next time. I want you in me now.” Jack pulled his hand out slowly and spit into it to slick his cock up. He pulled Sawyer’s legs and knees up over his arms and stopped right at the entrance. “I’ll take it slow, but you tell me when to go okay?” He pressed his cock in slowly. “Damn you are so tight, I really want to thrust. You feel so damn good.” Jack could tell he still needed some time to adjust. He and Sawyer both had meaty cocks. Sawyer pulled off a little and pushed back against Jack’s cock groaning. “Go slow so I can work through it,” he whispered. Jack started off slowly and after a minute or so Sawyer told him to go faster. Jack changed his angle guessing at where Sawyer’s prostrate was and ran right across it. He loved hearing Sawyer react to it. Sawyer put his hand into his mouth so he wouldn’t be too loud and his voice wouldn’t carry. Jack got his rhythm going and began stroking Sawyer’s cock in time with his thrusts. Sawyer whispered how damn good it felt having him inside of him. Jack thrust harder and faster for several minutes when Sawyer felt Jack tense up. Jack moaned Sawyer’s name, came hard and shot a heavy load of cum repeatedly into him. He had really been aroused fucking him. Sawyer followed him quickly; he tensed up and shot his load all over his chest. It was intense and had actually hurt him, he’d forgotten about getting kicked in the balls yesterday, but he certainly remembered now. Jack slipped his legs back down and almost fell over on top of him. Sawyer was going to hold him up, but Jack took Sawyer’s left leg and moved it over to his right. He lay down slowly, still inside him wanting to lay next to him. Jack slipped his arm around him, kissed him on the neck and whispered thanks. Sawyer pulled the blanket over them and held Jack’s arm next to him. Jack put his hand over Sawyer’s heart and felt it beating fast and hard and smiled.

“Anytime you want Jack. Anytime. I’m looking forward to my turn next,” Sawyer whispered. Now that they’d finally admitted their attraction to each other and had acted on it, he wanted to be with Jack as much as he could be. Jack was a good lover and considerate. He hoped there’d be many more times for them but he knew there were no guarantees here. This was not his home – it was theirs.