New Year's Resolution ~ sequel to Dress Blues

title: new year's resolution 1/2
series: happy holidays 2
author: rotschopf
mail: rotschopf (at) rotschopf (dot) org
pairing: cameron mitchell / daniel jackson
rating: R
warnings: angst, uniforms, language
disclaimer: still not my pleasure slaves. no harm intended, no profit made. for entertainment purposes only.
archive: tddm, my lj, drowfic, poisonsdarkfics, DC_daily, area52, stargateslash, aff.net
beta: Gwen!
feedback: yes, hit me! harder!
summary: cameron should've known if he had been paying attention.

as always, all my stories can be found at groups.yahoo.com/group/TDDM and www.livejournal.com/community/drowfic

A/N: oh.my.god. I was simply overwhelmed with the feedback I got for the first part. thanks so much, folks! you guys rock!

~o0o~

Cameron felt too hot, and not in a good way. Too much alcohol, too many people, too tight a uniform, not enough fresh air. And Daniel. God, those trousers should be illegal. Tight in all the right places, emphasising his long, muscular legs in a highly erotic manner... Above that, Daniel was positively *glowing*. Happiness was coming off him in waves; he was radiant; gorgeous; beautiful.

He shook his head, taking another sip from his wine. This train of thought wasn't helping in any way, and his inner heterosexual got-too-much-gay-sex-lately male agreed wholeheartedly. Not that the past week hadn't been spectacular in every way. On the contrary. But that was exactly the problem.

He sighed, trying to loosen his tie a bit without looking ridiculous. Why was he wearing dress blues again? Oh, yeah. Daniel liked them. He had a kink for them, and he had admitted freely that the last week wouldn't have happened if Cameron hadn't worn them that fateful night. Why was he wearing them again? Oh, yeah. Daniel had asked him to. Right.

He should do it. Just-- go over to Daniel and tell him that it needed to end before they were in too deep. Before real feelings developed. Who was he kidding?

He sought out Daniel in the crowd. Sam had really outdone herself with organising this little party for New Year's Eve, but it was also an obstacle in Cameron's quest to get Daniel alone for a little talk. And they had to talk. Badly.

Finally, he spotted Daniel on the far end of the room. Which was a very, very bad thing. He stood with his back to Cameron, hands in his pockets, which only served to tighten the fabric over his ass. He was listening intently to something Captain Hailey was telling him, and he so didn't like the look she was giving Daniel. Great. Now, he felt jealous over some young, hot captain. Not good.

Daniel must've realised that he was being watched. Or stared at, if you wanted to be more specific. He turned his head slightly, seeking out the culprit with a sultry look. Cameron should've known that Daniel's gaze would find him, should've known that the slight smile Daniel sent him over his shoulder would send shivers down his spine, and suddenly he felt even hotter, felt his trousers growing uncomfortably tight over his hardening prick, and this was so not good.

He sent Daniel a small smile before he practically fled to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. So not good. He slowly moved to the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. "There goes your New Year's Resolution, Mitchell," he murmured. "Straight to hell." And for once, he and his inner heterosexual got-too-much-gay-sex-lately male were in total agreement.

Why was it always he who ended up in situations like that? He really shouldn't have sucked Daniel off in the first place, let alone fuck him. For once, he should've thought things through instead of just jumping into the situation and figure things out later. Yeah, he definitely should've done that. Hell, the last week should've told him that there was definitely something more going on than a friendly buddy fuck. Daniel's behaviour should've told him. Daniel's *happiness* should've told him.

And then, the jealousy thing. What exactly had that been about? He had seen Daniel being friendly with a lot of people during the past year, and never had he felt jealous or protective of Daniel. Simply because Daniel could take care of himself. There was absolutely no doubt about that. None whatsoever. "Oh yeah, Mitchell. You're in deep shit. That one took you down pretty good and you didn't even realise it," he said, sneering at his mirror image.

And just what had that Daniel-smiled-at-me-I-have-a-boner thing been about? Oh yeah, that smile. That smile Daniel seemed to have reserved especially for him. The three big 'S'. Sultry, Sly, Sexy. And it always managed to have Cameron hard and panting for breath in a matter of seconds. He really should've known.

He turned around, leaning against the basin and covering his eyes with one hand. That smile was burnt into his mind for the rest of his days. Pretty lame, if he were honest. A goner with a boner. Cheesy. But still so true.

"Fuck it," he thought, fumbling with his fly. "Might as well get it out of your system. For now."

He almost ripped the seam when he finally yanked the zipper open, but he didn't particularly care. He reached into his trousers, his eyes falling shut automatically as soon as he touched his already oversensitive glans. He suppressed a moan, freeing his prick from its confines. He smirked. He knew exactly what would happen if Daniel saw him like this now. Oh yeah, he definitely knew what. Daniel's eyes would glaze over and he would smile that smile at Cameron before stalking him. He would pull Cameron into a rough kiss; demanding; taking; marking him as his. That was another thing which turned Cameron on. Daniel might be a bottom, but he was every bit as aggressive and dominating as Cameron.

Cameron sank his teeth deeper into his lip to keep from growling aloud. Oh yeah, Daniel's aggressive side... The one that would just sneak up on him and kiss him and suck him dry without question before offering himself for retaliation. Passionate. So fucking passionate and beautiful and gorgeous... Cameron threw his head back, falling into a pool of red heat as he came to the image of Daniel's sexy and sly and sultry smile, not caring where his spunk landed, not caring... just feeling and coming and the thought of Daniel... "Oh god."

Cameron sank to the floor, still holding his spent prick in a loose grasp. Oh yeah. He was in for it. Deeply and irrevocably. He was in trouble.

~o0o~

When Cameron finally managed to leave the bathroom without giving anything away, Daniel was nowhere to be seen, and Cameron panicked. Had Daniel realised that something was going on? Cameron snorted. Of course he had. Daniel was one of the most observant people he knew. If anyone could've caught on, it was him.

Eventually, he spotted Sam talking to General O'Neill and made his way over to the pair. "General. Sam."

"Mitchell!" O'Neill replied cheerfully, raising his bottle of beer in a mock toast. "Get yourself a drink and stay a while!"

"Thank you. Sir." Cameron smiled tightly. As much as he admired the man, at the moment he had absolutely no desire to stay and chat. "Another time perhaps."

"Ah, loosen up, Mitchell, for crying out loud! And what's with you showing up in dress blues to a friend's party? This is supposed to be fun!" O'Neill retorted with a teasing smirk, and Cameron was once again reminded of the reason he had put on the uniform in the first place. Daniel's request.

"Actually, I was looking for Daniel," Cameron said calmly, and he was proud of himself for sounding just the right side of friendly without raising any suspicions.

"Ah. The ever-elusive spacemonkey. Last time I saw him, he wanted to get some fresh air." O'Neill pointed at the window behind him.

Cameron followed the movement, spotting Daniel leaning against the rail. His guts clenched almost violently. Daniel's hunched-over posture and self-hug screamed defeat. The glow of happiness had completely disappeared, replaced by utter dejection and misery. "Excuse me," Cameron said quickly, patting Sam on the shoulder and nodding at the general.

"Now, that's just rude!" O'Neill complained, but Cameron couldn't have cared less about the general if he had tried. His sole focus was on Daniel, and he wondered what had happened in the past twenty minutes. "You ignored him the entire evening, Mitchell," he thought, groaning inwardly. So much for his New Year's Resolution. Straight to hell if that meant to never see Daniel so miserable again.

He slid the double glass doors open, stepping into the cool December night. He knew that Daniel must have heard him, but the man didn't even pretend to acknowledge his presence. For a moment, Cameron thought it would be better to leave Daniel alone and sort out things later. But his inner heterosexual maybe-we-should-rethink-the-heterosexual-part male smacked him over the head once more, telling him to move his ass over to Daniel.

Cameron squared his shoulders and joined Daniel, leaning over the rail to look over the city. "This is harder than I thought."

"What exactly are you talking about?"

Cameron cringed. Daniel's voice spoke volumes of how he felt. He was feeling hurt and neglected and utterly confused. No wonder. "Keeping my hands off you for an entire evening."

"Is that why you've been avoiding me the entire time?" Daniel asked quietly.

"Sorta. Yes. One of the reasons," Cameron stammered, cursing himself for his incoherency. Why would it be so bad to tell Daniel what he had been thinking about? Wasn't Daniel the one person who had a right to know?

"I see." Daniel took a deep breath. "Is this the part of the conversation where you tell me that the last week has been great, but that's all it's ever going to be?"

Cameron felt like someone had just kicked him in the balls. "Daniel..."

"No. No, I understand. You're straight, you're a lieutenant colonel in the USAF and are strictly speaking not allowed to fraternise with your teammates, let alone your male, civilian consultant, and the last week was great, but I'm not a woman. I get it," Daniel spat, wrapping his arms even tighter around himself.

"Actually." Cameron took a deep breath. There really wasn't any reason why he shouldn't tell Daniel the truth. "Yes, I was thinking along those lines. Yes, I wanted to tell you exactly that, though I wouldn't have said it like that. Wanted. Past tense."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Daniel flared, turning around to glare at Cameron.

"I won't lie to you. I wanted to break it off with you. But quite frankly, not for any of the reasons above, but they do apply in a certain way. I won't lie about that either. But the last week..." Cameron closed his eyes, trying to find the words he needed to say. Those he wanted to say, and they really didn't have anything to do with breaking it off anymore. "You know me, Daniel. I jump into situations without thinking about it. Deal with everything later. As I did with you. I didn't think, and frankly, I didn't *want* to think. Just feel. Thinking of last week... Yeah, we fucked a lot, and it was glorious. But that wasn't what freaked me."

"What freaked you?" Daniel queried softly, and Cameron choked on his feelings once more. How could he have ever possibly thought that he would be able to walk away from Daniel? Not a chance in hell. Not now. Not ever.

"The time between the fucking. The camaraderie we share. The comfort. Everything. It feels pretty good to just fall asleep with you and wake up with you. I wanted to break it off before you got hurt. Simply because I know myself. I jumped into the situation without thinking. And I wanted to call it quits before we both got in too deep. Before I have to realise three months from now-- that it's been a mistake. You deserve better, Daniel." Cameron shifted slightly, looking at Daniel. "I don't want to hurt you."

"So, you're not freaked by the fact that I'm a man?" Daniel asked, suspicion colouring his every word.

"Hell, no!" Cameron laughed. "You're not the first man in my bed."

"What is your New Year's Resolution?"

Cameron frowned at Daniel's off-topic and out-of-the-blue question. "What?"

"What is your New Year's Resolution?" Daniel repeated slowly, and Cameron got the feeling that he had just missed a vital point in this conversation. Which wouldn't be the first time. Daniel had lost him in the past on more than one occasion.

"Exactly that. Or was. And I'm not making any sense, am I?" Cameron smiled. "My resolution was to stop fucking around with you. In a way, it still applies, I think."

"Mine was to never tell you how much the past week meant to me," Daniel murmured, his self-hug tightening another notch.

"It's not going to be easy," Cameron replied, only realising what he meant when he had spoken the words aloud. "Keeping our relationship a secret, I mean."

A small smile quirked Daniel's lips, and Cameron felt the tension falling away from him like a ton of stones. "We have a relationship?"

"Well, we're pretty much on the road to one." Cameron smirked, but before he could add anything to his last comment, the doors slid open once more.

"Are we interrupting anything?" O'Neill asked, grinning from one ear to the other, which actually told Cameron that the general knew he was interrupting *something*.

"Actually, Jack, you are," Daniel retorted, his brows trying to meet over his nose.

O'Neill smirked. "Too bad!" He tugged Sam out on to the balcony, and Teal'c closed the doors behind him with a soft click.

Daniel sighed, rubbing his nape. "Jack, this is a private conversation. You do know the definition of private, don't you?"

"Never heard of such a thing. And what would you talk about with a man who shows up in uniform?" O'Neill took a swig from his bottle, sending Daniel a challenging look.

"He wears the dress blues because I *asked* him to, Jack," Daniel shot back, but Cameron could hear the amusement in Daniel's voice. Understandable, he guessed, since the only way to put up with Jack O'Neill was humour.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Cameron looked at Daniel and held out his hand. For a moment, he thought that Daniel wouldn't take it. Wouldn't see the offer for what it was. For a fleeting moment, Cameron was afraid, felt his heart sinking, thought he had made a mistake.

Then, warmth. The warmth and security of Daniel's hand in his. The weight that anchored him to this reality.

"That," Daniel said simply, and Cameron stumbled forward into his waiting arms.

Cameron winced, but not because he was afraid how Sam, Teal'c or O'Neill would react; Sam had just squealed into his ear. "I'm happy for you," she said simply before she hugged them briefly. "And your secret's safe with me."

"We know, Sam. Thank you," Daniel said, a slight blush tinting his cheeks.

O'Neill stared at them, taking another swig from his beer. "I didn't see that one coming," he murmured. "How long has it been going on?"

"A week," Daniel replied, sounding happy and proud, and fuck, the glow was back.

"I see." Jack downed his beer. "Well... Be happy!" Without another word, O'Neill turned around and went back into the living room, closing the glass doors none-too-gently.

"Okay, what did I just miss?" Cameron said, staring at the closed doors. "Why did he just get that pissed off?"

"Because I believe that O'Neill has similar feelings for DanielJackson as you have, Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c said seriously, not even bothering with arching an eyebrow.

Daniel stared incredulously at Teal'c, then at Sam. "Sam?"

Sam looked decisively uncomfortable in her own hide, but she returned Daniel's gaze evenly. "He wanted to tell you tonight."

Daniel closed his eyes. "Shit." He looked back at Cameron. "Do you mind if I..."

"No," Cameron said quickly. "Go and sort it out. I won't run away." Without thinking about it, he pressed an affectionate kiss on Daniel's mouth before he let him go.

~o0o~

tbc...