Guilty Pleasures

Title: Guilty Pleasures
Author: Barb

Summary: An innocent evening with Harm and Mac turns out to be so much more

Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Harm/Mac

Disclaimer: I don’t own JAG and make no money off this. JAG characters belong to DPB, Belisarius Productions, CBS and Paramount.

Friday Night
Mac’s Apartment
Georgetown

Mac and I have just finished a celebratory dinner in honor of our big win in court this afternoon. Too tired after the long week to get dressed up and go to a restaurant, we decide to make a quiet night of it and order some fancy carry out instead. After we eat, I clear the table and make quick work of the dishes, bringing them into the kitchen, while Mac rinses them and loads them into the dishwasher. We’re a great team; always have been, not to be unexpected after 9 years of working closely together. We work silently, knowing without words what needs to be done. Just like when she starts my sentences and I finish hers.

I think back on how our relationship has grown more solid in the last several months. We’re more trusting lately, ever since the dining out when we had a long talk about us and something finally clicked. Now we’ve become more synchronous, thinking alike and often doing things before the other gets the chance. Since that time we’ve formed a firmer bond, a better understanding of each other’s needs. I know Mac has had a rough time over the last year and I try to give her the space she needs while making sure she knows I will be there when she needs me. Tonight we just want to be together.

The dishes are stowed away and we decide to take a brisk walk, which we desperately need after all the food we ate. We both feel the need to get some exercise; otherwise we’ll just wind up in a heap on the couch not being able to move. I laugh to myself thinking about the amount of food Mac is able to pack away in one sitting. We return some time later refreshed from the crisp outside air, our cheeks a little wind burned and rosy. As if we need it after all we ate, Mac can’t do without her dessert. She goes to the freezer and pulls out a pint of ice cream and we make mini sundaes complete with sliced bananas, chocolate syrup, nuts, cherries and whipped cream.

After we’re finished Mac excuses herself and goes to her bedroom to change her clothes, which I’ve grown accustomed to as we’ve become more comfortable with each other. She returns a short time later wearing her favorite long sleeved T-shirt, faded and worn from many washings, and a pair of socks and the green dinosaur slippers I got her last year as a gag for Christmas. She looks absolutely adorable.

We settle on the couch, Mac sitting close to me, and I turn on the TV, taking the remote and mindlessly surfing through the channels until Mac stops me. There’s a barbecue cook-off on the Food Channel that caught her eye. How she can think of food after all we’ve eaten is beyond me, but I don’t watch too much TV anyway, so I don’t mind as long as I’m here watching with her.

Slowly Mac inches her way closer to me until she’s finally brushing her body against mine, her legs coming to curl up under her. She shivers slightly and I put my arm around her, pulling her closer and rubbing my hand up and down her arm, until she’s resting her head against my chest with her arm around my waist. I don’t think anything of it really, it’s not like we haven’t found ourselves in this position more and more lately. I don’t mind a bit.

The food has started going to my brain and I find myself slowly dozing off. I can feel that Mac’s breathing is slowing also as sleep starts to take her. I look down and run my hand over her hair and down her back. I lightly kiss the top of her head, not wanting to wake her up. “I love you, my sweet, Mac,” I say just before sleep claims me too.

Out of nowhere, Mac looks up and tells me how long she’s been waiting to find out what I taste like as she runs her hand over my crotch, obviously pleased with my growing erection. Eagerly, she unzips me and goes to her knees; she takes my cock into her hand and brings me to her lips, tasting me for the first time. I gasp at the feel of her hot, moist mouth on me, and I moan, resisting the urge to thrust deeper into her. Before long she is begging me to make love to her and I oblige, slipping into her and thrusting in and out as she calls my name over and over, encouraging me. The pressure is building and I want to come inside her, she feels so wet and tight. The moaning is getting louder, just a few more strokes. Mmmm, yeah. I’m almost there….

Suddenly my eyes fly open and I’m awake. RED ALERT, RED ALERT!

I realize where I am, in Mac’s apartment, on her couch. I look down slowly and am shocked by what I see. Somehow Mac is laid out on the couch facing me with her head in my lap, her mouth precariously close to my crotch. I’m afraid to move. The moans, it turns out, are coming from her, and she’s nuzzling against the whisper thin fabric of my pants. To make matters worse, I’ve got my hand on her thigh, my middle finger having found its way under her panties. I’m brushing her curls and slowly searching for her center, my thumb caressing the silky outside. Stop! I think to myself as my heart starts to pound out of my chest.

This isn’t a dream! I don’t know what to do. If I stop or move the wrong way, I might wake her up. And if she sees what she’s doing to me she’ll die of embarrassment, and so will I. She may never talk to me again. Oh God.

I try to get a hold of myself and think rationally, but I can’t. I look down and Mac moves her mouth over my erection and nips the length of it with her teeth. I almost jump up in response but a small groan escapes me as I squeeze my eyes shut and bite my lip. I’m getting hard. Okay, I’m already hard. It didn’t take much, considering I haven’t been with a woman since I can’t remember when. It’s only natural, right? Right.

Unconsciously, my finger seeks and finds its target. Mmm, she’s wet, and that just makes me more aroused, if that’s possible. My cock is starting to strain against the fabric as I dip my finger into her wetness and up to Mac’s clit several times. I’m rewarded with another moan and a small thrust of her hips.

I’m so turned on, but at the same time I feel like some horny teenager getting his first feel. To make matters worse, Mac is asleep and I feel like I’m taking advantage of her. I have to stop this. I pull my hand out slowly from under her panties and she moans her disappointment.

To my surprise, Mac starts running her hand over my erection, kneading me, then works her way up to my abdomen and reaches down to pull at my pants, which thankfully have an elastic waistband. I should stop this but instead I hold still, willing her to release me and take me into her mouth. I want it. I want her. I help her a little, and now I’m free. I push my cock forward with my hand, closer to her mouth, and she reaches out to touch the tip with her tongue to lick the precum that’s accumulated there. I think I’m going to die. I feel so guilty, but I can’t stop, it feels so good. Mac swirls her tongue over the head of my cock and takes me into her mouth. She moans, and the vibration it makes nearly does me in.

I see Mac open her eyes and I hold my breath. She looks up at me drowsily with those deep brown eyes and I want to explain before she reacts, but I’m not capable of saying anything. What I see in her eyes is not embarrassment or disgust; instead, it’s a look that I’ve never seen before. Twinkling, mischievous, and it encourages me. She moves her hand up my chest and to the back of my neck, where she starts to pull me down and I understand what she wants.

I lean over and come face to face with her panties, slipping both thumbs under the waistband and sliding them off her, tossing them over the end of the couch. Mac puts her hand on my back, pushing me down where she wants me to go, and I go eagerly. I flick my tongue over her clit and work my way down, then thrust up inside her, lapping up the moisture pooled there. Mac moans and spreads her legs wider for easier access. She’s so wet and smells so good I could stay here forever. I start to work my tongue expertly from top to bottom, licking, sucking, nipping her while she strokes me at the same time.

I adjust my body so that I’m on my back and pull her on top, spreading her legs and then her lips. I continue to lick her feverishly while slowly caressing and kneading her ass. Mac is stroking me and sucking me, then reaches down and gives my balls a little squeeze that makes me grunt loudly and almost sends me over the edge. There’s nothing like sucking and being sucked at the same time, but at this rate it’s going to be over way too soon. I have to slow things down.

Mac is panting so hard she has to stop sucking me so she can breathe, but she manages small licks around the head of my cock. She starts bucking against my mouth slowly at first, then the tempo increases until she loses the rhythm of her thrusts. I know that she’s really close. “Easy, Tiger. Let me do this,” I say as I rub my hands up her legs. She slows down and starts working with me, letting me draw out her pleasure. I pick up the pace, never relenting or easing the pressure to her clit as I press a couple of fingers inside her. I can feel her whole body tighten as she starts to come, her internal muscles clenching me while she’s gasping my name.

As soon as Mac comes down from the cloud she is on, she renews her ministrations to my cock. By now, the head is dripping with precum in a thin line that reaches to my stomach. She licks it and then me, taking me fully in her mouth, swirling the head with her tongue as she works the length of me, stroking the base with her hand. I’m getting dangerously close now, and part of me wants her to finish me with her mouth, but the other part wants to be buried deep inside her.

“Mac,” is all I can manage to squeak out as I pull her hips toward me. With one last lick she reluctantly releases me and moves so I can sit up and she straddles me, guiding the tip to her entrance. She slowly impales herself on my cock, a strangled cry coming from both of us at the feeling. Face to face now, we lean in and meet for a searing kiss, our tongues swirling and exploring, neither of us minding that we taste like each other.

Mac starts to move slowly, torturing me. In turn I reach for her breasts through the fabric of her nightshirt and rub my thumbs over her nipples, eliciting a groan of pleasure. Neither of us can take it any more and we start moving, working in tandem at first, but quickly we spiral out of control. Mac grips my shoulders and I’m holding her waist, thrusting wildly when Mac arches her back and comes hard. I can feel her muscles spasm around me, gripping me, and it sends me into oblivion, pulsing into her for what feels like eternity.

We’re both panting now, holding each other tightly until our breathing becomes more even. I look at Mac and I love her so much at this moment I want to tell her so, but that’s not what comes out of my mouth.

“I’m sorry,” I say. Mac, who was absolutely glowing seconds ago, visibly deflates before my eyes. She starts to lift herself off me, and I realize what I just said. That’s not what I meant! I grab her and hold on to her and she starts to struggle with me.

“No, Mac, I’m not….I’m not sorry about this. That’s not what I meant. Please,” I plead. She stops struggling, but won’t look me in the eye.

“I’ve waited for this for so long, I can never be sorry, Mac. I’m just sorry I acted like a….I just wanted it to be…..perfect. I wanted to do this right our first time, but I just lost control.”

Mac smiles at that, me losing control. “You’re acknowledging my power over you, you know.”

“Mac, you’ve wielded your power over me since the day we met,” I admit.

“Then why did it take us so long to get to this point?” she asks me.

I shrug. “I don’t know; I was sleeping when this whole thing started. Maybe my subconscious mind knows better than I do what’s best for me.”

“I was asleep too. Maybe we should listen to our subconscious more often,” she says with a sassy smile.

I move in for a kiss, working my hands up Mac’s back. I can still feel myself inside her and I never want to leave this place, but she starts to protest as her knees start to hurt, it’s time for her to get up and I help her stand. I chuckle as I realize she still has her green dinosaur slippers on.

I reach for Mac’s hand and lead her toward the bathroom where she turns on the shower. She hands me an extra toothbrush and squirts a blob of toothpaste on the end, and we brush our teeth side by side.

Mac steps into the shower and I follow her. She reaches for the shampoo, but I stop her. This is where I take over. I work the shampoo into her hair, massaging her scalp, while showering her with little kisses over her chin, neck and shoulder, then rinse. I can tell she likes this because she closes her eyes and lets out an appreciative sigh.

I take her shower sponge and squeeze a liberal amount of body wash on it, and proceed to wash her body slowly and lovingly, being careful not to miss a spot. She watches me intently. While she rinses she also watches as I wash myself, and then she turns the water off.

I grab a large towel that I had draped over the shower rod and wipe her face first, then towel her hair lightly. I wrap her tightly in the towel, giving her a tight squeeze, and proceed to dry her off, inch by beautiful inch. After we step out, Mac faces the mirror and I stand behind her. I pick up her comb and run it through her hair while I kiss the back of her neck and her shoulders.

Leading her into the bedroom I take her nightshirt off the bed and stand facing her. She lifts her hands as I work the opening over her head and she puts her hands through the long sleeves, letting the rest of the fabric run down to her mid-thigh.

I bend to turn the covers down from the bed and she gets under the sheets. Going back into the bathroom I finish toweling off, then turn out the light and turn to see Mac bathed in the glow of the moon shining brightly through the window blinds. She pulls the sheet back and runs her hand over the mattress in silent invitation. I lie down next to her and pull the sheet up over us.

We are both tired and sated, and slowly our breathing becomes slower. Just before I drift off to sleep, I hear a quiet whisper, “I love you too.”