Speak Only Truth

Title: Speak Only Truth

Author: BuffyAngel68

e-mail: buffyangel68@yahoo.com

Rating: PG-13 this chapter. NC-17 from there on.

Category: Humor, An Fir First Time, Romance

Summary: Clark has doubts about certain aspects of his future. His limited pool of confidantes all prove reluctant and frustrating so his search for answers eventually leads him to Lex's doorstep.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, much as I wish they were mine to keep and cuddle, and I make no money off the use of the characters. Kay? Kay.

Notes: For some reason, I decided to do opening pieces like an old radio show might have had. I personally think they create ambiance. (Quirky is a nice word for me. Get over it, okay? lol) I realize that you never would have found anything like THIS on the radio in the thirties and forties. It's also my first Smallville piece. Please be kind. Constructive criticism gratefully accepted.

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"Dad...."

"I'm sorry, son. I'd really like to help.... I just can't."

"I need to talk about this, dad. I need to understand..... You can't tell me you didn't know this would come up eventually."

Jonathan sighed, laid down the engine part he was trying to fix and wiped his hands before turning to Clark who perched on a crate a few feet behind him.

"Of course I did. I should've sat you down and talked to you years ago, but.... telling you all the normal, clichéd facts about sex just... didn't seem like enough. I'd start out with the best intentions. This time I won't be afraid. This time I won't let my reservat mak make me back off. They always did, though. I kept wishing I could tell you what to expect, what surprises your special nature might throw at you.... I knew you'd be expecting me to have all the answers. I didn't and it made me mad at myself and mad at your real parents, wherever they were, for not sending an instruction book with the damn ship...."

"They're not to blame, dad, and neither are you. If it'll make you feel better, between health class and... other sources, I've managed to pick up the basics on my own."

"Other sources? Should I ask?"

"Definitely not."

"I appreciate the warning. For the record, it doesn't ease my mind one little bit."

"I understand how everything works. That doesn't mean I've done anything yet."

"Thank God for that. You are asking about your abilities, then."

"Yeah. I mean... I know you don't have facts and figures. How about opinions?"

Jonathan winced slightly and dropped his eyes to the floor briefly before looking at Clark again.

"On what, specifically?"

"Well.... like, when I... the first time I.... do you think my strength.... I guess what I'm asking is can I even wear a condom or would it end up vaporized when I.... you know? And if I can't...."

"Whoa, Clark.... can we start with something a little easier?"

"They don't get any easier."

"Okayyy. You used the phrase 'the first time'. Can I assume that means there hasn't been any.... private investigation? No practice runs... when you know nobody else is around.... just to satisfy your curiosity?"

"Practice.... you mean.... you mean have I.... "

Blushing a vibrant shade of scarlet from his collar up beyond his hairline, Clark sudy roy rose to his feet and began backing out of the barn. "Ummm.... I was wrong, dad. I'm really sorry. I can't talk about this.... not with you anyway...."

As soon as his son vanished around the corner, Jonathan Kent allowed his head to fall into his hands and breathed a deep sigh of relief.

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"Mom?"

"In the living room. Hi, Clark. I thought you had plans with Pete this afternoon."

"I do, but not 'till later. Can we... talk?"

"Of course. Sit."

Martha moti her her son to a spot beside her on the couch and continued organizing the paperwork before her.

"Is that LuthorCorp stuff?"

"For once, no. It's recipes. You know me, I can keep anything in the world under control except for this. I decided it was finally time to get them all together and do something with them. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well... it's kinda.... awkward. More like embarrassing."

"You sure you don't want to talk to your father? He's always been better at that kind of thing than I am."

"I tried. It... didn't work out so great."

Martha's hands stilled and she drew and expelled a deep breath. Slowly, she placed the sheet she held back on the table and turned to face Clark, knowing that anything too thorny for steady, wise, capable Jonathan was going to require her full attention.

"I'm listening. Go ahead."

"I... I need to talk about sex, mom."

Martha paled slightly, but regained her composure in a few seconds.

"Sex. Alright. What is it you have questions about?"

"I know the important parts. I'm wondering about me, specifically. Just to save time, you don't wanna know *how* I know the important parts, I haven't actually tried anything with anybody including myself and I realize you can't give me any information you don't have. I'm interested in what you think."

"Think? Clark.... I'm not sure quite what to think. I've always said that the one ability you never had to master was keeping me off balance. You've had that down to a science since day one...."

"I'm sorry, mom. There are just so many blank spaces.... I didn't meanupseupset you."

"You didn't, honey. It's just.... I'm as confused as you are. Ask your questions anyway. Let's see if we can figure things out together."

"The best part of sex is supposed to be letting go with somebody, right? Just giving up all your control at the last second.... but I can't do that. If I forget how strong I am, even for that one moment.... I could really hurt someone."

"You could.... but you wou't. 't. Never. At this point keeping your strength in check is sd nad nature to you. I can't believe that even intense passion would make you forget. Besides, making love isn't about giving up anything, including control. That sounds as if you're being forced into it against your will. It should be about giving *to* the other person because you want to."

"So.... okay. If I'm gonna have to stay in control, does that mean I always have to be.... on top? I mean, I've heard... sometimes it's good the other way too...."

"Heard from who? Oh wait, don't tell me. You're right. I don't want or need to know."

"No, you really don't. So, back to the question..."

"Well.... there are so many ways to... Hold on. Why are you even thinking about this, Clark? You're only seventeen. You are planning to wait until you get married, aren't you? I know we haven't discussed the morals that pertain to sex, but maybe we should get into that before we get any further into the physical aspect...
Clark ark blanched and stood, backing away from his mother's ethics lecture as quickly as he had from his father's probe into intimate detail.

"Trust me, mom, I was just wondering. I haven't done anything and I'm not gonna do anything.... maybe not even *after* I get married... In fact.... I don't have to have sex at all.... ever..."

"Clark, wait..." Martha called, but too late. Her speedy son was already out the door. Shaking her head, her brow creased in fainrry,rry, she turned reluctantly back to the mountain of unorganized recipes waiting for her on the coffee table.

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"What?! Damn, Kent, what kinda question is that?"

"I'm not human, Pete. I can't judge for myself what normal is... I really need an answer, okay?"

{Here I thought picking a different question would make things better.} Clark thought. {Turns out it's the subject itself that's freaking everybody out..
"Cla"Clark.... c'mon, man... I can't tell you that!"

"Pete, I'm running out of people to ask about this. Only you, my mom and my dad know the truth about what I am."

"And you already asked them?"

"It was a complete and total ' I-can't-talk-to-my-parents-about-sex- ' mini-series event. Dad wanted way too much information and mom was ready to drag me to the nearest church and lock me in a confessional until I shut up and agreed to become a priest."

"I get the point, Clark, but still...."

"Just for a minute. I'm not asking for anything.... you know, weird. Just tell me about yours.... then look at mine and tell me if you think it looks... okay."

"Clark, man.... it's not like I ever measured mine or really looked at it or anything. I'm just not that curious yet.... I'm barely startin' to look at Playboy.... besides, I'm not givin' myself a complex. Forget it."

"Complex? What are you talking about?"

"You're at least four inches taller than me, Clark. It figures you're better off than me in every department. I'm not gonna feel bad about my.... about myself for the rest of my life, just cause you suddenly think your... you know what might be as alien as the rest of you. Man, I really, *really* need to stop talkin' about this. Can we get outta the woods and go to the movies now? Please?"

"I guess so. I didn't mean... I'm sorry, Pete. You're right. Let's go to the mov"
"

"Okay. You know, if there was only a scientist we could trust.... one that wouldn't lock you up in a cage or out you to the world. That's the person you should be askin' all these questions to. That's never gonna happen though..."

As Pete headed back to the truck, Clark lagged behind him, terrifying and contradictory thoughts running through his head.

{I can't.... not him.... but he's just what Pete said I needed: a scientist. I can't trust him.... I? I? I'd have to tell him everything.... if he exposed me my life would be over. No more school, I'd never see my parents again.... but.... I really think he cares about me too much to destroy me that way. Plus he's older.... experienced.... he can show me.... help me figure out whether I can.... whether I'm normal. He already knows I'm hiding something. He's known for a long time. If I don't tell him eventually.... I might lose him as a friend anyway.... there's really no other choice.... Lex is my only hope.}

"Clark! You comin' or are you just gonna stand there lookin' at the clouds all day? The movie starts in less than an hour."

"Huh? Yeah, Pete. I'm coming."

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THREE HOURS LATER: PETE'S HOME

"See you at school, Monday, Clark. Try to chill out a little about this sex thing, okay? We'll both get there in our own time. When you're ready, it'll happen. Then... you'll have all your answers. Go home and get some sleep."

"I will. Thanks, Pete. See you Monday."

Once Pete was in his house and the door closed behind him, Clark drove back to town and found a pay-phone.

"Lex? It's Clark. I... I just wanted to be sure you were home. We need to.... talk. Major? Yeah, you could say that. Beyond major in fact. No. I sound serious because I am. It's not about Chloe or Lana. It's not about school either. Lex, please.... Yes. I'm not that far away. Ten minutes? Okay. See you then."

uching tng the cut-off switch, Clark inserted more coins and dialed home.

"Mom? It's me. I might not be home tonight. The woods, maybe a quiet place by the water. I was thinking I'd run to Gotham City and back.... Okay, I'm kidding about that. I'll only go as far as Metropolis. Mom, relax. I'll stay close to home. I just need to be by myself. You know you don't have to worry. If anyone can take care of themselves, I can. I'll see you and dad at breakfast. No, you can't talk me out of it. Bye, mom."

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EIGHT MINUTES LATER

"Lex. You don't answer your own door."

"Tonight I do. Come in, Clark."

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TBC.....