Rock Me

Sam was annoyed at being pushed around by this woman who he had been involved with for so long. He had to accept that Jess was okay and she was shoving him down a corridor and had killed Mary Winchester.

Sam shook his head, not sure how to deal with all of it.

“Look…Lilith…”

“Call me Jess.”

“I don’t think so.”

He barely registered getting thrown against the wall. “I said call me Jess!”

“Lilith!” Abaddon’s voice rang out and she and Sam turned to see the demon holding Dean close to his side. “We don’t hurt Sam, remember?”

She frowned. “I was playing.”

“But he doesn’t see it that way.”

She sighed. “Fine.” She pulled Sam up and kissed his cheek. “Tell Dean goodbye.”

“What? No! I won’t leave him. I won’t-“

She placed her hand over his mouth. “You’ll see him sooner if you just stop arguing.”

Sam stared at her and then looked over at Dean. He noticed the slight nod of his older brother’s head. “Okay. I’ll go with you.”

He let himself be led away, still not sure which end was up, but once he was out of sight of the others, Jess held him up against another wall more gently.

She licked her way down his jaw to his neck and then up to his ear. “Mmmm…I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

Sam stood still, letting her continue her sickening teasing. His resolve faltered when she started to rub him through his jeans, though. “What…what are you doing?”

“I miss us, Sam. Don’t you miss us?” She pulled back and looked into his eyes while continuing to fondle him.

In that moment he could almost pretend she was the Jess he remembered, but even then he couldn’t get excited about being with her. He was too concerned about Dean.

And then he was there. Jess wasn’t unzipping his jeans and she wasn’t getting on her knees. It was Dean. And in his upset, he fell into the illusion.

He gasped and leaned his head back against the wall, feeling the coolness trying to penetrate his senses. “Dean….”

Lilith jerked back in surprise at the strangled moan. She had expected disgust, but all she heard was pleasure. She spoke with Dean’s voice. “Really….”

She moved aside his boxers and began to suck on him earnestly, amused at how hard he got in such a short amount of time. She moaned and felt Sam’s hands on her face, caressing while she fucked him with Dean’s mouth.

He started panting and losing his strength to stand when it clicked that this person was not Dean. He shoved her off of him. “You’re not him.”

Lilith looked up at him and gave him a patented Dean Winchester smirk. “And if I was? You would have finished it, wouldn’t you?”

He frowned, not wanting Dean to find out. “Shutup.”

“He doesn’t know.”

“It’s incest.”

“Not anymore, remember?”

She stood as Jess once more and dressed him before pulling him along after her.

She thought about telling Abaddon about this development, but she’d said the binding couldn’t be interfered with.

Isn’t that what I’m doing? No…I’m just not helping it along.

Sam felt his erection softening, but it would jump again as soon as he remembered the look of Dean on his knees before him. He tried to push the thoughts away but, considering that was exactly the relationship he was going to pursue with Dean when he walked out of the shower earlier, they kept pushing back.

************

Abaddon was surprised when he’d caught up with Sam and Lilith. He didn’t need Dean thinking he was going back on his word after all these years. Sam would not be harmed and that was final. However, there was a chance that Dean and Sam would finally come home to him and Lilith and that excited him.

He could only hope that letting Dean confess to Sam about the fact they weren’t brothers wouldn’t make Sam want to claim Dean as his own.

He remembered telling Dean the truth about his ‘brother’ and how he had watched the boy grow up with the knowledge they didn’t share blood. He thought back to the conversation he’d had with Lilith when Mary Winchester’s pregnancy came to its end.

Abaddon had easily stood watch over Mary and John disguised as an intern. He was fascinated with this tiny woman who could give such love and if it weren’t for the man he was watching next to the woman now, he’d be with her and their son. He’d watched as she’d pushed their child out into the world. For a moment he understood the true joy and love of being a father.

Now as he looked into the nursery at his tiny son, he felt as if everything had finally been worth this one moment.

“He’s beautiful.”

Abaddon spun around to face the nurse who had just walked up to him, not realizing Lilith would use this same form years later as ‘Jess’.

“Lilith…”

“This is different. You never cared before. What am I supposed to think?”

“I wanted a child.”

“And we can’t have one.”

The pain that crossed her features was too much for him and he caressed her cheek with his hand. As she leaned into the touch, he leaned his forehead against hers. “This child will be ours.”

She closed her eyes treasuring the moment of love she felt at that moment. “But he’s not. He’s yours…and hers. It’s fine that you love him, but you love her as well, don’t you?”

“No, Lilith. Not really. I love the idea of what she felt for her husband, but never her. I never thought about her the way I think about you.”

Lilith stepped back and smiled at him. “Then I can accept this child.”

Abaddon grinned. “They named him Dean.”

Lilith laughed. “Not a religious name…that’s handy. What will you do?”

“I don’t know. I know he will be my child in every sense.”

She frowned then. “But…he’s human.”

“I didn’t say it would be easy, but he’ll have to deal with it.”

Lilith knew Abaddon had very little understanding of humans so she was pleased she had already taken it upon herself not to let him make a mistake.

“You can’t.”

“What? You dare to tell me-“

“Yes, I most certainly do dare to tell you. He won’t survive if you raise him like your other children. He is human and because of their love for him, he has no demonic attributes that could help him withstand your upbringing.”

Abaddon shook his head as his son opened his eyes.

“I won’t lose him. I won’t…”

“You can’t have him now. He wouldn’t be ready for years yet.”

“You can’t stop me.”

She sighed. “Yes, I can…”

His eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t.”

“I already did. I won’t let you destroy him and then be miserable for centuries trying to get over it. I’m doing this for your own good.”

He placed his palm on the glass separating him from Dean. He knew he should throttle the bitch, but it wouldn't help matters. What was done was done. “Let me hold him once.”

She nodded. “Once.”

He went around to the door and made the nurse think he was supposed to be there, along with Lilith who had followed him.

He laid his hands on the infant and immediately felt the power coming from him from the mixed blood of himself, his human mother, and Lilith. He had been expecting her blood because of what she had done, but there was a great deal of it and he frowned and growled when Lilith came into his view. “You could have killed him!”

“That was the point. It was only after watching him struggle so hard against death as I drained his blood I realized he was worth you. That’s why I infused him with my blood, making it impossible for you to take him from this plane of existence without my permission.”

“Bitch…”

“I’ll take care of him, Abaddon. But you can’t see him. I won’t let you. Not until he’s old enough to be the son you want him to be.”

“I should send you back to Hell this moment.”

“If you do, you kill him and you know it. My strength is the only thing keeping him alive right now.”

Abaddon shook his head, admitting defeat and picked Dean up, looking into his eyes. “Hi there, Dean. I’m your daddy.” He smiled and pulled the infant into a hug. He patted his back and was mindful not to squeeze too tight. “Please…don’t fail to come to me when you’re old enough. I’ll be waiting for you, son…”

He put the child down after kissing him softly on the forehead and turned back to Lilith. “When?”

“Once they’re home. The first time he leaves them alone.”

Abaddon touched Dean’s cheek. “Promise me you’ll make it fast and painless…for his sake.”

She nodded. “I promise. She’s given you a fine son. I won’t make her suffer.” And she meant it. Lilith was cruel, but when it came to Abaddon she’d always had a tender spot for him that couldn’t be hardened.

Abaddon had turned and walked away from his son then. He’d left the hospital and disappeared into the night. Lilith had gotten to Dean first and with her blood made his hold on the child null and void until she decided to relinquish her rights to his upbringing. He hated the damned blood rituals that were part of his life, but they were sacred and she’d surprised him with her ability to foresee what problems would have been ahead if he’d taken Dean that day.

She had kept her word. John had left for work and Mary was napping with the baby when Lilith killed her. Mary never knew it happened and Dean was in his new mother’s arms before he was two weeks old.

Abaddon smiled as he thought what would happen if Dean knew the truth. He always thought Mary was with him until he was three and then killed just so Lilith could get back at Abaddon and have a daughter.

The truth was, she could have daughters. They were all incapable of bearing children, though. He decided that might have been a blessing because now he got to be with his son without worrying about him settling down and finding one of Lilith’s daughters to have children with.

And Lilith had killed Mary to protect Dean, not have Sam. That was planned because Lilith had fallen for the little boy she’d taken care of for those years.

”Mommy?” The little boy rubbed his eyes as he walked into his parent’s bedroom.

Lilith got up, careful not to wake John. She didn’t love the man, but he was good to her and she knew he had to be up early in the morning. She scooped up Dean and carried him back to his room.

“Hey, little man. What are you doing up?”

“I had a bad dream.”

“You did? What was it?”

“I was alone. No Daddy and no Mommy. Will you die?”

She held him close. “Oh honey…everyone dies one day.”

“Me, too?”

She felt her tears fall down her cheeks and onto his head. She didn’t understand how this child could make her fall so in love with him. She started to rock him, wishing he could live a life free of pain, but that wasn’t possible. She knew who his father was. She also knew she couldn’t stay around for fifty more years to not cause him the agony of losing his mother at a young age. Soon Dean would ask about the ritual she performed to continue bonding him to her or he’d slip and tell John.

“Yeah, you, too.” Of course that wasn’t true, but she didn’t have to tell him that.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“You have me and Daddy, okay?”

“No…not good enough.” He yawned as her rocking motion started to lull him to sleep.

She maneuvered him into bed and watched as his eyes started to droop. “Oh really…well then, what do you suggest?”

“Baby brother?”

She grinned. He’d been asking for a baby since he’d been old enough to talk. “So now it’s a brother? I thought you didn’t care whether it was a boy or girl.”

“I do now. A brother…I’d be a good big brother…and he wouldn’t leave me.”

“Oh baby…I know you would.” She stroked his hair until he fell asleep.

She stood up and cursed herself for wanting to give this child everything, but she knew she couldn’t so she’d just have to do her best.

She thought of Abaddon. He’d be pissed, but she had to give him a chance to have a good life. The plan was Dean would go with Abaddon and live in Hell with him as his son as soon as Lilith felt he was old enough to handle it. Of course, no human could handle it, but at least Dean would be able to let his father know when it got to be too much.

She went downstairs and pulled out various supplies before starting the binding that would tie Abaddon’s hands forever.

She first made sure she was ready to give Dean his wish and then she began. She would give Dean his ‘brother’ and only if that boy killed Dean would Abaddon be able to take them both to Hell to live with them. Of course she had to think of a way for them to escape that would never happen as well. So she decided to also arrange for the boys to get away from that fate if they fell in love and consummated that love.

She smirked, knowing that wouldn’t happen because she’d be there to raise them and she’d make them homophobic if the idea of incest didn’t turn them off enough, even if technically it wouldn’t be.

When everything was complete, she picked up and crawled back into bed after pulling off her nightgown. She kissed her way down John’s body and moaned when she felt him respond.

“Mary…”

“Shh….just make love to me.”

John smiled and pulled her close.

The next day as Lilith watched cartoons with Dean, she knew it had worked. She would give Dean his baby brother.

“Hey!”

Abaddon stopped and looked at Dean. “What?”

“Where’d you go? You’re like a million miles away. I come to see you once in a fucking year and you ignore me, huh? Does that mean I can leave early?”

“It just means I was thinking of all the fun things I could do to Sam.”

Dean clenched his fists and remembered not to strike out at the demon. “You can’t. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You could take him.” Abaddon smirked, a challenge in his eyes.

“What?”

“Take him. Make him yours and then you’ll be free, right?”

Dean shook his head sadly. “I’d die first. I won’t do that to him. I’m his brother.”

“But you’re not.”

Dean closed his eyes as his headache began anew. “He didn’t know that until today. His feelings for me won’t change like that.”

“You know I get to take you both now.”

Dean’s eyes opened then. “No, you don’t. Just me, remember? Technically Sam didn’t kill me. He only tried to.”

Abaddon sighed. “I was hoping to give Sam an opportunity to kill you later.”

Dean looked confused. “Later…why would he do that?”

Abaddon pulled him close so he could whisper in his ear. “Because when I’m done with you, you’ll be begging for him to put you out of your misery.”

TBC…