Would You?

All previous disclaimers apply.

Author's Note: Please forgive that Artie is OOC. Extremely. And WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of attempted suicide. Please don't read if it isn't your thing! Happy reading. T.H.


"Kurt, would you be happier if we were out?"

Puck could close his eyes and see Kurt's face as they said goodnight the evening before. Kurt's eyes, hopeful and yet resigned as he answered quietly, "Of course I would be, Noah, but we don't live in a perfect world. We've already discussed this. It's too dangerous for you to come out of the closet with me right now. It's okay. Just a year and a half more and we'll be able to be whatever we want to be."

"But, what if I decided that I want to take the chance, Kurt? What if I don't want to fucking hide anymore? What if I don't care what other people say or do? What if the only thing I want is to be able to hold your hand whenever the hell I want to?"

Kurt had smiled at him happily before wrapping his arms around Noah's waist and laying his head against his chest, "It makes me happy just to hear you say that. I don't need anything else."

"What if I need something else?"

"If you need something else I'll be there. We'll clean each other off when we get slushied and I'll clean you up after you've had a fight. But don't feel pressure, Noah. I told you I'm satisfied with where we're at and I meant it. You do whatever you think will make you happiest. I'll back you up."

"Kurt, time to come in," Mr. Hummel had almost looked like he didn't hate Puck when he opened the door to get his son inside. He hadn't even winced to see Kurt's arms around Puck's waist under his letter jacket and Puck holding him close under the rough fabric and leather. They hadn't spoken at all during the television marathon, but it hadn't been as uncomfortable as any of them had expected. Puck liked to think that he and Mr. Hummel had come to an understanding. They both cared for Kurt more than anything in the world and they would put up with each other for his sake if for nothing else. But, they were also a lot alike. He had hopes that Burt Hummel would come to like him. Someday maybe.

"Coming, Dad," Kurt had tilted his head up, asking for a kiss that Puck had been more than happy to give, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Later," Puck had watched Kurt go back inside and had smiled all the way home to his empty, clean apartment. The misery had hit him after he'd gone to bed and he laid in the darkness fighting to keep his breathing steady. The ladies hadn't bothered to show up. They were perceptive, he thought, and knew that he wouldn't welcome Their company. But, there were little ways They tried to be there for him. He knew the little breeze in the room that settled the blanket over him was Them and just before he had fallen asleep he had sworn that he felt female hands running over his hair as someone hummed quietly in his ear and another rubbed his shoulders gently. Of course, that could have been a dream. He'd only been half awake. And, as nice as They were and as much as They seemed to like him, he wasn't sure that They would take such a personal interest in his distress. He realized when he got up that morning that that was bullshit and They did care. They'd made him breakfast. He wondered if the dishes would be done when he got home.

It was clear that Kurt hadn't actually thought he was serious about coming out the night before by the look on his face when Puck met him at his truck with a chaste kiss to Kurt's forehead that no one saw and walked into the school with his arm casually thrown over Kurt's shoulder. He tried not to do anything that would make Kurt uncomfortable, just in case he wasn't as ready as he thought to come out to the school with Puck as his boyfriend. Everything they did could have been construed as a close friendship. Puck only kept his arm on Kurt's shoulder until they got to Kurt's locker. He hung around while Kurt put away what he wouldn't need and gathered what he would and they walked to class side by side, their hands occasionally brushing. Puck sat down next to him in their shared history class and glared when the boy whose name he didn't even know approached the seat. The boy found another chair. Kurt gave him a confused look, but it didn't stop him from passing notes with Puck when they should have been paying attention. Puck walked Kurt to every class and ate lunch at the gleek table, something he had never done before. He was amazed when the glee kids had no reaction other than a couple of "it's about time" looks to the fact that he had joined them and the football players didn't say anything at all. He guessed they probably figured it was about time Puck joined the glee table anyway since he never seemed interested in their conversation anymore. He sat next to Kurt and couldn't keep the smile off of his face when Kurt linked their pinkies under the table, never pausing in his conversation with Mercedes, seated just opposite them. Finn gave him a strange look, but it was the first time he'd looked at Puck without hate in his eyes, so Puck didn't mind it at all. He was nearly asleep in his customary seat in the library at the beginning of his study hall when Artie finally approached.

"You really don't do subtle, do you, Puck?" Artie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No idea what you're talking about," Puck sighed and put his arms behind his head, closing his eyes.

"Oh," Artie snorted, "So, you don't think that the way you're hovering and fawning over Kurt isn't going to be a dead give away?"

"Am I really fawning?" Puck asked, not opening his eyes in an effort to seem relaxed and nonchalant.

"Naw," Artie admitted readily, "I guess I probably notice more because I watch you two more, but you are pretty noticeable. So…what's going on?"

"Kurt will be happier if we come out. So…we're going to come out. Thought I'd give people a day to get used to seeing us together before I start with the whole boyfriend deal."

"The whole boyfriend deal?" Artie asked, "What does that entail?"

"You know, holding hands, kissing, stuff like that…Fuck, Abrams, it's not like I'm going to bend him over a desk and fuck him in the middle of class." He cracked his eye open to see Artie's disgusted look and chuckled before closing his eyes again.

"How are you dealing with…everything?" Artie's voice had gone low. Puck felt his heart stutter in his chest and groaned when he laid his head down on the desk in front of him.

"It's fine when I'm not thinking about it," He muttered, "So I try not to think about it at all. Why'd you have to go and bring it up?"

"Because it is going to happen, Puck." Artie's voice was comforting, as was the hand he set briefly to Puck's shoulder.

"I get that, Abrams. It's not like They didn't make it clear." He could hear the bitterness in his own voice and knew that it was not how he wanted to come across to the only person who could possibly understand in the slightest what he was going through. He lifted his head, set his chin on his folded arms and looked at the wall, "You know They tucked me in last night. And made me breakfast this morning. I think They feel bad."

"Of course They feel bad, Puck. They're good ladies. They don't want you to hurt. It's just…Sometimes They just don't think things through."

"You really like Them, don't you?" Puck asked, a little confused, "I mean, like, really like Them. You're close to Them."

"Yeah. They're my best friends." Artie smiled a smile Puck had never seen. It was soft and affectionate, "They have been since They…" He trailed off.

"Since They what, Abrams? You always find some reason to stop talking whenever it comes to what happened to you." Puck was surprised when Artie looked away, closing his eyes. Puck sat up, barely resisting the urge to set a hand to Artie's shoulder. He wasn't sure that Artie would appreciate the gesture coming from him. Not yet.

"I've never told anyone this," Artie said quietly, "I've always been kind of ashamed. I met the ladies three years ago. I was thirteen. It was my freshman year. I've been in a chair since I was eight, Puck. Before high school it was never a big deal. Then I got here and some of the upperclassmen…Let's just say they didn't take kindly to me. At first it was little things. They'd push me into the lockers, call me stupid things, things I'd heard before. I was able to brush them off like anything else that had ever happened. But, when it didn't work they started doing more. They'd rip me out of my chair and take it across the school. They started hitting me with their backpacks, hard. Broke my glasses and almost my nose. Busted my lip a couple of times. They did other things, worse things. I won't even tell you. They're pretty bad."

"Fuck, Artie…" Puck rubbed a hand over his face, "When we used to…"

"Puck," Artie reached over and patted his hand, "Nothing you guys ever did compared to what these assholes put me through. Trust me."

"So, what happened? They hurt you bad enough the ladies had to interfere?"

"No," Artie looked away again, "Nothing like that. What they were doing ended up getting to me," His voice was high and tight. Puck didn't resist the urge to touch him this time. Artie flinched when Puck set the hand to his shoulder, but didn't shrug the hand off, "I didn't have a lot of friends to talk to and my parents were going through a rough patch so I didn't want to put anything else on them. I tried to talk to one of my teachers and couldn't get the words out. I could only see one way out."

"Abrams…"

"I wasn't as strong then as I am now. It was a Saturday in December when I tried to hang myself. Well…" He chuckled without humor, "I succeeded. I was technically dead when my dad found me, but it hadn't been long. He cut me down, got my heart beating and me breathing again. But, I'd already done the damage. I was basically brain dead by the time they got me to the hospital. I'd cut off the oxygen to my brain for too long."

"Fuck, Artie," Puck muttered again, "When…when did the ladies come in?"

"Oh, They were always there." Artie smiled, "Physically I was brain dead. But, They'd stopped my soul from leaving my body so I never really died. And They arranged things so that I could hear everything going on around me. It shouldn't have been possible, but you know Them. I heard my mom and dad grieving, my older brother came home from college. He wasn't going to go back. They made me live like that for six months. I couldn't move. I couldn't die. All I could do was listen to all of the pain I had caused. My parents divorced. My brother started drinking and got into drugs. My grandmother grieved herself to death. All I wanted was to take everything back, to fix it. To try again." He paused, tears running down his cheeks. Puck took a deep breath and squeezed his shoulder.

"What happened?"

"The day my parents decided it was time to take me off of life support They pulled me back to the day I had tried to commit suicide. I thought maybe I had dreamed it all. But, there was the tie I had used, hanging from my closet rail. I didn't quite know what had happened, but I knew I had been given the second chance I had prayed for over and over again."

"What did you do?"

"Instead of hanging myself I called for my mom and dad. They rushed into the room and I told them what had been happening. They cried with me when they realized what I had been planning and told me over and over how much they loved me and how grateful they were that I had decided to talk to them instead. We went to Figgins the next Monday. The worst offenders were gone by that afternoon. He agreed to never mention it because I asked him to. He's a good guy. I wish things were easier for him."

"Fuck," Puck whispered, not knowing how he was supposed to react. Artie was one of the most positive people he had ever met. Nothing really seemed to get him down for long. Thinking about someone, anyone, making him feel like there was no other way out other than to…Fuck! His chest tightened in a way it usually only tightened when he thought about Friday. The hand that wasn't on Artie's shoulder tightened into a fist. He wanted to find those who had tortured Artie. He could remember their freshmen year and the disappointment that had been felt by the entire school when four of the best basketball players had been expelled just before Christmas without explanation. (Figgins really had protected Artie. He suddenly had a lot more respect for the man than he had ever had before.) He tried to keep his anger off of his face as it burned up through his chest. He wanted to find the bastards. He wanted to make them hurt. It was a strange, new sensation to care about people more than he cared about himself. It was hard enough letting his mom and his sister see how much he actually loved them. Then there was Kurt. Now Artie. And, if he was honest with himself, as he was trying to be, the others in Glee. He cared about them as well. Finn and Quinn a little more so than the others for obvious reasons, but he knew now that he would do just about anything to keep any of them from ever being hurt like Artie had been hurt.

"Yeah," Artie set a hand over the one Puck had on his shoulder and patted it gently. "But it was a long time ago. When I was laying in that bed, unable to do anything about what was happening around me I realized that nothing in my life was so bad that I wanted to end it. It's said that a lot of people who try to commit suicide and fail come to realize that. Not all of them, but I was one of them. I still didn't understand how I was brought back to life. Truthfully, even though I was happy to be alive I was afraid that I was going insane because I knew that it had actually happened but no one else did. I could still hear my mom crying in my dreams. I could hear my dad yelling at my brother because he came to the hospital high."

"I can see how that would drive you a little bit insane. I still see Kurt…lying there…almost every time I close my eyes."

"Yeah. That's something They say They never take away. They don't want us to forget what we've done and what could happen again if we don't watch ourselves. The ladies introduced themselves to me not long after I decided I was losing it. The point of letting me save myself wasn't to make me think I'd gone insane They told me. They explained to me who They were and what They had done because They had been watching me since the accident and They liked me. They said They did that, latched on to certain mortals when something about them fascinated Them. I was one of the lucky ones, They said. I told Them They were insane and asked how the hell They got into my room. Sakura giggled and patted my cheeks. Crystal rolled her eyes and slapped me upside the head. Aziza held me and rocked me like my mother used to do when I was a kid until I fell asleep. They've been there for me ever since. I just…get Them, I think, like no other mortal does. I'm not sure why They let themselves become my best friends and closest confidantes, but They have and I love Them for it. They're the ones who encouraged me to join the jazz band. They kind of pushed me into an introduction with Tina this year. And my date with her. They pushed me into that, too. I guess I'm kind of grateful even when They're pushy as hell." He lowered his head and blushed a little.

"Abrams!" Puck slapped him on the back heartily, much more comfortable with where the conversation was now than where it had been just moments before, "You dog! You tap that yet? Gotta say, man, you have good taste. She's cute."

"Yeah…"Artie shrugged Puck's hand off and they were both relieved that their bonding moment seemed to have come to an end, "We're kind of on hiatus at the moment. She told me that she was faking her stutter and I kind of flipped out on her and neither of us have really apologized yet."

"You should get on that," Puck said quietly. "You and I both know how fast things can change. Don't hold a grudge, dude. Be the first to say you're sorry."

"You might want to take your own advice, Puck."

"I've already…"

"Not Kurt, Puck. You've got that down. Finn and Quinn…" He held up a hand when Puck made to interrupt, "I'm just saying…Think about it. Okay?"

The bell rang before Puck had a chance to say anything and Artie gave him a look that said he wouldn't accept whatever bullshit Puck came up with anyway so he didn't even try to say anything as Artie wheeled himself out of the room. Puck put his head back on the table. Someday he was going to have the last word with Artie. It didn't help that Artie always seemed to be right. He was much wiser than he should have been at sixteen. Puck lifted his head when the bell rang again. He knew, intellectually, that he should head to class, especially because they had skipped the entire day before, but he just wasn't feeling it. Not that he was ever feeling class, but it just didn't seem worth it when Kurt wasn't even in the class. He needed a break. He walked outside. None of the teachers even stopped him. The sun felt good on his face as he laid in the middle of the football field and tried to nap.

"You know, ladies," he spoke up after a while, not opening the eyes, "I'm not going to fall apart. You don't have to keep an eye on me every second."

"Oh, we know that, Noah."

Puck lifted himself up on his elbows and smiled a little when he spotted them. Sakura was seated cross-legged on the grass, a guitar in her hands that she strummed gently every once in a while like it was an afterthought. She looked like a hippy in the flowing shirt and jeans, Puck thought. But, it was probably the look she was going for with her feet bare and a flower in her loose hair. Crystal was in the same pencil skirt power suit she had worn every other time Puck had seen her. He didn't know how her four inch heels weren't sinking into the grass that she was glaring at so disdainfully. Aziza was kneeling in a pretty sundress, cooing to the dove on her hand.

"You don't need us to watch you," Crystal said, "We know you're not going to do anything stupid. We just…" She swallowed hard.

"We wanted to apologize," Sakura set the guitar down and looked at him earnestly, "Artie's right. Sometimes we just don't think before we act. Being immortal does that to you, surprisingly. There are no consequences for us so we tend to forget that there are for others. There are limits to our powers, though. And we wish we could take back what we've done but there's only so much we're allowed to do when it comes to one person."

"Naw," Puck ran a hand over his Mohawk, "I'm glad you did what you did. I'm…grateful Kurt won't die not knowing…"

"We could make you forget," Aziza said softly, helping the dove launch into the air, "If it would make it easier for you we could make you forget that you know."

"No!" Puck's voice was sharp. All three of the ladies flinched and he winced and smoothes his tone again, "Sorry. I don't want to forget. I don't want to be that ass again. Kurt deserves more."

"Noah!"

Puck turned his head to look over his shoulder when he heard Kurt call out to him. By the time he looked back, the ladies were gone, leaving only his guitar on the field. He wondered if They had spent all day at his apartment. He picked up the guitar and stood, turning around to face Kurt. He hated the fact that Kurt looked around to make sure that they were completely alone before he leaned in for a kiss.

"What are you doing out here?" Kurt asked, "You're going to be late for Glee."

"Just thinking. Needed to get my head on straight. Let's go. Can't be late. Rachel will castrate us."

"And I do rather enjoy that portion of your anatomy," Kurt patted the front of Puck's pants teasingly. Puck's eyes went wide in shock at the move. Kurt doubled over laughing at the sight, then abruptly cut off when Puck lunged for him on a growl. Kurt took off like a shot, Puck chasing him back into the school. Neither one of them saw the three women on the football field, hands clasped tightly as they watched the young men, very much in love, have their fun.

"He's smart," Crystal whispered, "And he loves Kurt. He'll do the right thing."

"I hope he does," Sakura set her head to her sister's shoulder.

Aziza moved to wrap them both in a hug, "We all hope so," She said gently. The three took a deep breath as one. The wind blew gently in Their direction. And then They were gone.