Sexual Healing

***I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I profit in any way from their use.


Lorenzo gazed out over the black water, trying desperately to keep the darkness at bay. It was always worse at night, the struggle to keep the memories from invading his every thought, taking over his mind until there was nothing left except the constant refrain of how he had failed everyone he ever loved. Sophie had died scared and alone, because he chose the life over her, even if the choice was only meant to be temporary. Sage had died the same way. Even Luis, certainly no innocent, deserved better than his fate. “Why does everyone around me die?” Lorenzo agonized, his voice barely audible over the sloshing sound of the water hitting the pilings underneath the pier.

“You know, they say talking to yourself is fine; it’s when you begin to answer yourself that you have to worry.”

Recognition was immediate, and Lorenzo’s nostrils flared as he tried to control the surge of anger flooding through his body. “Officer Spencer, are you stalking me?”

“Relax, Alcazar. I’m off duty.”

“Right,” Lorenzo scoffed. “You’re like a dog after a bone, just digging and digging, until you find something to sink your teeth into.”

“Unlike you, Sonny and Jason, I’m more than my job.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Figure it out, asshole.”

“Must you be so vulgar? I find it completely distasteful.”

Lucky’s laughter echoed across the water. “You’re such a fucking snob.”

“Careful, boy. I know the district attorney isn’t exactly an admirer of mine, but I don’t think it would be a stretch to claim harassment and get a restraining order against you.”

“Everything is not about you, Alcazar. I grew up in this town, spent a lot of time down here on the docks dreaming about a better life.”

The wistful tone caught Lorenzo’s interest, despite his instincts to the contrary. “And what did this better life entail?”

“New York City … Elizabeth wanted to be an artist, and I wanted to be a musician.”

“What happened?”

“Life, or, more precisely, the Cassadines. Helena kidnapped me, letting everyone in Port Charles think I had died in a fire. Elizabeth mourned, but eventually she tried to move on with her life. I made my way back to her, and we tried like hell to overcome all the obstacles. We hung on for much too long. It ended badly, as relationships are prone to do. Now she’s a single mother studying to be a nurse, and I’m a cop. Go figure.”

“Do you still love her?”

Lucky frowned at the question, reluctant to think too deeply about it. “I’ll always love Elizabeth. Am I still in love with her? I don’t know. Most days I think I’m over it, but, once in a while, I long to feel her in my arms again.” He walked over to the bench and sat down with a heavy sigh, burying his face in his hands.

The mumbled words were too faint for Lorenzo to decipher, so he stepped closer, leaning over Lucky’s slumped figure until he heard, “I’m so tired of being alone.”

“How do you feel about having a male companion?”

“Excuse me?” Lucky asked incredulously, raising his head in sudden alarm.

“You heard me.”

“I’m not gay, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“For God’s sake, Lucky. Show a little imagination.”

“Meaning?”

“You could be bisexual or bi-curious, or just plain fucking curious.”

“Now who’s being vulgar?” Lucky chided with a wicked grin.

“You’re trying my patience, boy.”

“And that’s another thing. You keep calling me boy. I’m no boy.”

“Prove it,” Lorenzo challenged, his brown eyes burning with an intensity that had Lucky squirming uncomfortably.

“Are you offering to set me up with some guy?”

“No, I’m asking you to come home with me.”

Lucky was speechless. His mouth dropped open, and he stared at Lorenzo with great consternation. “You want to sleep with me?”

“Yes,” Lorenzo said succinctly.

“Why? You don’t even like me.”

“Correction, I don’t like Officer Spencer. I think I could like Lucky Spencer very much.”

“Lorenzo, I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, we’re making progress. At least you called me by my first name.” His thumb brushed across Lucky’s mouth, outlining the full, beautifully shaped lips with a tender caress that had the younger man trembling in reaction.

“You’ve been with a man before?”

“Yes, a few times.”

“It wasn’t strange?”

“The first time I was a little freaked out,” Lorenzo confessed. “Pretty much like you are right now.”

“I don’t know.”

“We can always forget this conversation, if that’s what you want.” Lucky didn’t respond, so, after a couple of minutes, Lorenzo got to his feet and started toward the stairs.

“What if it’s not what I want?” Lucky whispered.

“Come home with me and find out.” The seductive persuasion in Lorenzo’s husky plea sent delicious chills up and down Lucky’s spine, and he was astonished to feel himself getting hard.

“What if I get there and change my mind, or if I’m not comfortable doing whatever it is you want me to do?”

“First of all, you can change your mind at any time. Secondly, tonight is about you, and whatever you want to do.”

“That’s just it,” Lucky stated quietly. “I don’t know what I want to do. How can I? I’ve never done it before.” The moment was too surreal, and he closed his eyes, wondering if he had lost touch with reality. “Why would you want to be with a guy? Half the women in this town would kill to sleep with you.”

Lorenzo looked out at the water again, the familiar fatigue starting to wash over him. “It’s different, Lucky. A kind of connection that just doesn’t happen with a woman.” Regretting his impulsive behavior, Lorenzo took a deep breath and retreated behind the façade that he was usually so careful to maintain. “Please accept my apologies for being presumptuous. Goodnight.”

“Don’t go.”

“This was a mistake.”

“Are you saying you’re not attracted to me?”

“I think we both know that’s not true.”

“Then I want to go home with you.”

With a nod of acquiescence, Lorenzo turned and continued up the stairs. Lucky followed closely behind, his brain a jumbled mass of contradictory thoughts about mobsters, homosexuality and a sudden appreciation for the way Lorenzo’s ass looked as he climbed the stairs. Neither man spoke again until they were in Lorenzo’s hotel room. He fixed them both a drink, vodka on the rocks, draining his dry before Lucky had taken more than a sip.

“Searching for courage in a bottle? Shouldn’t that be me instead of you?”

“It’s been a long time.”

“Why me?”

“The kind of loss you’ve experienced; I know how that feels.”

“You share my pain?” Lucky gulped down the rest of his drink and handed the glass back to Lorenzo. “Exactly how does that translate into you wanting to fuck me?”

“Damn it, Lucky. If all I wanted was someone to give me a hard time, I’d go looking for Lois.”

“If easy is what you want, you should have hired a hooker.”

Like a caged panther, Lorenzo paced back and forth across the room, throwing occasional angry glances in Lucky’s direction. “I’ve swallowed the hurt for years, but it requires a tremendous amount of effort. Tonight I just feel exhausted. I want to rest; I need to rest.”

“This is about more than Sage, or your brother, isn’t it?”

Lorenzo shrugged off his jacket and poured himself another vodka. “Years ago, I had a fiancé,” he said hoarsely, his hands shaking from the rush of long-repressed emotions. “She died.”

“What was her name?”

“Sophie.” Lorenzo slammed his drink down and ran his fingers through his hair, doing his best to hold back the tears.

Lucky took hold of Lorenzo’s hands, squeezing them tightly before pulling the hard, muscular body into his arms. Lorenzo shattered at the contact, dropping his head onto Lucky’s shoulder and sobbing helplessly, seemingly endless tears for the people who had disappeared from his life. Lucky rubbed his back gently, whispering soothing sounds right next to his ear.

It had been quiet for a couple of minutes when Lorenzo finally pulled away, lifting his tear-stained face off of Lucky’s shoulder. The sheer magnitude of his beauty was breathtaking. Without conscious thought, Lucky walked Lorenzo backward until he was sitting on the sofa arm. Lorenzo looked up, his brown eyes wide and vulnerable. The realization that he was witnessing something few people ever got to see sent Lucky reeling out of control, and he lowered his head, taking Lorenzo’s mouth in a frantic, bruising kiss.

He could sense Lorenzo’s submission, and it made him wild with desire. His tongue thrust between warm, supple lips as he ripped the shirt from Lorenzo’s chest. Lucky didn’t stop to analyze how it felt to be turned on by a man; he just went with the flow. Lorenzo was moaning, but Lucky could hardly hear it because of the roaring sound in his ears. Their cocks were grinding together as Lucky tongue-fucked Lorenzo’s mouth until they both broke apart, gasping for air.

“Where’s the bedroom?” Lucky demanded.

Lorenzo stood up and grabbed Lucky’s hand, leading him toward the back of the apartment. When they reached the bedroom, he opened the top drawer of his nightstand and fumbled around for a few seconds, eventually emerging with a bottle of lube that he handed to Lucky. Stunned by the implication, Lucky groaned aloud when his dick jerked uncontrollably.

“What are you saying, Lorenzo?”

“I want you to fuck me, Lucky.”

“What part of ‘I’ve never done this before’ did you not understand?”

Shaking his head in amusement, Lorenzo asked, “Haven’t you ever had anal sex with a woman?”

“A couple of times,” Lucky said defensively.

“Well, the mechanics are basically the same.”

“Have you ever been on the receiving end?” With his eyes fixated on the floor, Lorenzo mumbled something unintelligible. “I’m sorry; I didn’t catch that.”

“Once,” Lorenzo admitted grudgingly. “A long time ago.”

“How long ago?”

“I was seventeen.”

“It’s been twenty years?” Lucky exclaimed.

Bristling at the insinuation that he was almost forty, Lorenzo was quick to correct Lucky’s mistake. “Eighteen.”

“Same difference.”

“Not from my perspective.”

“The point is,” Lucky growled, “it’s been a long fucking time. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. Please, Lucky.”

“But I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Just stretch me with your fingers a little before …”

“Before I shove my dick up your ass?”

Unable to think of anything else reassuring to say, Lorenzo unbuckled his pants and slid them to the floor. His boxers quickly followed suit, leaving him naked in front of Lucky, who was taken aback by the sight of Lorenzo’s impressive erection. “Now don’t you think it’s a better idea for you to fuck me?” Lorenzo grinned.

“Um, yeah,” Lucky nodded. “At least if I ever expect to walk again.”

He watched as Lorenzo piled the pillows on the side of the bed and lay down on top of them. “Don’t forget to use the lube.”

The thin liquid coated Lucky’s fingers, warming them on contact. Lorenzo lifted his knees to his chest and waited patiently. Figuring it couldn’t be that much different from using his fingers on a woman, Lucky circled the puckered opening, easing a fingertip inside with baited breath. Lorenzo tensed momentarily, unable to control his body’s natural instinct to fight the unfamiliar.

“Should I stop?” Lucky asked, his newly found confidence fading fast.

“No, just give me a minute.”

Lucky heard a prolonged sigh and the tightness around his finger gave a little, allowing him to slide the entire length into the hot furnace that was Lorenzo’s ass. With a gentle rocking motion, Lucky rotated his finger along the walls of the slender cavity, stretching it by degrees. A second finger joined the first, pushing firmly past the resistant ring of tissue. Long strokes, in and out, elicited grunts of approval from his partner. The expression on Lorenzo’s face was an exquisite combination of pleasure and pain, causing Lucky to lose the rhythm temporarily.

When he tried to recreate it, Lorenzo grabbed his wrist and held him still. “Do it now.”

“Shouldn’t I stretch you more?”

“Now, Lucky. There’s a condom in the top drawer of the bedside table.”

Extracting his fingers from Lorenzo’s ass, Lucky reached into the drawer with his free hand, quickly locating the item in question. After a hasty removal of his clothes, he ripped the condom open and rolled it onto his throbbing penis, remembering at the last second to slather it with lube. “I don’t know, Lorenzo.”

“Have you changed your mind?”

“Not exactly. I’m just worried about hurting you.”

“Were you this shy with your female partners?”

“No, but they were more …”

“Experienced?” Lorenzo chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that. Both times, the women were pretty much in control.”

Tugging on Lucky’s shoulders, Lorenzo pulled him down until they were chest to chest. “Are you saying you don’t want to be in control?”

Lorenzo’s breath was hot on his face, and Lucky shivered when soft lips brushed lightly across his, feeling something primal come to life deep inside of him. Forcing the underside of Lorenzo’s thighs even higher, Lucky placed his knees on the bed and lunged forward. The head of his dick breached the stretched hole just as Lucky thrust his tongue between Lorenzo’s parted lips. Lucky didn’t pause until he was balls deep in the deliciously tight space, and he almost came on the spot when Lorenzo let out a muffled cry.

Desperate to hear the sounds he provoked, Lucky broke off the kiss and pulled back a few inches, just far enough to see Lorenzo’s face clearly. “Scream for me,” Lucky whispered, withdrawing completely before he rammed the thick hard shaft as far into Lorenzo as he could go.

The high-pitched wail he received in response destroyed all his inhibitions, and Lucky fucked Lorenzo without restraint, completely captivated by the older man’s surrender. Feeling Lorenzo’s cock poking him in the abdomen, Lucky lowered his hips, making sure their bellies rubbed together with every stroke. It didn’t take long for Lorenzo to climax, and, once Lucky felt the hot liquid spurting across his chest, he pursued his own orgasm, pumping in and out so viciously that the bed creaked in protest.

Lucky ejaculated with such fervor that he almost blacked out. When he recovered the ability to think straight, he lifted his head and looked down at the man lying beneath him. Lorenzo’s beautiful brown eyes were filled with tears, and Lucky stared at him, mesmerized by the fat droplets of water sliding down his cheeks. The urge to lick them away became too great to ignore, and Lucky’s tongue traced a path across Lorenzo’s face, lapping up the salty moisture.

Within a few minutes, the silence between them proved to be awkward. Lorenzo cleared his throat nervously, not sure of what to say. “Do you have to go?”

“I suppose I should,” Lucky said without an ounce of enthusiasm.

Swallowing his pride, Lorenzo cupped Lucky’s face in his hands and administered a sweet, sensual kiss. “Don’t go. I want you to stay the night.”

The invitation made Lucky smile, and he bit down on Lorenzo’s left ear lobe before murmuring a husky “my pleasure.” Pulling out slowly, Lucky got to his feet, walking into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. When he returned to the bedroom, Lorenzo was turning down the sheets and patting one side of the bed invitingly.

“What makes you think that’s my side?” Lucky teased.

Lorenzo’s eyes burned a path down Lucky’s body. “After that performance, you can have whichever side you want.”

“If you keep looking at me like that, the only place I’m going to want to be is on top of you.”

“How about behind me?”

“Quit yanking my chain, Lorenzo. I know you must be sore.”

“You’re right, I am. Would you settle for holding me?”

“That’s an offer I can’t refuse.” Lucky settled in next to Lorenzo, wrapping his arms snugly around the mobster’s muscular body.

“We really need to talk about this, Lucky.”

“Tomorrow will be soon enough. Tonight I just want to lie here with you and enjoy the moment.”

“Works for me … boy.”