Finding Fatherhood

This story was orginally started my myself and Nackerchicki on Tribe Talk. It has been a while since I have heard from her and her e-mail doesn't work anymore. I decided to post this story here. I'm also going to credit Nacker with the chapters that she wrote, like this first chapter was by her. She wrote it to help me to come up with the subsequent chapter.

I hope you enjoy and if you're out there Nacker, please e-mail me. rpblaze@comcast.net I would like to try and finsh this with you. If possible.

Disclamer: Nackerchicki nor I own the characters from The Tribe. The only characters that we own are Clara and Angela.

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Chapter One

She looked different.

She looked terrible.

Blonde roots grew prominently from hair that was once carefully tinted in deep blue shades; the dull, washed out color now hung limply against her cheeks. Sallow cheeks that were pale and seemingly ghost-like in their appearance, setting off the contrasting dark circles under her blue eyes that always seemed guarded.

Clara shifted and looked at the man she had known so well, without ever really knowing him at all. She never thought she would see him again, and he didn't doubt that. They were never in love, but they were there for each other when it counted.

"I'm not feeling so good, Lex." She said it with tepid humor, and she seemed to shrink under the large, navy blue coat and the homely, flat shoes she wore. The outfit surprised him, she had been known to wear fitted things, bright, sometimes neon, like her lime green, latex corset that wrapped around her slender body so well.

"Come on in," Lex said, nodding towards the steps that would bring them to the café. She trudged up slowly, using the railing to steady herself as she approached the landing. When she reached the top she panted slightly and, by the time Lex turned to look at her once more, she was wavering on her feet.

He reached out, grabbing her arm and guiding her to a chair while she clung to his forearm. She eased down and followed him with her eyes until he took a seat himself.
"So... What's wrong with you, Clara?"

She gave a short barking laugh, reaching for the large, black button and releasing it. "Can't you guess?"

The round, protruding stomach looked odd on her. Her face had been so thin, and it seemed only her belly, and her breasts, full in preparation of a child, seemed to dominate her. It took him a stretch of time to respond, his eyes glued to her belly.

"You're pregnant."

"It's yours," she said with a dissatisfied sigh.

"How can you be so sure?" Lex questioned, putting on the defense he was accustomed to.
"I wouldn't be here otherwise," she bit out, folding her arms across her stomach.

He leaned back in a chair, knowing it was probably true. They'd had a brief relationship, and he couldn't pin down exactly when, but around eight or nine months ago was a good guess.

It was during the elections, he'd been fighting with Tai-San a lot, but she refused to hear him out or acknowledge that he felt hurt. The more she pushed him away, the worse the pain, and later, when she had time, she would sate him with sex. The Guardian was more important, and she told him that plainly, repeatedly. He suspected that she didn't take their marriage seriously and, in the end, it was a horrible twist that she was the only woman he'd really loved.

When he told her it was The Guardian or him, she walked away.

By the time she disappeared he'd been with Clara for a while, meeting at the bar and having sex the first night. When Tai-San went missing the pain rose and he used Clara to forget it - and it worked.
It wasn't romantic, he was attractive and arrogant, and that's what she liked in a man. She was hot, and easy. She never bothered to notice he wasn't as confident as he appeared. Then again, he never noticed she was only with him because she felt like it, just a stop on the way to something else.

In the end he needed Clara to forget his problems and wanted her with him all the time, but she refused to move into the Mall. The mere thought of anything resembling a relationship made her break into titters of laughter and they settled on trysts in at the Love Shack. She grew to like it, especially since it was made because of her, and she often stayed after they'd been together to sleep under the leopard print covers while he headed back to the Mall.

Lex shook his head at the memories. "Why'd you leave?"

"I'm sure you know," she answered. "Really, Lex, I was never going to stick around."

He nodded, dismissing the thoughts of when he started to develop feelings for her and she shrugged them off. She always was on her way to the next town, the next big scene. The lack of regard, it was like Tai-San in that aspect, it made him understand how he had treated others. Thankfully, by the time he was with Clara he wasn't fool enough to believe that he could affect the situation.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She looked meek for a moment, and he had never seen her resembling anything of the kind. "By the time I found out I was in Liberty and I was cramping a lot. I thought I was going to lose it so I didn't think it was worth it to come back."

"That mother instinct kicking in on you?" Lex asked bitterly.

"Easy for you to say, isn't it? Let's be honest, Lex," she said, leaning forward as much as she could. "This was my problem, you weren't going to help me."

"I would have," he said firmly, honestly.

She just shook her arms. "Fine, Lex. You'll have your opportunity now."

"Why do you mean?"

She shrunk into her coat again. "I've been back a while, but you were with someone else. Siva."
He nodded. "She's..."

"I know. I thought... I don't know what I thought, but... I said I wasn't well... This pregnancy hasn't been easy, Lex. I've been sick a lot, I can't eat, and when I do, I vomit. I still get cramps but... they're in my chest. It's like my heart his trying to catch up with the rest of me, or maybe the rest of me is trying to catch up with it."

She was quiet and he reached out to cover her hand with his. She opened her mouth to say more but when she realized how vulnerable she looked she cracked a smile and pulled her hand away.

"I've been good to it," she said as she patted her stomach. "I tried to eat, even though it made me sick."

"Clara?"

She sighed and moved in the chair. "What? I just thought you should know."

She stood up, with a firm hand on the table. He reached for her, but she rejected him. "I'm used to doing this alone."

"That was your decision," Lex challenged. "I asked you to stay."

"For what?" she shrugged. "We weren't in love. I thought you were the hottest guy in the city, and I don't know what you thought of me, but it the word 'trollop' probably summed it up nicely."

"Where're you going?" Lex asked as she headed for the steps.

"Home, but I'll be back."

"You can stay here."

"If I wanted," Clara laughed. "I don't. Bye, Lex."

He watched her carefully descend the steps before dropping back into his chair, and trying to make sense of what just occurred.

Outside the figure with two-toned hair of blonde and blue passed two-toned hair of violet and black. Clara wrapped her coat around her tighter, hiding her body. Trudy watched her as she went, the guarded look Clara wore drawing her attention. Trudy looked back to the Mall, wondering if she came from inside.

"Lex," she said as she trotted up the stairs. "Did that girl come from in here?"

He looked at her with a blurry look, shaking his head. Quietly he answered.

"I'm not sure."

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

"A few more?" Trudy asked. Surely, the value of apples hadn't risen that much. The peddler nodded and dropped three more apples into the cloth bag she'd given him.

"Are we going back soon?" Gel sighed. "My feet are starting to hurt."

Trudy looked down as she paid the merchant and retrieved the bag. "You shouldn't have worn heels then."

"They're new, I have to break them in."

"That's what we're doing."

Trudy headed toward the far end of the market and heard Gel sigh, but she wanted to browse. Brady was with Amber today, and the break was a nice release. Her daughter was getting older now, talking quite well, and talking a lot. Her babbling was precious, but sometimes it was nice to take a walk without hearing her daughter asking for something. In afterthought, she saw that she shouldn't have said yes when Gel asked to go along. She was just as restless as Brady was when she became tired.
They turned a corner where the market became wider, browsing the jewelry.

"Look," Gel said, pointing to a long, garishly beaded necklace on display.

Trudy's eyes drifted in a different direction, to a well-fashioned star, reminding her of the Mallrats symbol. It was sliver and polished much like Lex's badge.

Poor Lex. He'd been so distracted for so long, she remembered walking up the stairs and seeing him sitting with that look of confusion on his face two weeks ago. It was sad to see him so detached and removed from himself.

Today, she'd called his name to tell him Salene was searching for him - she had to repeat it a few times before he even looked her way. It was understandable; after all, he'd just lost Siva . . .

Her mood fell a little in sympathy for Lex as Gel lost interest and they began to walk once more. When they turned down a quiet street, headed for the Mall the younger girl let out a bite of 'finally.' The click of their shoes was the only sound.

Until the moan.

Clara leaned against the wall, clutching her stomach. She'd been in labor for days, stumbling around when she could, plopping to the ground when she couldn't. It had been weeks since she'd told Lex she'd be back, but she couldn't see his face again. He had been bewildered and unsure, she didn't even think he'd want a child.

"Are you okay?" Trudy asked, approaching her with an outstretched hand as Gel hung back, worry lines forming on her young face. The girl in such pain looked familiar, Trudy was sure she had seen her before. Clara greeted her as she greeted everyone that had asked the same question.

"I'm fine. Get lost."

"You're not fine," Trudy observed. "You're in labor."

"Another genius," she spat. "You have nothing to offer so--"

She cut herself off and fell to her knees; she scrapped the hard ground with her nails, tearing them up. She screamed into the arm of her coat and leaned into the wall, crying. Trudy was right next to her, holding her arm. Finally, the pain subsided long enough for Clara to gasp a breath Trudy spoke softly.

"I can help you."

"Get away from me."

"I've been through this, I know what to do."

Clara didn't move at first, the words sinking into her mind. Finally she looked over, her eyes almost like they were seeking something. Gel strained to hear their words, now being speaking softly, but she couldn't bring herself to come closer. She was scared and didn't want to go near anything that could be a problem.

"You did this?" Clara asked.

"Yes. I have a daughter: Brady. She's getting big, three years old, almost four and I'm okay," she said in reassurance.

Clara looked to the ground, and her hand, her nails were cracked and bloody. "I won't be okay."

"You will, you will! You'll see!" Trudy encouraged.

"I was never supposed to have a baby," she responded. "I didn't want to tell him."

She began to cry, and Trudy put her arm around her. "It's all right."

"I wasn't supposed too," she said through shaky tears. "I was in a car accident when I was a kid, there was a tear in my heart."

Another contraction began and her face grew red as she muffled a scream before she babbled incoherently.

"I wasn't . . . I . . . My body can't take the strain. I thought when the cramps . . ."

Trudy held her tighter until she began to convulse, hollering hoarsely before vomiting on the ground in front of her. Trudy's eyes lit with fright but Gel jumped back, even though she wasn't anywhere near them.

"Ew," she whispered.

"You have to come with me," Trudy whispered. "Can you do that?"

"I can," she cried, blissfully happy the contraction was subsiding. "I can. I can . . ."

"Gel, help me."

Gel looked over, fright freezing her. She shook her blonde curls and uttered something until it was loud enough to hear. "No."

"Gel! Now! She needs help!"

"Trudy! I can't!"

Clara screamed again and Trudy grew angry. "Get over here!"

Gel hopped on her heels a moment before crying out, "Okay! Just... ew."

She come over reluctantly, Trudy put the girl's arm around her own shoulders, the bag of apples falling from her shoulder and to the ground. Gel leaned over and threw them over her own shoulder. She stepped in the puddle of sickness and squealed out in disgust.

"Gel," Trudy called. She nodded and hurried over; throwing the girl's other arm over her shoulder and trying to hold on. The mystery girl leaned heavily on them both and they stumbled a few times as her weight rested against them. They had to get her to the Mall.

"What's your name?" Clara asked through stumbling steps.
"Trudy," she said, trying to steady her.

"Gel," the shortest of the three answered with a face screwed up in revulsion at her situation.
"What's yours?" Trudy asked.

Clara didn't answer, just whimpered as the pain hit once more.