Past, Present and Future

Telling the rest of the crew that they would have to wait wasn’t that hard, they had Cassidy’s advance to live off of after all and while Destiny might not be the most entertaining of places they would make do for a week. No, the hard part would be not tipping their prey off to their motives for being there…but that would be handled in due time. There was plenty of unresolved business to deal with in the meantime.

Cassidy was still a bit shook up and disappeared for the rest of the day. She could feel the clock ticking and hated only being able to pray for her son when she wanted to do so much more. She asked for privacy even when Inara approached her with a sympathetic look. Cassidy didn’t need sympathy, she needed to forget and try not to think about the fact that she was at the one place she had tried so hard to escape from. But she would never be free…not as long as they had Evan.

Jayne was in a whole new world of confusion, he was tired of feeling like there was nothing he could do. Sure he was handy with a gun but right then there was really no one he could point one at. He was in a killing mode and no one was giving him the opportunity to expel some of that anger so instead he took it out on the punching bag he set up in the common room.

When Book walked in it wasn’t hard to see the state of mind Jayne was in, the punching bag was threatening to explode any second so he quickly made his presence known, “It seems to me that your wife could use a bit of comfort right about now.”

Jayne didn’t falter in his exercise when he responded, “not from me.”

“If not from her husband, then from who?”

Jayne stopped and looked over at Book, “would you quit saying that, you make it sound like we’re a real married couple.”

“Aren’t you?”

“Hell I don’t know what we are.”

“I understand that there is probably a lot of trouble in the marriage department right now and that’s understandable,” Book sat as he was talking, “I don’t endorse you breaking you vows with her for other women, but”

“What in the hell are you talking about?”

“Now Jayne, I know your marriage was one of convenience but that doesn’t excuse all those extra-marital relationships I’ve seen you engage in.”

“I aint done nothing wrong in that area preacher.”

“I’m sure your wife feels differently.”

“I never vowed to be faithful! Hell I only made one, and that wasn’t it. Gorram it I never touched anther female while we were together, but then she left…well hell that says a lot when we were never even together that way.”

Now it was Books turn to be confused, “you mean to say that you and Cassidy never had sexual relations?”

“I guess in fancier words yes and I would say my actions in that case were just about saint-worthy.”

“Jayne don’t you understand what that means?” Book was just then beginning to understand their relationship and the astonishment showed, “your marriage isn’t valid.”

“What?!”

“It could very easily be challenged and proved void in a court of law.”

“All because I haven’t sexed her?”

With a disapproving look for his language Book continued, “well that would have in a way completed the union and, as it stands, I don’t know anyone who would call your marriage real. I hadn’t realized that you two avoided each other so much…”

“It wasn’t avoiding, we were just pushed into marriage…and she was having a hard time of it losing her family and all…and well I didn’t want to push her into anything else…we were just getting close when everything happened.”

Book thought Jayne was being very telling the way he was talking in circles, in fact he had never seen the boy so frustrated with his actions and now he understand why they acted the way they did together. He knew that Jayne had strong feelings for the girl, maybe even loved her. They were in a mess and if Cassidy was ever able to work out her problems then he wished them the best. Jayne was a good boy under it all and he deserved some happiness and while he didn’t know Cassidy as long he knew Jayne he believed that after what the poor girl had been through she deserved some too. However, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t stir up the water a bit.

“Well in that case Jayne it would be very easy to secure a divorce I mean since your marriage wont really be needed anymore once this mess is cleaned up…” he stopped when he noticed that Jayne wasn’t paying any attention and was in fact walking out on him…so much for that idea.

Little did Book know that his words did in fact have the desired effect. What Book had said had thrown new thoughts to add to the mess going through Jayne’s mind. He had paid attention alright perhaps a little too well. Divorce? Who the hell had said anything about divorce? He knew when he married Cassidy that it was only temporary, that it wasn’t a real marriage and he knew that she deserved the right to pursue one of her own choosing but once the idea was actually made possible by an all too willing preacher it made him feel even worse. Here he was wanting to hold onto something that didn’t even really exist, that he had ignored existed for all this time. Cassidy did deserve to find a man who was right for her, who would protect her and love her, deserved to marry that man and live happily ever after like in some fanciful story but he didn’t know if he was willing to let her go. In their time apart he had tried not to believe that she had found someone new, ignorance to him was bliss. Besides, the thoughts would have driven him up the wall anyways.

Pushing the doubts aside, Jayne decided to put his fighting mood to good use so he went to find Mal. Finding him alone in the bay he asked, “are you willing to help me find some answers?” If anyone would be it would be Mal and while Jayne hated asking for anything, he didn’t consider it asking for help…just asking if he wanted to get a drink.

Mal looked over at his merc and studied the big man for a long minute, “well I haven’t been banged around in awhile, why not?” Mal didn’t try to veil the sarcasm, he knew what Jayne really wanted to do and couldn’t deny him the right.

Leave it to Mal to completely understand, he told Zoe to watch the ship while they were gone and to make sure everyone stayed on board…especially Cassidy since she probably didn’t want to know what they were going to do.

“Well Jayne you have a place in mind or are we just going to stroll around yelling what we want to the world?” Mal asked once they were off the ship and on their way.

“I know where we’re going.” And he did, he knew all too well.