Dingo Hunt
folder
zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] › Celeb › Canadian Idol
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
728
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] › Celeb › Canadian Idol
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
728
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Canadian Idol, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Dingo Hunt
Disclaimer: The Canadian Idol series and its competitors are the property of 19e and CTV. This is a work of fanfiction. No money is being made from this story and no infringement is intended.
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--- X --- Anoint Thy Head In Oil --- X ---
--- by paperbacksniper ---
------
It's amazing how many truly hapless people exist in the world. The fact that these people are ignorant of the fact that they are hapless is irrelevant. They are hapless.
Two of the most hapless people were very much in love. They had defied all forces of physics, humanity, and sexuality to be together. They had even defied their wife and girlfriend.
You see, the two most hapless people were none other than Jacob Hoggard and Shane Wiebe. Shane being the more hapless of the two, as he was married at the time their doomed relationship commenced. It is completely irrelevant to the story that soon after his wife found out that he was cheating on her with Jacob, she quickly divorced him. To top it all off, in an act of petty revenge, she stole Jacob's girlfriend from Jacob.
The two girls couldn't be more unhappy together.
The two guys couldn't be more happy together.
It was Valentine's Day, and both had the day to themselves from work, and singing, and needing to be somewhere. The two decided to take a vacation.
It was Jacob's idea to go to Australia for excitement and sex and alcohol and parties.
It was Shane's idea to wander around the boring, dry desert on a hotel tour of the area.
"The dingos are quite cute." said Shane, as he leaned against one of the mesh kangaroo fences. He watched through the metal cage as a full grown dingo tore apart a joey.
Jacob sniffed and was more preoccupied with poking a baby sheep. It gave a protesting 'bah' and sulked off. He had wanted to stay in the hotel and catch some much needed sleep; however, Shane wanted to come on the hotel tour to see the Australian outback. Jacob surmised that it wasn't so much the Australian outback as a farm on the edge of the Australian outback.
Either way, neither place appeased his need for excitement.
He turned from watching the sheep prance off and looked at Shane looking at the wild red dog tear apart the cute baby animal.
"Shane, that's sick." he said, feeling a bit squicked out. As weird as people said Jacob was, he wasn't that weird.
"It's the food chain, Jacob. It's the kind of thing you see on National Geographic, except that it's on the other side of this fence. This is an opportunity of a life time!"
Jacob couldn't see the point in arguing any further, and leaned his back against the fence and closed his eyes. It was so hot in the sunshine that was beating down on them, and he was getting tired. He deduced it was either the jetlag or the countless quarts of tequila he had downed the night before. Either way, he drifted off to sleep, the sound of Shane cooing at the dingo being the last thing he heard as his mind went into unconsciousness.
Jacob watched Shane prance into the room in a red teddy. He felt himself smile, and he didn't bother to question why Shane was wearing a red teddy. He was wearing one, and that was the only thing that was relevant.
He circled Shane as he would circle prey, if he knew how to circle prey. He took in his long girly legs, the swell of his manly hips, his pierced belly button, and his pert man-nipples poking through the scarlet lace. He felt his mouth water, and then felt an even greater need to let loose water of a different kind.
He began to run. In running, he began to run even faster. He looked down. His legs were those of a dingo. No wait; one front appendage was reddish tan with a paw at the end. The other was a dirty white, and very fluffy. It ended with a hoof. He kept running to the oasis in the middle of the desert. He passed a red teddy clad Shane, who was ignoring him while flipping through pages of a newspaper written in Swahili. He kept running. Jacob didn't know why he was running towards the oasis, just that he had to.
In the oasis he found a small hut. Jacob yanked open the door with his kangaroo paw, and padded his way into the wooden erection. He waved nonchalantly to Shane, the dingo, the sheep, and the half-mauled joey sitting at the table playing poker with coconut shells and palm fronds. He bolted into the other room and sat on the counter in the bathroom, debating whether or not he should run the water. He thought he should very much like to, but he wasn't sure if he should.
He did.
He got wet.
Jacob shook his head and welcomed the cool rivets of water dripping down from his hair. Opening his eyes, he stared at a blurry Shane, who was very slowly coming into focus.
A very un-blurry Shane who was wearing a red teddy.
Jacob sat up in his bed, and blinked a few times.
"What happened to the dingo?" he asked drowsily, squinting at the cold winter sun bouncing off the bright white snow in the cold Canadian winter.
Shane sat at the edge of the bed and offered up his hairy leg to Jacob. Jacob kissed his knees, and stared up into Shane's concerned eyes.
"What?"
"I think that tequila and National Geographic are two things that maybe shouldn't be combined ever again." Shane grinned and pulled Jacob up into a sloppy Shane-kiss.
Jacob grinned back, happy that neither of them had gotten shot on Valentine's Day.
~fin~
--- X --- Anoint Thy Head In Oil --- X ---
--- by paperbacksniper ---
------
It's amazing how many truly hapless people exist in the world. The fact that these people are ignorant of the fact that they are hapless is irrelevant. They are hapless.
Two of the most hapless people were very much in love. They had defied all forces of physics, humanity, and sexuality to be together. They had even defied their wife and girlfriend.
You see, the two most hapless people were none other than Jacob Hoggard and Shane Wiebe. Shane being the more hapless of the two, as he was married at the time their doomed relationship commenced. It is completely irrelevant to the story that soon after his wife found out that he was cheating on her with Jacob, she quickly divorced him. To top it all off, in an act of petty revenge, she stole Jacob's girlfriend from Jacob.
The two girls couldn't be more unhappy together.
The two guys couldn't be more happy together.
It was Valentine's Day, and both had the day to themselves from work, and singing, and needing to be somewhere. The two decided to take a vacation.
It was Jacob's idea to go to Australia for excitement and sex and alcohol and parties.
It was Shane's idea to wander around the boring, dry desert on a hotel tour of the area.
"The dingos are quite cute." said Shane, as he leaned against one of the mesh kangaroo fences. He watched through the metal cage as a full grown dingo tore apart a joey.
Jacob sniffed and was more preoccupied with poking a baby sheep. It gave a protesting 'bah' and sulked off. He had wanted to stay in the hotel and catch some much needed sleep; however, Shane wanted to come on the hotel tour to see the Australian outback. Jacob surmised that it wasn't so much the Australian outback as a farm on the edge of the Australian outback.
Either way, neither place appeased his need for excitement.
He turned from watching the sheep prance off and looked at Shane looking at the wild red dog tear apart the cute baby animal.
"Shane, that's sick." he said, feeling a bit squicked out. As weird as people said Jacob was, he wasn't that weird.
"It's the food chain, Jacob. It's the kind of thing you see on National Geographic, except that it's on the other side of this fence. This is an opportunity of a life time!"
Jacob couldn't see the point in arguing any further, and leaned his back against the fence and closed his eyes. It was so hot in the sunshine that was beating down on them, and he was getting tired. He deduced it was either the jetlag or the countless quarts of tequila he had downed the night before. Either way, he drifted off to sleep, the sound of Shane cooing at the dingo being the last thing he heard as his mind went into unconsciousness.
Jacob watched Shane prance into the room in a red teddy. He felt himself smile, and he didn't bother to question why Shane was wearing a red teddy. He was wearing one, and that was the only thing that was relevant.
He circled Shane as he would circle prey, if he knew how to circle prey. He took in his long girly legs, the swell of his manly hips, his pierced belly button, and his pert man-nipples poking through the scarlet lace. He felt his mouth water, and then felt an even greater need to let loose water of a different kind.
He began to run. In running, he began to run even faster. He looked down. His legs were those of a dingo. No wait; one front appendage was reddish tan with a paw at the end. The other was a dirty white, and very fluffy. It ended with a hoof. He kept running to the oasis in the middle of the desert. He passed a red teddy clad Shane, who was ignoring him while flipping through pages of a newspaper written in Swahili. He kept running. Jacob didn't know why he was running towards the oasis, just that he had to.
In the oasis he found a small hut. Jacob yanked open the door with his kangaroo paw, and padded his way into the wooden erection. He waved nonchalantly to Shane, the dingo, the sheep, and the half-mauled joey sitting at the table playing poker with coconut shells and palm fronds. He bolted into the other room and sat on the counter in the bathroom, debating whether or not he should run the water. He thought he should very much like to, but he wasn't sure if he should.
He did.
He got wet.
Jacob shook his head and welcomed the cool rivets of water dripping down from his hair. Opening his eyes, he stared at a blurry Shane, who was very slowly coming into focus.
A very un-blurry Shane who was wearing a red teddy.
Jacob sat up in his bed, and blinked a few times.
"What happened to the dingo?" he asked drowsily, squinting at the cold winter sun bouncing off the bright white snow in the cold Canadian winter.
Shane sat at the edge of the bed and offered up his hairy leg to Jacob. Jacob kissed his knees, and stared up into Shane's concerned eyes.
"What?"
"I think that tequila and National Geographic are two things that maybe shouldn't be combined ever again." Shane grinned and pulled Jacob up into a sloppy Shane-kiss.
Jacob grinned back, happy that neither of them had gotten shot on Valentine's Day.