Lonely

Just a tiny post-ep thing. Song's "Nobody Wants to be Lonely" by Ricky Martin. I don't own
'em, but I sure like borrowing them and making them misbehave. I didn't plan it, but this
one's an NC17. This is Greg/Sara

there you are in a darkened room
and you're all alone looking out the window
your heart is cold and lost the will to love
like a broken arrow
here i stand in the shadows
come to me
come to me
can't you see that
nobody wants to be lonely
nobody wants to cry
my body's longing to hold you
so bad it hurts inside
time is precious and it's slipping away
i've been waiting for you all of my life
nobody wants to be lonely
so why
why don't you let me love you?.....


Sara Sidle stood in the darkened room watching

Grissom talking with Sophia, and her heart

curled as she watched. The body language was

unmistakable - interest, attraction, a moving

forward. She swallowed hard, the tears burning hot

and bitter behind her eyes. She stood

that way for a long time, fighting back tears as

something inside her tore asunder. In

that moment she loosed the last faint hope that Gil

Grissom would ever love her. With that

she looked away from her dying dreams and toward

the breakroom, where Nick, Warrick, and

Greg were animatedly talking. She watched them for

a while as well, an outsider looking in,

until suddenly Greg's attention strayed from the

others. He glanced around, searching

until he saw her. When their eyes met, he smiled

that shy smile she'd never seen him

offer anyone else. He put a hand up, said

something to the others, and slipped out of the

break room.


He slipped in the room and came to stand behind

her. He stood close; she could feel his

breath ruffling her hair. "So, you like standing around

in the dark?" He spoke in a near-whisper.


"No, I .... I was just thinking...." She sighed. "Do

you ever get lonely, Greg?"


"All the time, Sara. All the time."


Sara hesitated, then slipped her hand over his. He

was silent for a few moments, then pulled

her back to rest against him and pressed his cheek

to hers. "Come to my place, Sara. You

don't have to be lonely." He stroked her hair as he

spoke. "I'm not him, but I can chase

the loneliness away. And maybe, if you give me a

chance you might find out I'm what you

really needed from the start."

can you hear my voice
do you hear my song
it's a serenade
so your heart can find me
and suddenly you're flying down the stairs
into my arms baby
before i start going crazy
run to me
run to me
'cause i'm dying.....

She stepped into Greg's warm, very messy

apartment. It was like him - comfortable, untidy,

and eccentric. A lava lamp side beside a bookshelf

full of scientific books and journals,

but on the other side of that bookshelf was a

rocking chair with a handmade quilt thrown

over it. He smiled at her from the kitchen. "Want

something to eat? Something to drink?"


"I'd love a cup of coffee."


He smiled gently. "I'll get it started." He watched her intently as she sat gingerly on his

ratty sofa. "Uh, sorry 'bout the mess..."


She smiled reassuringly. "Not a problem. It's

comfortable."


He shrugged. "I try." He poured her a cup of coffee

as he spoke. "You take no sugar, extra

cream." He smiled nervously. "I know what you like."

He handed her the cup. "Your coffee."


Their hands brushed as he handed her the cup, and

she gasped at the rush of sensation. Not

the first time she'd felt that zap of chemistry from

Greg Sanders by far - but strangely

different somehow. Maybe now she was open to it,

considering the possibilities. "Thanks,"

she whispered, and looked into his dark

eyes. "Anybody... anybody ever tell you that your

eyes are amazing?"


He actually blushed. "Not lately." He sat next to

her. "So what happened back there?"


She sighed. "I don't know, Greg; I guess the last of

my hope that Grissom and I.... I mean,

it's just not there, not going to be there. And on

one level, I am truly relieved. But

at the same time, I realized I don't fit anywhere any

more...."


He slid over and put his hand on her arm. His voice

was soft. "But you do. Sara, you fit

right here, right here." He tapped his chest. "And

whatever happens or doesn't happen, you

have that for as long as you're willing to accept it. I

know you don't love me like you do

Grissom, but I think I love you enough to make up

for it. Maybe with time you could come to

care for me..." He put his arms around her.


Sara pressed close. "I do care for you, Greg. It's

more concrete with us, more physical.

Grissom is all theory and ideals, and my feelings for

him were in kind. With you it's

so..." She shook her head, not finding words. "My

feelings for you have been changing,

especially since we've been in the field together -

and I would be less than honest if I

didn't admit that I have been ... noticing you... as a

man more and more. We've been

together a lot lately. I've realized things about you I

never looked away from Grissom

long enough to notice. Greg, you are one of the

warmest, kindest men I've ever gotten to

know. You're warm and affectionate, sensitive when

you need to be. How is it I never

noticed how you always know what I need and do

everything in your power to see to it

that I get it? And, yes, there's chemistry. Always

has been."


He looked up sharply. "Wait a minute. You mean that

when we first started working together

you wanted me?" He grinned. "Seriously?"


She chuckled. "Yeah, I thought you were attractive,

but kind of annoying."


"So I'm not annoying any more? Glad to hear that."


"Oh, you're still annoying all right, and that's not a

problem, but the part that drove me

crazy before was that I liked you, but I didn't WANT

to be attracted to you."


He frowned in confusion. "Why not?"


"The age difference, the fact that I had just moved

to vegas to be with Grissom - and I

thought you really weren't my type. You're an

extrovert, and I usually went for the quiet,

bookish type; you're younger, I nearly always dated

older men. Yes, Greg, as you well know

you are very handsome-" this earned a strangled

snort and a muttered 'yeah, right' - "-yes,

you are- and also very charming, but sometimes you

ladeled on the BS with a very large

shovel...."


He shook his head. "I'm not handsome, and I

stretched the truth to impress you. You seemed

to hate me, and I wanted you to see me as

something other than a loser. I'm a nerd, Sara, a

nerd and a dork."


She snorted derisively. "And GRISSOM isn't?"


"I, ummm, wasn't looking at it like that...."


"Once I got out in the field with you, got to know

the real you, I began to understand that

the cockiness was covering a huge well of

insecurity. Not entirely; you're very confident

intellectually, justifiable so; you're brilliant. Socially,

though, you're as unsure of

yourself as ... as...."


"As you are." He touched her face. "I got to know

you too, y'know."


She nodded. "When you opened up that part of

yourself, I stopped feeling like quarry and

became your friend. You are an amazing man, Greg.

All the times I rejected you, and still

you took that leap of faith and opened up and made

yourself vulnerable to me, shared

secrets, held me up when I needed it. I haven't

been closed to you for a long time -but

you stopped flirting, quit asking...."


"I value your friendship. It didn't feel right to keep

throwing myself at you when you had

made it clear you weren't interested in me like that.

We're friends now, Sara. Whatever

else does or doesn't come of ... of this, I don't want

to lose that." His eyes were a

little sad. "I have it on good authority that I tend to

go overboard in relationships. I've

never done well with boundaries."


She shrugged. "Not surprising; you're a pretty

intense kinda guy. I've been accused of the

same thing at times." She licked her lips. "Beats the

hell out of icy detachment."


He leaned forward and took her empty coffee cup

from her hands, then placed it on the

coffee table. "That I have never, ever been accused

of...." He stroked her cheek. "You

are so beautiful. How any man could not fall in love

with you I will never know..."

He leaned forward and lightly brushed her lips with

his. "So sweet..." - his mouth stroked

across hers as he spoke - "... I would never hurt

you..." - his soft lips pressed against

hers, then withdrew as he moved to nuzzle her ear -

"...only want to make you happy..."


Sara gasped at the sensations. He had moved his

attentions to her neck, one of her serious

hot button areas. Oh yes, she was in trouble. He

was very, very good at this. "Greg," she

whimpered as he devoured first her ear, then her

tender throat, then slowly, softly claimed

her mouth. She parted her lips for him, and he

slipped his tongue into her mouth. The man

could kiss, she thought as he ravaged her defenses

with devastating tenderness.


They were both panting like marathoners when

finally he came up for air. "Wow," she

whispered. "That was, ummm...."


He chuckled softly. "Yeah, there's definitely

chemistry here." He lowered his lips to hers

again, starting the sensual assault anew. His kisses

deepened, their tongues dancing, his

fingers twining in her hair. When he pulled back for a

moment just to look at her, she saw

his eyes were wild with passion, yet his kisses were

soft and gentle when he returned to

her ears and neck.


She was unraveling in his arms. He had moved his

assault from her neck to her shoulder,

then across her chest to push down her tank top

just enough to nuzzle the very tops of her

breasts. She wasn't wearing a bra, a fact he was

very soon going to discover if she didn't

stop him. She whimpered; she really should put the

brakes on, but what he was doing was

taking her apart. She moaned as he boldly pushed

her shirt down to fully expose her breast,

then put his mouth over it. He moans grew louder as

he kept on, moving from one breast to

then other, then back again.


She wasn't going to stop him. She should, but it was

too good, and she needed what he was

giving her like she needed oxygen. Her clothes were

all off now, as were his, and they had

moved to the floor. She was wild, thrashing as he

touched her, kissed her everywhere,

finally slipping between her legs to merge fully into

her. "Love you," he gasped at the

end, when her cries of release triggered his own

climax. "Always love you...."


"I love you too, " she breathed as they lay together

in the firestorm's aftermath. As she

snuggled close to him, Sara realized she didn't feel

lonely at all any more.