He's the One That I Want

Reid just runs, with no particular destination in mind.  He is running like a panicked gazelle from a lion.  *It’s over.  He knows.  I’ve ruined everything because I couldn’t hide my feelings from him anymore.  Why couldn’t I just keep my big mouth shut?  This is all my fault.  Stupid!* 

Overwhelmed by depression, Spencer can’t force himself to run any longer.  Walking aimlessly with tears streaming down his face, chest heaving, Reid realizes, *I’ll have to leave.  Leave the first place I have ever felt like I belong.  The first place I wasn’t treated like some weird freak.  Leave the people that have been family to me for so long.  Leave the man I love…leave Derek.  I’ll be all alone again.* 

A half hour later, Spencer composes himself enough to call his boss.  “Hotch,” Reid whispers. 

“Reid?  Is that you?  Are you alright?” 

Taking a shaky breath, Reid declares “I n-need a transfer.” 

Aaron is stunned, even with the slipped hint, he is completely taken aback.  The BAU team means everything to the younger man.  “Why, Reid?  Tell me what’s wrong.  Please, let me help you!” the older agent pleads.  Everyone who knows the slim genius can’t help but want to protect him, and Hotch is no different.  Like an innocent kitten, he is so endearing that it is impossible not to care about him, impossible not to want to help him.  Aaron feels the pain in Spencer’s voice as if it is his own. 

Spencer fights the impulse to tell his boss, his friend.  “I…I can’t.  P-Please…could you just sign off on the transfer?  I h-have to leave, the further away from h-here the better.”  Hotch realizes Reid is hanging on by a thread.  Aaron hears the pain, the utter despair in his voice and it breaks his heart.  It breaks Hotch’s heart into little bitty pieces.  So he lies, telling Spencer he’ll start the paperwork tomorrow. 

A relieved Reid says goodbye and quickly hangs up.  He’ll escape from here.  Escape the pain of having to see Morgan again.  Knowing now for sure that the man he loves will never love him back. 

Aaron immediately calls Garcia, who is working late, and asks her to trace Spencer’s phone.  Getting the address, he then calls Derek. 

“Morgan,” he answers sounding panicked. 

“Where are you?”  Hotch asks abruptly.

“I’m looking for Reid.  He ran off after I finally got him to tell me what was wrong.” 

“He just called me.  He sounded really upset, hell, he sounded crushed.  Morgan, he…he requested a transfer, as far away from here as possible.” 

“What?!  No no NO!  Hotch you can’t do it!  You can’t let him go!” Derek shouts.  *Fuck!*  Although not truly surprised, Morgan is terrified, totally and unreservedly terrified that he’ll lose Reid now that he has just found him.  When he finally figured out just how much Spencer means to him.  He can’t lose him now, he just can’t. 

Aaron can hear pain, fear, desperation and terror in Derek’s voice.  He sounds even more wrecked than Hotch feels.  “I told him I would do it but I’m hoping that you can change his mind before that.  Do whatever it takes.  If you can’t convince him, I’ll have to do it.  I had Garcia track his phone.”  Hotch tells him where Reid was.  “You have to help him, Morgan.  Talk to him.  If anyone can convince him to stay, it’s you.”  Aaron knows that Morgan is their best bet to help Spencer.  No one else has as much influence on the genius as Derek does.  With every fiber of his being Hotch is hoping that will be enough, that he will somehow get through to Reid. 

*You have no idea how right you are…*  “I’m on my way.  I’ll talk to him.  I won’t let him leave, I can’t, Hotch.  Not now, not ever!” Derek responds, his voice quivering with desperation and fear. 

Aaron stares unseeingly at his phone and for the first time in a long time, he prays.