Jump A Jet Plane
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zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] › Celeb › Canadian Idol
Rating:
Adult +
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Views:
828
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Category:
zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] › Celeb › Canadian Idol
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
828
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Canadian Idol, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Jump A Jet Plane
A/N: Jump A Jet Plane is one big crack!fic of fun. Brock is rifling through the airport dump, scavenging for food. Elena is broke and trying to get home to BC. Shane is a pilot flying a commercial jet from Toronto to Abbotsford. Jacob, his co-pilot, can't seem to behave. Stewardess Kalan is trying to keep their antics in line, as they are disturbing the passengers. Will the passengers go insane, or will Kalan save the day? And is there really a raccoon loose in the cockpit? And who is hogging the bathroom?
Disclaimer: The Canadian Idol series and its competitors are the property of 19e and CTV. This is a work of fanfiction. No money is being made from this story and no infringement is intended. Song lyrics are from Gordon Lightfoot's Early Mornin' Rain. Only the plot is mine.***
------
--- X --- Jump A Jet Plane --- X ---
--- by paperbacksniper ---
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Brock rifled through one of the many large dumpsters out behind the airport. Food in the city of Toronto was slim if you had no money, and it was no secret that it was much easier to come by at the airport. Many of the travelers would purchase edibles and then throw them out as they made a run for their flights. Or if they had a Styrofoam cup still half full with coffee, they would hand it off to whoever was outside and in the way of their jog in.
But Brock was tired of coffee. Instead, he was searching through the dumpster near the airport's McDonalds, hoping to find something that could be eaten. Of course, it was always easy to get things from this particular spot. As always, right on time, the back door to the McDonald's opened, and out stepped one of the burger boys.
"Hey Josh!" crowed Brock, as he slid down a pile of garbage bags and out of the dumpster to land at the older boy's feet. He looked up at him and smiled as Josh tossed a Happy Meal bag down at him Brock opened it up and grinned. Chicken McNuggets. His favourite.
In the early morning rain, with a dollar in my hand,
With an achin' in my heart, and my pockets full of sand,
I'm a long way from home; Lord, I miss my loved ones so.
In the early mornin' rain, with no place to go.
"You can't jump a jet plane like you can a freight train..." hummed Elena to herself, as she conceived all possible ways to sneak into the cargo hold of a plane that was heading to British Columbia. She had been too far for too long; she wanted to go home. She slung her long, wet black hair over her shoulder. It was drizzling out, and she was huddling on the grass, as close to shelter as she could muster. Mostly though, it was close to the plane.
Out on runway number nine, big seven-oh-seven set to go.
But I'm stuck here in the grass, where the pavement never grows.
Now the liquor tasted good, and the women all were fast.
Well there she goes, my friend, she'll be rolling now at last.
Theresa watched the luggage being loaded into the plane, the palm of her hand pressed against the cold Plexiglas of the window. She gave a quick smile to the man who looked up as he heaving a large suitcase onto the conveyor belt. He smiled at her. Self conscious, she waved. He smiled again. Freaked out, she slammed down the blind and turned around in her seat. The blonde girl sitting next to her gave her a Look. Theresa glared at her and peeked out the blind again.
The creepy man was gone. What replaced him was an Oriental girl, running up the conveyor belt. Theresa blinked and slammed down the blind again, just as the engines of the plane started up.
People in Toronto were weird.
Hear the mighty engines roar, see the silver bird on high;
She's away and Westward bound. Far above the clouds she'll fly,
Where the mornin' rain don't fall and the Sun always shines.
She'll be flying o'er my home, in about three hours time.
"Man, you gotta get outta der." shouted the Kaleb, the luggage boy, at Elena. She sheepishly peered out from behind a rather large suitcase. "Yah, you der. Out. Get outta der."
Defeated, she did as was told, but not without dragging with her, the two largest suitcases she could find.
"An' stay out, yo."
This old airport's got me down; it's no earthly good to me.
And I'm stuck here on the ground, as cold and drunk as I can be.
You can't jump a jet plane like you can a freight train,
So I'd best be on my way in the early mornin' rain.
Elena watched through blurry eyes as the plane flew off down the wet runway. She was sitting in the shelter of a dumpster, the suitcases she had pilfered were opened around her and filled to the brim with bottles of alcohol. She sighed. Even if she wasn't on that plane, she could always catch the next one.
* * *
The intercom system of the plane switched on, just so the passengers could hear it above the roar of the engines starting up.
Crackle. Hiss. Pop. Crackle.
Then a light coughing noise. “Attention all passengers,” the male voice began, upbeat and cheerful. “This is, Shane Wie-“
Pop. Crackle.
“He also answers to Shaneifer!”
Hiss.
“… Wiebe. I will be your pilot today for the duration of your flight from Toronto to Abbotsford, as well, I have the assistance of my co-pi-“
Crackle. Hiss.
“His buddy, Jakey!”
A loud scuffling noise came over the speakers, and then nothing could be heard over the rattle of the engines. Passengers began to look over to each other for answers as to what was going on.
The Stewardess walked as quickly as she could from the back of the plane, to the cockpit, the swish of her skirt the only thing louder than the engines. Any enquiring comments were silenced by a gruff ‘everything’s alright’ and with a toss of her blonde curls, she was gone past the curtain to talk with the pilots.
The murmuring amongst the passengers started.
”I wonder what’s going on?”
“Is that second guy even supposed to be in there?”
”Maybe he killed the pilot?”
“Maybe the pilot killed him!”
”I thought Stewardesses were supposed to be hot.”
”Yeah, she’s pretty ugly.”
”Ugly doesn’t quite cut it… she’s fugly.”
“ … at least she doesn’t have facial hair.”
“Doesn’t have breasts either.”
”Do you think if I paid her, she’d su-“
The last comment was cut short, as Kalan, the Stewardess, pushed aside the curtain and came to stand at the front of the plane. She forced a smile at them. The intercom switched back on, and this time, there was less static.
There was also less cheer.
”Hello again, passengers. This is your pilot Shane Wiebe. As mentioned before, we are flying from Toronto to Abbotsford. It’s a great day for flying, and we should not encounter any problems. And now, I will turn over the mic to my co-pilot, Jacob Hoggard.” The last bit was said with strained pleasantness.
Shane’s voice was replaced with dead air for a moment, before everyone had to cover their ears. Jacob, the co-pilot, had apparently turned up the volume. “Hay guys! Can everyone hear me? Great! I’m Jakey, the co-pilot! I’ll also be the guy who flies us into the turbulence and rather large mountain sides! Also, if anyone orders anything off the menu, go for the soup! Oh, and thank you for flying HoYay Air!”
The intercom switched off.
Kalan blinked at the passengers.
Half were creeped out. The other half were swooning in their seats.
“I wish she’d stop standing there.”
”I wish she’d stop blinking at us.”
”Oh. My. God. She’s eye fucking us all.”
The last comment was met with silence.
And Kalan blinked on.
* * *
The flight was similar to every other flight that Theresa had ever been on, except that someone was hogging the bathroom. She banged on the door again and did a funny little dance. “Come on!” she squeaked, “You’ve been in there ever since we took off! I really need to go!”
All that could be heard from within was the scuffing of shoes on the floor and the shifting of fabric.
Theresa let out a frustrated yell, and stormed back to her seat. She really, really needed to go, and some jack-off wouldn’t let her in. As soon as they got out, they’d be getting an ear full from her.
Right after she made use of the facilities.
* * *
HoYay Air came into some turbulence while flying over Saskatchewan somewhere. The plane was shaking quite badly, and some funny noises were coming from the cockpit. An official announcement was never made over the intercom about this issue, but Stewardess Kalan took charge, and went barging in to the room, and moments later she came out again unharmed, albeit looking slightly ruffled. But the plane was also no longer encountering any problems, so the passengers did not question the disturbance.
When the turbulence reoccurred again, half an hour later, passengers were starting to enquire as to what was going on. The noises were even worse this time, and a few people were questioning it with raised eyebrows, and others were snickering, such as the surfer dude from Los Angeles with his over-tanned boyfriend. Even the Stewardess looked perturbed, and she ran behind the curtain, her cheeks flushed with something which was similar to nervous excitement.
The turbulence went on for another five or six minutes, the noises continuing to filter in from the cockpit. There was a scrabbling noise, and finally it stopped. The entire plane was silent, save for the engines purring around them. Finally Kalan re-emerged, straightening her tie and skirt. She looked up at the passengers staring at her, she bit her lip and readjusted her tie again, so that it would cover the red spot that had shown up on her neck.
A crackling noise filled the plane as the intercom was once again turned on.
"Attention passengers! This is your pilot speaking. We apologize for the rough ride. There were a few raccoons that appeared to have gotten loose, but do not panic. With the help of our Stewardess, we have managed to round them all up, with minimal harm to ourselves. Please enjoy the rest of your flight with HoYay Air."
The crackling stopped again and silence once again filled the plane.
It was quickly broken by Theresa running to the bathroom door and banging on it for all she was worth. Eventually a Ricky Martin look alike exited and muttered that he 'couldn't go anyway'. She shot him a glare and slammed the door behind her.
The rest of the flight was uneventful.
As the passengers were being unloaded from the plane, the copilots came out to wish them well on their journey. Both were covered in red spots all over their necks, which were apparently caused by the raccoons. Theresa, eager to get off the plane, murmured a quick thanks to them both. One pointed to the other and leaning down whispered in her ear.
"Shaney likes balls."
The other pilot quickly retorted.
"He does not!"
"Yes he does!"
"Does not!"
"Does so!"
"Does not!"
"BAAAAAALLLLLLS!"
Theresa stared and then quickly bolted for the ramp off the plane. She would be flying West Jet or Air Canada next time
~to be continued~
(Next time - what exactly happened in the cockpit? I'm sure you can all imagine ... but maybe it's not exactly what you think. Two pilots and a Stewardess. Something happened, but no one is saying what.)
Disclaimer: The Canadian Idol series and its competitors are the property of 19e and CTV. This is a work of fanfiction. No money is being made from this story and no infringement is intended. Song lyrics are from Gordon Lightfoot's Early Mornin' Rain. Only the plot is mine.***
Brock rifled through one of the many large dumpsters out behind the airport. Food in the city of Toronto was slim if you had no money, and it was no secret that it was much easier to come by at the airport. Many of the travelers would purchase edibles and then throw them out as they made a run for their flights. Or if they had a Styrofoam cup still half full with coffee, they would hand it off to whoever was outside and in the way of their jog in.
But Brock was tired of coffee. Instead, he was searching through the dumpster near the airport's McDonalds, hoping to find something that could be eaten. Of course, it was always easy to get things from this particular spot. As always, right on time, the back door to the McDonald's opened, and out stepped one of the burger boys.
"Hey Josh!" crowed Brock, as he slid down a pile of garbage bags and out of the dumpster to land at the older boy's feet. He looked up at him and smiled as Josh tossed a Happy Meal bag down at him Brock opened it up and grinned. Chicken McNuggets. His favourite.
In the early morning rain, with a dollar in my hand,
With an achin' in my heart, and my pockets full of sand,
I'm a long way from home; Lord, I miss my loved ones so.
In the early mornin' rain, with no place to go.
"You can't jump a jet plane like you can a freight train..." hummed Elena to herself, as she conceived all possible ways to sneak into the cargo hold of a plane that was heading to British Columbia. She had been too far for too long; she wanted to go home. She slung her long, wet black hair over her shoulder. It was drizzling out, and she was huddling on the grass, as close to shelter as she could muster. Mostly though, it was close to the plane.
Out on runway number nine, big seven-oh-seven set to go.
But I'm stuck here in the grass, where the pavement never grows.
Now the liquor tasted good, and the women all were fast.
Well there she goes, my friend, she'll be rolling now at last.
Theresa watched the luggage being loaded into the plane, the palm of her hand pressed against the cold Plexiglas of the window. She gave a quick smile to the man who looked up as he heaving a large suitcase onto the conveyor belt. He smiled at her. Self conscious, she waved. He smiled again. Freaked out, she slammed down the blind and turned around in her seat. The blonde girl sitting next to her gave her a Look. Theresa glared at her and peeked out the blind again.
The creepy man was gone. What replaced him was an Oriental girl, running up the conveyor belt. Theresa blinked and slammed down the blind again, just as the engines of the plane started up.
People in Toronto were weird.
Hear the mighty engines roar, see the silver bird on high;
She's away and Westward bound. Far above the clouds she'll fly,
Where the mornin' rain don't fall and the Sun always shines.
She'll be flying o'er my home, in about three hours time.
"Man, you gotta get outta der." shouted the Kaleb, the luggage boy, at Elena. She sheepishly peered out from behind a rather large suitcase. "Yah, you der. Out. Get outta der."
Defeated, she did as was told, but not without dragging with her, the two largest suitcases she could find.
"An' stay out, yo."
This old airport's got me down; it's no earthly good to me.
And I'm stuck here on the ground, as cold and drunk as I can be.
You can't jump a jet plane like you can a freight train,
So I'd best be on my way in the early mornin' rain.
Elena watched through blurry eyes as the plane flew off down the wet runway. She was sitting in the shelter of a dumpster, the suitcases she had pilfered were opened around her and filled to the brim with bottles of alcohol. She sighed. Even if she wasn't on that plane, she could always catch the next one.
The intercom system of the plane switched on, just so the passengers could hear it above the roar of the engines starting up.
Crackle. Hiss. Pop. Crackle.
Then a light coughing noise. “Attention all passengers,” the male voice began, upbeat and cheerful. “This is, Shane Wie-“
Pop. Crackle.
“He also answers to Shaneifer!”
Hiss.
“… Wiebe. I will be your pilot today for the duration of your flight from Toronto to Abbotsford, as well, I have the assistance of my co-pi-“
Crackle. Hiss.
“His buddy, Jakey!”
A loud scuffling noise came over the speakers, and then nothing could be heard over the rattle of the engines. Passengers began to look over to each other for answers as to what was going on.
The Stewardess walked as quickly as she could from the back of the plane, to the cockpit, the swish of her skirt the only thing louder than the engines. Any enquiring comments were silenced by a gruff ‘everything’s alright’ and with a toss of her blonde curls, she was gone past the curtain to talk with the pilots.
The murmuring amongst the passengers started.
”I wonder what’s going on?”
“Is that second guy even supposed to be in there?”
”Maybe he killed the pilot?”
“Maybe the pilot killed him!”
”I thought Stewardesses were supposed to be hot.”
”Yeah, she’s pretty ugly.”
”Ugly doesn’t quite cut it… she’s fugly.”
“ … at least she doesn’t have facial hair.”
“Doesn’t have breasts either.”
”Do you think if I paid her, she’d su-“
The last comment was cut short, as Kalan, the Stewardess, pushed aside the curtain and came to stand at the front of the plane. She forced a smile at them. The intercom switched back on, and this time, there was less static.
There was also less cheer.
”Hello again, passengers. This is your pilot Shane Wiebe. As mentioned before, we are flying from Toronto to Abbotsford. It’s a great day for flying, and we should not encounter any problems. And now, I will turn over the mic to my co-pilot, Jacob Hoggard.” The last bit was said with strained pleasantness.
Shane’s voice was replaced with dead air for a moment, before everyone had to cover their ears. Jacob, the co-pilot, had apparently turned up the volume. “Hay guys! Can everyone hear me? Great! I’m Jakey, the co-pilot! I’ll also be the guy who flies us into the turbulence and rather large mountain sides! Also, if anyone orders anything off the menu, go for the soup! Oh, and thank you for flying HoYay Air!”
The intercom switched off.
Kalan blinked at the passengers.
Half were creeped out. The other half were swooning in their seats.
“I wish she’d stop standing there.”
”I wish she’d stop blinking at us.”
”Oh. My. God. She’s eye fucking us all.”
The last comment was met with silence.
And Kalan blinked on.
The flight was similar to every other flight that Theresa had ever been on, except that someone was hogging the bathroom. She banged on the door again and did a funny little dance. “Come on!” she squeaked, “You’ve been in there ever since we took off! I really need to go!”
All that could be heard from within was the scuffing of shoes on the floor and the shifting of fabric.
Theresa let out a frustrated yell, and stormed back to her seat. She really, really needed to go, and some jack-off wouldn’t let her in. As soon as they got out, they’d be getting an ear full from her.
Right after she made use of the facilities.
HoYay Air came into some turbulence while flying over Saskatchewan somewhere. The plane was shaking quite badly, and some funny noises were coming from the cockpit. An official announcement was never made over the intercom about this issue, but Stewardess Kalan took charge, and went barging in to the room, and moments later she came out again unharmed, albeit looking slightly ruffled. But the plane was also no longer encountering any problems, so the passengers did not question the disturbance.
When the turbulence reoccurred again, half an hour later, passengers were starting to enquire as to what was going on. The noises were even worse this time, and a few people were questioning it with raised eyebrows, and others were snickering, such as the surfer dude from Los Angeles with his over-tanned boyfriend. Even the Stewardess looked perturbed, and she ran behind the curtain, her cheeks flushed with something which was similar to nervous excitement.
The turbulence went on for another five or six minutes, the noises continuing to filter in from the cockpit. There was a scrabbling noise, and finally it stopped. The entire plane was silent, save for the engines purring around them. Finally Kalan re-emerged, straightening her tie and skirt. She looked up at the passengers staring at her, she bit her lip and readjusted her tie again, so that it would cover the red spot that had shown up on her neck.
A crackling noise filled the plane as the intercom was once again turned on.
"Attention passengers! This is your pilot speaking. We apologize for the rough ride. There were a few raccoons that appeared to have gotten loose, but do not panic. With the help of our Stewardess, we have managed to round them all up, with minimal harm to ourselves. Please enjoy the rest of your flight with HoYay Air."
The crackling stopped again and silence once again filled the plane.
It was quickly broken by Theresa running to the bathroom door and banging on it for all she was worth. Eventually a Ricky Martin look alike exited and muttered that he 'couldn't go anyway'. She shot him a glare and slammed the door behind her.
The rest of the flight was uneventful.
As the passengers were being unloaded from the plane, the copilots came out to wish them well on their journey. Both were covered in red spots all over their necks, which were apparently caused by the raccoons. Theresa, eager to get off the plane, murmured a quick thanks to them both. One pointed to the other and leaning down whispered in her ear.
"Shaney likes balls."
The other pilot quickly retorted.
"He does not!"
"Yes he does!"
"Does not!"
"Does so!"
"Does not!"
"BAAAAAALLLLLLS!"
Theresa stared and then quickly bolted for the ramp off the plane. She would be flying West Jet or Air Canada next time
(Next time - what exactly happened in the cockpit? I'm sure you can all imagine ... but maybe it's not exactly what you think. Two pilots and a Stewardess. Something happened, but no one is saying what.)