Justice

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers or Jesse Hawkes, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst

Rating: FRT

Justice
Chapter 9


I can't stay here. I have to go back to master, I promised. Jesse read the words three times over. He couldn't believe that Cody wanted to go back to that monster. "Cody, son, Rassy is back in prison. You couldn't go back to him, even if your brother and I were willing to let you."

You're lying. Cody wrote, his eyes as accusing as the words.

Jesse sighed, he wondered if he'd ever manage to get through to Cody. "You saw the police, saw him being led away, why do you think I'm lying?" he asked with forced calmness.

Cody shook his head, he remembered there being a lot of people around, but he didn't know who they were. He's testing me. It was the only explanation that made sense to his troubled mind.

“Rassy?” Jesse asked for clarification. A nod was his only answer. “Has he tested you before?” Jesse was almost afraid of the answer. He was relieved when Cody shook his head. “Then why do you think he's testing you now?”

Cody picked up the pad again and began to write. He wouldn't let me go home, he'd kill me first. If I don't go back, he'll kill you and Matt.

“No Cody, he won't because he can't,” Jesse promised. He could see by the stubborn set of Cody's jaw that his words weren't believed. “Have I ever lied to you before? Then why would you think I'm lying now?” Jesse asked in response to his son's shaking head.

Cody didn't answer. Climbing off the boulder, he started walking back towards the cabin. He felt lost. If what his father said was true he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He could stay here, live in the mountains he'd grown up in, but would his father want him the way he was now? No, of course he wouldn't. Jesse would want the son he knew returned to him, but that son didn't exist anymore. He was only dog now, or slave, a thing to be tormented and used by his master.

In spite of knowing his father had never lied to him in the past, he could hardly believe him now. Master had shown him, painfully, the consequences of questioning him, of disobeying him, even when the order was unspoken. If he couldn't carry out the punishment...Cody stopped in his tracks. There had been so many warnings and threats, it must have gotten lost as they had begun to blend together. Still, he couldn't believe he had forgotten the warning. He could almost hear master's voice as he told him, promised retribution if he ever returned home. If not through him, then through another.


*****************

Larry sat, once again, in a prison cell. He grinned as he imagined the Hawkes kid and what he was going through. As much as he would have enjoyed continuing his ownership of the boy, he had known all along that he would eventually be caught. He wondered if the kid was still remaining silent. Of course he is, he told himself, you had him completely broken. “Wonder how Hawkes will react when he realizes he can't make my dog into a real boy again?” His barked laughter sounded loudly in the relative silence of the cell block he was housed in. “Should've named him Pinocchio,” he grinned, chuckling at his own joke.


************

Matt had taken his time gathering up their clothes and other portable items. If they never returned to Frisco, Marty could have the furniture they were leaving. He knew, that it was really a question of if he returned. His father, he was sure, would do as he had years ago, retreat into the mountains. Matt was sure he'd never leave again, unless Cody decided he wanted to return to the city. He planned, after his brother had healed, to do his best to convince Cody to go back to Frisco. His biggest fear, aside from the fear that his brother would never recover, was that he would retreat into those mountains just like their father had done. Only, he thought Cody would go even further, becoming more like old Gabe, never interacting with other people in a normal way.

As much as he wanted to help his brother, he was also grateful for the break from the stress. It hurt him, more than he would ever have imagined, to see his outgoing little brother so withdrawn and broken. He was terrified that Cody would never get better, spending the rest of his life silent and broken.

Finally he had everything packed and loaded into the rented truck. He couldn't delay any longer. Letting loose a heavy sigh, he left the warehouse they'd made a home, locking the door behind him. If Matt were honest with himself, he knew that the need for a break from his brother's problems wasn't his only reason for delaying his return to Tahoe. If the counseling he'd had after the drug bust had taught him anything it was to be honest with himself about the reasons for his actions.

Though the other Rangers had said that they understood why he couldn't return to the job he had once loved, his only contact with them had been through letters, making it difficult to judge their emotions. What if they were lying about that understanding? What if they thought he was using his physical injuries as an excuse to avoid going home? What if they felt like he had abandoned them, forcing them to deal with their grief without his support? Stop it Hawkes, he ordered himself. His friends knew that, even though he had recovered, he would never be able to handle the grueling physical requirements of a High Mountain Ranger's life. Bounty hunting was one thing. Sure there was a physical side to it, but it was short bursts, not hours of making demands on his body.

Still he was nervous about returning to the mountains. He hadn't been back since they'd flown him to Frisco for treatment. He hadn't even been able to attend the funerals for his friends. In all honesty, he was as afraid of facing the memories of his lost friends as he was the presence of his living ones. Steeling himself for the task, he sped on down the highway, rapidly closing the distance between himself and the ghosts of his past.

Long before he was ready, Matt was pulling into Tahoe. Driving down familiar streets, he headed towards the other side of town and the road that would take him towards his dad's old cabin. He never made it that far. The sight of his father's truck parked outside the Ranger station sent a stab of fear through him. Had something happened to Cody? It must have, he knew, there was no other reason his dad would subject his brother to facing strangers and friends alike. A horn sounded behind him as he turned the wheel sharply and without warning into the parking lot of the station. Stopping next to Jesse's truck, he jumped out and all but ran to the door of the station.

Robin looked up as the front door burst open. “Matt,” she smiled, standing up and walking towards him.

“Where's my dad and Cody?” Matt asked without preamble.

Robin was startled, caught off guard by the suddenness of the question. She opened her mouth to admonish him for his rudeness, quickly changing her mind as realization sunk in. “They're at your dad's cabin. Jesse didn't think Cody could handle a long hike or ride on horseback; Frank flew them up.”

Matt's shoulders sagged, the relief a physical thing. “Cody's okay then?”

“Yeah, well as much as he can be considering what he's been through.”

Matt looked as startled as Robin had only seconds earlier. “Dad told you?”

Robin nodded, “Just me and Frank though,” she explained. She had a feeling Matt wouldn't be happy if he thought the newer Rangers were aware of what had happened to Cody. “He told us you'd probably be stopping too because you'd have a problem with hiking because of the stuff you're carrying.”

Matt ducked his head, shooting a sheepish smile her way. “Honestly I didn't even think about that. I saw Dad's truck and was afraid something had happened to Cody.”

Robin smiled, “Good thing you stopped then. He wanted you to bring the horses up with you so none of you will be stuck at the cabin. I told him I'd ride up with you, help with the horses,” she explained.

“I'd appreciate that,” Matt smiled. Now that he wasn't worrying about an unexpected emergency, he was able to pay more attention to the way he felt. He was pleasantly surprised to find that being here, in the station, in the company of an old friend, wasn't as awkward or uncomfortable as he had feared. If Robin had volunteered to help get the horses up the mountain, she at least, obviously understood why he hadn't come back. If she had been honest about that, then the odds were Frank and Izzy had been just as honest concerning their feelings. The recognition of that was a load from his shoulders. “So are you and...” he gestured to the man at the radio, unaware of his name, “the only ones here?”

“I'm sorry, Matt, this is Terry Miller; Terry, Matt Hawkes,” Robin introduced with a smile. “Actually I'm afraid we are. Frank, Izzy and Sam are out on a call. We can wait until they're back if you like, but I don't know when that will be.”

Matt shook his head, “I'd like to see Frank and Izzy, but we need to get up to the cabin early enough that you can make the ride back before dark.”

Robin nodded, she knew he was right. “I'll go saddle the horses then, you get your stuff.”

“Thanks,” Matt smiled. “Oh, can I use your phone first?”

Robin tilted her head, wondering who he needed to call. “Yeah, sure.”

“I need to call the rental company, have them send somebody to pick up the truck,” he explained.

Robin smiled and nodded. Turning away, she headed out to the barn.


********

They rode the first part of the trail in a mostly comfortable silence. “How are you doing Matt?” Robin finally asked.

“I'm fine, Cody's the one who was put through hell.”

“Bull,” Robin snapped.

“Excuse me?”

“I'm sorry Matt, but as much as Cody suffered and I know he did, he isn't the only one who went through hell. I can't imagine being forced to watch somebody I love being tortured. Add to that having that person taken away by the person who was torturing them, knowing they would endure more torment, that would be its own sort of hell.”

Matt sighed, “You're right,” he admitted. “This can't be about me though. We have to focus on Cody and helping him to recover from whatever Rassy did to him. Hell Robin, we don't even know everything he went through. He may” Matt swallowed hard, “have been sexually abused by that monster,” he bit out, the words cutting through his soul.

Robin startled, Jesse hadn't told them. “I didn't know that.”

“I probably shouldn't have told you.”

Robin couldn't help feeling sorry for the man riding beside her. If she knew Matt, and she did, he was kicking himself for what he had revealed. “Don't worry, I won't say anything.”

Matt nodded, “Thanks, but still it wasn't my secret to tell.”

Robin's first instinct was to defend him, she forced the instinct down. Taking the time to think about it, she knew that if she were in Cody's shoes, she wouldn't want something like that being revealed without her permission. “You're right, but I don't think you were telling a secret as much as seeking comfort from a friend.” She paused, she wasn't sure if she should ask, but the cat was out of the bag. With a mental shrug, she plunged into the minefield ahead. “You said may have been?”

“There was some damage done to him, but not enough to be sure if he was, hurt like that,” Matt replied, his voice thick with emotion. “I'm sorry,” he cleared his throat. “It's just hard to imagine something like that happening to my little brother. Stupid really, as if that's somehow worse than the other things that bastard did to him,” he snarled.

Robin sighed, she wished she knew how to help Matt through this. She wasn't a trained psychologist though. No, but you are a friend, a voice whispered. “Maybe,” she licked her lips, “maybe it's because that's so much more personal than the other things.”

“Maybe,” Matt nodded, recognizing the truth of her words. “Thanks,” he smiled. Talking to a friend had been just what he needed. God knew he hadn't been able to talk to his father, the older man too wrapped up in concern for his youngest to realize that his other son needed him too. Not that Matt blamed him for that. Just as when his father had focused on him during his recovery, Cody was the one who needed him now. Matt would never try to take Jesse attention away from his brother. He just hadn't realized until now how much he needed somebody to talk to.

“Anytime Matt,” Robin softly acknowledged.


***********

A few miles away, Jesse had caught up to Cody. “Cody, son, what is it? Do you think I'm lying?”

Cody shook, the fear brought on by his realization overwhelming him.

“Cody?” Jesse tried again, placing a supportive hand on his son's shoulder. He was surprised to find the muscles under his hand trembling. “Son please tell me what's wrong,” he tried again.

Cody turned to him, his eyes wide in his pale face. Bringing up the pad and pencil, he tried to reply. His hand shook too much to write properly. Looking up, his eyes plead for the help that he couldn't ask for.

Another piece of his heart crumbling under the look of despair, Jesse instinctively drew his boy into his arms. “It's going to be okay son,” he soothed. “I promise that bastard is never going to hurt you or anybody else again.” Jesse's voice was firm, filled with conviction, he only hoped Cody would be able to believe in the promise he offered.

TBC

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