The pharaoh's doctrine

Title: The pharaoh’s doctrine
Author: Kitten
Rating: G
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Warning: angsty little snippet, Lex’s POV
Spoilers: I wrote it directly after the episode in which Clark tells Lex that their friendship is over
don't know the name sorry
Without knowing this episode the snippet makes little sense
Disclaimer: Clark and Lex are not mine, would they be, our superhero would spent his
days taking care of the loveliest billionaire alive *sigh* as it is, they belong to somebody
else and I’m just borrowing them for fun, I don’t even get money for it
Notes: I translated this piece of the pharaoh’s doctrine from the German version I had, so it’s not
officially right, just my attempt on bringing it into the English and still making it sound good.
I’ve had it for years, but as I got to know Lex it came into my mind again.
It suits him doesn’t it?


“Beware of them who have nothing
and are nothing,
don’t trust your brother
don’t know friends,
don’t confide in anybody,
it’s useless.
When you fall asleep,
guard your heart yourself,
because nobody has followers
in times of hardship.
I gave to the beggar,
I raised the orphan,
I cared for the poor
and the rich;
but he who ate my bread
rose against me,
he, whom I have given my trust
used it
to conspire against me”

Pharaoh Amenemhet “The doctrine of Amenemhet”

This is how I used to live my life.
I tried like this old king of Egypt to give my best.
to do the good, the right thing with my power; but I was disappointed.
When I needed him most, my trusted one left me.
In the face of my hardest period of life he broke our bond.
I made the mistake to disregard pharaoh Amenemhet’s advice and seek out friendship;
and for a while it was glorious. A feeling I’ve never known, trust and being trusted in return,
genuine caring, not being used, just taken for what I was, it was all so new to me.
I should have known that fate wouldn’t want for me to have a prize like that.
It began with little things, a small obfuscation, distrust where usually our friendship stood on solid ground.
His love for one of the many people who hated me, started to really wear on our relationship.
I should have stepped back then, I saw all the signs, the flicker in his eyes, the hint of doubt
when I said something, the averting of his gaze when he prepared to tell another lie;
and then the direct look into my eyes when he told it.
It hurt, my guards were down around him, nothing to protect myself, I have gotten careless
and paid for it. With pain. As always in my life I had to pay for feeling, for trusting.
Still I couldn’t stop, I gave whatever it was he demanded, I stopped questioning, I stopped
searching for his truths and continued like always to search for my own, there had to be
at least some honesty in my life.
I had gotten to care for him and in my foolishness I continued to do so.
Ignoring blatantly the omen as to where this friendship was leading, and then it happened.
When I had nothing left but him, his belief in me as a human being, his little bit of trust, his caring
he took it all away from me. He found my search for truth, too long had we been on the path of distrust
that he had led us on, too long for him to even give me the benefit of the doubt.
He was judge and executioner, he found me guilty and punished me by taking away the last things
that kept my heart going. His care was what had awakened it and me from death
Giving me a new chance on living, with emotions this time, which is what made me susceptible
for more pain than I had ever experienced before.
And with this final blow he shattered my heart again.
He took what he had given and turned it into the cruellest weapon ever being used against me.
After all he gave me feelings, he had every right to turn them on me.
I haven’t believed him to be capable of such a thing, how naïve I was.
He and the one’s who ‘d judged me from the beginning on, are now where they all belong
Opposite me.
I don’t even need to guard my heart anymore, pharaoh, there’s nothing left to guard,
believe me,
he took it all with him
as he left me.

The end