Sex Good, Twinkies Bad

Title: Sex Good, Twinkies Bad
Author: Jaxon
Rating: NC 17/Slash
Categories: Roswell
Disclaimer: I don't own Max or Michael, I just like to play with them
Summary: While hanging out together, Max and Michael discover that alcohol is not the only thing with an extreme effect no their alien physiology. Silly Michael, bringing those hash brownies to Max's. Oh what fun. A talking dog, twinkies, some gayness, drunk and horny aliens and hallucinations.
Authors Notes: This was a challenge I completed back in 2003 for a friend at the time named OneBadKitty. It turnned out to be a comedy fic, but although it isn't intended to be serious at all, I would advise homophobes to turn away while they still can.

Max and Michael were both shirtless in Max's room, nobody else was at home and it had been a hot day, the air still humid even though it was night time. Max had been eating some twinkies, since he couldnt care to cook and Michael had brought a large box with hundreds of them around to Max's house.

"Michael, please tell me how you got hold of so many twinkies?"

"Well Maxwell if I told you that then I'd really have to kill you."

"Something tells me I really don't wan't to know."

Max bit a chunk from another twinky and decided that was his last one for a while, he started to get that 'too much candy' feeling. Michael revealed a small bottle of vodka from the depths of his bag.

"Michael what the Hell are you doing, that crap could kill us and you know it." Max shook.

"Nope...I've been drinking in super small portions and I'm fine...sure you trip a little bit and you still feel like a total pussy because of the whole tolerance thing but it's cool Max honestly, you should try and lighten up sometime."

"Really? You mean...if I'm really careful with that stuff I can enjoy the experience?"

"That's right genius, try it."

Max eyed Michael up and closed his eyes as he simply dipped his tongue into some of the vodka. The effects were almost instantaneous.

"Michael, I think you're right...I feel...hahaha...all...swirly inside."

"That's right Maxwell, trip away mi amigo."

Michael took great pleasure in watching Max look stoned. I mean come on...Max Evans STONED...that was a sight to behold. Anyway Michael figured that he oughta join him and licked a small amount of the vodka also, it taking similar effect on Michael. The last of Michael's sobriety was spent noticing that Max was looking at his naked torso in an unusual way.

"You know Michael...not many people tell you this but...you are really great looking...for a guy I mean...you are...you just don't know it."

"Thanks man...you too I mean...you're Max Evans the superstud...not that I care or anything but...you kind of win the good looks sweeptstakes where we're concernned."

Max moved closer to Michael and softly rose his hand to his friends face and brushed it down against his cheek. Max's eyes were shining and fluidic.

"You know...if you were a girl...never mind."

"Oh come on Maxwell don't pull that shit on me...you can tell me anything...if I were a girl what?"

"I'd really...like to kiss you Michael...but not if you feel weird about it. It's not just the Vodka...I...I do think about you when I'm alone sometimes."

Michael's Jaw dropped and both his brows raised. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped slightly to the floor his elbows keeping his upper body upright.

"I kind of...well...I don't mean to sound like a fruit or anythign but I...think about you when I'm alone too Max...this is so weird...but only you...noone else....maybe everybody on Antar is asexual or something?"

"So Michael...do you think it would be wrong if I kissed you...just to see what it might be like...your lips against mine?"

Michael's eyes couldn't draw themselves away from Max's beautiful purt lips...they seemed to quiver with a hunger for Michael's own lips. It was blowing Michael's mind.

"Do it Max, just...do it."

As Max leanned in and grabbed Michael towards him, he made his lips dance around Michael's, it was a special kiss, a new kiss, a different kiss, forbidden and sweet. The softness of Max's golden skin against Michael's creamier manlier skin enabled new sensations. They could feel each others heart beating inside a kiss that seemed to last just short of forever. They broke free and openned their eyes.

"OK...I don't mean to sound weird or anything but....Max...you are one fucking Hell of a kisser."

"Thankyou Michael...I can see that you enjoyed yourself."

Max gestures his eyes toward a huge bulk in Michael's pants and shrugs at him, smiling devilishly.

"Shit...you didn't get one did you?"

"No Michael...not because I couldn't, just because I...I guess I take things slower than you."

"Stop staring at it. Max...I said stop...umm......so what are we supposed to do now?"

"What would you like me to do about it Michael?"

"You seriously don't want me to answer that question."

Max moved closer to his better built friend. One hand stroked the boys chest, the other played with his nipple. Michael shuddered instantly, almost painfully, his cock seemed to turn into lead at Max's touch.

"He likes that."

"Yes he likes that Max...more...don't make me ask you to..."

Max starts unbuttoning Michaels jeans fly wrecklessly, he can feel excitement tickling in his throat.

"I've always wondered how big you were...and...mmm...now I get to find out."

The softly-pitched groaning from Max's throat makes Michael's brain shrill.

"I guess you do...you...you do."

Michael lay completely on his back and could't bare the joy of watching whatever Max was doing and so closed his eyes and squirmed.

"Michael...you tell me everything...we both tell each other everything...but never have you told me that you were hung like a horse."

Max was speechless but still managed to smile so devilishly. Michael smirked and that in itself made Max's blood burn.

"Now you know why...Maria puts up with me...'cause I got a perfect ten...mmm."

Michael's mind was almost in agony...hearing Michael's beautiful voice murmer compliments about his cock, remebering his kiss, wanting so much more...he could hardly bare it.

Max's mouth was unhinged...the site before him was incredible. He watched Michael joly as he gripped his hand tightly around his cock. He slowly began to glide his hand over it, squeezing with fair pressure. Michael's body had a life of it's own and began to girate beneath Max's hand. Max could hardly breathe watching the look on Michael's face, a look of complete bliss and desperation. Max didn't notice but his hand had increased it's speed. His eyes widenned as he looked on at the plump, bulbus head of Michael's penis being unseathed over and over again. His mouth watered. Michael looked as though he was going to cry.

"Max...stop..I'm gonna..." He moanned.

With that Max stopped and quickly leanned against the big, bulky, toned torso of chunky, hunky Michael. He looked in to his big innocent eyes.

"I can feel your cock against my stomache...and it feels so good Michael...all of it does."

He bows his head down to meet Michael's ear.

"It felt so powerful, your cock in my hand, so strong...so heroic...Michael...you're fucking hot, you're making me...so fucking hot." Max whispered.

Michael's eyes rolled to the back of his head. This was heaven, everything. How Max looked, how he felt, how he sounded and what he said was pure perfection. It was time show Max some appreciation.

Strong Michael quickly jerked himself up and pushed Max on to the bed.

"It think...now...I should find out...why you're the one who's King."

Max smiled with his eyes scrunched up.

"I'm still not...I haven't got one Michael."

"Then I'll give you one."

Michael's body raced against his thoughts. He yanked of Max's jeans, throwing them into the corner of the room somewhere. He looked back at Max...how glorious and golden he looked just laying there waiting to be worshipped. Then he heard a dog barking. It was a slightly tinny, crackly bark but still, it was definitely a dog. He looked at Max's underwear, there was a dog's face on the pouch.

"Seriously dude, did you have to wear a novelty jock?"

Max laughed and his eyelids fluttered. The electric dog spoke and called Michael a dirty old dog.

"You got that right...go play in the garden a while."

Michael ripped off the novelty jock and threw it out of the window.

Michael's cock twanged at the site of Max's member. It was beautiful, just like his lips and his eyes and his voice and the things he said. It was almost a chocolatey colour, smooth in texture very long, only an inch shorter than Michael's but it was thick as rope. He felt his body jerk towards it, the handsome lash between Max's legs. Michael could feek how hot and moist his breath was against his face.

"Wow...who'da thunk...Skinny Evans has got the fattest cock on record."

"Touch it...please, touch it."

Michael tickled Max's balls with his fingertips, his thick manly fingertips, and Max licked his lips, sighing. Michael scrunched up some precum from his own cock, in his hand and rubbed it over Max's cock head. Both young men were so hot by now, that Michael could smell both of their cocks in the air, it was making him crazy. He pulled Max to the end of the bed and made Max's legs rest over his shoulders. He then placed his own cock in Max's crotch as he began to stroke his King's length. It was amazing, a sight to behold. Max seemed innocent but he was wild inside, rocking his his like an untame animal, it was barely possible to keep up. Both their cocks rubbed together, it was dirty, it was freaky, it was surreal...they fucking loved it. He went to Max's side so that he could kiss him and lick his golden, flawless body at the same time as pumping his meaty dick with his hard fist. The kisses were dangerous, Michael wanted Max to dissappear into his mouth. Michael nibbled at Max's tender flesh, teazed his nipple, poked at it with his tongue. Max was solemn in bliss. Michael just wanted to taste and feel. Both men purred and moanned. Michael noticed Max started whincing a little, he looked down at Max's cock his balls began to tighten quickly. Michael released his grip.

"I can't do it Max...I...I can't make you bust a nut...I'm sorry."

"It's OK, I understand...I feel the same...this is all fun and...to say the least different...the touching part is great but...if we make each other cum then...it starts to feel a little...I don't know...weird."

"I know...it's a fucked up logic but...it's like touching each other we're still just friends but...if we blow our load over each other...we're something else, right?"

"Right Michael. Plus I'm not feeling drunk any more. What the fuck are we supposed to do with these?"

Michael shrugged as Max referred to both of their rock hard penises.

"Haha, I...dunno."

Micheal shuddered a little and started feeling a little light headed.

"Umm...Max do drugs effect us the same way alcohol does?"

"Yes Michael of course it does...why...is there something I should know about?"

"Umm...the twinkies...they kind of...have an herbal blend."

"Shit Michael I ate more than you."

Michael looked back at Max and saw Maria's face. He did also see a giant cock between her legs but it didn;t seem to matter. He jumped down and began to suck as if his life depended on it.

"Michael...no...we said we wouldn't...Michael...umm...mmm...ohhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiit!"

Michael gulped and gulped relentlessly till Max was spent, laying there quivering, with a sad look on his face.

"Maria...you talk like a dude...have you always had a cock?"


Max lay whincing, he couldn't believe what just happened, he was disgusted. He looked at Michael, but he wasn't there. But Liz was. Sha had a huge cock too, but that didn't seem to matter. Max quickly swivelled over and bounced his body against Michael's pussy punisher...it was painful but he wanted more. He felt like his whole body was being invaded and punched outwards...Liz has a truely massive dick. He felt Liz release her cum in his ass, splashing against his anal walls it washed him with pleasure, hot, dirty, yummy.

The next day Max and Michael woke up in bed together naked.

"Shit Max why the fuck are we naked?"

Max's eyes looked vacant.

"I don't know Max, the air was kind of hot last night...we probably just needed to cool down or something...it's not like it matters...I mean...it's not like we had hot gay alien sex with each other is it?"

Both young men laughed for a while and then lay back allowing themselves to wake up gradually.

"Michael...can I have one of those twinkies?"

THE END