The Owners Maunal

Count Anthony DiMera The Owners' Manual:

Name: Count Anthony DiMera. Nicknames: Tony, sex god, my dark angle, my dark god. exct.
Type: Human male, rumored to be half god.
Site of Manufactory: small town in Aussie land.
Height: 5'10
Weight: unknown best guess is about 180 lbs of manliness.
Electrical Connection: Not necessary.

Installation:

Your Anthony DiMera is fully able to understand most everything upon activation. The unit has been pre-programmed to understand, American English, UK English, Aussie slang, Latin, Italian, German and most other European langue. He can also understand most written codes and spoken codes.


Operation: This unit can be a little tricky due to his temperament. One must operate with caution, when giving intrusions. Do not fraise things in the way of commands. This unit has been known to get violent when given commands. Most common responses to this are one of the following.


Taking of women over the shoulder and being taught a lesson in the bedroom. Excessive spankings, followed by being disciplined and more time spend in the bedroom. While this may not seem like punishment, trust us when we say this.


This is not something you want, seeing as how this is punishment. Female users will be left very unpleased. Male users have reported lose of limbs and being broken mentally. While their wives, girlfriends, sisters, and other female friends exct. Have reported heavy petting, kissing, touching, and propositions along with marriage offers.


Other punishments that have been reported is as followed. Being locked in cell in the middle of a un-named jungle. Having one's death faked, and life turned into a living nightmare. Having one's face or body altered by way of plastic surgery. There has even been a few cases of brain washing and the lose of identity. While these last problems are rare, they are most common for male users. Leaving us with no other recourse to legally but to say to "Risk what you will, for it is your life."

Lastly due to this units own personality and lawsuits. We can not sell this unit to any male users. Unlike the LOTR's units, the Count Tony unit does not have a slash setting. In fact also due to legal reasons, we can not sell this unit to anyone who owns.


A Bo, Roman, John, Abe, or another male unit. From any other manufacture, for dismemberment of the other male units is not only common but 100 percent will happen. We also recommend not buying this unit if you are married. Or have a boyfriend or a bed buddy or any other close male in your life other than a blood relative. For your Tony unit will not tolerate other men, moving in on his woman.


Uses for this unit: Your Tony unit is well suited to all kinds of situations. He can cook, massage, read poetry, kiss and make love. He is also well versed in hot wild sex, and other fun sexual things. Your Tony unit is also good at giving comfort, love, and standing by you when all others turn against you. He can also get you out of jail, sprit you out of the country and do many other useful things.


Case in point if you have small children in your care, your Tony unit will make an excellent father. Warning if you are use to working and having a career of any kind. You may have to deal with Your Tony's unit's insistence of he's the man. Thus he will provided, all financial security. This however is only in extreme cases, due to the fact that the unit does not normal mind if "his" woman works.


Trouble shooting: Question: Your Tony unit becomes highly upset with you for spending your time working. He seems to take this as a slap in the face. Yet at first he did not mind your desire to amuse your self. He now demands you stop gallivanting about and take care of the children. Even if you have none.


Answer: Your Tony has somehow become Mr. Thaao Penghlis in some way. While this is in no way a bad thing, Mr. Penghlis has many qualities that are both wonderful and in many ways much better than Count DiMera. For Mr. Penghlis is much more normal and more carefree than Count DiMera. And dare we say, much more loving and understanding. One of his draw backs, if you want to call it that. Is that Mr. Penghlis is much more old fashioned.

Thus if you must try and reason with him. Be firm and try to explain why working means so much to you. This should work, but in the event that you find your ex-Tony/Thaao unit gone. Simply call and we will replace your Tony unit, free of charge. While this is very rare, we feel that we must replace if somehow it happends.

Accessories that come with your Tony. Two gold rings of onyx with magical firebirds upon them. Also two fashionable tux’s, three suits and casual wear. Along with single most powerful cell phone on the planet. Also comes with mini DiMera mansion and small bag of magic powder.

While you can use the powder as you wish, we here at Salem units recommend that you use it on the mini mansion to re-create the DiMera mansion. For your Tony unit will work best when in his natural habitat. For those customers who live in Austria, we recommend that you pant the mini mansion first in local colors and treat it with anything else that you need to for weather reasons.

Final note to customers, we can not state enough that if you own another male unit. DO NOT BUY THIS UNIT. Things will go badly for your other units and you will be confided to your bedroom until hell freezes over. You will not be happy about it. Thank you again for buying The Count Anthony DiMera unit. We here at Salem units thank you for your business.