Zip Locked!

Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica belongs to Glen Larson, Ron Moore and others. This is for fun and not profit, so don't sue me or the owners of this site.

Note: This isn't really "R", but it's posted so readers will understand the sequel "You Know What They Say…"


"Caught" Challenge
Rules:
1) Someone, preferably Adama, must catch Laura/Lee in the act. Whether they were just kissing or more is up to you.
2) Must include the phrase, "I didn't know you were double jointed!"
3) Whipped cream.
4) Someone saying, "I've never seen that before."


~*~*~*~

Several pairs of eyes looked around the room at each other in suspicion. A drop of sweat trickled down Baltar's temple. Boomer shot him a seething, knowing glance, and the doctor knew his charade was over.

"I fold," he said putting his cards on the table.

On the other side, Starbuck congratulated herself for winning yet another game by lighting up a victory cigar.

"I've never seen that before," Lieutenant Gaeta said sarcastically about the way the game went. Starbuck almost always won. It was virtually not worth playing the game with her any more.

The sound of a throat clearing noisily was heard, and the players at the table gave a passing glance to Billy who stood at the door.

"Lieutenant Thrace, may I speak with you? It's about that, um… private matter," he said, sounding nervous.

Sharon rolled her eyes at the President's aide. He'd never succeed at playing cards with the rest of them with a face like that.

Starbuck got up from the table and walked out to meet the young man. "Billy, do you smoke?"

"No, Lieutenant," he said while watching everyone else in the room.

"More for me," she said with a wink.

Once outside the door, she was quickly silenced by President Roslin. "Lieutenant, I need something of a… shall we say, sensitive manner, and I am told you are the one who could get it for me."

Kara had to admit her curiosity was piqued, but one question came to her mind first. "Isn't that what your Presidential Advisor is for?"

Roslin looked away before turning her attention back to the viper pilot. "I would rather not concern Captain Apollo with this. He wouldn't understand," she continued with a lowered voice, "because it's a woman thing. I have a… craving."

"A craving, ma'am?" Starbuck asked just to be clear.

"Billy, will you excuse us," the President said so she could speak plainly with Kara.

Once he backed away, Laura continued in confidence, "A monthly craving. Surely you know what those are?"

Starbuck puffed on her cigar. "I believe I might. What would you like?"

"Whipped cream," Laura said decisively.

The pilot whistled. "That's a luxury. Where do you expect I'd find something like that?"

"I don't have to figure it out, Lieutenant. That's why I came to you. I have heard a rumor that Colonel Tigh might have some thanks to his lovely wife Ellen," Laura said with a look that showed she didn't think Ellen was lovely at all.

Thrace chuckled before puffing again on her cigar. "I'm on it. This will be easy. Come on, Billy. You can stand guard," she said, taking the young man by the arm.

Laura waited in the shadows where she'd been talking to Thrace for what seemed like an eternity. It was actually only a few minutes for the pilot and the presidential aide to come back with the whipped cream in question.

"Oh, thank you," Laura said with an anticipatory moan of pleasure.

Kara grabbed Billy by the tie. "Let's leave the President to her craving. Someone you crave is inside," she said, indicating Dee.

~*~

The President of the Twelve Colonies walked by herself savoring the sweet taste of the whipped cream in her mouth, and eventually her feet led her to the flight deck where the vipers were parked. No one else seemed to be around at all in the huge room. Laura then got an idea to do something spontaneous and fun that she hadn't done in years.

Quickly, she removed her suit jacked and then she tested the give on her skirt. Because it was only one of three outfits she had, she thought better of removing it. She double checked that she was still alone and then shed that item of clothing.

Standing nearly naked on the flight deck, she stretched her whole body to make sure she was still limber. Then with a cry of determination, she started into sprint and did several cartwheels across the floor. Pleased with the result, Laura attempted some different tumbling moves. She still had it!

"I didn't know you were double jointed!" a voice from above her said.

Laura gasped and looked up to see Lee Adama in his flight suit sitting inside one of the vipers.

"I'm not," she said with a blush. Even though she was embarrassed at having been caught, the educator in her couldn't help to add, "That's a misnomer anyway."

Lee nodded at her and put his fist down angrily. He sighed in frustration and descended the ladder out of the cockpit.

"Captain," Roslin started, not used to seeing him like this, "what's the problem?"

"I don't know!" he said when he was on the ground. "I went out for a flight, but it wasn't handling right. I've been trying to figure out the problem."

"Isn't that Tyrol's responsibility?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am," he said as he turned his full attention to her. He realized that she was wearing just her underwear and blouse. It was almost as shocking as seeing her in that thin blue robe when she'd first confided in him about her cancer.

She blushed and tried to cover herself, but she realized that her clothing was on the completely opposite side of the flight deck.

"I had better go," Lee said to try to get away from her and leave her to her privacy.

His temperature was up, and while Laura most certainly was part of the reason, he remembered that he was still wearing his flight suit. Apollo tried to undo the zipper only to find it stuck.

"Frack!" he said while trying to jiggle it open. "First my viper and now my suit. Things can't get any worse!"

Laura looked at him, watching one of the few moments he'd been anything less than calm and cool around her. "Do you want any help?" she offered honestly.

"No!" he said backing away from her, still aware that the woman was practically naked. "No, thank you!"

Lee continued to fight with his zipper, but it wasn't letting him win. As he struggled, he was twirling blindly. He'd finally tugged it down a few inches at the same time he backed up near the viper. The jostling motion made some blackish fluid that could have been engine oil leak out over Apollo's head and neck, slithering its way down into his flight suit.

His facial expression changed from surprise to terror. "It burns!"

Acting quickly, Laura pulled him away from the viper and started tugging at his zipper to help him get his flight suit off. The suit was meant to withstand the strain of space flight, so it was particularly resistant to their efforts. The zipper, unfortunately, still did not want to give. She tried to yank it down, only to rip her fingernail.

"Frack!" she yelled in echo of Lee's previous sentiment.

By that time there were tears in his eyes. Laura tried to work harder to get the suit off of him.

"Please," Lee started to beg. "Get this off!"

"I'm doing the best I can, Captain," Laura said as she wrenched at his zip seam.

Apollo grabbed the zipper whimpering again how the liquid was burning his skin. Meanwhile Laura pulled on the sides of it. Working together they got the flight suit open down to Lee's belly button.

He was breathing deep. "Please, I have to get these clothes off of me!"

Not even thinking in the moment to be shy, Roslin reached her hands into his suit to try to yank it down below his hips. The effort to do pull it away pitched both of them off balance so that Lee fell flat on his back with Laura landing on top of him, her face at his hips.

Because he was still whimpering, Laura moved up his body and made him sit up. Quickly, she helped him out of his inner shirts and used the fabric that was unstained to wipe the rest of the oil off his shoulders. Lee gave a deep breath of gratitude and held her in relief.

"Thank you," he said wearily, hugging her and planting a kiss on her cheek.

"You're welcome," she said with a nervous laugh because it was over, and she hugged him back.

That's how Colonel Tigh, Commander Adama, Lieutenant Thrace and Doctor Baltar found them, appearing to all the world as if they were wrapped in a lovers' embrace.

~*~

While Lee and Laura had been battling the flight suit from Hades, on a different part of the ship Colonel Tigh knew there was something afoot. He'd gone to his room and found the whipped cream of Ellen's missing.

"Bill, it's Thrace," he declared to Adama who'd walked with him to the Colonel's quarters.

"You don't have proof," he said evenly, "but you know where to find her."

Tigh stormed out of his room to where the assorted officers and others were still playing cards. He seethed rage at the insubordinate officer as she happily raked in more of her winnings.

"Commander, Colonel, to what do we owe this pleasure?" she said with a smile on her face.

"Thrace! There's something of mine you have of a rather personal nature," he accused in front of everyone.

Baltar looked up at that moment because he was curious of the goings-on of the blonde pilot. "What could she possible have of yours? She's been here all evening?" He lit one of his own cigars as he watched Tigh.

"Oooh," she said looking saucily at Baltar. "Got a pair, did you? But I don't need your help because I don't have anything of the Colonel's."

Starbuck walked out of the room to talk to the officer privately, and Baltar followed her close behind.

"Does whipped cream mean anything to you, Lieutenant?" he accused.

"I'm not sure you're allowed to ask me that question, sir," she said with a wink.

"You know who has it," Tigh said again with certainty.

Adama looked on the two merely bored, while Baltar got a clue.

"Is that why the President's aide was here earlier?" he blurted.

Kara gave him a look that would have frozen a thousand fires.

"Billy has it?" Adama said shaking his head. He still didn't think that whipped cream was all that important.

"No, sir," Thrace said to her Commander.

"That glorified school teacher!" Tigh swore and started to stalk away with purpose. Adama, Starbuck and Baltar followed while Kara continued to argue with the Colonel the entire way to the flight deck.

"Why are we here?" the Baltar said, looking around with distaste.

A moment passed and Tigh noticed the bowl of whipped cream beside the President's discarded clothing. He let out an angry growl as he snatched the bowl with the minimal remains of cream.

"Frack," Adama said coolly with a dangerously low voice.

"Sir?" Kara asked before she followed his line of sight to where he was looking across the flight deck.

President Laura Roslin was there in just the barest of clothing with her body wrapped around Captain Lee Adama, who was bare-chested with his pants around his ankles. The two were in a close embrace and Lee had just kissed her cheek.

"When she said she had a craving, I didn't realize she meant a sexual craving," Starbuck said, mystified as she watched Lee and Laura hold each other.

Her comment snapped Adama into action. He strode across the flight deck as if he was about to wage war. "Madam President! What in the names of all the Lords of Kobol were you trying to do to my son?"

She looked up in surprise at the audience that had surrounded them. Too annoyed at the Commander to be anything but honest, Roslin said, "I was trying to get him out of his flight suit!"

"I can see that!" he spat in disgust.

Lee looked at himself and Laura and realized what the scene must have looked like to them. "She saved me from a severe burn, Commander!" he said with as much dignity as he could muster while removing the flight suit off his legs.

"Captain," Adama said with contempt, "that doesn't explain why you two are practically naked together." The Commander indicated the President who had moved behind Apollo to shield her state of undress from the others.

"If I want to get naked with the President, I will, and that doesn't have anything to do with you, sir," he said, pronouncing the last word as if was an insult of the highest order.

Starbuck took that moment to break things up between the two Adamas. "The show's over. Tigh has what's left of his whipped cream. Let's go, gentlemen."

She herded the three men off the flight deck while Adama was still staring daggers of ice at his son.

When they were all finally gone, Lee let out the breath that he'd been holding. He put his hands on his hips and shook his head in exasperation. They'd honestly believed that he and the President were going to have sex on the flight deck! He might have his kinks and quirks, but that wasn't one of them.

"I'm sorry, Madam President," he apologized to her about the others' behavior.

"Captain Apollo," she said suddenly feeling more naked than she did when she was straddling him in a pseudo-sexual pose. She walked quickly past him to put on her skirt and suit jacket and slip into her shoes. She tried to collect herself as Lee walked slowly over to her.

They both looked at each other awkwardly, and to Lee this was infinitely worse than the incident with the blue robe. That he remembered often.

"So if you want to get naked with the President you will, will you?" she said crossing her arms across the chest.

He smiled sheepishly. "That is what I said, ma'am, but only if the President wants it, too."

Laura finally laughed. The situation was absurd, but with Captain Apollo by her side everything still managed to work out. She didn't know how he did that.

"I may have to renegotiate the terms of your contract, Captain," she deadpanned as she tried to walk away in a dignified manner.

It was Lee's turn to chuckle. "Then you'd have to show me if you really are double-jointed, Madam President."

She smiled at him. "If I did that, you'd have to call me Laura."

"And you'd have to call me Lee, especially since I already know you're very good at getting me out of my clothes in a hurry," he said feigning innocence.

Roslin didn't really have anything to say to that statement until she concluded with a wink, "We all have our talents. Lee."

~*~*~*~

If you liked this story, please read the sequel "You Know What They Say".

If you really like Lee/Laura stories, please join the LauraRoslinLeeAdama Yahoo group. We have lots of good fic there.