Rock Me

WARNING: This does smack of child abuse. I didn't make it graphic at all but just keep it in mind as you read. Thanks.


Dean had been threatened before. It had all begun when he was five. He hadn’t gone anywhere with Abaddon that time. Abaddon had come to him. John had freaked out and wanted to fight him, but he had just recently lost Mary and had no idea how to stand up against any demon, let alone one as powerful as Dean’s demonic father.

”Come here, boy…” Abaddon beckoned to Dean and John was horrified as Dean walked over.

It had been a year since Mary’s death and also a year since Dean had spoken. Missouri entered the picture three months after the house had burned and she cried openly at the pain swirling inside his son, but she wouldn’t reach it for him. She explained that type of grief could kill a man if let loose too early.

John had dropped it and watched Dean as he helped with Sam, but never spoke a word. When Sam started talking and Dean greeted them with nothing but silence, John was certain his heart broke a little more.

But this night, Dean had chosen to go to a stranger when John had drilled into him never to go near them.

“Dean!”

Abaddon held up a hand. “John, please don’t yell. I need to talk to him and then you can have him back…depending on our conversation.”

Before John could protest, a woman walked in. She smiled at him as if she knew him, but he shook his head. Gaping as Dean ran to the red-haired vixen, he sat down hard. His son, who wouldn’t let anyone touch him, had leaped into the strange woman’s arms and sobbed. More importantly, he talked.

“Don’t leave…please don’t leave.”

Dean’s little voice was scratchy and barely there from disuse, but it was loud enough to shatter John’s hold on his calm and he felt the tears slip down his cheeks.

Lilith smoothed his hair back, noticing John wasn’t as strict about keeping Dean’s hair cut like she had been. She knew Dean would recognize her, whether she looked different or not. Abaddon had told her she was full of crap, but a woman knew. She kissed the top of his head and whispered to him to go to Abaddon.

He obeyed and she found herself glancing into the adjacent room where Sam snuggled with his blanket.

Not caring about John’s protests, she walked in and looked down on the child. His dark hair had curled and the chocolate locks called to her to run her fingers through them. She almost indulged, but remembered he could hurt her, even now. She hadn’t baptized him with her blood yet and now wasn’t the time.

She turned and joined the others, smiling as she saw Abaddon had restrained John so she could have a few moments with her son. It pained her to think of him that way. Truthfully, she’d enjoyed Sam, but it was Dean who had captured her heart. He’d been her baby and she’d held him and cuddled him and taken care of him through four years and knew her love ran deeper than most mothers could ever feel for their children.

“Now,” Abaddon released John. “Dean and I have some business to discuss.”

He led the child into the next room and heard Lilith start talking to John to keep him preoccupied. He wondered how soon it would be before he could no longer control John Winchester as easily as he was at the moment. If he’d waited much longer before making initial contact, like Lilith had wanted, John would have exorcised him back to Hell before he’d even gotten in the front door.

“Why does she look different?”

Abaddon quirked an eyebrow and remembered that Dean could probably see Lilith as her soul showed her and not the body. “It’s not the same, Dean. She’s not your mother.”

As Dean frowned, Abaddon felt a stab of guilt. Lilith had warned him he’d be a shitty father to a human and she was right apparently. He thought about trying to explain it away, but decided it wouldn’t matter soon.

Once Dean agreed to his proposition, he’d no longer have to cater to the needs of the child unless he felt like it.

When Lilith had forgot to tie herself to Dean due to the busy schedule she kept as a new mother, Abaddon had been able to come for her. But Dean had held onto Lilith’s blood for a long time, longer than any non-human had done so Dean Winchester was already looked upon as extraordinary by the creatures his father wanted to hunt.

Sam would always be considered the ‘special’ one, but Dean was the one who shined in the face of evil. Abaddon knew they’d never realize it. Not until it was too late.

He turned his attention back to the child.

“Here’s the thing, Dean. Right now I could kill your father and your brother and leave and you will never have to see me again. In fact, you’ll be completely free to live a normal life for the next 90 years and then you’ll die and go where all the other humans go.”

“Where’s that?”

“Um…it’s kind of a policy…we don’t talk about that. Mystery of life after death and all.”

Dean just shrugged and seemed to accept it.

Abaddon frowned then. “Wait…I told you I could kill your father and brother.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Shouldn’t you be crying or dripping snot or something?”

“No, you won’t kill them.”

“Why not?” Abaddon was intrigued and that bothered him.

“If you kill them then I won’t have a normal life.”

“Oh? And why not?”

“Because I’ll spend it looking for you and then killing you.”

Abaddon’s mouth dropped open. He wondered if Lilith knew that under the guise of a sweet shaggy haired little boy there lived the heart of a true warrior.

“Any other reason?”

“Daddy says if people talk a lot about things they could do then they probably aren’t going to do them.” Dean's weakened voice cracked a bit.

The demon nodded. “True. Why do you think I brought it up then?”

Dean shrugged. “You want something.”

Abaddon beamed with pride and pulled the child to him in a bruising kiss.

Dean didn’t know what was going on and didn’t even struggle because he wasn’t aware enough of the actions going on to feel disgust or anything about it.

Abaddon took a deep breath. He was told to remember it was different with humans. After five years, his demonic children were full grown. Not so with Dean.

“You spend a day with me, every year, and you do it my way, and I promise I won’t harm them.”

“You swear to God?”

Abaddon winced. “I can’t physically do that, but yeah…basically I make the biggest promise I can. It’s called an oath.”

Dean nodded. “What do I have to do with you for this day?”

The demon chuckled. He should have known his son would want all of the answers. “Well you live with me as my son and you do it my way.”

Dean frowned. “Your way?” He squirmed a little as Abaddon sat and pulled Dean into his lap, rubbing his arm.

“We’ll have fun, Dean.” He started fondling the boy through his clothes and saw the child tense.

Dean closed his eyes. He knew what this was. He’d listened to Missouri when she’d told him the dangers out in the world and why it was so important he learn to talk again because of things that could be done to him by people. He felt sick to his stomach, but then heard Sammy babble in his sleep. He opened his eyes as he heard the deep tones of his father’s voice talking to Lilith.

He knew he couldn’t lose them. They may not have done the same for him, but he’d never give them up if there was anything he could do to stop it. “Okay.”

Abaddon lifted one elegant eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, what day?”

“It starts now.”

Dean had clenched his eyes shut throughout the day. Abaddon’s hands and mouth were everywhere and there were things done to him he never would have been able to describe with the lack of the vocabulary.

Lilith had knocked John out once Abaddon had called to her the deal had been struck and she’d taken over the care of Sammy.

By the end of the second hour, Dean was screaming himself hoarse, which wasn’t hard considering how long he’d neglected to use his voice at all.

Lilith tried to step in, but Abaddon reminded her it was bad enough he had to stay on this level of existence to be with Dean at all this time. He couldn’t do quite as many things as he’d wanted to. He frowned as Dean began to emotionally crumble. He hated admitting Lilith was right. Considering the amount of blood that flowed and the way the child bruised, he figured he really would have killed him if he’d taken him as a baby.

There was one thing he’d promised Lilith he wouldn’t do and he’d kept his word. The final claiming was something to be taken seriously and he would wait for that. But he’d done enough.

Dean had taken the abuse well, but when Abaddon had insisted Dean return some of the ‘favors’ he had whimpered and fallen apart. Abaddon had simply reminded him of their deal to spur Dean into action again.

Twenty-four hours after they’d arrived, Lilith and Abaddon were gone and John was cradling his oldest son in his arms and screaming at what had been done to his sweet boy.

Knowing the innocence was gone completely, John wept into his son’s hair and held his broken body close.

Three and a half weeks later, John celebrated Christmas with his children for the first time since Mary’s death.

He believed Dean deserved it after what he’d been through.

Dean hadn’t even cracked a smile.

The once lively child had gone silent once again and John, still not knowing about the deal his son had made, thought he had time to get him back.

Year after year, it was the same.

Dean would just start to come back to him and Abaddon would contact them to tell them to head to Nebraska. Someone would show up, take Dean away, and he’d be returned a day later bloody and broken.

Dean felt the demon’s hands pulling him back from their shared memories as they traveled over his body lazily. Abaddon had led him to the large room he’d grown to hate. He slumped against his father as he caressed him. “Already?”

Abaddon smiled. “Sam should know what he’s been missing, don’t you think?”

Dean frowned as Abaddon’s gaze focused over his shoulder. He turned his head to see Lilith sitting down next to Sam, both behind a pane of glass. Sam was glaring at Abaddon with each stroke of flesh against flesh. “He can’t handle this.”

“No? Well how about this?”

A door opened in the far wall and a six-year-old child was pushed into the room. He was shivering and looked like he’d been out in a rainstorm. His eyes darted around the room and he started to sob. “I want my daddy…”

Dean shook his head in confusion. “This…this is new.”

“No, Dean. Look carefully.”

Dean moved closer, aware that the child couldn’t seem to see him. Then he saw it.

There was a large healing cut down the child’s arm. Dean had insisted on practicing with his dad’s knife once and it had sliced his arm from wrist to elbow. He was looking at the proof that this child was a manifestation of his memory.

He thought again about that time. He’d been there so much that he would usually have to focus on what year this represented, but not this one. He knew damn well what had happened to him in this room when he was six. “Don’t show him.”

“It’s been decided.”

He looked up and saw as Sam was told by Lilith who the little boy was. Sam jumped up and leaned forward, straining to see what was going on.

Dean just shook his head in defeat as the nightmare began.

TBC...