Numb

Sam sighed impatiently as she paced from one end of the small lounge to the other. She was having a bad day and idn'tdn't seem to be getting any better. First she woke up late and in a grumpy mood. It wasn't until later when she actually thought about it that she realized her mood was probably the direct result of Luka not being there when she woke. She still hadn't had the time to properly process that realization.
Then bad went to worse when her car wouldn't start. Alex had been late getting to school and she was late getting to work. A fact that Romano had jumped on the second she hit the floor. She didn't mind being yelled at about things like this. She understood the need for people above her to set limits and enforce them. She could deal with that. It was the smart-ass, sometimes just plain mean comments he made in front of her co-workers that she really didn't like and he had been full of them all morning and they all seemed to be aimed directly at her.
Then she was disappointed to learn that Luka had called in to work. She didn't know what was wrong with him. Ever since their weekend at the lake, he had seemed to pull away from her. She couldn't figure out what she had done wrong. She thought everything was wonderful, especially that last night they were there. They had been so close. She had almost told him she loved him. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe he didn't feel as strongly and he had sensed something from her. His evasiveness about his past was another area she wasn't dealing with very well anymore. She needed to know what had happened to him. What had happened to the family he had hinted at. She didn't know what her next move with him should be. She had no intention of letting this get screwed up and having him disappear from her or Alex's life. He had come to mean too much for both of them. She decided it was time to go to someone who could tell her. If he wasn't willing to share it with her, maybe someone else would be.
It was at that moment in her thoughts that Abby Lockhart entered the lounge and Sam decided it was a message from a higher being that she was making the right choice.
She stopped pacing and nodded at Abby in friendly acknowledgment.
" Are you trying to wear a hole in the floor to escape through ? " Abby smiled.
" I have had one crappy day. " Sam told her wearily.
" Yeah, I noticed. Romano really is riding you. What did you do to get his panties in a twist ? " Abby asked, as she grabbed her purse from her locker.
" I was late this morning. " Sam answered.
" That's all. Wow you would have thought you ran over his cat or something. " she mused. " Where is Luka ? Is he sick ? "
" I have no idea. Actually I wanted to talk to you about him. " Sam said, starting for one of the two small tables in the room.
" I'm going to lunch, " Abby told her, " Join me. This looks like a serious kind of talk. "
" It is. " Sam answered.

Fifteen minutes later they were nestled at a table in the back of Doc Magoo's waiting on their order.
Abby took a drink from the glass in front of her and smiled at Sam. " Now what is going on with you two ? I thought things were going so well. "
Sam sighed and slumped her shoulders defeatedly. " I thought so, too. " she muttered.
Abby gave her an understanding look. " Luka is a complicated man. He's been through hell. "
" I wouldn't know. " Sam muttered again. " That is actually what I wanted to talk to you about. He won't tell me about his past. " Sam twirled a strand of hair around her finger and took a drink from her glass. " I mean he has hinted here and there that he had a family and that they are gone now. But he won't tell me what happened to them. " She paused for a moment at seeing Abby's stunned expression. " Then three weekends ago we had the most perfect weekend. Everything was wonderful. I almost told him I loved him even. Then the next week he pulled away from me. I mean he still hangs out with Alex but things just aren't the same between us. " She let her hand fall from her hair and it flopped against the table. " I don't understand what I did wrong. "
Abby sighed and smiled at Sam reassuringly. " Knowing Luka like I do, you didn't do anything wrong. It is all him, him and his perpetual commitment problems. Like I said he is a complicated man. "
" So this happens a lot ? " Sam asked.
" I thought it would be different this time. " Abby muttered. " He seemed like he was dealing with all this better this time. "
" You have to help me out. I don't know what to do. " Sam almost whined.
Abby paused for a minute as the waitress came and set their food down in front of them.
" Let me talk to him and try and find out what is going on this time. " Abby offered.
" What happened to him ? " Sam asked bluntly.
Abby considered her for a moment. " If he hasn't told you everything, I'm not sure I should. I think it is probably best if you hear the whole thing from him. " She continued on when she saw Sam's eyes drop. " I will tell you that no one should ever have to go through the kind of pain he had to. Well actually the kind of pain he is obviously still going through. He has been through hell. "
Sam felt her chest tightened. " I want to help him. I want to be there for him. But he keeps pushing me away. "
Abby smirked at her. " I understand and I have every intention of letting him know exactly what he is screwing up. Just let me talk to him for you. "
Sam's eyes widen. " You can't let him know that I came to you for this. You can't tell him I tried to go behind his back. I mean, this past thing has been a real issue for us almost from the very beginning. "
Abby reached out and patted her hand. " You just leave him to me. I won't let him know anything about this talk, but I have spent way too many years watching him torture himself like this and I'm not going to sit back and watch it again. "
Sam smiled. She genuinely liked Abby. She knew Abby and Luka shared a past. Actually Abby had been Luka's biggest cheerleader when Sam had asked around about him. She knew that the other woman really wanted to see him happy. And apparently she had determined that Sam was the one that could make that happen.
" Thank you. I don't want to lose him. "
" He doesn't want to lose you either. I know that. I have never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. And he is completely in love with Alex. "
" Who is in love with Alex ? " A voice asked, coming up to the table.
Both women had been so lost in their conversation that they hadn't notice John Carter approaching them.
" Luka, " Abby answered, sliding over to make room for him. He sat down and brushed a quick kiss against her cheek.
" So is that who you two are all huddled together discussing, the ever slippery Dr. Kovac ? " he asked, with a smile.
" He is apparently up to his old habits. " Abby answered, with a weary look.
" Why am I not surprised ? " Carter answered. " I mean I know he's got every reason to be miserable but I thought things were different this time. "
Abby stopped him before he could say anything more. " He hasn't told her about Croatia. "
" What ? " Carter blurted out, clearly stunned. He shifted his attention to Sam. " You mean he hasn't told you anything about his past ? About what happened to him ? "
Sam nodded negatively.
" You have been seeing each other pretty steadily for what almost two months now. I would have thought he would have told you the tale by now. " he commented, snagging a french fry from Abby's plate and popping it into his mouth.
" I've tried to get him to talk to me, but he always tells me it's too painful and he can't deal with it yet. " Sam answered.
He considered that for a moment. " I can understand that. Hell, I was in Africa with him for four months. We talked about everything but that. He is a great listener, just not so good with the talking. " He smiled.
Sam smiled in understanding then she glanced down at her watch. " Damn, I should really get back. Romano is already gunning for me today. "
She pushed her plate over to Carter. " Enjoy. I barely touched it. "
Carter looked down at the food then back up to her. " Thanks. "
" No problem. " she said, standing. " I really appreciate the help Abby. "
" No, I appreciate you letting me know there was a problem before he messed things up again. I will get it all straightened out. I'll talk to him tonight. "
Sam left feeling much better than she had when she came in. Maybe her day was getting better.
That notion was quickly blown out of the water as soon as she returned from lunch.
Jerry was talking to someone on the phone as she walked up to the desk, and she noticed him glance in her direction.
" It's the school. " He said, pulling the phone from his ear. " There's some sort of problem with Alex. "
Sam took the phone and after a minute handed it back to him. " Fuck, " she muttered, barely under her breath.
" Something serious ? Jerry asked, taking in her expression.
" You haven't seen him have you ? " She asked, almost in a panic.
" Who ? Alex ? " he asked.
" Yeah, he skipped out of school. He isn't there. " she answered.
" He hasn't been here." he answered. " I s there anything I can do ? "
" Yeah, dial Luka's for me. "
A second later, she was listened to the sound of the phone ringing.
" Hello, " Luka answered, in a muffled voice.
" I didn't mean to wake you. " she said.
" No, no, I wasn't asleep. " he assured her. " Is everything okay ? You sound a little on edge. "
" Alex is missing. He left school. He isn't there, is he ? "
Suddenly the voice on the other end was much more alert. " No, he isn't here. Did you try home ? "
" Not yet, I figured i'd try you first. " she answered, her panic rising another level. The idea of her ten year old boy running around Chicago on his own was terrifying her.
" I'll find him. You try calling home. I'm going over there. " Luka told her sensing her mood. " Don't worry. I'll find him. "
" Okay, " She answered.
" Sam, it'll be okay. He's probably at home playing video games. " he tried to reassure her.
" You're right. " she conceded.
" Just promise me when we do find, I get to kill him right after you do. " he said.
" Deal. " she answered.
" I'll call you when I know something. "
Sam hung up the phone and immediately dialed her house.
Abby and Carter were strolling by the desk, just returning from lunch when they noticed her.
" What's up ? " Carter asked.
" Alex took off from school and he isn't at Luka's. " Jerry supplied.
" Oh, no. " Abby said.
Sam was drumming her fingers on the desk, waiting for someone to answer the phone. She hung up and dialed a different number.
All three of them watched her as she talked to the person on the other end, explaining what was happening. All three were watching as she turned white and hung up the phone.
" What is it ? " Carter asked, coming up behind her to offer her support. He really thought she was about to pass out.
" Steve. " she answered, quietly.
" Who is Steve ? " Jerry asked, clearly enjoying the drama.
" Alex's father. " Abby muttered, over her shoulder at him.
" It's worse. I just sent Luka over to my apartment to find Alex. " Sam said.
Carter put his hand on her shoulder for support.
" You need to get home now. " Abby told her. " Luka has a bit of a temper. "
Carter eyed her wearily. " I'll take you. " he said, after a minute. " Abby tell Romano what happened. Tell him I'll be back as soon as I can. "
He was ushering her out the door before she could say anything else.