Painless

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She seemed to speak normal when they were together, alone. He didn’t understand it but he didn’t really care. When she was around everyone else, her words were broken thoughts but with him, she spoke as if she could tell him anything and he would understand her. And it scared him that he did understand her. He was never confused by her words. It was what she did, not what she said, that plagued his mind with questions. He was used to her coming down into his bunk when Serenity and her crew were asleep. Neither was sure how it happened. One thing just seemed to lead to another and they were hiding anyplace they could, kissing and feeling as much of one another as they could without getting caught. Neither could explain it and they didn’t want to. She made him smile and he made her calm. She would still whisper nonsense but it was during the throws of passion and people didn’t particularly have to make sense during such activities.

He would lie in bed and wait for the familiar creaks of her footsteps, coming down to him. She came down every night, saying that she couldn’t bear to be apart from him. He felt the same way even if he would never admit it. He didn’t really have to though. She could read his thoughts. His thoughts calmed her. There weren’t forcing into her own mind and when she was with him, she was allowed to revel in the quiet that he brought her without even knowing that that was what he was doing. He made her feel safe. For her, even in the black, she was never alone. There was always so much going on in her head, she wanted to scream, but when she was with him, it was as if they were the only two people in existence. She loved being with him. He didn’t understand what she saw in him but he wasn’t about to push her away from him. She made him feel a warmth inside of him he had never felt before and he didn’t want to lose it. He didn’t want to lose her for anything.

He was worried that he would hurt her or even break her. She was so thin and fragile compared to him but she loved that he was sometimes rough with her. She could handle him despite what he thought. When they were together, the attraction and passion between them was uncontrollable and he would get caught up in the moment. Once, they weren’t able to make it the bed and he took her against the wall of his bunk, driving into her over and over again, giving her a nasty-looking bruise on her back. He had been so guilty about it, he barely touched her for a week until one night, she came down into his bunk and punched him in the face.

“Jayne,” River said firmly. He loved when she said his name. “I love when you lose yourself in me.” She stared at him and waited for him to speak. It was what they did. They would fight, like most dysfunctional couples would from being trapped on a ship together for weeks at a time without any other form of human contact, and then they would make up and tell one another what they saw in one another. She had done it one night, saying that she loved him and he had been too stunned to say anything until one thought popped into his head and she had known it immediately. He was in love with her, too. After their confessions, she would climb on top of him and would always instigate the best makeup sex that made them both sore and almost unable to move but neither complained.

He stared at her and smirked, touching his jaw, tender from the punch. “I love that when you talk to me, it makes sense ‘cause ALL of you’s focused on me,” he said.

River smiled at that then gently cradled his head in her hands, straddling his lap. “You’re in pain.”

Jayne shrugged, trying to act tough. “Don’t hurt much,” he grunted. She knew better though. Even if she hadn’t of been able to read his mind, she knew him well enough. She brushed her lips across his injured jaw then looked at him. “Don’t hurt at all,” he decided and she smiled. It never hurt when they were together.