Rimmer's Story

I own the oringal character! Yeah! I don't own Red Drawf.

“Rimmer we can’t do this.” Panting, I try to steady myself against his almost immaculate uniform, except for the pants around the ankles.
“What do you mean?” I lay my head on his shoulder, trying to slow my beating heart.
“I just can’t.”
“I see.” His hands fall from my thigh, yanking his pants back up he flings open the supply closet door. Giving me one last he leaves me alone. I pull my underwear back on. We had been going at it pretty hot and heavy in the closet but I just couldn’t. Not here. Not for my first time.

It was cold at first, almost like ice. The green hull of the container I was in felt familiar. Pushing against the lid it moved slightly then throwing my weight against it, it flew open, pulling me along with it. I spilled out on the deck of somewhere. “….” I couldn’t speak. I didn’t even know if I could before. Looking down I was naked. Completely. This was wrong; I was supposed to be clothed. Crouching along the walls, I found an old pair of overalls. There was some writing on it. My head clouded in a fog every time I tried to read it. Slipping them on, they at least felt warm. I explored the hallways but I felt so exhausted, I fell asleep on some old canvas shipping bags.

“Orange Alert, Orange Alert.” Holly’s head popped up in front of Lister while he was shaving causing him to cut himself.
“Damnit Hol, what now?”
“There is an unidentified life form in the cargo area.”
“Fine Hol.” Wiping off the remaining foam he stuck the towel to Holly’s face.
“Did Holly tell you, sir?” Kyten appeared a little over anxious to check out this life form.
“Yes. Lets go.”

Lister led the small group down the stairs. Holly had said that the life form hadn’t moved since they discovered it. “Man, my nostrils are quivering faster than a fat ladies bum in aerobics class!” Slowly they rounded a corner, they saw a shape curled up on the bags.
“Ready with your bokuzoids, boys?” They circled around the shape. Kytron bulked at the readings.
“Excuse me, sirs!”
“What is it, Kytren?”
“The scanner says that this life form is human.”
“Human.” Listers eyebrows lifted.
“Female, to be exact.”
“Alright.”
“According to these readings she’s been in stasis for over 3 million years.” They hauled her up to the medi-unit. Lister left to go get some female officer clothes. That’s how Rimmer found him.
“Lister, what are you doing?”
“Rimmer you’re not going to believe what happened.”
“Coming from you? Never.”
“We found another human! Downstairs in the cargo bay.”
“Uh-huh. Listy, Listy. I doubt that this human is real. Face it the human species was wiped out a few millenia ago.”
“Hang on! What about me!” “Again, I say, the human species was wiped out a long time ago.”
“Git!”

Her eyes slowly opened. My god I’m blind! “Hello, miss.” She jumped at the sudden noise. A misshapen head came towards her. She screamed and then fell into a faint. Rimmer raced in.
“What is going….” Then he spied her.
“Janey.” He breathed.
“You know her?” Rounding the table he reached her head. Smoothing down the limp curls from her face he rubbed one hand.
“Janey…Janey…wake up, Janey.” Her brow furrowed like she was trying to hold on to a dream. Green eyes looked up into blue ones. She launched herself into his arms.
“Oh Arnold I had this horrible dream that I couldn’t remember anything and then this mal-formed head like a trash compactor came after me!” She practically clung on to him. She heard a cough from behind her. Looking back she spotted someone she knew, because her father spouted on and on about the fights between him and Arnold.
“Dave Lister?”
“Hey she knows me. The reputation of the Listmister still lives.”
“Step aside; this is a job for a real cool guy. Hi, I’m The Cat!” Picking up her hand he started to lick the back of it.
“Uh. Nice to meet you The Cat.” She discreetly wiped the drool-covered hand on the back of the overalls. She did miss the slight murdous glint in Rimmers eyes. Scanning the room she cringed when her eyes fell upon the head of Kytren. Rimmer squeezed her hand in reassurance.