Cold Water

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Disclaimer: I am not the owner of M*A*S*H*(sadly), nor do I have anything to do with whoever does. I'm just playing with the characters for fun.
Pairing: imagined Hawkeye/Henry, actual Henry/Radar.


Henry huffed crossly as he stepped into the shower tent. This no nurses thing was *really* getting to him. How was a man supposed to function without sex?

Taking Radar’s word that the water was indeed icy cold, he stepped into the cubicle, turned on the shower and jumped about a foot in the air with a yell. After mentally assigning Radar to three weeks latrine digging duty Henry reached out and turned the shower to a more bearable degree of cold.

It said something about how bad it was around here that not even a shock like that could make him stop thinking about sex. *“You know, you’ve got awfully pretty legs Henry...”* That Hawkeye Pierce was nothing more than a goddamn tease. Flirt, flirt, flirt but never make with the goods.

Henry hissed with annoyance and ducked right under the freezing torrent, suppressing a yelp as the icy stream ran over some very sensitive areas of his anatomy. Through chattering teeth he looked around for the soap and tried not to think about ...taking the matter in hand. Hell, anybody could walk in.
A second later anybody, in this case meaning Radar, did.

“Hey, sir.” Radar said, disrobing shyly and slipping quickly into the stall beside Henry.
Gritting his teeth in frustration Henry forced his voice to sound pleasant. “Hey, Radar.”
Great. He was so horny it *ached* and here he was stuck in a shower tent with Radar O Reilly. A sweet kid -one of the best in fact- but boy, was he innocent.

And his mind kept returning to how Hawkeye’d been staring at him... Henry fumbled for the temp control, trying to turn it down a notch though he was shivering so bad already it was hard to grab a hold of it.

Radar shot a glance at his c.o. through the rush of warm water in his own stall and had to smother a treacherous smile.
“Sir?” he asked.
“What is it Radar?” Henry closed his eyes and tried to think un-erotic thoughts. Cockroaches, lampshades, ham sandwiches, Frank Burns...
“Your lips are turning blue.”

Henry opened his eyes and shot a warning glare at Radar. “You sure about that, Private O Reilly?” The little runt was probably finding this pretty funny.
“Uh, no sir. I must have imagined it.” Radar said quickly.
He glanced up at the colonel again, staring at him until Henry looked at him funny and Radar had to look away, busying himself with the soap.

So, he had kind of a really huge crush on his commanding officer. It just wasn’t fair, he’d liked Colonel Blake forever, and then all of a sudden Henry decided he liked Captain Pierce. Huh.
He wished Henry was thinking about *him* like that and not about Hawkeye, but Radar figured that that wasn’t going to happen unless he did something about it.

Radar knew that there was a whole lot of stuff that he wasn’t much good at, but there was *one* thing that he could do better than anyone else in camp. And that was manipulate Henry Blake.

The cold shower wasn’t helping. Henry admitted defeat. He had succeeded in catching a cold and probably getting cleaner than he’d ever been in his life, but as for his other problem -not a hope.
God, what wouldn’t he give for a warm, willing and able Hawkeye in here right now, dark hair wet and shining as he slipped down onto his knees and-
Ah hell, what was the in point torturing himself? He was just about to shut off the water and go in search of a very large drink when Radar’s voice stopped him.

“Sir, uh, could you pass me that towel please?” The kid pointed to a towel on the peg behind Henry’s stall. Radar’s heart was hammering in his ears as Henry sighed crossly and turned to reach it, giving him the perfect opportunity to slip silently into the stall. *Oh boy, if I’m wrong about this...*

Henry turned around to find himself face to face or at least, face to chest with a nervous but determined looking Radar.
“Radar, what are you-”

The kid slipped his arms around his waist and gave him a smile and a quick hug. Then he was down on his knees and pulling him gently forward by the hips. There was no time to object as Henry felt eager, slightly clumsy lips on him and then sweet wet warmth surrounding him, so intense after the freezing cold water that all he could do was gasp for air. *Radar was doing- what?! But Radar doesn’t- he isn’t- is he? Oh dear *lord*... *

Satisfied from that reaction that he wasn’t about to be court martialed, Radar let one hand wander down to gently stroke himself, at the same time paying an earnest attention to Henry’s cock that had his c.o. climbing the walls.

“Radar...”
The surge of heat that washed over him when the colonel said his name like that caught Radar unawares and letting out a small whimper he speeded up his strokes, feeling the warmth of Henry’s hands moving down onto his shoulders, tangling in his hair.

“Oh my good god, Radar...” moaned Henry, not quite able to believe what was happening, but more than happy to go along with it. Radar was driving him *wild*, even through the freezing water, and he just couldn’t seem to catch his breath.

Radar felt Henry shivering and stopped what he was doing for a moment to turn to reach for the temperature control, a loss of contact which elicited an agonised whimper from Henry. Radar smiled affectionately up at him, murmuring “Just a second, sir.”, squeezing the hand on his shoulder. Then he turned and doused them both in a stream of blessedly warm water.

Henry gasped at the sudden warmth, and had to grab onto the shower stall to strop his knees giving out as Radar took him gently back in his mouth. “Radar... oh that’s so *good*...”
His spine had turned to jelly and he hung on to the stall for dear life, every moan Radar let out pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

Sensing that Henry was close by the whimpered, half-formed words and moaned “Radar...”s he kept letting out, the corporal redoubled his efforts with long, slow movements that had Henry biting his hand to keep from screaming.
Radar lost it a split second before his c.o. did, choking out a muffled moan which sent Henry right over the edge in a rush of sensation so intense he could barely stand.

Henry slowly opened his eyes to the soft rushing of water and looked down at the kid. His eyes were closed and his head was resting against Henry’s stomach. Then he reached down, pulled Radar to his feet and after a few seconds hesitation put his arms around the little corporal and kissed him as long and as thoroughly as he dared.

As the kiss broke Henry kept his arms around Radar and fixed him with a wry smile.
“There something you wanted to tell me, Radar?”
“Uh, well I figured it might be better to show you than to tell you, sir.” Radar smiled shyly and looked up at the colonel. “...so you liked it, huh sir?”

“Liked it?” Henry looked at him, wet, naked and adorable and answered “Radar, I may need a couple of days to recover. It was that good.”
Radar was just about to answer when something made him stop and turn toward the shower tent door.
“Sir, Klingers about to come in here. Maybe we should uh-”
“Oh, right. Okay.” Henry let go reluctantly, and handing Radar the towel that had started this whole thing, pulled on his robe. Then he kissed him again.

Just as Henry coughed awkwardly and said “I was thinking of grabbing something in the mess tent-” Radar asked “You feel like lunch yet sir?”.
Henry grinned at him happily and nodded towards the door. “C’mon. Let’s go grab something to eat.”
Radar followed him with a small smile, pulling the door of the shower tent shut behind him.

****

“What’re you so happy about?” Trapper grunted as Henry sat down opposite him in the mess tent.
“Me? Oh, nothing. New fishing catalogue came in the mail.”
“And what’s your excuse for looking so disgustingly cheerful?” Hawkeye asked Radar as he sat down next to Henry, tray piled alarmingly high.
“S’ lunch,” he said, mouth already full, “what’s there not to be happy about?”
“The fact that your potatoes just moved. And I think the carrots are trying to escape.” Hawkeye looked around the mess tent at the nurses and briefly wished he was dead.
“I’m going to go take a shower.” he announced, and shot a glance at Radar as the kid choked and started to cough his lungs up.
“The cold water do any good, Henry?” Hawkeye asked.
The colonel froze in mid-slap to Radar’s back.
“Henry?”
“Yes! Uh, I mean, yeah, it helped. It helped a lot. I would definitely recommend it.”
Trapper looked at Hawkeye and shrugged. “Sounds like an idea. I’m in. Catch ya later guys.”
And with that they left, strolling across the compound together.
“No peeking in the shower,” Trapper said warningly “I don’t care how nurse-starved you are.”
“No peeking.” Hawkeye said innocently, “I promise.”
As Trapper found out a little later, he was lying.