Two Tickets to Paradise

Author’s notes: Trying something a little different this week: a chapter with (gasp!) no sex. I know, I know, don’t throw the tomatoes yet. After the last episode and the outpouring of emotion at the Pit Stop, Sam and Dan deserved a week where I didn’t use them solely for your and my perverted enjoyment. So think of this as something of a brief interlude, if you will. Next week, we’ll be back to sex galore, I promise, but this week we’ll be taking a little more serious turn, lest I be accused of needing the PWP tag on this story.

Sam finished toweling off and stretched out his left arm, then his right, groaning a bit as his sore shoulders ached. He put the towel back on the rack and made his way into the bedroom, where Dan was already lying in bed, facing the wall.

“You can’t seriously be asleep this early,” Sam said, pulling the covers back and climbing in. He smirked at Dan’s back. “Because I guarantee you, you aren’t as tired as I am.”

Dan gave no response. After a moment, Sam heard a quiet sniffle and watched as Dan rubbed at his face.

“Dan?” Again, no response. Sam put a hand on his brother’s shoulder and pulled it back to see Dan’s eyes rimmed red and tears running down his cheeks.

“Hey,” Sam said, turning Dan over and wiping his brother’s tears away. “Come on, I’m fine. We both lost our tempers, it’s okay.”

“It’s not-” Dan began, his voice husky. He cleared his throat and looked up at Sam. “It’s not that.”

“What, then?” Sam asked, quirking his head. Dan lowered his gaze slightly, biting his lip. Sam put a finger under Dan’s chin, lifting his head back up. Dan swallowed and asked, “What’s going to happen when we get home?”

Sam blinked a few times, then the weight of Dan’s question hit him. He suddenly felt a lump in his own throat at the thought of going back to their everyday lives and the thought of trying to hide this new relationship. He opened his mouth, then looked at Dan’s emotional face. He managed to stammer out, “Why – why do you ask?”

“Because... I don’t know what this is,” Dan said, a few more tears flowing. “I mean, is this just something that’s on the race, or are we – can we still keep this up when we get back?”

Sam moved his forehead forward, resting it against Dan’s. Dan closed his eyes as Sam gently stroked his cheek, but he kept talking: “It’s – we’re getting closer and closer to coming home and I don’t know if I want to. I want to keep going and racing, because I’m with you and because of this...”

“Shhh,” Sam said. He slid his arms around Dan, holding him close. Dan’s crying only got harder and Sam started stroking Dan’s back. “It’s... this is something we’re gonna have to figure out when we get home.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Dan’s cheek. “I don’t know how we’re going to keep it up. But we’ll... we’ll figure something out.”

“I just don’t want this to end,” Dan said through his tears. “And today... that was closer than we’ve ever gotten to getting knocked out. And it’s just – it’s becoming so much more than just the race.”

“I know,” Sam said. He blinked a little, feeling his own eyes starting to sting with the threat of a few tears. He gave Dan a tight hug, biting his lip as he did. “We’ll make it work, Dan.”

Dan took in a few shuddering breaths, his crying beginning to quell. He opened his eyes and looked at Sam, who leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against Dan’s. Dan put his arms around his brother and kissed him back with none of the usual heat and passion found in their kisses, instead with gentleness, affection and love.

The brothers held their kiss for what seemed like both too long and too short, breaking it off to look at each other once more. “This isn’t going to be over when we get back to Missouri. I promise,” Sam said. Dan nodded.

Sam leaned forward and kissed Dan again, then tightened his arms around his younger brother. Dan curled himself up as Sam held him closely. It had been a long time since he had felt so secure in his brother’s arms and he didn’t want the feeling to end.

“Let’s just get some sleep tonight,” Sam said, pressing a kiss on the top of Dan’s head. “We’ve still got tomorrow.” Dan nodded, closing his eyes and giving Sam a squeeze with his arms. Sam hugged back and closed his own eyes.

“I love you, Sam,” Dan said quietly. Sam nuzzled his cheek against Dan’s forehead and whispered, “I love you, too.”