Warrick's Rescue

Disclaimer: Follow the evidence. If I owned them this would be on CBS instead of the internet. The characters are owned by Anthony Zuicker and those lovely people at CBS. I dont make any money from this. I just bring them out to play.

This is an answer to a list challenge
*Must be GSR
*It must be centered around a holiday, but NOT Christmas or Valentine's Day.
*Someone must use the phrase "Well, you sure could have fooled me!"
*These three items must appear in the story somewhere...
* An apron
* A deck of cards
* Chocolate Bon-Bons
*There should be a mention of an ex-boy/girlfriend.
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I never would have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. I mean the whole thing is just too freaky for words. Let me set this up for you, but you probably won’t believe it either.

Here’s the deal. I roll into the department Fourth of July picnic lookin to cut loose a little before shift. Every year the night shift crew has a big blowout around back with the other county guys stuck working nights. Naturally we can’t drink since we’re all on call, but it’s a nice night anyway. Unless we get called out we just hang and watch the fireworks after dark.

This year is no different from any other. Brass is manning the grill in a “Kiss the Cook” apron. Greg is over by a picnic table shamelessly flirting with Sara. I hate to tell the kid that he’s not even a blip on that babe’s radar.

Nick is helping Brass as usual, hauling ice for the cooler. He’s been pretty quiet since he got back from leave, and for Nick that’s sayin something. He tells me he’s ok and I have to take the man at his word. Every day he’s a little more like himself, but he’s still a long way from the Nick we all know and love.

Catherine and Sophia are surrounded by a group of drooling men. Nothin new about that, except this time they’re watching her mouth instead of her cleavage. She’s eating chocolate bon-bons and damn if she’s not hot. I ought to set up a webcam and charge $4.99 a minute just to watch the woman eat.

There’s who I’m lookin for. Grissom is waiting for me over at another table. He always sits on the end of the table so he can see both sides at once. I see he already has most of the seats filled and the cards out. These rookies won’t know what hit them. Blackjack is more my game, but Texas Hold’em has it’s appeal. Grissom is just a shark. These young pups think watching World Poker Tour and playing on their computers gives them an edge over the old geek. They don’t know the man was probably playing when they were in diapers.

We play a few hands and the rookies are starting to figure out what they’re up against. By then the lovely ladies in the departments are starting to circulate around. That’s another thing I can’t quite track. Every chick in the place has her eye on Grissom. What is with that? Now Nick is a nice lookin guy and I’m not exactly lackin myself. But Grissom? He’s a middle aged, bow-legged, pigeon-toed, scientist who plays with bugs and dyes his hair. And he’s not even subtle when he dyes it. I mean let’s get real here folks. What is so attractive about this guy that all these young ladies want him? Does he strap it to his ankle or something?

I can’t even try to figure it out when I see it. Here comes trouble with a capital T. Sara has her back to him so she doesn’t even know he’s there until he’s all up in her face. I keep an eye on her while we play, just in case there’s trouble. I know there will be. No one on night shift liked Hank to begin with and when everyone found out what he did to Sara, well that just dropped his popularity rating a zillion points.

Grissom saw him too. How can I tell? The same way I could tell when Hank was around when Sara was dating him. That little vein in his head starts pounding. I think he had a sense that Hank wasn’t all he seemed before. Cath said he’s like that and tried to warn her about Eddie years before.

I hear Sara yell for Hank to leave her alone and I move, but Grissom’s faster. Nick and Brass are moving too. Now Hank’s really mad. He’s calling her names, saying she’s cold and couldn’t please a real man if she tried. Grissom steps up and tells Hank that now that Sara has a real man, she does just fine. That’s when it happened. Grissom grabbed Sara and kissed her. Now I’m not talking about a little peck kiss. This was a real tonsil exam.

Hank took off in a huff and the girls that were checking Griss out earlier were jealous as hell. When he finally let Sara up for air, I think the whole department needed a cigarette. I figured Sara would hit him, but she just looked at him with a grin and a glazed look in her eyes. I know that look.

I asked Brass how long Griss and Sara have had a thing, and he says they don’t. After a kiss like that, well you sure could have fooled me.

So that brings me to this. I get called out to this motel on the edge of town. It’s not a crime scene and no police are called, but dispatch says I was requested. I get there and the manager lets me into the room, chuckling the whole time. It’s Grissom. He says he called me because he knows of all the guys I’ll keep my mouth shut. It’s unbelievable.

The man is naked as the day he was born, handcuffed to the headboard. Sara’s there too, but at least she’s somewhat covered in that crotchless black lace number, but she’s handcuffed to him. Why did they call me? They dropped the keys.

I’m not sure what was worse. Seeing Grissom naked, seeing him with Sara obviously having sex, or seeing him tied up like that. Anyway you look at it, I’m gonna have nightmares.