Save The Last Dance

Full Summary:
It's been a total of three years since Justin has left Pittsburgh after a rough break-up with Brian. He comes back, reluctantly, for his mother, who still has problems with his homosexuality of course, fortieth birthday. With his boy-friend. What will be made out of this short trip to Pittsburgh? What will be the outcome?

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Title: Save The Last Dance

Rated: NC-17 for obsessive use of language, sexsexsex, violence, homosexuality, and because I said so.

Pairing: Brian Luvs Justin

Genre: Romance, slight angst, humor.

Type: It's obviously, and you should already know this, Queer As Folk. One of the best shows known to man. Yep, very, very nice.

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own QAF, Brian, Justin, or any of the other cast as much as I would love to.

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Turn around
stand up like a man and look me in the eye.
Turn around
take one final look at what you've left behind.
Then walk away
from the greatest lover you have ever known.
yes walk away
you're telling me that you can make it on your own
By yourself all alone without my help
mister you just made a big mistake.

You think you're a man
but you're only a boy
You think you're a man
you are only a toy.
you think you're a man
but you just couldn't see
You were not man enough to satisfy me.

boy boy
boy boy
toy


Shut the door
take a look around and tell me what you find.
Shut the door
take a giant step for you and all mankind.
Then don't come back
I always gave you so much more than you deserve
No don't come back
'cause no one makes a fool of me
You've got a nerve to walk away
mark the words I'm gonna say
Mister you just made a big mistake:

You think you're a man
but you're only a boy
You think you're a man
you are only a toy.
you think you're a man
but you just couldn't see
You were not man enough to satisfy me.
You Think Your're a Man- Full Frontal


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"I love you."

How Justin wished it could've been someone else saying those words. Someone with wavy brown hair, deep, steely green eyes that were always emotionless; except for the very few times he had accidentally tripped up and had let his true emotions be seen. How he wished that it were the man that had fucked his virginity out of him with immense pleasure, fast and rough. The man that had come to his prom even though he had said he wouldn't be caught dead in a room full of eighteen year olds and had danced with him, even if he didn't remember that at all due to his head injury. The man that had brushed him off many times as though Justin was nothing and had never said those three little words. How Justin wished it was Brian Kinney saying those three simple words. Just once was all that he had wanted.

Of course it was obviously too late for that. Justin had left Pittsburghthree years ago. After a huge crash and burn in their relationship, Justin had finally walked away, well, more like ran away, and hadn't talked to anyone in Pittsburgh since then. That wasn't including his best friend Daphne or his mother. He would talk to them occasionally over the phone when he wasn't busy thinking about a past that he didn't want to think about, gallivanting off everywhere with the boy-friend that he suspected had just been there for the last few months as Justin's rebound, and when he wasn't drawing light sketches of "whatever" in his sketchpad. Or, of course, butt fucking. However, he didn't really do that with Shane. Justin didn't want to. The few times that they did, Brian had been lodged into his mind and it had actually been painful, fucking Shane.

Justin hadn't changed at all since he had moved to Rhode Island two years ago. The only thing that had changed was the fact that instead of the eighteen year old he had been, he was now twenty. Big two 3, though Justin didn't really see what was so good about being twenty-three. It was the same as being eighteen or nineteen. Still two digit numbers. His hair was still a blonde, shaggy mess, though not really too messy since his hair always seemed to be nice to him, and his eyes were still the same piercing blue. Why would any of that change? There wasn't a chance in hell that Justin would even think about dying his hair or getting color contacts. He liked his looks and intended to keep them. Plus, it was his looks that had attracted Brian to him in the first place. Justin mentally slapped himself and drew himself back to the present where Shane sat next to him on the living room couch, fingers entwined, his head resting on Justin's shoulder.

Just like every time, Justin didn't say 'I love you' back. He couldn't for it wasn't true.

"I know you do. Who wouldn't?"

Brian wouldn't. There was really no need to bring him into everything though! But it always happened. No matter what Justin did, even if he hadn't seen the brunette in two years, Brian always popped up at unwanted moments. In his dreams, in his daydreams, whenever he fucked Shane, whenever he went clubbing with Shane, whenever Shane said 'I love you' to him, Hell. Whenever Shane talked to him. Where ever Justin walked Brian was always there. In his head. Never leaving. It was like Brian was a parasite, albeit a hot parasite, that never wanted to leave him alone. Justin cursed the mental image he was receiving of Brian. His thoughts began to wander with the usual questions about Brian that they always did.

How is Brian?
Where is Brian right now?
Is Brian with anyone?
How's Gus?
What does Brian look like?

Most importantly:

Does Brian think about me as much as I think about him?

Just highly doubted it and whenever he doubted it he felt his heart sink down into the bottomless pits of his stomach and he could never seem to be able to pick it back up again and place it in it's normal spot. Where the heart was supposed to be. It never wanted to cooperate and Justin would wallow around for the rest of the day, depression always hung over him like a huge, black storm cloud that was about to burst. If the cloud bursted he was sure that would cause him to burst. Into hot fresh tears that had been held up inside of him for way too long. Way, way too long. He had only cried once since he had left Pittsburgh. That had been when they broke up. Since then, he had held them all in. For his sake and now, for Shane's sake.

He really didn't want to break Shane's heart. He was a very...nice guy.

He was, he really was, he just wasn't...Brian. Shane McFay. Same height as Brian but totally different in every other aspect. Instead of the 'I fuck someone else every night' like Brian, he was a virgin when Justin had found him. Just like Justin had been when Brian had found him. Shane was, of course Justin wouldn't settle for anything less, quite a looker. From his toned skin, though not very tan but not too pale either, to his long, dark lashes and short, spiked black hair. His face wasn't too matured out like Brian's had been but it still had a teeny bit of baby fat to give him the cuteness that Justin had found...well...cute. His body wasn't too bad either, of course, it wasn't anywhere near as good as Brian's had been but this wasn't Brian. Brian didn't matter.

"A someone who would be on crack. But that's ok, I want to be the only one to love you."

Shane and Brian were also totally different in attitude. Whereas Brian had had the 'Fuck you' attitude, Shane had the sweet, friendly disposition that everyone's parents loved. He was the boy next door. Justin cursed himself again when he told himself he liked the 'Fuck you' attitude better then the sweet attitude. Nonetheless, Justin let the corners of his mouth curve up into a smile and he rested his head a top Shane's and wrapped his free arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer against him.

"I can assure you that, aside from all the hot boys I sleep with when you’re not around, no one else loves me."

Shane snorted. But before he could answer the phone rang it's shrill, loud, and fucking annoying ring that had woken Justin up so many times in the middle of the night. It had always been someone for Shane though, however, Justin never really knew who it was that was calling. He had never really bothered to ask since it had always been so late into the night and Justin would be so out of it. He was never a quick one to wake up. Sighing, Justin reluctantly pulled away from Shane and padded, barefoot and shirtless, out of the carpeted living room and into the kitchen with wooded floors and marble counters.

His art was paying off as you could tell.

"Hello?"

Pause. Justin heard muddled whispers for a moment.

"Hello Justin! It's mom!"

Justin smiled. Of course it was.

"I know who it is, mom, you don't have to tell me. I can tell by the sound of your voice."

Plus, he had paused to look over at the caller ID when the pause at the other line had aroused his curiosity.

"Oh, be quiet hunny and let me speak,"

Justin smiled and rested his hip against the counter and began playing with his hair. It was something he always did when just standing around looking at an art piece or just thinking. Shane had countlessly asked him to get it cut but Justin liked it this length. He had liked it better then when he had gotten it cut short but...from what he remembered, Brian hadn't minded it being short. Justin frowned and pushed Brian out of his mind.

"As you know...in three days...it's my birthday."

Justin resumed smiling. Of course. His mothers big four O. He couldn't believe he had forgotten about it. A wave of guilt washed over him. It was ok though. His mother didn't need to know that he had forgotten about her fortieth birthday. It wasn't a big deal. He could get her a present in three days time and mail it to her. Justin never went down to Pittsburgh. Even on his mother’s birthday. He wasn't interested in going down there and bring up things that didn't need to be brought up. Of course, it probably wouldn't matter since he seemed to think about things that he didn't need to think about anymore. Like Brian. That was the major reason he never went down and always hurt his mom's feelings. He didn't want to accidentally meet up with Brian. He hadn't talked to him in two years.

A meeting would be awkward.

"Of course I know that, mom !"

He could almost feel his mom smile at the other end of the phone.

"I know you don't ever come down here sweetie ...but...I was hoping that since I'm getting up there in age...that you would come to Pittsburgh and celebrate with us. I know you don't want to but...it would be really important to me."

He could hear the hope coursing through the phone line. He could feel the way his mom's heart was all the way up in her throat, beating eccentrically, hoping that he would finally say 'yes ' and come to Pittsburgh. Justin bit at his bottom lip and thought about his choices. He could A, hurt his mom's feelings again and cause her to not speak to him for months, or B, he could go celebrate her birthday and risk meeting up with old friends. Well, it wasn't Emmett, Ted, or even Michael that he was worried about. It was just Brian. Just him. Just that one single being. Justin did the unthinkable. He would risk it. He loved his mom and he couldn't do this to her again.

"Alright, mom, alright. I'll come down tomorrow."

He heard the gasp of stunned delight on the other end.

"Oh, thank you hunny! It means so much to me!"

Justin smiled. Of course it did. Even if she did still hate his sexual preference.

"Is it alright if I bring Shane with me?"

He had told her about Shane many times on the phone. He was sure it wouldn't be a big deal to her if he did but he would ask anyway. After her saying 'Yes, of course it's ok if you bring Shane' and a few more exchanged words he hung up. His mom had never fully accepted the fact that he was gay and he didn't expect that to change. At least she was being nice about the whole thing. A moment later, while Justin had been leaning against the counter thinking, Shane walked in with his arms stretching above his head and a yawn coming into affect across his features. Justin smiled automatically at him as he walked into the doorway.

"Get packing, sexy."

Shane raised en eyebrow in confusion.

"What? Why? For where? And, I already knew I was sexy. You didn't have to tell me. I get it all the time."

Justin rolled his eyes, smile still tugging at his lips, and pushed himself away from the counter and slid his arms around his lover's waist and reached up to press his lips against Shane's throat. Shane's hands had automatically reached up to dig his fingers into Justin's hair as they always did. It was the first place, most of the time, they ever went. Justin had a sneaking suspicion that Shane liked his hair despite all the times that he asked Justin to get it cut off.

"We're going to Pittsburgh for my mom's birthday. It's important to her that I come. It's important to me that you come too. Now let's get packing."

Shane smirked. It was something he did often.

"How bout we do a different type of packing...the type where I throw you on the bed and,"

Justin cut him off with a playful slap on the arm. In all honesty, he hadn't let any man be inside him since the break up with Brian. He was always the one on top, not on the bottom. That's probably how it would always be. Justin, as much as he hated it, couldn't think of any other man pushing inside of him other then Brian. It just didn't seem...right. Thankfully, Shane never questioned why he was always on the bottom of things. Justin didn't see why Shane needed to know anything about Brian or anything else that had happened in the past.

"I don't think so. Now go."

Sighing in exaggerated disappointment, Shane spun around began to pad away while Justin slapped him across the ass, following him towards their large bedroom.


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Flashback:

"Your fucking him aren't you?"

Justin had just entered Brian's extravagant apartment and was sliding the door shut and locking it as he had been told to do so many times when Brian had spoken. More like spat at him. His face was contorted into a look of pure anger and just also saw jealously lingering in those green pools of his. Justin raised an eyebrow as he slowly turned around to face Brian completely. It felt like a slap in the face to be accused of such a sin. With his eyebrow still raised, a small smirk slid up across his features. It probably wasn’t wise to smirk at an angry Brian Kinney but it was like a second nature to him to do so. It played across his lips brilliantly.

"Who? Emmett?"

Bingo! This seemed to be the right answer.

"You are."

Justin’s smirk quickly disappeared and a small frown replaced it. What? Why this sudden accusation? Even if he had been fucking Emmett, why would Brian give a shit? Justin had found in the time he had known him that Brian seemed to give a shit about a lot of things Justin did but didn’t show it. Well, he tried not to anyway.

"I’m not. Is this how it’s going to be? I go clubbing with a friend and you automatically think I’m fucking him? This is Emmett for god’s sake."

Justin crossed his arms over his chest. The frown was still upon his features. Brian, who was still looking royally pissed off, crossed his own arms over his chest. His skin was drawn tight over his face, his teeth were clenched, and he looked…jealous? The thought would've made Justin smile if they hadn’t been in this situation.

"Clubbing for the past three nights."

Justin took a step forward while rolling his eyes. This was just plain ridiculous.

"I’m not fucking anyone, Brian. Get off my fucking case, I’d like to take a shower sometime tonight."

Justin made a move to step around Brian but Brian just moved so Justin couldn’t get past. With an annoyed sigh, Justin glared up at his lover who was accusing him of something more stupid then he would have ever thought possible. Him fucking Emmett? Yeah right. Like that would ever happen and like he even wanted to fuck Emmett!

"Do you want to take a shower because you’ve been, perhaps, fucking Emmett?"

Justin’s glare turned almost icy. Blue irises darkening; fist clenching, whole body tensing, and eyes narrowing. Why Brian had to be an asshole most of his life was beyond him. Brian almost looked unfazed by Justin’s state of being. If Justin had been a violent person, he was sure he would’ve punched Brian just then. But he wasn’t violent.

"No, Brian. Fuck off."

"Fuck you, Taylor. Get out of my house."

Justin’s hands clenched and unclenched a few times before answering. He hated being emotional. He hated loving a complete bastard. He hated love period. He wished he could have Brian’s policy:

‘I don’t believe in love. I believe in fucking.’

"Fine."

"And stay out."

Tears priced at the corners of his eyes. This always happened when he got emotional. Tears. Dame them! Tears and love were obviously a hindrance.

"Fuck you, Kinney."

After that little fiasco, Justin had left to live with his best-friend, Daphne. It worked well since they went to the same school and could do their homework together. Plus, his mother didn’t really want anything to do with him at the time. Justin hadn’t spoken to Brian for a week until he saw him at a club with some random guy. Justin had left in tears once again after getting a ‘Fuck you, Taylor’ and hadn’t been back to Pittsburgh since.


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The Next Day: Pittsburgh

By the time they had arrived in Pittsburgh it was already pushing on nine. Shane was whining about being tired when the cab had dropped them off in front of his mom's house. Justin, on the other hand, wasn't anywhere near tired. He was as nervous as he had ever been before and his nerves were stretched tight inside of his body. What if Brian was here? Why the hell would Brian be at his house? This calmed him a bit and he slid out of the cab along with Shane and the cab driver helped them get their bags out of the trunk. Afterwards, Justin handed him the money and the man sped off into the darkness. Justin then grabbed his bags and, with Shane following, headed up to the front door and knocked.

The door swung open in seconds to reveal his mom.

"Hello sweetie! I've missed you so much! You have so much you need to tell me!"

She paused and her eyes flew to Shane. Justin was sure he had seen a flicker of disgust in her eyes but it quickly disappeared and she smiled a wide, polite smile.

"You must be Shane. Justin has told me so much about you."

With that, she ushered the two of them inside, and led them up to the room that they would be sharing and then back into the living room they went to talk and catch up on things. By the time they were done talking it was ten thirty and a knock sounded on the door. Justin's heart leapt up into his throat and his eyes flew back from the door and over at his mom who just smiled and told him to go get the door and not just stand there. Shane came with him but didn't notice Justin's nervous look. Though if he did, he didn't say anything. Biting his bottom lip, Justin quickly unlocked the door and swung it open.

"Emmett!"

Justin was quickly embraced in a hug by his friend that he hadn't contacted since he had left. Emmett was still...Emmett and tonight he was wearing extremely tight red leather pants and an extremely tight red shirt that showed an expanse of his stomach. Yup, the same old Emmett, just two years older. Emmett quickly stepped back and let his eyes travel up Justin and a smile broke out onto his features. Teeth and all.

"I can see that you haven't changed a bit, sweetie! And, introduce me to your friend!"

Justin saw a flicker of approval in Emmett's eyes as he glanced over at Shane who had an amused smile written across his face. Justin smiled and grabbed Shane's wrist and pulled him forward slightly. He had been hovering slightly behind his shoulder.

"This, Emmett, is Shane, and Shane, this is Emmett."

Shane reached out to shake Emmett's hand but Emmett decided a hug would be better for the occasion. Justin just smiled. He wasn't one who ever got jealous of Shane and other guys. Shane had never done anything to make him jealous and he knew Emmett would probably not go on the prowl for Shane. But, as Justin thought about it, he was sure he wouldn't have really cared if Emmett had. Justin almost sighed out loud at the thought. He had some problems. Some major problems. Well, one major problem.

Brian Kinney was it.

"Very nice to meet you, but Justin, now that you’re back...you have to come down to The Babylon! We want to make you King again! Let's see if you still have what it takes."

Justin, this time, sighed.

"Who's gonna be there?"

Emmett seemed to know what he was getting at.

"Uh, hunny, I don't really...know ."

Shane jumped up at the opportunity and grabbed Justin's hand.

"Let's go, please, Justin. You told me about you winning that King of...Babylon thing and I want to go. I'm not tired anymore anyway. Emmett seems to have that...overly hyper affect on me."

Emmett practically beamed at this. No, he did beam.

Justin sighed. He really didn't have a choice did he?

"Alright. Mom! I'll be back later."

Then they left.


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Please tell me what you think. I've never even seen this show before, I've only seen clips and have read about it so I hope I'm going ok and doing a good job of keeping people in character. Please be nice, although I don't mind flames.