More Than A Lover

Title: More Than A Lover
Author: kira-nerys; kira at kardasi dot com
Codes Mc/C
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Almost dying, more than 200 years back in time gives Chekov something to think about.
Disclaimer. Leonard McCoy, Pavel Chekov, James T. Kirk, Mr Spock and the Klingon Bird of Prey etc etc all belong to Paramount and Viacom. No infringement on their copyright is intended, and I'm making no profit on this.
Author's note. This story is for Karmen Ghia who for a very long time now has been pleading for me to write a Chekov story, and Berkeley who gave me such nice feedback on a story of mine, I just wanted to give something back.
Webpage: http://www.kardasi.com
Beta: Scarlet, thanks my friend for a swift and thorough beta.

MORE THAN A LOVER

Let it be known you're my heart, you're my home
You're the world that I want to discover.
All I can give is the way that I live
And I want to be more than a lover
Let me be more than a lover.

Bonnie Tyler "More Than A Lover"

Pavel reached his cabin; a splitting headache nearly making him see double, but he just didn't have the energy to go seek out Dr. McCoy at this moment. Instead, he stepped into his quarters, easing himself carefully down on the steel-hard bunk. Those damned Klingons didn't have particularly comfortable beds, and Pavel wondered how they managed to sleep at all. Laying a hand over his head, he hoped that a few minutes of rest would make him feel better. The stench on the Klingon Bird of Prey didn't exactly help; he'd never get used to it.

Drawing several deep breaths, he tried to ease himself into some kind of meditative state. Mr. Spock had given lessons that he had tried to attend on occasion. Hopefully they would help him now. There was too much to think about, and too little time to think, and he wasn't really in any shape to take on the life-changing thoughts that were churning in his mind. They'd be back on Earth in just a few days, and then only god knew what would happen.

Turning over in his bed once more, he winced as the throbbing pain in his head wouldn't subside. It grew steadily worse and he'd never be able to meditate this way. It seemed he would have to seek out Leonard after all. It wasn't an easy decision to make. He swallowed violently and rose from the bed. The headache was transforming itself into one of those migraine attacks he used to suffer from when he was younger. He hadn't had one of those since... he couldn't remember. He started making his way toward the inadequate sickbay on the Klingon ship. As he reached it, he leaned against the doorframe. Leonard was standing by one of the consoles, no doubt reading up on the whales. Just seeing him made Pavel feel better, and he tried to straighten as he cleared his throat.

"Mr, Chekov, I didn't hear you coming. How're you feeling?"

"Not too good, Doctor," he admitted and a shiver ran through his body as Leonard took a hold of his arm and lead him toward one of the hard bunks that were the only real furniture in the room.

"Well, tell me what's wrong then," Leonard encouraged.

"I have a splitting headache that won't subside."

Leonard's brow creased with concern and Pavel couldn't help but relax at the attention. He'd been close to dying, but Leonard had saved his life, and he was quite sure that whatever happened, the doctor would make the pain go away.

"Is it a migraine attack?"

"Yes."

"How long has this been going on? From the look of you, it's gotta be pretty bad."

"It is."

"Why didn't you come see me right away?" Leonard asked as he ran a medical scanner over Pavel's head.

"I was hoping that the headache would go away if I got some sleep."

"After a blow to the head like the one you got, you shouldn't take any chances," Leonard said absentmindedly. "It doesn't seem to be anything really wrong though. The artery in your head has healed completely. I would guess that this is more stress-related."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm always right. I'm the doctor, remember? Now, just relax and I'll give you a hypo-spray. In a few seconds you'll feel right as rain."

Pavel tried to relax as the cool metal of the hypo-spray was pressed against his neck. He looked up at the doctor. Leonard McCoy, whom he had known for the better part of his adult life, was the kindest soul he knew. He might seem harsh and blunt sometimes, but he had a heart of gold, which was why Pavel loved him. Why hadn't he ever told Leonard the truth? This man wouldn't laugh at him, or look down on him for admitting what he felt, would he? He'd almost died, and Leonard had seemed very concerned about him... But then again, Leonard was concerned about everybody; that was what made him such a good physician.

"Feeling any better?"

"Yes, sir," Pavel said and sat up in the bunk. The headache was completely gone, as he had been quite sure it would be. McCoy seldom failed anyone. He felt reluctant to leave, but his last words had turned out so formal, not at all words that really invited any revelations of the kind he would like to make. And truly, did he want to make such an admission? It could ruin a friendship he valued very much.

But he could have died today. He could have *died*. Leonard McCoy was a rather lonely man, with few friends and even less family. Wouldn't he welcome knowing that someone cared so deeply for him?

"Was there something else you wanted to talk about, PaveLeonLeonard said and looked at him with concerned eyes. Those eyes, that despite the coldness of the blue could hold so much compassion and so much care. Pavel really wanted to know what those eyes would look like if they held passion. Was that something that was possible for him?

He breathed in deeply and then averted his eyes from the concerned face.

"Come on, Chekov. We've known each other for years. If it helps any, I'm a doctor, I'ettyetty sure nothing you'll say will shock me. I've heard it all."

Pavel laughed a short, shaky laugh.

"I'm quite sure, Doctor, that you haven't heard this one."

"It can't be all that bad. Is there something wrong with you? Something I don't know about?"

"No, this is of a more personal nature, and I'm not sure I really want to discuss it with anyone."

"All right, if it's personal, I suggest we lay off the titles, don't you, Pavel?" Leonard turned around and looked through the sickbay. "Don't these blasted Klingons ever *sit*?"

Pavel had to smile at that. He felt nearly frightened, knowing that Leonard had recognized his wish - his need - to talk and wouldn't let go easily. He was like that, like a dog with a bone, if he thought there was something he could help with. Pavel swallowed. Well this was it. Either Leonard would accept his words, embrace them and his life would change forever. Or Leonard would listen to him and look at him with compassion or even pity and say. "Hey Pavel, I'm flattered, but... " Or perhaps it would even make the physician uneasy and their friendship would indeed be ruined.

Well, I'll still have a friend in Hikaru, and Nyota, Pavel thought. The Captain and Mr. Spock won't treat me differently. It won't be the end of the world, and at least I'll *know*.

"I have found a place where we could sit down for a while, if you have time?" Pavel said and jumped down from the sickbed. Leonard looked at him and shot him a warm smile. The smile made Leonard look younger and the eyes sparkled with mischief and a zest for life that Pavel hadn't seen in any other person he knew.

"Let's bring a bottle of Klingon Blood wine. I'm off duty. I should be asleep. I've been awake for 17 hours straight, but a nightcap will only make me sleep so much better."

Pavel nodded and smiled as Leonard grabbed a bottle standing in one of the refrigerators in sickbay.

"I think this is the only painkiller these Klingons allowed their staff," Leonard gruffed. "Damned barbarians!"

Together they moved out of sickbay towards a room further on which must have served as a dining area. They both found a chair and sat down, Leonard filling their glasses with the wine that was so red it seemed almost black. Pavel reached out for the glass and took a healthy swallow. Perhaps that would give him the courae nee needed to speak.

"So, Pavel, what did you need to talk about. I'm all ears."

"Ah.... " He looked at his hands. Leonard could really be... blunt sometimes. What did he expect? He couldn't just blurt it out, could he? That would shock Leonard to hell and back. "I... I really do not know where to begin, Doctor."

"Hey, call me Len if that makes things any easier for you. We're not on duty and this isn't going into any records."

"Len..." Pavel tasted it. It suited him, better than the long and formal Leonard, better than the hard McCoy. Better than Bones even, which was Kirk's private nickname for him. He kept silent for a moment longer, then he said: "It is difficult. There are certain... things you do not know about me."

"Okay, I can appreciate that."

"I...." He looked up and into Leonard's eyes, and suddenly his mouth went completely dry. Those eyes were looking at him expectantly, patiently. The mouth was smiling a warm and slightly crooked smile, and Leonard seemed so relaxed and so at ease. It was as if oldeolder man truly considered them close friends, and all he wanted was to give his friend the help that he thought he might be able to give.

"I'm sorry, sir. I can not talk about this." Pavel rose and left.

"Hey, Pavel... wait up. Chekov!"

But Pavel didn't stop. He couldn't. Instead, he kept moving through the dimly lit corridors, almost running through the ship, until he reached his quarters, the harsh, cold and hard room which had been assigned to him when they had hi-ed ted the Bird of Prey. The door closed behind him and he sat on the bunk, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He closed his eyes, trying to pull himself together. He hadn't said anything irretrievable, hadn't made a fool of himself and this friendship could still be salvaged. If only he was left alone long enough to be able to come up with a good explanation of why he'd left so abruptly.

"Chekov. Open the door. Pavel!" Leonard's fists connected harshly with the metal as he pounded on the door. "Come on. We do need to talk."

Why? Pavel thought. Why do we need to talk? Just leave me alone.

But the doctor must have used some kind of override, for all of a sudden the doors slid apart to reveal Leonard standing there.

"May I come in?"

"Suit yourself." Pavel replied tiredly. "It seems I do not have much to say in the matter."

Leonard stepped into the room, looking at him seriously. Then he sat beside Pavel on the bunk.

"I think Iw whw what you wanted to say."

Pavel's heartbeat sped up yet again and he shot the doctor a look. Leonard seemed calm and collected and there was no disgust or distance in the blue eyes. Perhaps he had misunderstood and thought there was something else he had needed to talk about? But Leonard's next words took that hope from him.

"Love is nothing to be ashamed of. Telling me about it isn't anything you should fear. I must admit I am a little surprised. I hadn't noticed. I had no friggin' idea." The doctor ran his hand through his already mussed hair, and Pavel didn't know what to say. It didn't seem he had to say anything, because the other man kept talking.

"I hadn't expected this, and it's certainly not the way I had pictured it," Leonard admitted softly. "I'd not imagined this happening on a smelly Klingon Bird of Prey. I'd not pictured it in a cold, hard environment like this..."

"You have imagined... me... like this?" Pavel finamanamanaged to say.

Leonard looked away, but with a rueful smile on his lips. "No, I have to admit, I'd imagined the person to fall in love with me somewhat more curvaceous, petite, perhaps blonde. But, you know, Pavel, love seldom comes in the shapes or ways we expect it to."

Pavel closed his eyes. It hurt. Those words hurt. "The least you can expect is for it to come in the right gender," he said and rose to his feet, beginning to pace. He couldn't look at Leonard. This was not the way he had expected their conversation to develop.

"I don't vant you here out of compassion or pity, McCoy," he said harshly. He couldn't keep the pain out of his voice and his Russian accent became thicker.

"Len, my name is *Len*, remember?" Leonard said softly, and moved from the bunk. Pavel backed away, but the doctor was quicker, and soon a pair of square, strong hands gripped his shoulders and he was pulled into an awkward embrace.

"I was surprised at first, I have to admit, Pavel, but you're wrong. You're not the wrong gender. Just not the gender I expected. I've been with other men, and I've enjoyed it far more than you know. I just never expected to find love with a man."

Then Leonard kissed him. Pavel put his hands on the narrow chest, trying to push away at first, but the other man wouldn't let go, and the kiss lingered, Leonard's lips was infinitely softer and warmer than he'd dreamed of, and he'd never expected this; never truly expected to feel those lips against his. He relaxed, opened up for the kiss, and let out a breathy moan that he couldn't quite stop.

The kiss deepened and he allowed the questing tongue into his mouth. Restlessly, he moved his hands upward to the bony shoulders, pulling Leonard closer, feeling the passion rise within him. He wanted this so much. Leonard McCoy couldn't know how much. They kissed for a long time and Pavel had never felt anything so right, so perfect. After a long moment, he finally regained his mind and was able to participate, taste the kiss, feel the touch of the broad, squared hands roaming his back, pulling him closer. The caresses set him on fire.

"Len," he breathed, moving his hands to the other man's narrow hips, enjoying the feel of the hard bone and wiry muscles underneath his hands. He moved his hands downwards, squeezed and became bolder as he heard quiequiet, encouraging gasp from Leonard's lips.

"Do that again," Leonard whispered. "Touch me."

And Pavel did touch him, moved his hands over the tight ass, caressing, squeezing it, pulling the older man closer, enjoying the feel of the growing hardness there, mirroring his own. Leonard wanted him as much as he wanted Leonard. They kissed again and this time, Leonard's hands explored his body impatiently. Soon, he was urgently pulling at the black t-shirt Pavel was wearing.

"I sure wish these beds were more comfortable," Leonard said wistfully, shooting a glance over at the sorry excuse for a bed.

"We'll make do," Pavel said. He wouldn't let such a minor detail destroy what was happening right now.

"Yes, we will," Leonard agreed huskily and pulled the t-shirt over his head, looking at him with passion-filled eyes, and Pavel couldn't stop his next admission.

"I've wanted to see you like this, for so long, Len," he said. "I never thought I would."

"Like what?" Leonard said softly.

"Wanting...this...me."

"I do."

Nothing more was said for a long time. They helped each other get the clothing off, and then did what they could to make the bed more comfortable. Pavel lay back on the bunk, watching Leonard come closer. He moaned as the other man's warm hands finally moved over his naked skin, touching him lightly, caressing his shoulders and his stomach, moving closer to that urgent heat between his legs. But Leonard didn't touch him there, not yet, but simply lay down on top of him, settling between his invitingly spread legs. Pavel arched against the other man, as the slender weight settled on top of him.

"You're beautiful, Pavel. Did you know that?" A hand moved across his cheekbone, caressing it and Pavel opened his eyes, looking at Leonard, the features softened in awe and something more, tenderness perhaps... underneath the passion.

"Len, I want you so much," he gasped.

"Shh, Pavel. Take it easy. We have all night. We have the rest of our lives. Don't rush."

Somehow, those words made the flames inside him burn even brighter. There was so much promise behind them, and it made him happy, but eager and wanting at the same time. He moaned, and moved against the other man, rubbing his cock against the enticingly furred groin and the hardness there.

"I can not. Oh, Len. I want you too much."

"Youth," Leonard chuckled coar, re, revealing his own need, his own desire. Pavel gasped out loud when warm, strong fingers grasped his erection, caressing him expertly. "We'll just have to take the edge off, won't we?" Leonard teased.

Fire centered in Pavel's groin as Leonard started stroking him in earnest. Heat pooled in his belly, making him harder, pushing him closer to the edge with each stroke. And then, the older man's lips descended on his, claiming them, tongue-kissing him deeply, passionately and Pavel was lost; lost in a sea of pleasure.

"Oh..."

"Ride with it, feel it."

"Yes, oooh," Pavel could hardly believe that the deep, drawn-out moan came from him, but it did and it felt so good. That warm hand...that wonderful caress...so perfect. Oh yes.

"Come for me."

That soft voice in his ear, egging him on, soon pushed Pavel so far that he tumbled over the edge. Brilliant sensation exploded inside him as he came harder than he could remember doing in a very long time. No fantasy; no imagination - nothing - could make up for the real thing. Leonard was there, making love to him.

"Pavel," Leonard whispered, as he kissed his throat, moving the warm lips over his tingling, sensitive skin. "You beautiful man. You've got me so hot, so hard. Can you feel me?" Leonard tilted his hips a little, and Pavel moaned softly as he felt the steely hard erection pressing into his flesh. He moved a little, pushing Leonard to lie at his side, put his hand on the hardness, shifting so he could get a better grip. He wanted to give as good as he'd gotten and moved slowly down the bunk. His knees were protesting against bearing up his weight on the hard surface, but he paid it no heed. Instead, he moved between the older man's legs, caressing the parted thighs lovingly.

Leonard moaned, spreading his legs further apart.

"Yeah, I'm sensitive there. Just touch me. So good...."

Pavel leaned forward and put his lips on the inside of Leonard's thigh, kissing it softly, followed by a light nip. Not enough to hurt, just a soft one. Leonard groaned and drew his legs up further, exposing himself to Pavel's hungry gaze and questing mouth.

"Kiss me there, suck me. Please, Pavel."

Pavel obliged, moving his lips further up the furry legs, breathing hot breath on the drawn-up testicles, flicking his tongue out, licking them softly. Leonard's moans grew louder. He pulled one ball into his mouth, bathing it with saliva and the moans that kept escaping Leonard's lips made him shiver. His cock was stirring to life again. Oh yes, so beautiful. How he had wanted this, longed for this.

Leonard tasted clean, just a slight tang of salt and Pavel moved further up, licking along the hardened shaft, kissing it, loving the feel of the hard-soft, warm shaft against his lips and tongue. Leonard's hands moved from his sides, where they'd been trying to find something - anything to hold on to, but there was nothing, no sheet, no covers - nothing. The strong hands finally buried themselves into Pavel's hair, pulling him closer.

"Suck me," Leonard repeated his plea, and again, Pavel followed the older man's wish, pulling the erection into his mouth, sucking it deeper into his throat, loving it, caressing it.

"Oh yeah, Pavel, you're so damned good at that!"

A moment filled with Leonard's harsh breathing followed, and then Pavel sucked a little harder, flicking his tongue over the sensitive underside of the cock, moving his hand to the base, gripping it. His other hand was lightly grazing the fur, moving to caress the tightening balls.

"Oh!"

Pavel could feel the other man getting closer, the pulsing in the cock warning him that it would soon be over if he didn't stop. So, reluctantly he pulled his mouth off the cock, looking at the other man.

"Oh, damn, Pavel. Why d'ya stop? It's so good." Leonard's eyes were screwed almost fully shut and the dazed, passionate look on his face went all the way to Pavel's groin. He was so beautiful. Sexy.

"Len," he whispered. "I want to fuck you."

"Oh yeah?" Len's eyes opened fully, and the haze was apparently clearing somewhat.

"Yes."

The tone became teasing. "You wanna stick that gorgeous cock up my ass and fuck me blind, is that it?"

If Leonard didn't shut up, he would not be able to. He'd come again.

"Do not talk like that, Len, or it will be over before it begins."

"Sure you can fuck me. Got any lube?"

Lube? Pavel groaned inwardly. No, there was no lube.

"No."

Leonard sighed. "Just use your saliva. Be sure to stretch me properly, and we'll be fine."

Pavel sighed with relief and spit in his hand, spreading the wetness over his finger. The older man moaned as he skimmed it over the sensitive area behind his cock. Then he moved it against Leonard's dusky opening, pressing gently. Leonard moaned again, louder this time, but still from pleasure. Pavel's finger slid in slowly but surely, and he wiggled a bit, brushing against the prostate and Leonard bucked against him eagerly.

"More, damn you, Pavel. More."

And he pulled his finger out, adding another, flexing his fingers, feeling the muscle tighten around his knuckles, then slowly relaxing. Oh, he wanted to be in there so badly, drive himself deep into that tight, welcoming heat, but he wasn't going to hurt Len. Never hurt him. He drew a deep breath trying to calm himself, gathered some of the precome that was leaking from his hard sex and spread it across his erection.

"That's it, come inside me." Leonard said, looking at him with glazed eyes. He was horny, wanton and so beautiful.

Pavel moved into position, brushing his hard cock, slick with his pre-ejaculate, against the hole and started pushing, slowly but determinedly.

"Fuck me, Pavel," Leonard groaned. "It's been so long. Too fucking long, if you ask me."

Pavel kept pushing, feeling the muscle give way for the blunt head of his cock.

"Ooh..." Leonard groaned. "Yeah, it's been too long," he ground out and Pavel realized the penetration was quite painful. He began do withdraw, but Leonard's buried his hands into his hips. "Oh no, don't you dare! Push, dammit. It's not *that* painful."

Pavel watched Leonard worriedly as he was lying on his back before him, but the older man's erection was still hard, weeping and wanting. He looked into the other's eyes and saw nothing but honesty there, so he pushed again, pressing deeper inside his lover, groaning as he did so.

"You are so tight, Len. So warm, so tight. Feels so good."

"Yeah, I've got a scrawny little ass and it's good of you to fuck it." Leonard panted and bucked against him. "Come on!"

And Pavel started moving in earnest, keeping his eyes open, watching the play of emotions over his Leonard's face. His eyes were shut, and he was leaning his head back, exposing his neck. Pavel could almost tell exactly when the pain subsided and transformed into pleasure. He wanted to kiss the sensitive flesh of Leonard's neck, collarbone and chin, but didn't want to break the momentum. The other man was moaning continuously and Pavel knew he was hitting the prostate with every stroke, and he wasn't about to quit.

He pulled back and pushed in, again and again with long, hard - agonizingly pleasurable - strokes. He wouldn't be able to keep doing it for much longer, but it didn't look like Leonard had very far to go. Leonard lifted his head and looked him straight in the eye. The gaze made him grunt. It was so sexy, so intimate.

"Oh, God, Pavel. It's good, so good. Just like that." Leonard lifted his legs and wrapped them around his waist. Pavel moved his hand from a bony knee, brushing the inside of his lover's thigh, touching the balls softly, raking his nails along the hard shaft and grabbing the cock, starting to stroke it again.

"Oh... yes... that's good... so good," Leonard moaned; his face flushed from the pleasure. "I'm gonna come... yeah - oh - oh - yeah."

Then he did come, warm jets of semen spurting from his cock, bathing Pavel's hand as he kept caressing the jerking organ. The sight of Leonard letting go like that set him off as well. Pavel threw his head back and howled as he shot his seed deep into Leonard's warm, and so tight, ass. The sensation tingled through his abdomen and he saw bright spots dance before his eyes. It lasted forever - it was over too quickly.

"Len," he whispered as he came back to himself. "I love you."

"Yeah, I know," came the drowsy reply, and the blue eyes opened to look at him. Pavel knew the love was shining from his eyes. Naturally, he wanted to hear Leonard say it too, but knew it was too soon. He might have been carrying these feelings around for a long time, but Leonard hadn't and still he had given Pavel so much more than he had ever expected or could have hoped for already. But when Leonard smiled and reached out to caress his cheek, he whispered. "I'm falling for you, too, Pavel."

Pavel looked at him in surprise.

"Yeah, I'm surprised too. I didn't know... but when you came to me and couldn't tell me what you needed to talk about and I saw the look in your eyes.... It's been so long, I almost didn't recognize it. I wasn't appalled, I wasn't even shocked at what I saw in your eyes in there. I was happy. I've longed for someone to love me for so long, and I'm glad it's you, Pavel."

Pavel moved to lie down on the bunk beside Leonard and the older man gathered him into his arms and kept talking softly, almost whispering. "I guess at a certain point in my life, I'd accepted that love wasn't for me. I'm just an old, stubborn starfleet doctor who won't budge. Such creatures aren't exactly highly-sought-after life companions. And I thought... Well it doesn't really matter what I thought, does it?"

Of course it mattered, and Pavel would be sure to let Leonard McCoy know that it mattered to him, but not right now. He was too happy and too tired. They crept closer to keep the warmth in the forbidding harshness of the cabin and slowly drifted to sleep.

The last thing Pavel thought was that he couldn't wait to see how loving this man in a more comfortable place would be like. He couldn't imagine it being better than it already was.

END