Just walk away

Okay this is once more something for Tiff and the rest who like reading it. This is a response to a pretty old challenge (27/5/02), but well I printed it out and pinned it up on my little “idea board”, where so many things are actually posted….
It’s more or less a sequel to “One Fine Day”, but you don’t have to know it to understand this one – so the 1st part: http://de.geocities.com/mary_eve_parker/energizer.htm
Oh yeah Tiffany this is also a little changed, I just love it too much to write from Parker’s POV … so if it’s too naughty blame Tiffany for it *lol* - her new job is to keep me busy.
Oh and not to forget – I borrowed some lines from Celine Dion without letting her know *g* … bad I know LOL

Just walk away
By
Mary Eve Parker


“Miss Parker, could you do me a favor?” Broots asked me, shuddering with fear. That’s exactly the way I like to see him and I had to smile in amusement.

“What can I do for you, Broots?“ I hissed. I liked it when they, men, begged for something. I looked at him, straight into his eyes like I could read his thoughts.

“I know that it’s…. do you have any plans for Saturday?”

“You’re right, Brootsie, that is none of your business,“ I told him nicely. “What is this favor you want?” I tried to be nice, really nice, not Parker nice, Mary nice.

He started to stammer softly, I knew that it wasn’t easy for him to ask me. “Well… you know… well… it’s… that…”

“Just spill it, Broots, I won’t bite you.”

“It’s Debbie’s birthday this weekend and one of her wishes was that you would go to the new amusement park with her.”

‘She wanted me to go with her? Me, the Ice Queen?’ I looked at him for a moment, smiled a little and then said softly, “And what exactly is the problem with that?”

“So you’ll do it? Hey, that’s wonderful, she’ll be so happy!”

“Broots, from adult to adult,” I smirked at him, “if you stammer like that in front of women… “ I changed my mind about what I was going to say, “Just bring her to my place at 11am, okay? We’ll go out for lunch then we’ll go to the park and… she can sleep at my house, if that’s okay with you?”

“Oh, Miss Parker, I think that’s what she was dreaming of,” he looked down at the floor. “She adores you like a big sister, a mother and best friend all in one”

I smiled at him. I couldn’t believe that somebody could see more in me than the cold woman I tried to be, the woman who changed men like changing underwear. I tried to live with the picture people had of me – I wasn’t happy with it, but what could I do? I couldn’t change to my real self; they’d eat me alive in a second. Only Jarod could make me do that, he knew that he could do it and it was only for that one night, the most amazing night I ever had.

~~ Saturday ~~

I was worried about Jarod. I hadn’t seen him for two weeks now and I was really nervous about that. We’d had some telephone sex talk two days ago, now I needed him badly and he knew that, but he loved to tease me.

I was standing in the kitchen with mixed thoughts and still in my robe when the doorbell rang. I looked at the clock in my kitchen. It was eleven.

”Oh shit.” I muttered in disbelief.

I went to the door and od itd it. Debbie was standing there with a big smile on her face.

“Come in, honey,” I said in a sweet voice, nodding to Broots who had decided to stay in the car. “Happy Birthday.” I said and hugged her tight. I felt her smile against my cheek. She was starting to turn into a young woman, no longer a little girl. Today she was twelve years old, wearing a pair of tight black jeans and a blue tank top.

“I have to get dressed. Do you want to stay downstairs or go up and help me get ready?”

“Go up with you, Miss Parker.” she said, smiling.

‘I am stunned day by day when I see her. She is such an amazing girl and she likes me like nobody else does.’

We went up to my bedroom and I took a quick shower while Debbie searched through my drawers and closet. She’d asked me if she could look through my clothes and I’d just nodded. My weapon was downstairs, so there shouldn’t… oh shit, I forgot about the small collection in my underwear drawer… it will be more than embarrassing for me.

I rushed my shower and went back into my bedroom without drying my hair. I stood at the door, wrapped in a big, dark blue towel watching Debbie looking through my shoe rack in the back of the walk-in closet.

“It’s amazing how many pairs of shoes you have, Miss Parker.” I walked over to the bed, grinning a little; knowing that half of them hadn’t yet seen the dirty street. It’s the same with me and underwear.

“So, what are you going to wear today?” she asked me when she noticed that I was sitting on the edge of the bed studying her.

“Whatever you want me to wear,” I offered, “Sweetie, it’s your big day not mine.”

“Hmm….” She searched through my closet until she found the pair of dark blue Levis I had bought about a year ago and not yet worn. “I think I like this one,” she showed me the jeans and I smiled at her. “And I like this shirt,” she said, handing me a simple light yellow top with a deep V in the front. The clothes weren’t something I usually wore, at least not anywhere besides at home, but this was Debbie’s day.

I smiled and took the clothes from her, got some underwear and went back to the bathroom. Debbie had made me nervous. It looked like she was going find the well hidden *me* and I couldn’t risk Broots finding that out.

“I like your closet, Miss Parker.” she told me through the bathroom door.

“Thanks, darling, and please call me Mary.”

“Mary…” she murmured. Maybe she’d thought that I didn’t have a first name, but when Jarod was around, I was Mary, so it had gotten a little easier lately.

When I came out of the bathroom, wearing very little makeup and fully dressed, she looked at me in disbelief.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her and sat next to her on the bed.

“You’re different, Miss Park…. Mary, you aren’t like the last time…” she stammered softly.

“Well, Debbie, my life is changing, not much, but a little.”

“I don’t want to go out for lunch. Could we just eat here before we go to the amusement park? I want to chat with you and I really like your house,” she asked.

I was a little shocked. It seemed like I had really impressed her today. Normally she loved to go out for lunch with me.

+++++

So, we sat there on my futon eating pizza. I couldn’t believe that I was eating a big Trito di Carne on my own, that I was eating junk food at all. I was sitting there in my jeans having fun, fun with Debbie.

“So, Mary, what has changed?” she asked me unexpectedly.

“Well…. how should I say…” Now it was my turn to stammer and be more than nervous.

“It’s a man. Am I right?” I just nodded. “And how is he?”

“Well Debbie….”

“Tell me, Parker, we are friends and friends talk about everything.”

‘Yes, but you are twelve and I am over thirty, life is different.’

“Well, sweetie, let me just say that he is wonderful.”

She smiled at me and nodded. “Do you sleep with him?”

‘Wow.’ I looked at her, stunned. ‘What in the hell am I supposed to tell her about a thing like that?’

“Debbie, I am not sure what you know about that, but yes, we have sex.”

“Okay, I just wanted to know.”

“Why?” I asked her, slowly sipping from the glass of coke in my hand.

“You look a little better and you aren’t so angry anymore.”

“You noticed?”

“Not only me.” she said with a smile. “Also Daddy I think. If not, he wouldn’t have been brave enough to ask you.”

We both laughed about that because we knew that it was true. Broots was normally very shy, especially when it came to me. He is always stammering and tripping and maybe it’s my fault because I like to intimidate him.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked her.

“No, don’t be afraid…. I just read the note on your nightstand.”

‘Note? Oh…. that note… Jarod’s little poem about making me passing out.”

I blushed instantly. “It was really cute,” she added.

I smiled. Thank God, that Jarod had written it a little too flowery and metaphoric for her to know that he wanted to tie me up and tease me until I begged him to make love to me.

“So how is this guy? Only amazing, fantastic and a good poet?” she asked while getting another slice of the pizza.

“He is everything I want in a man, Debbie. He is strong, smart and such a gentleman.”

“Where is he now?”

“I don’t know, honey, we have a rather open relationship.” I said a little sad.

“You don’t seem happy about it.”

“Should I be happy about the fact that I can’t see him every day?”

“Of course not. Why don’t you tie him up somewhere and make him listen to you.”

‘Tie Jarod up?’ I grinned at that thought. “It’s not that easy, Debbie.” I took a deep breath. “His job requires that he travel a lot and I cannot stop that – it’s his life.”

“But you love him, so he should stay with you.”

“I know, Debbie, I know.” I said, a little frustrated. She knew me well, almost better than I knew myself. She saw that I needed him – maybe my eyes told her that I missed him.

+++++

“So what do you want to do first?” I asked her with a big smile. We were standing at the entrance of the park. She was so cute, as she walked hand in hand with me like I was her mother, but talked to me like I was her best friend.

The conversation earlier had showed me how much I really missed Jarod. I had fooled myself a little too much thinking that I could live without him. He phoned me some nights, some nights he didn’t. Sometimes it looked to me like he was playing a little dirty game with me, but then that night he had made love to me and told me how much I meant to him. That night was special, not only that it was a birthday present for me; it was much more – for me.

“What about the ghost train?” she said, giggling. I nodded with a big smile and we got into the first car.

Oh hell, this was horrible. I screamed like a twelve year old and Debbie along with me, she had her hand wrapped tightly around mine. But it was a lot of fun. Mr. Parker had never had the time to go to such places with me. I went to one for the first time at the age of 16 when I was at the boarding school in Europe.

When we got out, she asked me if she could get some cotton candy so we went to the booth to buy some. For me it seemed like she’d wanted to do this for a long time, just go somewhere with me. She was calling me Mary all the time and not Parker. She’d gotten used to it, like I had.

“So, when will you see him again?”

“Who?” I asked her, deep in thoughts while eating cotton candy. I nearly got the gooey stuff into my hair and once on my shirt.

“Your secret lover, Mary, the man without a name – you remember? The one who wants to tie you up?”

“Stop that, Debbie, please, this is a little uncomfortable for me, honey.”

“That’s why I mentioned it,” she said, giggling.

“Are you teasing me, sweetie?” I asked her and started to tickle her; right away, she started to giggle. We had nearly finished our cotton candy and as I tickled her, the rest dropped on the ground, but we didn’t cared. My sunglasses now holding my hair back, I continued tickling her and she seemed to be fully concentrated on giggling and breathing.

“Please stop… I can’t take it any longer,” and at exactly that moment, I saw him. Jarod - Jarod buying another woman an ice cream cone, hugging her tight and smiling down at her.

“Miss Parker?” Debbie started, but I didn’t answer, I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop looking in his direction. No, it couldn’t be. Not again and not with Jarod. It can’t happen, not to me, please I couldn’t stand that again. “Mary?” Debbie asked again and once again, I didn’t answer, so she turned around in my embrace and saw what I was looking at without knowing who the person was. I was just standing there, shocked, in fear, anxious and many other things all at once. I have never felt that helpless before.

“What are you looking at?” she asked me and I searched for something that would interest her, not wanting to mention the man I was staring at and who had just noticed me and Debbie standing there. Maybe he had also noticed how shocked I was.

“I thought you might want to go to the roller coaster,” I tried to smile at her when I said that and she nodded slowly, studying my face for a little too long.

I knew that he saw me and Debbie going in the direction of the red roller coaster and he went in the same direction with the woman. I tightened my arm around Debbie’s shoulder and together we headed to the red speed monster. Suddenly Jarod was standing in front of me, looking a little surprised, but greeting Debbie and I.

“Hello, Jarod,” I said dryly not looking into his eyes. I felt Debbie studying me now, probably waiting for me to introduce them. When she looked into my eyes with a questioning look, I just nodded and she understood what was happening. All the fun and happiness left her face and she nodded back in agreement.

We just stood there opposite Jarod and the woman he had on his arm, she didn’t seem to care who we were and hadn’t even said hello; she just stood there licking her ice cream. The vanilla nearly dripped on her fingers and Debbie gave me a second nod before she took a big step forward and *accidentally* crushed into the woman, causing the ice cream to drop on her blouse. Poor woman. I had to control myself to not start laughing.

“You dumb girl, didn’t you look before taking a step?”

“I looked, but you were standing in my way,” Debbie stated bravely.

“You retarded…”

I got in front of her, shifting Debbie out of the way and not looking at Jarod, I grabbed her by her collar and lifted her a little so that she had to look into my eyes. “Did your mother teach you to use words like that?” I asked her. “If I were you, I would apologize to her for what you just said.” I told her, so loud that I was sure the people around heard it.

Jarod didn’t say a word or do anything to help the woman he was with or Debbie and me, but what had I expected? That this male would be honest with me? Should I start crying or laughing now? I felt the overwhelming feeling that I would need to cry soon. The Ice Queen was back. Jarod’s look could have killed me, but I resisted because I was the Ice Queen again and that was his fault. It was the first time that I couldn’t blame Mr. Parker for it, the first time in over thirty years. But I said nothing, I only smiled at him, the coldhearted smile he hated so much, but deserved now.

“Debbie, honey, do you want to ride on the roller coaster? You know I can’t do it because of my belly, but I am sure that you will have a lot of fun without me.”

“Thanks, Mary,” she said and I felt Jarod’s eyes on me when she said my first name. “It would be more fun with you, but I am sure that I am old enough to entertain myself for a couple of minutes and you’ll hear me screaming, won’t you?” she asked, giggling.

“I will, nobody can miss your screaming, sweetie.”

Every pet name I used for Debbie hurt Jarod a bit. He should feel the same pain that I do, feel the same broken heart. I wanted to torture him.

“Jarod, I will see if I can find some club soda, so that your girlfriend’s blouse won’t be ruined.”

I didn’t give him time to answer; I just went into the coffee shop next to us and asked for club soda and thank God, they had it. I am not sure what I would have done if there hadn’t been any.

When I came back with the club soda in my hand, Debbie was waiting for me. I handed the girl the club soda and walked away with Debbie, who asked me if we could go to one of the shooting booths.

I told her yes and we walked over to one of the booths. In spite of the manipulated gun, I won two teddies and a red plastic rose for her. She was really amused when the guy working at the d asd asked me how I’d done it and I explained that the secret is to aim at the victim and pull the trigger at the right moment. He looked at me stunned; we thanked him for being so nice and walked away.

It was fun, real fun and I had nearly forgotten the plague of the day, but he crossed our path again. He stood next to me, not saying a word as Debbie came back with a photo, which had been made on the ghost train – we were both in it, screaming, yelling and having fun.

Debbie noticed that slut of Zoe standing in the row to get on the ‘Millennium Jumper”. I knew that Debbie knew Jarod and I wondered why she hadn’t said hello, she hadn’t even acknowledged him. She was standing next to me like she didn’t know him, acting like he was a stranger.

“Can I go?” she asked me sweetly and I nodded in agreement knowing that she was doing it for me.

The moment Debbie and Zoe were out of sight, Jarod grabbed my arm hard.

“What is going on, Parker?” he nagged at me and I was a little surprised, at least I tried to act like it.

“What do you want from me?” I asked him like nothing had ever happened between us.

“I mean… why are you here at all?”

“Jarod, do you know how lucky you are that I left my gun at home because of Debbie? If I had it with me... let go of my arm!”

He wouldn’t let go and I got even more frustrated. I didn’t want to yell at him, I didn’t want to make a scene, but I couldn’t let him play games with me like this, not if he really loves me like he told me that night we spent together.

“So, you would shoot me?”

“No, I wouldn’t shoot you Jarod, you know that. I would take you back to Raines so that I could live my own life – my life!” I realized that I was yelling and it sounded bad, even to me, the person who nearly got an award for yelling at Broots.

“I thought I knew you, Parker,” he pressed his nails a little more into my wrist. I couldn’t believe that he was doing this, not Jarod.

“I am the person I was made to be, Jarod, you should know that.”

“Parker, don’t be stupid.”

I’d had enough, so I kicked him hard in his shin with the toe of my sneakers and I could see that it hurt.

Suddenly I saw Debbie getting out of the Jumper and that bitch was behind her, not talking to her, just walking behind her. I had to change the tactic. ‘Parker, think.’

Suddenly, I pressed my lips against his and let my tongue glide into his mouth. I pulled his tongue into my mouth and suck hard on it. His hand had, don’t ask me when, wandered up and cupped my breast – and I let him do it. My hand grabbed his awakening crotch hard. My eyes were open, his closed and when I saw Zoe and Debbie standing next to me, I stopped and pushed him away from me.

Debbie and I had to just exchange a little look to know what was going on and she smiled at me. She was such a little woman, a girl with such a heart.

We went to another roller coaster, a shorter one and after a short discussion; I agreed to go on the ride with her. When it was over, I felt my stomach lurching a little and I didn’t want to take my medicine in front of Debbie, so I told her that I had to go to the ladies room.

I stepped into the room, splashed some cold water on my face with and took my medicine and before I left, I decided to go to the toilet.

When I came out of the cubicle, Jarod was standing in front of me. “You are such a bitch, Parker,” he yelled at me in an aggressive tone, which was unusual for him.

“What do you want from me?” I asked him.

“Why do you act like a bitch? Why did you turn into such a bitch?”

I went to the door to go out, leaving him standing there alone, but not without saying something of my own. “I am what they made me…. and by the way, the real bitch is you, Jarod.” Before I stepped completely out of the room, I added, “At least I don’t betray my lovers.” I said, tears were in my eyes, but I was determined not to let him know how much the whole situation upset me.

I let the door close and walked away. He didn’t follow me, which was good because I had to stop behind at the end of the hallway to let my tears fall. It was really too much, even for a person who is used to hard and unbelievable things like I am.


+++++

Debbie told me that she was tired after 2 more hours of riding the most craziest things I have ever seen and letting the photographer take tons of photos - laughing together, cuddling together, while screaming our lungs out – photos to remind me that I’d had a good time once in my life.

“Do you know what he is, Mary? He is the biggest asshole in the world for betraying you!”

I looked at her, sipped on my soda water and started to smile. “You are right, Deb, more than right.”

We both giggled softly.

‘When is she going to bed? I need a drink and I don’t want to drink in front of her.’

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, Mary.”

“Don’t say stuff like that to me, you’ll make me blush,” and I am sure I did it the minute I said that.

“But you are, look at you.” She was sitting next to me on the floor in front of the fireplace and she shifted a little more in my direction.

“You have the most amazing warm eyes and believe me, Mary, that they aren’t as cold as you want them to be. They tell me that you love him with all your heart and that inside you’re fighting against it, because you think that there’s no future because of your job and his connection to the Centre.”

“Debbie, he is my job.”

She didn’t answer, just went on like I hadn’t said anything. “And look at your gorgeous, sexy body – you can wear whatever you want and you look fantastic. Every other woman dreams of that, of the chance to change into different personalities, like you do.”

“What do you mean by that, Debbie?” I asked her, I couldn’t believe what she’d just said. Had she really saw through me, saw the real *me* behind the well-hidden facade. I had built up this facade very carefully, not letting anybody invade or destroy it - and now in less a month, two people had broken through it.

“I mean that today you are a different person than you are when you’re at work or when Daddy is with us. Today you are Mary, like you said and not Parker. Parker is the hard one, who is a little masochistic and tries to control everything. But Mary, Mary is different. Mary likes to be comforted, likes to hear nice words and listens much better than Parker. Mary loves to laugh and Parker hardly ever smiles. But when it comes to this man…. for this man you are both in one and it’s just for Jarod. For him you have the cold eyes and an icy facade, a warm hug and a loving smile.”

“Thanks for analyzing me, honey.” I said softly, not believing that I had even heard these words coming out of the mouth of a 12 year-old girl whom I thought would only like the nice part of me.

“But you have to decide who you want to be because both aren’t working together. If you want to be both, you will lose everything and also faith in yourself and I know that this is the central thing for you.”

And she was right here. Faith in myself was the only thing I had right now. I had lost everything more than once and I couldn’t let it happen again.

I just nodded in agreement and we finished our Chinese food within twenty minutes of giggling and me asking her about her love life.

It was around eleven when she told me that she was tired and wanted to go to bed. I smiled a little – now I would to be able to drink something.

“I’ll show you to your bedroom.” I told her and we went upstairs together. I gave her the room next to mine. Without saying any more, she climbed into the bed, I kissed her good night on her forehead, leaving the door a little open, which she asked me to do it because she couldn’t sleep in complete darkness. That was very familiar to me.

I was sure that she’d fall asleep quickly; she’d nearly did it twice while we were eating. It had been a long and exciting day for both of us.

+++++

I stood in front of the fridge in my black silk pajamas. I took out the bottle of Vodka, some ice cream and a bottle of chocolate syrup – my newest calorie habit, which was all Jarod’s fault. It was a really bad one, I had gained nearly 4 pounds and I had to blame something or somebody for it, so I blamed Jarod.

I decided to have a drink before going upstairs so I poured some of the vodka into a glass and drank it down quickly. I had missed the sensation, which started a second later, the warm feeling from inside. The comforting feeling of being braver than before. After two more glasses, I told myself aloud that it was now time to go to bed.

Now I was that person again, the one other people wanted to see in me – not the person I really was, not the person Debbie and Jarod knew.

I made my way to the stairs and climbed them slowly. I walked into my room, leaving the door wide open. I didn’t even turn the light on; I didn’t want to see my reflection in the glass. I was broken, I was once again the person they’d created and I decided to wear her outfit, to act like her and be the person they wanted me to be. They had never asked who I really was or if I liked the role they had given me to play in their silly game of arbitrary power and effacement of souls. I had become one of their actors and they were writing the scripts. They were leading me into new cases, cases I knew were senseless trying to solve.

I was standing there at the window, the ice cream and chocolate syrup on the table, my good old friend in my hand. I stood there for minutes just watching the raindrops fall.

Unexpectedly, I felt a warm arm around my waist and the other one taking the bottle out of my hand, when the bottle was out of the way, the second hand rested next to the other on my flat belly. I just stood there, motionless. Not moving, not breathing– I just stood there frozen.

”Let me go, Jarod.” was the only thing I could manage to get out. But he didn’t, so I got a little more direct and tried to free myself of this embrace. Instead of letting me go, he held me tighter.

I started to yell at him now. “You son of a bitch, get your hands off me now!”

Somehow, I managed to turn around, but that was the worst thing I could have done. I had to face him now and in a moment of lost control, he started to kiss me hard, harder than ever before, harder than I have ever been kissed. Practically eating me alive.

I tried to free myself, but his arms were now around my back, my hands between us, my fists pressed against his chest. I tried to push against him, but nothing worked. I kicked and beat him as much as I could and as hard as I could, but he backed me into the wall. I couldn’t move or even breathe and I asked myself why I was kissing him back while I was fighting against him. It was an open mouthed kiss and wetter than ever before. I felt one of his hands against my breasts unbuttoning my top, while the other pinned me against the wall with my wrists held over my head. I couldn’t move because he was too strong for me. His male power was just overwhelming. I tried to get in control, but it didn’t work and I just couldn’t stop kissing him back. Our tongues were involved in a battle, each of us fighting for control of the kiss.

Then my pajama top was unbuttoned and opened enough to make him lose attention in holding my wrists above my head and that’s when I should have kicked him in his crotch, but I couldn’t. It was Jarod who was sucking my nipples until they ached and I couldn’t stop moaning his name. And it was his fingers that worked my pants down until they were lying around my ankles. When he came back to my mouth and his lips touched mine again, I felt his horse-like erection pressing against my belly. I don’t know what aroused me more – his hand between my legs or his big erection waiting to be released. Somehow I unbuckled his belt, worked the jeans down and the turtleneck over his head. I have no idea how we did it, but we managed to kiss the whole time. Now we were standing there naked, both more than aroused and in a moment, I felt his big erection gliding into me. I drew in a sharp breath, but there wasn’t any pain this time, not like the first time he had done it.

I was still begging him to stop, even though I didn’t really want him to stop, but Jarod didn’t seem to care at all. Every time I asked him to stop, he would press on my clit a little harder. Every time I said, “Please stop, Jarod”, he pushed me harder into the wall and made me moan louder than I wanted to.

Suddenly, as if in reflex, my right leg swung around his hip, my back pressing against the wall and my hands clutching his shoulders. It wasn’t easy to stay calm with him inside me and it was even harder when the silk pajama jacket joined the pants and he lifted me up. I couldn’t believe that he had the strength to hold me up like that. I linked my ankles together behind his back and tried to keep my grip on his shoulders, but I nearly lost the grip more than once.

He started slowly pushing me into the wall. This was a new position for me; nobody had ever had the strength to fuck me this way, but Jarod had it, like he had so many things former lovers didn’t have. Those lips, those eyes – Oh God – I could lose myself in them. And his way of telling me what I needed to hear was special and alot of men had said nice words to me. But Jarod was different, it wasn’t only saying nice things to me, it was saying exactly what I needed to hear, what made me feel like a woman again.

He pushed me against the wall, one hand around my back, the other against the wall. There was a little pain in my back from being pushed against the wall and the sensation of feeling him inside me was overwhelming. I knew that it wouldn’t last long, not this time. We were both too close.

Before one of us had the chance to come, he shifted us to the bed. I didn’t even realize we had moved until my back hit the soft mattress, but the fact that we weren’t making love this time, we were just fucking, was clear; he did me very fast. Suddenly I was on top and finally in control. I decided to torture him a little and I stopped moving, contracting my muscles, squeezing his shaft, which was buried deep inside me. His eyes shot open and he moaned loudly, clutching my hips and trying to lift me to start the rhythm again. I shook my head and gave him a wicked grin, contracting my muscles around him again. Suddenly, he sat up, burying himself deeper inside me then he lowered me to the bed and started to thrust into me, faster and harder. I moaned loudly, digging my nails into his back and leaving scratches. I knew we wouldn’t last long.

And just like I thought, it didn’t last long. We both orgasmed simultaneously and if I thought that I’d had an orgasm before, I was more than wrong. I didn’t pass out this time, but it ripped through me, my body jerking and convulsing, my inner muscles gripping his shaft and squeezing every drop out of him. It lasted for a few minutes and even when he hugged me tight and pressed me against his chest, the shaking of my body didn’t stop.

+++++

A couple of minutes later, I freed myself from his embrace and lay next to him, still breathing hard and covered with sweat. I still couldn’t believe that we had done it again, not after everything that had happened today, not after seeing him with that bitch of Zoe. But now here I was, lying next to him.

“I didn’t want to force you, Mary,” he said, blaming himself for letting it go that far tonight. I was still a little shocked on one hand from the orgasm that had rocked through me and on the other that we had done it at all. I wanted to be angry with him, wanted to hate him – and let him know that.

I didn’t say anything. His head was resting on his elbow and he was looking down into my eyes, trying to read my mind – what was going on inside me. I suddenly started to cry. I couldn’t believe that I did that, that I let him see how much he had hurt me today, all the pain he’d caused me. Without saying a word or anything else I let him hug me, let myself feel the warmth of his body, comforting myself at least a little after all that happened today.

We started to cuddle a little and he started to kiss me again, but not like earlier that night, this time it was sweet and soft and the tears stopped running down my cheeks.

“I can’t believe what I did to you, Mary,” he said and I saw tears in his eyes now. I pressed his head to my chest, rocking him softly and I understood that it was as hard and unbelievable for him as it was for me.

“She’s only a friend, Mary, nothing more than a friend,” he told me and I believed him.

He stroked some wet hair out of my face and looked deeply into my eyes. “What would I be without you? The clock wouldn’t stop, but each day would go on just the same… there would still be air to breathe…. it wouldn’t stop the sun and rain… but baby, there would be just no living without loving you… How would I survive? It would be like living without being alive!”

I smiled at him and he was right. We both would have been killed earlier in this life if we didn’t feel this way for each other, hadn’t felt this power for years.

I rested my head on his hairy chest, cuddling close to him and listening to his heart beating. He held me gently, our legs entwined together.


+++++

I woke up alone in my bed, but the place next to me was still warm. Slowly and feeling quite sore, I sat up, grabbed my robe from the chair and went downstairs to the kitchen where I could hear noises coming from.

I stood in the door to the kitchen looking at the mess. Jarod and Debbie had tried to make breakfast and had wound up making a huge mess. Flour, broken eggs and sugar was all over the floor. I smiled at them, not saying a word. Why should I disturb their little reunion? I just stood there watching them having fun.

When they noticed me standing there, they grinned shamefully at me and a moment later, showed me their creations – they had tried to make pancakes that looked like animals.

It looked like they’d had a good time together and that was very important, not only for me, also for Jarod to be able to tell and show her that he was sorry for what had happened yesterday.

Jarod came over and kissed me softly, not touching me in front of Debbie, just placing a soft kiss on my lips. Debbie giggled and I pushed him gently from me to see her grinning from ear to ear. I haven’t seen her that happy before – and she was happy for me.

We ate breakfast together and they both tried to feed me, which was a really bad idea because my robe was a mess and so were the parts of my body not covered by the robe. I had marmalade and pancake syrup all over me. Hell, it was a mess. After the pancakes, they tried to feed me with pieces of fruit and I must have looked like I’d been painted after that. I was sticky all over.

When the phone rang, Debbie held it to my ear because my hands were too sticky to hold it. It was Broots wanting to know when I would bring Debbie back because it was already after 12. I couldn’t believe that it was that late and told him that I would bring her soon. I am sure that he could hear her and Jarod giggling in the background.

We finished breakfast and I decided that it was time to shower, even for Debbie who looked a little too much like a piece of chocolate now after I’d fed her with chocolate syrup.

+++++

Jarod showered with me, but we didn’t have sex this time. He just helped me clean the stickiness from my body.

Everybody in fresh clothes, we decided that it was time for Debbie to go home. She said goodbye to Jarod with a grin on her lips.

The car drive was silent, just the CD playing. Not a word from Debbie until we reached Broots’ house.

“Why did it take you so long to let him know that you love him?” she asked me.

“Well… Debbie, my life has never been easy and we both knew that it would complicate things.”

“But Jarod told me that he fell in love with you the first time him he saw you.”

I grinned sheepishly. “I did too, but it couldn’t be, it couldn’t happen before. We were both too afraid.” I looked at her. “Afraid that the other one didn’t love us, afraid to lose the other one.” She looked at me, not saying a word. “I was afraid to tell him how I felt because I didn’t know if I could take it if he told me that he didn’t feel the same way.”

She nodded in agreement.

“You know, Mary, you mean a lot to me.”

I smiled at Debbie, thankful for her admission. It meant a lot to me. “You also mean a lot to me, Debbie.”

“But you have to decide what you want, Mary. It can’t go on like this for long. You will not be able to life two lives forever and I really hope that you make the right decision and choose a life with him, not the one others created have for you.”

“I know, Debbie.”

“You have played the Ice Queen for a very long time and impressed many people with it, but never Jarod. He was always there for you, so be there for him now.”

“I will be there for him, always and forever.” I said not looking at her; it was too hard to hear the truth out of her mouth. She knew me pretty well.

She hugged me and I kissed her on her forehead, telling her to take care. She got out of the car, heading to her father who was standing there watching us.

I greeted him with a grin and pulled the car back onto the street. Debbie was so right, I had to decide which life I wanted to live, which *me* was the one I needed to be.

I had to decide and I had to do it soon.


~~ END ~~

Feedback *begging for*: mary_eve_parker@yahoo.com


Tiff’s challenge:
• Miss Parker takes Broots girl to an amusement park – CHECK
• They run there into Jarod with none other than Zoe – CHECK
• Include following things:
o Ice Cream Cone – CHECK
o Cotton Candy – CHECK
o Roller Coaster – CHECK
o Club Soda (Stain Remover) – CHECK
o Chocolate Syrup – CHECK
o Ladies Room – CHECK